ASK A PRIEST
FEBRUARY 2010


FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF



FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL

“My husband and I are carriers of a genetic disorder
(SMA).  Can we donate our affected embryos to help
others?” - Jill

Father Bill:

My husband and I are carriers of a genetic disorder (SMA).  We found this out after the birth of our first son.  He recently passed away at 6 months old.  Our future potential children would have a 25% chance of having SMA and would not live past 6 months as well. It was horrible, and without my faith I would not have gotten through this.  Meeting with our genetic counselor we were introduced to a procedure called PGD, or pre genetic diagnosis.  Basically, they test our embryos and only implant the ones that do not have the disease.  The "affected" embryos are then donated to research to help find a cure or treatment for this horrible disease. I am a firm believer that life begins from the moment of conception and will implant all unaffected embryos to give them a chance at life.  Is it morally wrong to donate the affected embryos to potentially help others through research?  I am a truly confused Catholic and need some guidance. My family (also Catholic) thinks this procedure is good and the donation of the affected embryos is noble in trying to help find a cure.  Please help. Like others on your site I have encountered priests who are unaware of scientific advances and I don’t know where else to turn.  Thank you for your help. - Jill

Dear Jill:

My heart goes out to you and your husband—and the rest of your family.  I was ten when my little sister Mary Sue died of leukemia at age three months.  My parents and grandparents bore heavy hearts, and I remember talking to my dad several years later as he wondered why God let that happen.  I had no answer, and he knew that, but still the question lingered in his heart.  Losing a precious child is a loss that only a parent can fully understand.

To be honest, your question is an extremely difficult one for me to try to answer.  I’ve been avoiding it for several days.   It’s difficult because I’m not an expert in the field of Catholic bioethics.  It’s difficult because I know that you want to do what is right.   It’s difficult because, in this case, what is right according to the Church’s teachings flies in the face of what many people would think is right.

But first here’s some background for the sake of others who will read this response.  Spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) is the leading genetic killer of children under the age of two.  It kills by destroying the nerves controlling voluntary muscle movement, which affects crawling, walking, head and neck control, and even swallowing.  However, SMA is a generic label, and not all forms are fatal.  Many adults with SMA live relatively normal lives.

The manifestation of SMA for which you and your husband are carriers is probably the one known as Werdnig-Hoffman disease.  It almost always causes death before age 2.  As you noted in your question, there is a 1 in 4 chance that your children will have the disease.  There is also a 2 in 4 chance that they will not have the disease but will be carriers, and a 1 in 4 chance that they will neither have the disease nor be carriers.  Clearly, from a genetic perspective, these are not good odds.  I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it must be for couples like you who must grapple with the real-life implications of such genetic cruelties.

I have to admit that Church’s teachings with regard to the options you and your husband are considering do not provide much comfort or reassurance.  As you mentioned in your question, you believe—and the  Church teaches—that life begins at conception. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC), this means that a human embryo must be treated as a person, so you cannot do anything to an embryo that you could not do to another human being.  (See CCC, paragraphs 2274 and 2275.) The Catechism goes on to say that it is allowable to diagnose and treat embryos, as long as the risks are reasonable and the intention is to save life, not abort it.

Catholic moral theologians and bioethicists have delved deeply into the moral and scientific issues that surround the earliest stages of human life. It is the firm teaching of the Catholic Church that in vitro fertilization (IVF) is morally wrong.  I know that most Catholics are not aware of this. I also know that, aware or not, many Catholics have availed themselves of this procedure in order to conceive a child.  Since the options you outline in your question bear all the earmarks of IVF (further complicated by embryonic experimentation that would likely cause the death of some embryos), those options are clearly contrary to the Church’s teachings.

I did a lot of research about your question, and I have done the best I could to condense and simplify what I found. The bioethical complexities that modern science has created truly begin to boggle the mind.   It is important to remember that scientific advances, noble as they may sometimes appear, do not necessarily translate into good moral choices.

As Catholics, you and your husband are left with a very difficult moral dilemma. You very much want to have children, yet the genetic risks are great.  In some ways your dilemma is similar to that of an infertile couple who cannot have children and are considering IVF or surrogate parenthood.  What the Catechism says in addressing this would seem to me to apply equally to couples who face what you face:

A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception." (CCC, paragraph 2378)

To many this will sound coldly inhuman on the part of the Church. To others it will simply affirm the profound respect the Catholic Church holds for maintaining the direct relationship between sexual intercourse in marriage and the procreation of children.

