CatholicView Staff: First let me thank you for your ministry. It has been there for me many times. My question regards something I was pondering the other day and whether it was blasphemous/sinful. Please answer soon it is of great concern to me. 1. I declared God to be my friend in my mind. 2. Temptation - If you are going to hell is God your friend? (It felt like Satan himself said it, but it could have been me) 3. I'm sure I rebuked this in various ways and moved on. 4. Later I reflected on this and for a brief second I concluded that "if you are headed for hell because of the unpardonable sin or if you are in hell then God is your enemy". I fear that my heart agreed with this and it was not something that simply passed through. I don't think I applied this theory to myself personally as I have told myself that even if I found myself in hell I would still not blaspheme. I think I was looking at this from more of a natural law logic or something. I.E. Hell=place for God's enemies therefore Residents of Hell do not like God. I feel some guilt over this
but I'm not sure why. I guess I fear that it would apply to me if I
was in hell.
Can you provide any insight? Was this even a sin?
- Ben
Ben:
You may be thinking too much,
obsessing on something that is not possible for you! Hell is for
God's enemies, as you put it. Heaven is for God's friends. If you
are a friend of God and His Son, Jesus, then heaven is waiting for
you after you complete your mission here on earth. You have stated
that you are God's friend. Therefore, heaven has a place for you.
End of discussion. You are not going to hell if you have love of
God in your heart and spirit because even the faintest hint of love
of God in a person's heart will prevent that person from ever being
an enemy of God. Hell is for those who totally
hate God and His Word and have acted out that hate in what they have
done in this life. I can see from your letter that you are not a
hater but a lover of God so much so that you do not want to be
separated from Him. Be at peace!
CatholicView Staff: I am a 26 year old Catholic from Missouri. I have come to a point where I fear that I do not truly love God, although I do strive to live a Christian life as much as I am able. In church, I find myself feeling out of place and disconnected as others sing songs about glorifying Him, sometimes to the extent that I feel bitter, angry or hold back tears. I know that their experiences must not be unlike my own, perhaps even worse. We all live in this same world and it is very difficult at times. But that is basically all it comes down to, and I haven't been able to get over the persistent thought that living in this life, generation after generation, is a sort of cruel form of torture. I have thought that I should not have children to perpetuate the evil experiences here, since that much is in my power at least, though I know it is not lawful for me to end my own life. Naturally, with this kind of mindset that I haven't been able to overcome, when I sincerely pray it often seems to just make things worse, causing bad headaches and anguish. Reading the Bible does not seem to help, and I don't know anyone to really talk to about how I feel or what I should do about it. The best way I've found to be able to get over it is just to try to avoid thinking about religion and God in general, and have thought about just stopping church attendance because of that. But I know, deep down inside, that is not what I really want. I long to feel loved by God again, to be able to pray without this dark cloud hanging over my head. I could probably write more about why I feel that way, and the petty circumstances that may have led to that revelation, but it may seem like brooding, and I have learned it is just not healthy to do that. I don't know any really positive things to focus on, though. I just wanted to write this, in the hope that someone may have some recommendations about what I should do, and out of curiosity about whether it is a sin to neglect to procreate for the reasons outlined above... to prevent the agony of more lives on this earth. - David David:
One of the great temptations in
life is not the breaking of any of the ten commandments. The
greatest temptation to me is the temptation to be ungrateful and
negative. That very temptation -- not to count one's blessings
-- is Satan's way of turning people into hateful and bitter souls
that will act out that hate and bitterness in what they say and do,
causing great pain to those around them. It is so easy to succumb
to such negative ungratefulness. By obsessing on the negative in
the world, a person can be tempted to believe that life isn't worth
living. And when a person falls for that Satanic lie, then life
becomes such a burden that one loses sight of the joys of living.
Whatever may be your struggles, these painful experiences do NOT
negate the positive joys of life itself. Feeling sorry for one's
self blinds one to the great things around us. I would like to
shake you and begin to point out the blessings that always surround
us. So, it is time to stop obsessing on the negative -- stop the
pity party -- and begin to see what you have, the simple joys, such
a food, refreshment, clothes, housing, things that others may not
enjoy somewhere in the world. Then you can continue to listing of
blessings such as a job, ability to enjoy material things, and so on.
Once you begin listing the blessings, the power of the negative
temptation to give up on life falls away enabling you see God's Hand
in everything around you. I begin each day with this prayer on my
lips, "Thank you, Lord, for another day!" Then I get up and I am
ready to see what joys and sorrows the day will bring. The joys of
the day show me that God is with me and life is worth living to the
full. The pain and sorrow of the day are opportunities for wisdom
and maturity that I will need to be of spiritual and emotional help
for someone in the future. My prayer for you is that you will not
be blinded by hate but be healed by a grateful heart. And if it is
in God's Plan and Will that you have children, then it will happen.
If not, then it will not happen. But first, let's open your soul to
gratitude! Thank you, Lord for everything, the joys and sorrows,
that make life such an adventure!