If you are to follow the teachings of the Church, it seems to me you have only three options: 1) choose not to conceive; 2) choose to conceive and accept the genetic risks; 3) if you want children but cannot accept the risks, choose to adopt.

My heart is heavy as I conclude my answer, because I think that you wanted me to affirm the plan suggested by your genetic counselor. That I cannot do, but pray for you I can.  May God guide you as you make your way through the difficult decisions that lie ahead.

Finally, the National Catholic Bioethics Center has an excellent web site with very good search capability.   You can find it here:  http://ncbcenter.org/  - Father Bill


“Scott Roeder murdered a doctor known for late
term abortions.  Is Roeder’s act justified?”
- John

Father Bill:

Dr. Tiller was well known for performing late-term abortions.  He was murdered in his church by Scott Roeder, who has no regrets, saying he deliberately killed Dr. Tiller to stop him from murdering more babies.  The Catholic bishops of Kansas and others immediately condemned Roeder’s act of violence.  Why isn’t Roeder’s violent act justified?    How is this different from a policeman who shoots and kills a madman holding children hostage? (I assure you I'm merely trying to understand the logic.) – John

Dear John:

Thanks for your question. I’m sure that there are many others who are wondering the same thing but are afraid to ask.  It’s the kind of question that can make the one who asks it sound like a fanatic, even though the actual intent is simply to understand the logic.

Scott Roeder’s act is not justified because it is murder.  If it is justifiable for him to murder Dr. Tiller, then any vengeful act of murder could be justified, and the rule of law would crumble into unimaginable chaos.

A policeman who shoots and kills a madman holding children hostage does so reluctantly, as a last resort, and within the rule of law.  A woman under attack who pulls a gun and kills her attacker is making a measured response to a random act of violence.  She is not deliberating; she is only defending.

There is a section in the Catechism of the Catholic Church that deals with legitimate defense (see especially CCC paragraphs 2263-2265). Paragraph 2263 quotes St. Thomas Aquinas: “The act of self-defense can have a double effect: the preservation of one's own life; and the killing of the aggressor. The one is intended, the other is not.”  Scott Roeder directly intended Dr. Tiller’s death; it was not an unintended consequence of a legitimate act of defense of life.   It was murder, premeditated and carried out with cold-blooded precision.   There is nothing in Catholic moral teachings that would support such an act.

The sad thing is that there are no doubt many who call themselves pro-life who, even recognizing the immorality of Roeder’s senseless killing, secretly applaud the death of Dr. Tiller.  It’s a cliché, but one worth repeating here: two wrongs don’t make a right.

Again, thanks for your question, John.  Let us pray for an end to all the world’s murderous violence, including violence against the unborn.   May God bless you.  Father Bill


“Is it proper for an EME to “bless” the children when
they come with their parents for communion?” - Don

Father Bill:

I am an EME (Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist).    I like to bless the children as they come with their parents...looking for something that you have for them...as well.  I bless each child quietly by making a cross over them with host in hand, asking Christ to bless them.  My pastor, editor of the diocesan paper, has refused me that simple prayer practice.  A Bishop friend told me that I could do that and that it was commendable.  'Any baptized person can bless...it is simply a calling down of God's goodness.'  Pastor says 'No....only priests and deacons can bless.'  What do you think?  - Don B

Dear Don:

What do I think? I think it’s probably best for you to honor your pastor’s policy. If it is his preference that EMEs do not give blessings, so be it. He has that right.

However, I agree with your bishop friend that any baptized person can call down God’s goodness.  I have no problem calling that a blessing, so long as we don’t understand it as a liturgical act.  Parents can bless their children (and I wish more would do so), and an EME can bless a child or someone who is in the communion procession but has chosen not to receive the Eucharist.

I encourage the EMEs in my parish to do that—but I completely understand and respect the prerogatives of pastors who have instructed their EMEs otherwise.  There is room in our Holy Catholic Church for disagreement in the non-essentials, and may God help all of us to teach, to believe and to live what is essential.