CatholicView Staff:
I understand that what I am asking is something that I need to talk to my local parish priest about, but I needed to get some input first as it is a big issue. I was dating a man, also Catholic, and we had gotten serious and began to look at getting married eventually. Things had been going very well then when he spoke to his parents about it they did not approve of the relationship as I had a child from a previous marriage (prior to being baptized and becoming Catholic which ended one night when he tried to kill my daughter and myself). We both tried very hard to figure this out and make it work. The disappointment that it was causing his parents was too much and we decided to go our separate ways so he could find some peace. A month after going our ways I found out that I was with child. I made many attempts to contact him with no response. In that time I had a friend who proposed that we get married so he could help me take care of the child and I would have insurance. I was so heartbroken and I agreed it was probably what was best and got married (in a casino). I just wanted to be okay. Months later this man came back into my life. I let him know everything. Then we both made huge mistakes and began having a relationship, not a physical one, but an emotional one through letters, emails and phone calls. Now we are both devastated and trying to find some peace with ourselves, each other and most of all the Church and God. We have limited our conversations and are trying to figure out what the right thing is. Our problem is that we both know we have made so many mistakes and still are very much in love that we don't even know what the right thing is anymore. I'm afraid for our souls and so is he but we are also so afraid of losing one another that we need help in seeing straight. I pray every day for guidance but am afraid I do not see it clearly. Please provide any input? - Mindi
Dear Mindi: We all make mistakes, some mistakes and their consequences live on in our lives for a long time. Yet, mistakes are opportunities to learn and gain wisdom which is what God wants of us. You do not state your ages so I am going to presume that you are maturing adults ready now to do what is right and moral. Your marriage outside of the church to your friend was a mistake that can be corrected quickly through the Church. You need to "civilly divorce" your friend so that you can be free to marry in the church in the future. A church document from your diocesan marriage tribunal called "lack of form" can be obtained through your parish priest. Then you can figure out if the father of your child is the man you should marry. You should not jump into any marital plans until you are convinced in your heart that the father of your child is truly the man God made for you. Yes, the life mistakes that you describe will have consequences in your life for years to come. But be assured that God always has a "Plan B" for both of you. You can NEVER frustrate God's Will, but you can frustrate yourselves if you fight His Will. Please be assured of His love for both of you and your child. Do not be afraid of "losing your souls" -- that implies that you have given up on yourselves -- and God never gives up on you. Never. Jesus never loses what God the Father has given to Him. Do what is right to correct this mess. If marrying the father of your child is the right thing, then do it despite parental displeasure. If going forward without him is the right thing, then the Lord will walk with you on your new path of destiny. In either choice, trust in God and let Him take care of the details. Do what is right for you and your new born child. God will always bless you despite the consequences of your actions. He will open doors for you always. - The Staff At CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: My deceased mother-in-law was Catholic but practicing Santeria. Her ashes are in my home, should I be concerned about any spirits or demons attached to her? - Suzanne Dear Suzanne: To those visitors who are reading this, Santeria is an African-based religion similar to voodoo, originating in Cuba and Brazil, and it combines the worship of traditional Yoruban deities with the worship of Roman Catholic Saints. Like Voodoo, Santeria came to the Americas with the millions of black slaves from West Africa, principally from the Yoruban tribes along the Niger River. Forced to convert to Catholicism, the slaves continued their religion in secret, passing along the ancient traditions either orally or in handwritten notebooks called 'liretas'. Gradually, the Yorubans began to see what they believed were the incarnations of their gods into the Catholic saints and synchronized the two faiths. Suzanne, you have nothing to worry about the ashes in your home. You may be uncomfortable, but you must realize that God holds all power in His mighty Hands. No other 'diety', nor spirits, or demons can survive this power. He alone created this earth and all of us. Find solace knowing this. If you feel concerned about having the ashes of your husband's mother in your home, take your bible and pray over the urn, asking God for His loving peace. Do not let Satan and his spirits have this hold over you. You have nothing to fear. If you are still uncomfortable with this aura of spirits or demons you feel are still attached to your mother-in-law's ashes, ask your husband if he would consent to putting the them elsewhere, such as in a grave, or in a vault where they are not so apparent to you on a daily basis if this affects your sense of peace. May the Lord give you comfort and assurance that He is always there
beside you, along with His host of angels.
May
the peace of God, which surpasses all human understanding guard your heart
and your mind through our Precious Savior, Jesus Christ.
(Philippians 4:7)
CatholicView Staff: I'm divorced, and know it is a mortal sin, but if God forgives all sins, then can I receive communion if sorry for the divorce? - Judith
Judith: Absolutely you can be forgiven. There is only forgiveness if it is done with true repentance of your sin and you have said you are sorry for your divorce. Have you been to the Sacrament of Confession (Sacrament of Reconciliation)? You do not give details why you are divorced so it is hard to give you the complete answer that you need. Before receiving communion you must do this. Please see your parish priest and arrange this if you haven't already. May the Lord Who loves you unconditionally give you the strength to move forward with peace. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am a divorced Catholic married by the courthouse, not the Catholic Church , and am dating a divorced Lutheran, is this committing adultery ? - Vineyi Vineyi: Thank you for your question. You are committing adultery only if you are having sexual relations with someone who is not your wife, divorced or not. Sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin whether you are single or married. If you plan to marry your fiancé and she took her vows in the Lutheran Church, she will have to have that marriage annulled. You were married in a courthouse but you do not state whether you had the marriage later blessed in the Church. If you were then you need to talk to a priest about this. As to the matter of adultery, this would depend on whether you are having a sexual relationship Your priest will be able to
sort these things out. Sit down and explain your situation. If you
plan to get married, you may need to get annulments. Thank you for
writing and wanting to set these matters straight. May the Lord
strengthen you and give you the courage to follow His Will. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: As a child I found out through therapy I was sexually abused and have led a life of sexual activity. I'm 46 now and I masturbate a lot to the pictures on the computer. How can I stop this behavior? - Dave
Dave: I am very sorry to read about your sin addiction to Internet porn. And I believe you sincerely want to stop this pattern. I must ask you to remember Matthew 5: 28-29 which is very explicit on sins of the flesh. It reads "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. Prayer is the answer. A simple prayer such as "Lord please take away my addiction to porn. I am so sorry and I repent of this sin. Stand close to me and make me strong enough to move away. I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen" Please pray and ask God to help you to say "No" every time you reach for the switch on your computer. Ask the Lord for His unlimited mercy and strength. Tell Him you regret your actions and sincerely want to change because you realize that you are in bondage and want to be free. Then make a strong effort to throw out all signs of porn material such as books, magazines, and things which tempt the spirit. Delete the links to these sinful sites. Read your bible and take courage from it. You CAN WIN this fight to reclaim your life. Pray sincerely and ask God to cleanse you. If you persist in this behavior and die in this state, your soul will be lost. Do not let Satan rule you. If you make up your mind to change and follow God, Satan will lose his hold on you. Dave, keep remembering that
you are loved and are special in His eyes. God sees your dilemma
and He will help you to overcome this addiction. Continue to pray
that God will release you from this bondage. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Why do we not sing the "Our Father" in the Catholic Church?" - Marney Marney: Some Catholic Churches do sing the "Our Father" or The Lord's Prayer in the Catholic Church. It depends on whether the pastor designates it for singing rather than reciting it. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: About 3 or 4 years ago I feel like I had what I could only describe as a demonic or evil encounter. I awoke from a deep sleep in a state of panic/surprise and I flipped my light switch on and all 3 lights burned out at once in a bright white, but fading to red flash, I then saw a slight glow begin to appear in the shape of a pentagram on the ceiling and became more afraid and went to the bathroom connecting my room to my brother's. I hit the switch and these lights burned out instantly in another flash and as my eyes adjusted to this light I saw two large pool-ball sized slitted eyes behind my right shoulder staring at me in the mirror that seemed to be only a few feet away from me. I know I was fully aware of everything going on, and was awake for this; I couldn't sleep for several days, and what I saw still haunts my thoughts to this day some times... As well as this, two months before the incident I was walking outside to smoke a cigarette and something flashed by my side rushing out from the house at speeds my eyes couldn't catch details on. I know that it moved at least 50 feet of halls and right past me and could not have been a rodent. I have only just told my fiancé because I don't want to be cast out from society and disregarded as an insane person, but this as well was real and I even was told by my brother that I looked like a ghost right after it happened. I am fearful and have no idea how to get over what I saw and, having come to believe in God truly within my soul recently, am hoping to seek a real explanation of the two events I encountered. - Bill Dear Bill:
I am sorry that you have faced such fearful encounters in the past. Surely these happenings were unnerving and mind boggling. Have you ever talked to a professional concerning these things? Have you tried the following? (1) Sit down and talk to a priest about these terrible happenings and see what he recommends. (2) Ask him to say a prayer with you, asking that all evil entities be removed by the power of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (3) Try praying sincerely, asking God to eliminate these evil happenings from your mind and set you free. (4) Try keeping your bible at your bedside, reading a verse or two before falling asleep. This will renew the Lord's peace in you. Please make an appointment with your priest. Tell him every thing you have written here. May the Lord in His eternal mercy give you the freedom and the joy He has promised to give all those who believe in Him. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Could you please explain what is the agreed upon criteria (of all churches) for one not to be considered a Christian anymore? Is it just denial of divinity of Christ, Crucifixion, and Resurrection, or is there more than this? Thank you. Tony Dear Tony: Interesting question. If a person chooses to turn their backs on the Lord, going their own way, indulging in sin without remorse, does not attend Church, etc. that person is not considered a Christian. But only God can read our hearts, only He can know these things. However, if the person knows the state of his soul and is sorry and asks for forgiveness, God grants him/her the opportunity to repent and it will be done. Forgiveness, however, must come with full and true repentance. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My grandmother's prayers to Our Lady were answered when I left my abusive husband. This was his second(secular) marriage so I now see the folly of it. How do I face all the people who criticize or attack me (like my former mother-in-law) for leaving him because they don't understand that I am protecting future potential children from a tyrant who would put their lives at risk? How do I make sense of what has happened to me in the eyes of God? I know that God did not want me to have children with him because after a year of trying, so that my husband would be forced to act more fairly and responsible, nothing happened. This was before I realized I was being abused and had to escape, like a prisoner. Perhaps God has another purpose for me, such as helping charities that keep women safe from these types of people. I have already suggested fundraising ideas to the local women's refuge that helped me. What do you think? I have led a very bizarre life which began when I was conceived out of wedlock at a rock festival (lol). But I am baptized and confirmed as a Roman Catholic. Does God have an unusual plan for me? Or am I just learning the error of my ways? Perhaps my birth itself was a mistake. I suffer from depression and sometimes think of throwing away this gift of life treasured by so many because I believe this could be the case. I pray every day for the strength to avoid harming myself or to cope with bills whenever acts of either generosity to friends or self-indulgence lead me into difficulties now that I receive a low income on sickness benefit. I have an IQ of 133, and had always believed that God's plan for me was to be educated so that I can help others either stay safe or be enlightened in my work. But I have failed an exam at university and will have to reschedule it this year. I have also fallen in love again and have a feeling that the only reason for my previous relationship was so that God could engineer a situation in which the two of us met, which never would have happened had my life not been effected by the marriage. I just wish I could make sense of it all. I sometimes feel as if my very existence breaks the rules. - Kathryn
Kathryn: I am saddened to hear that your husband was abusive to you. From what you write, it seems you did the right thing in ending the marriage, not only for yourself but as you say for future children. And since you have not had children in this marriage, I would suggest that you ignore and avoid your past mother-in-law. God wants us to put value on ourselves. Sometimes out of the bad experiences we have faced, we learn. And something good comes forth that is according to God's plan for us. Remember each and every one of us is special in His eyes. No matter what our beginnings were, we are still loved by Almighty God. God wants us to move forward, not looking back at things over which we had no control such as the circumstances of your birth. I am happy that you have met someone else that you have fallen in love with. If you are serious about this man in your life, you must to speak with a priest to see if you will need to file for annulment of this past marriage. Pray and ask the Lord to strengthen you, to give you courage to move ahead and be reconciled to the Church. Do call and make an appointment to talk in depth about the issues that are of concern to you. And remember that God loves you and wants you to come back home to the Church. He waits to forgive and to give you courage and His grace to make it through. Count on His eternal love for you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am 69 yrs old and a Catholic Candidate. I am married 33 yrs to my husband who was divorced. I've been told I may or may not have to get annulment. I raised 5 children. Please help me. I have been told it depends on Priest at Parish? I am half way through RCIA and very upset at my age. - Maria Maria: You must speak to the priest where you are taking the R.C.I.A classes and explain your situation. You have been in a successful marriage for 33 years and raised five children. What a blessing! I am very confident your husband will be able to get an annulment if it is indeed necessary. Go to another parish if your parish priest cannot help you in this matter. This should not be a problem. Please do not worry. God knows all and He also knows your faithfulness in your marriage and as mother to five children. Keep your eyes fixed on your desire which is your completion of your R.C.I.A. classes. May the Lord bless you greatly as you work toward your goal of being part of our Catholic family. We welcome you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: While attending Mass in St Peters Basilica in Oct., 2010, the Priest offered the Eucharist Bread dipped in wine. Is this permitted in the US in lieu of the traditional separate Eucharist and drink from the cup of wine? Thank you and God Bless. - Joe Dear Joe: What you are speaking of is
customary in Eastern Orthodox Churches. It is called 'intinction'.
It is the dipping of the host (body of Christ) in the consecrated
wine at communion. Only under strict conditions is intinction
allowed in our Masses. If the communicant receives the host then
proceeds to the wine, he or she must not dip it into the cup. This
is expressly forbidden. Hope this helps a bit.
- CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I've been married since 1990 and in recent years have met someone else whom I'm fallen in love with. I've taken that relationship so far as to commit adultery. I am now stuck between two worlds and two people whom I love deeply. My question is, will God forgive me or have I lost the spiritual battle because I was too weak? I know the seriousness of adultery and I feel I've lost my soul forever and I don't know what to do to get myself back again. I don't want to hurt anyone. Dear Theresa: I am so sorry that you find yourself in this predicament. And I can understand how sad you feel with this heavy burden you are carrying. You do not say if you want to mend your marriage or choose to continue in this new relationship. You say you love both your husband and the other man. Do you have children? Sadly, you have committed a serious and mortal sin by breaking the vows you made before God when you married your husband. If you want to save your marriage you must pray to God to help you let go of the man you are seeing. And you will need to see a priest as soon as possible for help in straightening out your life. Do not be afraid to go. This is vital. All things can be set right. You have taken the first important step by writing to us. God will forgive you because His Son Jesus Christ paid for this forgiveness. He waits to hear that you are sorry and want to make things right. He wants you to promise to avoid sin in the future. Your soul depends on this. Please pray to God right now. Let Him know the extent of your sorrow, promising that you will avoid this sin of adultery in the future. A simple prayer will do. Make an appointment to talk to a priest as soon as possible. He will talk to you and advise you concerning your marriage and this other man you are involved with. The priest will ask you to go to confession. Only then can you be reunited with the Church family and accept the Sacrament of Communion. You have taken the first important step forward. We will pray that you take that second step back to the waiting arms of Jesus Christ Who died for your sins. CatholicView will pray for you that you find peace and joy once more. We will pray for your strength and your courage. Move forward now, knowing that God loves you very much. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: We live in a small southern town and often times on Sunday after Mass we take a trip to the big city to visit old friends. In trying to keep holy the Lord's Day, we heard it was a sin to eat out or do anything requiring people to work on Sunday (movies, shopping etc.) With our family's school/work schedule, this is often the only day we have to visit with our friends. It is a day we all look forward to as a day of relaxation and visiting. However, we would not want to be sinning by doing this. So, keeping in mind that we are not forcing these folks to work, is it a sin to eat out/go places with people working on Sunday? Thank you for all you do! -Andrew
Dear Andrew: This question was answered in the April 2010 "Ask a Priest" Issue of CatholicView. Here is the hyperlink to use: "http://catholicvu.com/newpage352htm.htm" APRIL2010 "Ask a Priest" The following is our answer to your interesting question: You are referring to the Commandment which states, “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work.” We must leave this one up to God’s judgment. It would be hard to determine if these working people have attended Mass on Saturday, which would fulfill their Sunday Obligation, or if they may be in dire need of money to support their families. Some may not be Catholic or a believer in some other religion. Or perhaps in none. And so, because we cannot judge, it is not wrong to enjoy a Sunday meal. God bless you for caring about the souls of others. Steven, I hope this helps a bit. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My boyfriend is Hindu by religion and wants to marry me. Does he has to convert to get married to me, if we intend to get married in our Catholic Church?" - Margaret Margaret: Thank you for writing to CatholicView. And congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Yes, you are able to be married in the Church. Your fiancé does not have to convert to marry you. The only thing required is that he will respect your faith as you will respect his. And he will be asked if he is willing to allow his children to be brought up in the faith. These are points that will be important and vital to you as a Catholic. Hope this helps. - - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: When I was 16 to the time I was 32, I had an on-again-off-again affair w/ a married man 14 yrs my senior. While we never had intercourse, it was a sexual relationship. I loved this man more deeply than any other man in my life. I ended the relationship when I married someone else 2 yrs ago. While I acknowledge the relationship was wrong, I cannot say I'm sorry. Can I ever be truly forgiven? - Sandy Sandy: You have taken the first step toward repentance. Praise God! You ask if you can be forgiven. Have you prayed and asked for forgiveness? Have you been to confession? You can be forgiven. But forgiveness can only come with sorrow and repentance for sin. However you say you cannot tell God you are truly sorry for the sin you carried out for 16 years. If you want to be forgiven you must first acknowledge your sin and are sorry that you have indulged in a relationship that rightfully belonged to this man's wife. Imagine how you would feel if your new husband became involved with a young underage girl. If you can recognize that your behavior was contrary to the teachings of Christ, and you express regret and are truly sorry, God, in His eternal mercy, will forgive you. He waits patiently, Sandy. Please sit down with your parish priest and discuss this with him. May God help you to see the error of your deeds. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Wondering if anyone can help me? Was the Virgin Mary actually a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus or was she just kind spirited? Lana Lana: The bible tells us the following: In Matthew 1:18 it reads: "This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit." Again in Luke 1:27 "In
the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel
to Nazareth, a village in Galilee, to a virgin named Mary. She was
engaged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of King
David." Lana, there you have biblical readings concerning Mary's virginity. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have difficulty sitting silently, waiting for God to speak directly to me. I hear so many people talk about how they can go to the "classroom of silence" and God speaks directly to their heart. When I pray, it seems I do all the talking. When I try to sit quietly and listen, my mind wanders. Unfortunately it often wanders to mundane things like business matters or other things that are pressing in my life. I don't even know what to focus on when I try to sit in silence. Somebody once told me to visualize a rose, but that lasts about 5 seconds. Do you have any ideas on how I can better quietly listen to what God has to say to me instead of me blabbering onto him? - Adam Dear Adam: Every Christian has a personal way of communing with God. Decide to give God some of your hours by quietly reading your bible. Concentrate on the teachings of our Savior. Quietly thank God for your life, how He has spared you from harm, thank Him for your home and your family. Thank Him for each breath you take, and how He woke you up in the morning. Thank Him for the people in your life and the joy they give, thank Him for your job, for supplying your needs, the flowers, the sunshine that warms you, the stars, all the things we take for granted. Pray quietly and let God surround you. Feel the peace that only He can give surround you. Don't wait for God to speak. He will speak to your heart and to your soul and you will know it. God bless you for your endeavor to be closer to God. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: What is the meaning of fornication vs. adultery in Matthew 19.9? Also is it possible to forgive adultery but not want to be married or have any dealings with that person. Or does to forgive mean that I must learn to love and be her lover again? - Carl Carl: Thank you for your question. The dictionary reads the following about adultery. "..voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse." And for fornication: "voluntary sexual intercourse between two unmarried persons or two persons not married to each other." Both are considered serious sins. Jude 1:7 reads : "As Sodom and Gomorrha, and the neighboring cities, in like manner, having given themselves to fornication, and going after other flesh, were made an example, suffering the punishment of eternal fire." Douay American Edition. And Matthew 19:9 states: And I say to you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that shall marry her that is put away, committeth adultery. Fornication is a sin. It means dishonoring the temple of the Holy Spirit –our bodies. You must end this sexual relationship, unless you both want to commit to marriage. Do not lie down with anyone unless you intend to marry that person. Love does not hurt another. it protects and respects the person for love is honorable. This is lesson you must learn for the future. Please benefit from this lesson and do not enter into mortal sin again, knowing that you will not or cannot marry the person. Forgiveness? Yes, you can be forgiven for our God gives us second chances. But forgiveness comes with repentance and sorrow for these acts. You must pray to God and ask him for forgiveness and His mercy.