One last thought: if an EME is going to give blessings to those not receiving communion, I don’t think it’s a good idea to do so with host in hand.   It would be better to just make it a simple, reverent gesture that conveys a sense of the love that God and the Church have for all of us.   May God bless you.  Father Bill
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM

“I am visually impaired with no nearby Catholic
Churches.  Can I go to a Protestant Church?”
- Machelle

Dear Father Kevin:

I am a young woman who is visually impaired to the point where I cannot have a driver's license. I also live in a very small, remote community that does not have a Catholic Church. I live alone with my grandmother, who also does not drive, and in general have no way of being able to attend the nearest Catholic Church.   It's a very rare thing that I can attend. The only church in my town is Baptist. Is it a greater sin for me to sit in on a protestant service in lieu of any possibility of attending Mass, or for me to miss any service at all?  - Machelle

Dear Machelle:

Thank you for your question.  Jesus once said that wherever two or three of us were gathered in His name, then He would be there too.  I dare say He pays regular visits to the local Baptist Church!  Especially I imagine He'd be keeping a loving eye out for you to make sure you get the spiritual nourishment you need.  I understand how you would miss the Eucharist and our Catholic Liturgy, but if the local Baptists have welcomed you and you are finding some comfort and peace in joining with them, there is no question of any sin involved.  You're simply doing your best to find a place to worship and that's all God asks of us.  Love to you. - Father Kevin


“Every innocent thing I do seems wicked
in my mind.  Can you help me ease my
despair and fears?” - Marie

Dear Father Kevin:

I am in need of help. I thought that accepting my religion again and opening myself to God would help calm me and find peace, but it hasn't. It's brought me so much fear and distress. I try very hard to be good, but I feel that no matter what I do, I'm somehow committing a terrible, horrible sin. I have made myself well-read on sin and mortal sin, and I know most of the things I do in my day are not wicked things, but I'm in such constant anxiety over it.  From watching a sitcom to chatting online, talking to my friend on the phone and making up adventure stories together. Even playing around with my dog, I have this constant feeling of guilt around me any time I find myself having fun, no matter how harmless. I know there are many things I do that are not pleasing to God, such as my habitual swearing, but...I feel that I can't even get out of bed without becoming the most wicked woman on earth. What can I do to help ease my fear and learn to find joy in God rather than despair? - Marie

 

Hello dear Marie:

I'd swear a lot too if I found myself that anxious about everything. I don't really know what to say other than to let your focus be on God's goodness and love rather than on yourself.  Let God look at you with love and then maybe you can do the same too.  Sure, we all sin, we all struggle, and we all battle to be good.  From what you are saying here though, I can't see anything that you are doing that could possibly separate you from God's love as Jesus has revealed it to us.  Listen to the ways in which Jesus cared for people who'd kicked over the traces.  There was the woman at the well who'd had five husbands and was living with another man.  There was Zaccheus who'd ripped off the half the town.  There was the woman who cried all over his feet who was known to be "A sinner in the town."  What does Jesus do?  He listens, and loves them into life, nothing more nothing less. He always sought to liberate people and make them glad and he still does.  Give him a chance, and perhaps spend less time worrying about yourself, and spend some time focusing on his love and goodness and then you'll be able to share some of that love around rather than the spirit of anxiety that seems to have hold of you at the moment.  Every blessing. - Father Kevin


“Is being wealthy bad or sinful?” - Mark

Father Kevin:

Lately I have struggled with Luke's version of the Beatitudes. Especially "woe to you who are rich..." Are we to understand from this that being wealthy is bad? Elsewhere in the bible, wealth is clearly a sign of God's favor. I fear that by living a North American lifestyle (with TV, comfortable home and vacations) Jesus is saying "woe" to me. If I am tithing to those who are less fortunate and do my best to volunteer and make the world a better place, is that enough?  Am I allowed to enjoy the financial fruits of my labor guilt-free? (Note: I am by no means wealthy by Western world standards, but how many of us are NOT wealthy when compared with the starving and impoverished of other nations?)" - Mark

 

Hi Mark:

I'd relax a bit on this one and keep fine-tuning my conscience to make sure I am sharing what I have to the best of my ability.   Some of the fundamentalist Churches feed off this notion that wealth is a sign of God's approval and so they encourage people to seek wealth so that they will be living signs of God's favor!  It's a bit like a religious version of Amway!!  Like you, I often question myself given the relatively comfortable life I enjoy too.  The "Woe to the rich" declaration of Jesus is a challenging one to all of us.  When you get inside the skin of the text, it really is targeting people for whom riches are everything, for whom riches are their goal in life and for whom nothing else matters other than their possessions and their wealth.  Having said that of course, our world is in dire straits when it comes to the unequal distribution of the world's resources.  The recent events in Haiti have highlighted this again for us all. 