Make an appointment to go to confession
for reconciliation. Remember, true forgiveness mean promising to
avoid sin in the future. May the Lord help you to stay on His path
and give you the courage to move forward in your faith.
- CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My mother is a devout Catholic. I have been living with my boyfriend for over four years and just moved back to my home town. I invited my mother to my home and she refused saying she couldn't because we're not married. My question is this: Doesn't being a Christian mean not being judgmental? I don't feel like my mother coming over means she condones our living together, but she does. I'm not against marriage but for some reason by boyfriend is, at least right now. We are in our late 40's and have both been married before. Thank you. - Kathleen Kathleen: Your mother is right about your relationship. You are living in mortal sin and she is concerned. Being a Christian means living the way the Lord wants you to live. When we choose to live in sin, we are in danger of losing our souls. If your boyfriend does not want to commit to you, you must choose between living a sinful existence in order to be with a man is sin, losing the respect of your mother, and most of all giving up the beliefs of God and Church, choosing to live a life that God does not intend for you to live. CatholicView cannot help you but we will pray that you will reinstate yourself with your Church family again. Please think. And pray about this situation. May God strengthen you and give clarity to your actions. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am a Christian and I am dating an atheist. At first it was not a problem, I don't mind if he has not been raised in the faith. But now he seems to show religious hatred against Christianity. He is hostile and verbally abusive whenever something Christian is mentioned. Do I need to break up with him? What does the bible say? Sarah Sarah: Thank you for writing about your problem. I would advise you to not continue in this relationship. You cannot be happy with someone who does not believe in God as you do. You are unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 in the bible has this to say: "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God and they will be my people." Please pray hard about this man and make your decision. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Can a person be a mustard seed for another human? - Magvas: Magvas: Yes, you can be a mustard seed for another person. You can sow a tiny seed in others by telling them about the love of Jesus Christ. To let others see you live a Christian life. Mark 4:31-32 tells us " It is like a mustard seed planted in the ground. It is the smallest of all seeds, but it becomes the largest of all garden plants; it grows long branches, and birds can make nests in its shade.” And so, be an example for
others, show others the way if possible. Plant a mustard seed of
faith in those you encounter. God go with you. -
-
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Why don't I feel close to God anymore? I always felt close to God when I was a kid. I'm 32 now, but noticed a major changed when I was probably about 26 or so. It (at least the Jesus part of this question) may have coincided with getting a Jewish business partner, and moving to a Jewish neighborhood. Sounds strange and I'm really not impressionable at all, but I'm not sure what else it could be. It feels like the being (God/Jesus/Our-Creator) I was closest to is no longer there as strongly as when I was a child. I really don't think I'm as good of a person anymore. Could that be it? Is it "God helps those who help themselves" like my mother says? Thank you. Joe Dear Joe: Thank you for your question. By writing this to CatholicView, it shows you want to be close to God. And you can if you open your heart to Him. If we are not careful, it is easy to take that first step away from God, the Father and His Son Jesus Christ Who gave us salvation. And with one step away, it becomes two steps and when the door is sufficiently open, Satan brings others into our pathway to further divide your faith. Don't let the world chip away at your faith or your beliefs. Don't let Satan rob you of your precious faith. God has seen your struggles and waits to help you if you ask. Know that your faith is still alive by this letter to CatholicView. Revive it by asking the Lord to strengthen you through prayer. Your faith is not dead. Like a plant that is dry and is begging for water, you need God's Grace Who will fill that empty place in your heart. You must pray and ask Him to move all obstacles that are in your way to Him. God sees your situation and He waits with loving arms to welcome you back into the bosom of His love. And when you pray, always tell God of your concerns, ending your prayer using the name of God's Son, Jesus Christ, for Jesus tells us in John 14:13, "You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father." May God bless you. Don't
give up, Joe. God really loves you. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff:
My father, who was abusive and left my mother for another woman, is now alone (his 2nd wife has left him). I am concerned about him spiritually because he has hurt a lot of people and continues to lie compulsively. I would like to talk to him and encourage him to truly repent for his sins, but I am afraid of pushing him over the edge. Should I speak or write to him about his behavior or would it be best to leave the subject alone?
Marie: I am sorry to hear that your father has hurt so many people. If you can, I would offer him a bit of unconditional love, letting him see that he can count on that love however small it may be. But he will have to respect you in return. The most important thing you can do is pray as often as you can for him, asking God to open his heart and let him realize the damage he is doing to others. Establish a relationship if you can, and invite him to go to church with you. Give him hope of normalcy by seeing how you live your life. Perhaps if he can see the goodness and love in you he could change. But if he is abusive to you, you must keep your distance and continue to pray for his change. Keep asking the Lord to open his heart. Let's pray for that. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Thank you for so generously taking the time to do this. I've come to love The Sermon on the Mount. While I have a basic understanding of it on the surface, I'm sure it goes much deeper. Can you recommend a book that might help me to understand it better? Many Thanks in Advance, Jeff
Hello Jeffrey: I am sending you some links that may be helpful to you. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sermon_on_the_Mount has this to say about the Sermon On The Mount: "The Sermon on the Mount is a collection of Jesus' sayings, which emphasizes His moral teaching found in the Canonical Gospel of Matthew. According to chapters 5-7 of Matthews, Jesus of Nazareth gave this sermon (estimated around AD 30) on a mountainside to His disciples and a large crowd. Matthew groups Jesus' teachings into five discourses, of which the Sermon on the Mount is the first. The others concern instructions for the disciples, parables of the Kingdom, instructions for the church, and a harsh denunciation of scribes and Pharisees. The best-known written portions of the sermon comprise the Beatitudes, found at the beginning of the section. The sermon also contains the Lord's Prayer and the injunctions to "resist not evil" (5:39) and "turn the other cheek", as well as a version of the "Golden Rule". Other lines often quoted are the references to "salt of the earth", "light of the world" and "judge not, lest ye be judged." Many Christians believe that the Sermon on the Mount is a form of commentary on the Ten Commandments. It portrays Christ as the true interpreter of the Mosiac Law. To most believers in Jesus, the Sermon on the Mount contains the central tenets of Christian discipleship, and is considered as such by many religious and moral thinkers—such as Tolstoy, Ghandi and Dietrich Bonhoeffer —, and it has been one of the main sources of Christian pacifism." Here is another link that might shed light on your question: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02371a.htm, Books that may be helpful: http://catalog.americancatholic.org/product.aspx?prodid=A6110&pcat=75 (audio) http://www.catholiccompany.com/jesus-nazareth-p1111034/ http://www.ainglkiss.com/sermon/ http://www.catholicprimer.org/augustine/augustine_sermon_on_the_mount.pdf Jeffrey, there are so many
more on the Internet. May the lord bless you in your quest for
truth.
CatholicView Staff: I am going through a rough time, dealing with the effects of a motor vehicle accident that happened more than 5 years ago. Without going into specifics, the driver and his so-called "witness" both lied as to the facts in question. Please tell me how one finds it possible to forgive these individuals. Take care and God Bless. - Ryan Ryan: I am sorry to hear that the driver and witnesses lied about your motor accident that happened five years ago. Over these years this has caused you great mental anguish. The key is letting go, knowing that God saw that accident and will deal with those who lied some day. God sees everything, including the injustices others cause by withholding truth. You must give your suffering over this incident to God and ask Him to free you and give you the peace to move on. A simple prayer such as this will put you on the road to recovering your mind and heart: "Lord Jesus, I ask you to take away the bitterness and resentment that I have carried for five years . Forgive me for holding malice against those who hurt me. As you forgive me my wrongs, You ask me to forgive others as well. Take away my unforgiving spirit and cleanse and make me whole again. Fill me instead with your forgiving spirit, for as you forgive me of my wrongdoings, I must, in turn forgive others." Ryan, do not let the sins of others obsess your mind and soul. Those who have hurt you have long since gone on their unthinking ways. Or they, too, may be suffering the pangs of guilt for their behavior. God will handle this in His own time. Ask the Lord to take control of your life. Move forward knowing that God has seen your adversaries and will take care of it in His own way. Hand this burden over to Him. Stop punishing yourself. Be free through forgiving those who caused you pain. May our Loving God give you
the peace only He can give. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I feel as if I can no longer be part of the Catholic faith, I question many of her teachings such as Mary ever-virgin, social issues in contraceptives, and confession. It's that I have not tried to make an effort to understand and pray for this, but my reasoning and logic does not allow me to, should I just quit the church? Or should I still continue to go even though my conscience does not allow me to believe in certain teachings? - Shawn
Shawn: Thank you for your question. Here is an answer written by Father Kevin Bates and published in our April 2010 issue of "Ask a Priest" that may help you: "Many people in the Church struggle with such issues. Pope Paul VI's theological commission struggled with it and so did the Pope in 1968 before he made his decision to write the encyclical Humanae Vitae, which dealt with birth control among other issues. The way we grow in faith and in our understanding of our faith is by questioning, struggling, learning to understand and exploring the issues with each other. This is how the Holy Spirit works in the Church. So I'd suggest you struggle away with a good conscience just like most of us do!! If we think we have all the answers and don't need to ask any questions, we're kidding ourselves and we are certainly not true to our deeper Catholic Tradition. All good wishes. - Father Kevin
I would
suggest that you make an appointment with your parish priest. Sit
down with him privately and discuss this issue and your concerns at length. He will
be happy to assist you in any way possible. I might also add that
you pray to our Heavenly Father, asking Him to show you what you
must do to find peace within yourself whatever you choose to do,
asking all through the name of Jesus Christ Who paid for our
salvation. May you find peace within your heart as you move forward
to serve the Lord. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: The woman is a cradle Catholic and the husband is not. In 1983 they get married in a Baptist Church in the name of the "Father, Son and the Holy Spirit". About 10 years into the marriage, she tells him that they are not really married. In the eyes of the church she is a single mother with bastard children, living with a man in Sin. She said, this frees her to "date" or to be with other men guilt free. The man became Catholic in "95", prior to his awareness of any actual "dating". She has been very reluctant to have the marriage blessed by a priest. ("Why mess with something that works?", she said) Question is: Is she right?... in the eyes of the church, she is free to "date" as long as the marriage is not blessed by a priest? If you have any questions feel free to ask. Thank You. - Thomas
Thomas: Your Catholic wife is correct only in saying that you are not married in the eyes of the Church. But she is the impediment to you. This is her fault for not wanting to have it blessed. She has refused. Your children, however, are not bastard children. Your children are innocent in this matter and are entirely and legally your children with a legal mother and father with Catholic parents. Dating others as a Christian Catholic wife is wrong in the eyes of the Church. Sadly your wife is reluctant to have your marriage blessed because in doing so, she will not be able to "justify" her adulterous behavior. And because of her sinful behavior, she must not take the Sacrament of Communion. She is committing mortal sin by her actions and she will have to answer to the Lord for it. There are two sides to every story. You must get you wife to accompany you to talk with your parish priest. Tell him everything that is happening in your marriage. The priest will determine if your wife wants to be free from this marriage or if you can salvage it, not only for you and your wife but for the sake of the children. He will give you insight on seeking counsel to help repair the marriage. Do not delay. May God bless you and your family. May He give you the courage to move forward with your faith in Him. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Recently we celebrated the Bishops Mass at my school. During preparations for the event I had asked the School Chaplain if I could receive a blessing since I am not confirmed Catholic, and he said yes and assuming he understood what I meant I walked up the aisle to receive a blessing with my arms crossed but to my surprise he handed me the host...confused I received Him and I had to endure scorn and ridicule from some Catholics and students in general. I saw a Sister about it and she told me that I did nothing wrong as this was not intentional and it was miscommunication between me and the priest but still I feel heavy and burdened. - Karabo Dear Karabo: Do not allow this to linger in your heart. You are not at fault in this case. The Sister was right. Our God Who reads the heart knows that you did not intend what happened. Move pass this and don't let it hamper your faith. May the Lord bless you and give you peace. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am a newly engaged woman and my fiancé and I have been wondering about domestic discipline. Does the church condone spanking one's wife to correct sinful behavior and teach humility? - Amy
Amy: The Church does not condone spanking one's wife. In any situation where one spouse is sinning, the other sits down to discuss the situation as calmly as possible. Both parties are grown people. If a man and woman plan to marry, spanking to teach a lesson is expressly forbidden. Such behavior could lead to abuse. There is no such thing as domestic discipline between two mature adults. See your parish priest to affirm this. If you fiancé is discussing
such things, be wary of him. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I live in Japan and there is only one priest in my area. Sometimes he forgives everyone's sins at church without them actually confessing. Is this valid? If not, am I obligated to talk to him about it or just personally go to confession? - Rachel
Rachel: I can understand the demands of only one priest in your area who cannot afford the time to hear each confession individually. I am also thinking that since the majority of laity accept this joint confession, perhaps you could arrange to have this priest hear your confession privately. Perhaps immediately after mass. I hope you will be able to arrange this. Just remember, you can talk to God and confess your sins through prayer. Tell our heavenly Father of your sorrow at sinning, promising to repent of your sins. Thank Him for His mercy. Jesus told us in John 16:23 " Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, He will give it you". Try to talk to your priest.