No one of us can resolve this inequality, and as a global community we probably never will, human nature being what it is.   However, if I treat my possessions and whatever wealth I have as gifts, and as something to be enjoyed and shared as much as possible, then I don't think Jesus would have too many problems with that.  His encounter with Zacchaeus (Luke 19), provides a good clue for us.   I'm sure Zacchaeus was still wealthy enough after his dinner party with Jesus, but it was his change of heart, his change of perspective that put him truly in God's grace.    He did make restitution for all the injustices he'd perpetrated, but I bet he still lived a comfortable enough life as well once the dust had settled!!  All good wishes and blessings to you. – Father Kevin

 
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
  
 “Can Catholics be cremated?”   - Debbie

CatholicView Staff:

Can Catholics be cremated?  I ask this because on the last days we will go "body and soul" to heaven. If cremated, there is no longer a body. - Debbie

Debbie:

Yes, Catholics can be cremated.  Father Pete Polando, pastor of St. Matthais Parish in Youngstown, Ohio was quoted as saying in Catholic Culture, “ The Church earnestly recommends the pious custom of burial be retained; but it does not forbid cremation, unless this is chosen for reasons which are contrary to Christian teaching,” This is the latest Catechism update on the subject. To be sure, this rule is a stark contrast to previous church laws that strictly prohibited cremation for centuries.  But “the Church has never been against cremation as such, but discouraged it because of the reasons people used to justify it.”

Catholic law now allows cremations, but only if the ashes are not to be scattered. This is in keeping with the original idea – long since abandoned formally – that a body cannot be resurrected if it is not intact.

In general, modern Catholic teaching has absolutely no objection to cremation, and in fact, many scholars say it is preferable to traditional burial because it actually speeds up the process by which a body returns to its eternal state – ashes. Modern Catholic leaders also cite cremation as a good moral choice because it can be more environmentally sound than a traditional burial – which could require that a large metal casket be, indestructibly, in the ground for centuries.
 

The soul is eternal.  A person who is buried or cremated will be re-united with the soul when Christ comes again.  Remember, nothing is impossible with God.

The Church teaches that the cremated remains of the body be buried or entombed and receive the "Rite of Committal." Scattering the remains, keeping them at home, or dividing them among various family members is not the reverent disposition that the Church requires.  Hope this helps.   – CatholicView Staff


“My Muslim boyfriend is English and Iranian but believes
what I believe in.  How can I tell my parents about
him?” - Sandy

Hello:

My name is Sandy and I have met a man since starting university. He grew up in England his whole life and he is half English half Iranian.  He read the bible growing up and went to Catholic schools and his family celebrates Christmas too.  The only problem is that he is Muslim on paper but he believes in everything I believe in.  I've met his family and they are very kind.  I just need to tell my father and I don’t know how to.   Please help.

Thank you a lot for your time.

 

Dear Sandy:

Do not be afraid to talk to your parents because they love you and want the best for you. 

The good thing is that your boyfriend does know your faith.  There are a few things you did not mention that are very important.  Does your boyfriend believe in Jesus and has he been baptized?   These are the things that can come between two people who are religiously different.  The problem is whether being Muslim will cause multiple problems such as if you marry, will he want his children to be Catholic or Muslim.  And will he continue to support you in your faith?  These are bigger than you think. 

Remember that what seems ideal now can change later.  Consider the risks.  If you feel confident that you truly can be happy without jeopardizing your own belief in Jesus Christ and your Church, then move forward.  I must suggest that you pray about this relationship before it gets so strong that you cannot see the terrible pitfalls that may lie ahead for you.  Please listen to your parents and always consider that you do not ever want to lose your relationship with your Savior.  This life is fleeting but eternity is forever.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“When I was 14 years old I may have sold my soul to
satan and this is destroying me.  Please help?” - Nat

CatholicView Staff:

I believe that possibly when I was 14 years old I may have sold my soul for my teacher to die as he was dead a few days after I said this.   I'm now 22 and this is destroying me.  Please help.   - Nat

 

Dear Nat:

At fourteen years of age you were not mature and certainly not old enough to sell your soul.  That your teacher died does not mean you were equipped to terminate a human life. 

Assuming for a moment it would be possible to sell one’s soul, the Christian's soul has already been bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ.  It is not for sale as it has already been bought and paid for by Jesus.

Selling one’s soul means that, as an adult, you are living a lifestyle that is not Christian and you may lose eternity by going your own way, thus losing faith and salvation in the process.  Or some non-Christians may choose to follow satan in hopes of some earthly reward but the Bible says we are all satan's children until we are redeemed by Christ.  

Because of your immaturity and age, you may have said in a moment of turmoil that you wished that person would die.  You are not in control of causing another to die by immature thoughts.  Only God has the power to take a life.   

You did not sell your soul.  Move forward in the mighty name of Christ.  You soul is safe in the hands of God through your acceptance of His Son Who paid for your salvation.  Go in peace to continue on God's path.  – CatholicView Staff.  –

 
“A Black friend of my son gave me a kiss of gratitude
on the cheek and my husband disapproved.  Should I
become prejudiced like him? - Mary 

CatholicView Staff:

Should I act prejudiced because it bothers my husband if I'm friendly to blacks? A black friend of my son gave me a kiss of gratitude on the cheek for the rehearsal dinner my husband and I provided. My husband insists I should not have allowed it because it bothered him.  - Mary

 

Dear Mary:

We are all God’s children and you did nothing wrong.  God tells us to love our brothers and sisters no matter what their race.  It is the Christian thing to do.  Color means nothing to God because He loves each and every person the same.  We are all His created children.  None is better than the other to the Heavenly Father.  Your husband must be very careful since all races will be sharing eternity forever. 

Galatians 3:27-29 reads, “And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.” 

May the Lord open your husband's heart.  Hope this helps.  God bless you. -  CatholicView Staff

 
“My baby died and I am losing my faith.  How
can I find my way back?” Susan

CatholicView Staff:

I recently lost my six-month old child.  I am losing my faith in our Lord.  I have not been to church since.   How can I find my way back and forgive?  - Susan

 

Dear Susan:

I am so sorry to learn that your precious baby died.  None of us knows why God allows such things to happen.  We only know that someday all things will be made clear to us.  We have to depend on this. 

Don't give up on the Lord.  It is through these miserable times that happen in our lives when we grow strongest in our faith.   Know that God’s mercy and grace will sustain you through all trials.  Someday you will see your daughter in heaven.  This is just one more reason to live in faith.   Don’t give up.  Pray and hang onto what God promises; that is He will never leave you to suffer alone.   He is your only hope for the future. 

Although we live in this imperfect world where sadness, pain and suffering exists, one day this will be no longer be true.  In God’s kingdom there will be no more dying, no more hurt or suffering, and you will see your precious little one in total health and happiness. 

Your child waits for you.  You will see your baby again.  I pray that you continue to believe in the mercy of God.  Keep your faith.  – CatholicView Staff.

 
“My bride of four months left me because I lost my
job. What is my next move?” - Jaime

CatholicView Staff:

My wife left me recently and is getting ready to file for divorce or annul the Marriage. We married Catholic. I have had several conversations with her about what caused her to leave. She has repeated time after time that she couldn't sit and watch me waste away anymore. I had been working in my friends tile company and all of a sudden work got extremely slow and I now sit here writing this question. I am willing to try to mend things up, but if she doesn't want to what options would I have as far is the church is concerned? We have only been married for 4 months and I haven't been able to find work for 2 months. What should be my next move?  Thank you  - Jaime

 

Dear Jaime:

I am so sorry that your wife left you because you lost you job.  I am wondering why a bride of four months would leave her husband if he cannot find work, especially after only two months of trying.  We need to hear her side before giving an adequate answer.    

This is a very serious matter.  You will want to sit down and discuss details with your parish priest. 