If you fail, try again. May the Lord bless you.
- CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Could you please pray for me a lot for my health to get better? Maybe this way God will hear your prayers and my prayers. I've been feeling really dizzy for months. I need to feel better to be able to work and do my college studies. Thank you. - Jennifer Jennifer: I am troubled that you are being plagued with dizziness and I sincerely hope you have consulted your doctor and are taking his prescribed medication to relieve this problem. This is my prayer for you: "Dear God in heaven, I come before you humbly asking that You lay Your healing hand on Jennifer who is struggling with a serious health issue. We ask that in Your Mercy and Your Supreme Love, You will come to her aid during her time of crisis. Send your angels to be at her side, to minister, comfort and strengthen her during this time. Take away her dizziness so that she will be free to go forth with her studies and her work. Lord, Your Son has told us that whatever we ask for, to use his Almighty Name, and You will supply our needs. I asking that you send this healing for Jennifer through the Holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen." Jennifer, know always that
the God has heard your prayers, and according to His will, He will
give you the healing to carry on with your studies and your work.
Peace be with you.
- CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Is it a sin to masturbate? I am single and have no relationships, I don't have any bad habits. Is it ok to commit a small sin in order to stop myself from doing a bigger sin? Please guide me. If I am married then what I do no longer remains a sin ? The devil knows that I can't be tempted in other ways, so he's using my body against me. Please give me an answer. - Ajay Ajay: We receive many letters such as yours. Please read our article on masturbation: masturbation May2007 . I think you will find your answer there. May the Lord guide you during this time. God bless.
- CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff:
A young friend of ours committed suicide. She came from a very religious Catholic family. I think she was wearing a scapular when she hung herself. Will she go to hell?
Dear Sofie: It is always a sorrowful time when a young person takes their life. The Catholic Church, in the past, believed that suicide was a free act of Will, and people who committed suicide did so with full mental capacity. Today this is no longer true. Through medical progress over the years, it has been proven that those who commit suicide have gone through an agonizing, emotional, physical, and mental pain that we cannot understand or imagine, and it obscures that person's judgment and decision making, causing the mind to overshadow and block out the normal instinct for survival. It does not allow our free will to function. Therefore, depending on this unique situation, the Church does not see ALL suicides as an eternity in hell. Keep in mind that God, in His abundant love and grace sees the person's anguish and the inability to survive because of this disablement of senses. And thankfully, God can read that person's heart and sees everything leading to this sad choice, hence some people who commit suicide do so outside of their free will and are not culpable of sin. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Through counseling I have discovered my mother fits the description of having narcissistic personality disorder. As a widowed mom of 3 kids I have had to cut ties with her. I feel too vulnerable to stand with her around as she constantly picks and criticizes myself and now my middle child...her new target. How do I love and honor a mother like her and is it wrong to cut her off? - Lynn Dear Lynn: I am sorry to hear that your mother has a personality disorder that is affecting not only you but your daughter. Can you get help for her through a counselor in some form? If at all possible, keep your visits short. Be nice but firm, telling her that you cannot tolerate her criticizing your daughter, and if it does not stop, you will not allow her to visit. But always remember, she is your mother. You must pray for her. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have heard conflicting answers to this. Do I have to be married in a church for it to be recognized by the Catholic Church? Additionally, what is the Churches modern day views on a Catholic marrying a non-catholic? Thanks! - Nick
Nick: Are you referring to a
Catholic wedding outdoors? Catholics must marry in the church if it
is to be recognized as a sacrament.
Both partners do not have to be a Catholic in order to be married
there.
- CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have a question. I wonder which quote is the right of "in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit" ? I have seen many different spellings, and I wonder which is right? - Madelin
Dear Madalin: The translations can be different depending on which bible you use. For instance, the King James version reads, "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. The Douay Rheims (Catholic) is also written this same way and is found in Matthew 28:19 "Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. The New American Standard Bible reads, "Go therefore and (make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit", not repeating the word "of". They all point to the Trinitarian Formula. (Trinity) "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit" is used in most churches together with baptism, and is used in other prayers, rites, liturgies, and sacraments. One of its most common uses apart from baptism is when Catholics, as well as Eastern Orthodox Christians, Anglicans, Lutherans, Methodists, and others make the Sign of the Cross while reciting the formula. Hope this helps. - - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Where can I find a list of what all the initials of the religious orders mean such as S.J? - Carol
Carol: Thank you for writing. You
can find most abbreviations at the following link:
CatholicView Staff: Does God have room in his heart for a sinner? I have been learning more Catholic faith but I have done so many bad things that I'm afraid He will never forgive. - Marianna
Marianna: You have taken the first step toward forgiveness by writing to CatholicView. God has so much love to give and He certainly includes you. We are all sinners. The good thing is that God, in His mercy for us, sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for us, to save us from our sinful nature if we accept and believe in Him. Jesus Christ waits for you right now with open arms, waiting to forgive you of all your sins. All you have to do is take that forgiveness through prayer, promising that you will avoid your sins and repent of them. You are uniquely special to our loving God. Will you please say this simple prayer below? "Lord, I have done so many things that I now know were wrong. But I ask You to have mercy on me and forgive me, for I am so sorry. I truly want to live for you. I promise to give my life to You and avoid all my past sin. I ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen" Please see a priest in your area and talk to Him. He will encourage you and invite you to attend R.C.I.A. (Rite of Christian Initiation For Adults) to get you started on the road to becoming a member of the Church. We welcome you. May the Lord give you courage and strength to move forward. God bless. - - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have a question I always wondered about. Since God knows all things and even knows things in the future. When creating Lucifer the fallen Angel, why was he created when it turned out he rebelled against God and would be responsible for all the evil in the world? - Gene
Gene: Interesting question. You see, when God created the angels, He gave them Free Will as He gave each of us. Lucifer chose to rebel and wanted to be like God Himself. He was thrown out of heaven and today he roams the earth seeking to gain souls for himself in hell. The beautiful thing is we, as Christians, have chosen to use our Free Will to follow God. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My son, who is now 30 was raised Catholic and is now agnostic...he is to marry a Jewish girl in, I believe a Jewish ceremony. Am I as a practicing Catholic allowed to attend the wedding and reception? I do not want to be divisive...thank you. - James
James: Yes, you are indeed allowed
to attend your son's wedding. There is no sin in that. You love
your son. Please pray that he comes to faith and realizes how much
God loves him too. - -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: If God is so great, loving, caring, fair and generous, then why does he take the lives of those who are innocent and have small children who are still dependent on them instead of taking the lives of sinners? P.S., Please don't answering say its God's will or everything has a meaning. - Nagui
Nagui: This is a partial answer that Father Bill gave in the February issue of CatholicView's "Ask a Priest" which I hope will answer your question. See it in its entirety at this link: February2010 "Ask a Priest" "I admire your empathy. You obviously take upon yourself the pains of others. Such empathy is both a gift and a burden. It is a gift because you are a compassionate presence in the lives of others, but it is a burden in that such empathy casts a shadow over your joy. We don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but they do. We don’t know why a young mother dies of breast cancer or a young father dies in a car accident coming home from work. It sucks…it really does, and we feel helpless and more than a little angry. Personally, I don’t think that God does these things. I think they just happen, and God weeps with us when they do…but that’s just me. Others would disagree. So much really comes down to our mortality and how we perceive that inevitable aspect of human life. We will all die. Is death really a tragedy? Not, I suspect, if we have embraced life. You can’t change the fact that others are suffering and you are not. I wonder if I can be bold enough to tell you to embrace the life you have. It is a gift from God that holds great potential. Thank God every day for your blessings. Pray the Morning Offering. Pray the Serenity Prayer. Pray the Lord’s Prayer…”thy will be done”…and leave what you can’t control in the hands of God." – Father Bill Please keep the faith knowing that someday God will explain it all
to us. Hope Father Bill’s answer helps a bit.–
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I'm 27 and about a year ago mutually ended an engagement due to too much fighting. We are both Catholic. I love him very much. I realize now our mistakes and want to reconcile with the hope of getting married, but he seems distant. Since then, I've been consumed with wanting to do God's will. Sometimes I feel that God wants me to be a nun but I'm not sure, however, it saddens me because I now more than ever want a family. I don't want to upset God, but I don't feel happiness towards the will of a nun's life. Will God be upset if I get married one day? What should I do?
Christine: When God calls people to give their lives to Him, it becomes something that transcends all other choices. This does not appear to be true in your case. Please be mindful that getting married is a calling too. And a very important sacrament in the eyes of the Lord. And remember God wants you to be happy. I suggest you sit down with your parish priest and give him the details you have not included here on why you think the Lord is calling you to be a nun. Know that God has a plan for you. I can't know what it is, but you can pray and ask Him to show you the direction He wants you to take. Just as you knew and realized your mistakes of the past with your fiancé, you will know with a certainty what God's plans are for your life through prayer. Please talk to your parish priest about this. May the Lord bless whatever choice you make and give you the peace that only He can give. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: From where does Christianity (not just Catholicism, as my understanding is that this idea is common to all of Christianity) derive its doctrine that the default human condition is to be damned (to what, exactly?), and that God's grace (through merit, or faith, etc.) is necessary to redeem a human being from this damnation. Thank you very much for your assistance! - Jason
Jason: Our doctrines come from the word of God, which is the bible. If you read it with prayer, it will give you the understanding of anything you are undergoing and have suffered through. It is a doctrine that is fortified by the Holy Spirit should we choose to believe in it. This is called faith, and faith in the bible tells us that "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1. Catholic Answer (see link
below) reads: "There are two kinds of grace, sanctifying and
actual. Sanctifying grace is different from actual grace.
Sanctifying grace stays in the soul. It’s what makes the soul holy;
it gives the soul supernatural life. More properly, it is
supernatural life. Because God is a loving God, and as long as we have life, we can be redeemed. That salvation is always available to us as long as we are alive and choose to follow Jesus Christ and His teachings. We receive salvation by God's Grace. And Jesus Christ paid for all sin by His death and resurrection. Without His sacrifice, we would not be able to not enter God's perfect heaven with sin on our souls. Jason, the necessary doctrines are: Belief in one God, the Trinity (God who exists in three persons: The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.), the deity of Jesus Christ Who died to give us salvation, salvation by Grace, the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, and the inspired word of God which is the bible. The Bible itself reveals the doctrines that are essential to all Christian faiths and there are many more, but those written above are absolutely crucial. God gave us Free Will to either accept or reject the salvation God's Son, Jesus, attained for us. If we accept through faith that He gave us salvation we will be saved. Damnation happens when we turn our backs on God purposely and go our own way using our Free Will. Though there
are many other essential doctrines in the bible, these are the ones
that are declared by Scripture to be vital to salvation. Hope this
helps you in your quest for knowledge. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I met back up with a woman who I've known since I was 5 years old, a little over a year ago while I was working in a hospital. We were friends in elementary school. We started talking, and soon became intimate together. She got pregnant and had our baby recently. Since then, She has told me nothing but lies about herself, and at one point very early in her pregnancy, she told me the baby wasn't mine when I requested a paternity test, due to suspicions that I won't go into. I believed her lie thinking that she cheated on me. A few days before she gave birth, she called me to tell me the baby was indeed mine, and that she would finally give me a paternity test. We got the test and it turns out the baby is mine. I want to have a part in my son's life and help her out financially, but I don't trust this woman enough to marry her due to the fountain of lies that I've caught her in. Am I doing the right thing by not marrying her? Or am I obligated to do so due to this child? - Brandon
Brandon: I am sorry that you are in a state of indecision concerning the mother of your child. We sometimes find ourselves in situations that will take a lifetime to untangle. That being said, my advice to you would be that unless you are truly convinced you do not want to marry this woman, and you do not love her, you should not make any marital plans. Because of your lovely new baby, it is apparent that you are trying to do the right thing even though you do not love the mother. But, fulfilling the obligation by marrying this lady may not be in God's plans for you. Nonetheless, I am sure whatever you decide, you will be a good father, tending to that child's financial needs, and giving time to the growing up years. It sounds as if you will be faithful to these obligations. Please rest assured that God in His mercy will take care of the mother and the child. And you must do your part as a parent. May the Lord bless you, your baby, and the mother. You must talk to a priest about your situation. He will ask details that you have not covered here. Please make an appointment to see him as soon as possible. - CatholicView Staff
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