A wife promises to be with her husband during the rough patches in life.  If your wife does not love and support you during this crisis, it is best that you find out now.  Consult your priest.  Tell him everything that you have not included here so he can advise you what you should do.  May the Lord bless and strengthen you during this stressful time.  – CatholicView Staff


“ I have arachnoiditis and take Oxycontin
and Vicodin.  Does God view this as sinful?”
– C.C.

Catholicview Staff:

I have a rare intractable pain disorder called arachnoiditis which is incurable and has no treatment other than pain killers such as Oxycontin and Vicodin.  I am very ambivalent about taking these as I must have the pain relief so that I may work and be independent however they produce a euphoria.  My concern comes from the passage in the bible that says "do not be deceived as neither drunkards or idolators will enter the kingdom of heaven."  As long as I only take these medications as prescribed and do not abuse them, will I stay in God's grace?  Thank you. - C.C.

 

Dear C.C. :

I am saddened that you are suffering with Arachnoiditis.  God already understands that you are suffering with a neuropathic disease and sees the struggles you have maintaining your health.  As long as you follow your doctor’s orders with the prescribed medication, this is all you can do.  You are not abusing yourself and God knows this.

CatholicView commends you on faithfully reading your bible.  God is a loving God.  It is by His grace that you can work in spite of your condition.  Keep moving forward in your love for Him, knowing that He is guiding you all the way.  Many blessings to you. – CatholicView Staff.


“Can I be saved outside the Church?” - Lou

 

CatholicView Staff:

Can a non Catholic ( or fallen away Catholic) still gain salvation outside the Church? - Lou

 

Dear Lou:

In John 6:47 Jesus says “Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.”   If you believe in God, accept and follow Jesus Christ as your Savior, and live as He taught us in all ways, you can be saved. – CatholicView Staff


“Can a Catholic refuse medical treatment such
as chemotherapy, radiation, etc.? - Bill

CatholicView Staff:

I am seventy-one years old.   I do not have any financial obligations to my children or to anyone else.  If I am diagnosed with cancer, may I refuse treatment such as chemotherapy, radiation, and/or surgery? - Bill

Bill:

I am going to refer you to two online links that speak on the issue of refusing specific medical help.   This answer can be read in full by going to the links provided here. 

Today’s Catholic writes in part, “Many Catholics still need to learn about the church’s teachings on end-of-life issues, such as when it might be morally acceptable to reject or terminate life-prolonging treatments. While euthanasia and assisted suicide are always wrong, in some situations the terminally ill or dying can withdraw or refuse treatment and still be in line with church teaching.”
http://www.satodayscatholic.com/101008_endlife.aspx 

U.S. Catholic “Can one refuse medical treatment and still be a good Catholic?  The bishops of the United States have answered this question in a document called Ethical and Religious Directives for Catholic Health Care Services, last revised in 2001: "The use of life-sustaining technology is judged in light of the Christian meaning of life, suffering, and death. Only in this way are two extremes avoided: on the one hand, an insistence on useless or burdensome technology . . . [and] the withdrawal of technology with the intention of causing death."-

http://www.uscatholic.org/glad-you-asked/2008/07/
can-a-catholic-refuse-medical-care )   

The Catholic tradition understands that life is a value that must be protected, but biological life in itself is not an absolute. This tradition is best seen as a middle ground between euthanasia on the one extreme and what is often called "medical vitalism"-using medical technology that merely extends biological life precariously for a time-on the other.

The church's traditional teaching carefully distinguishes between ordinary and extraordinary, or proportionate and disproportionate, care. It does not prescribe a hard-and-fast rule regarding specific medical procedures but urges prudent decisions regarding the benefits and burdens of a particular medical treatment for a particular patient.

In Ethical and Religious Directives, the U.S. bishops explain that "a person may forgo extraordinary or disproportionate means of preserving life. Disproportionate means are those that in the patient's judgment do not offer a reasonable hope of benefit [a state of relative health or comfort] or entail an excessive burden or impose excessive expense on the family or the community."

In Ethical and Religious Directives, the U.S. bishops explain that "a person may forgo extraordinary or disproportionate means of preserving life. Disproportionate means are those that in the patient's judgment do not offer a reasonable hope of benefit [a state of relative health or comfort] or entail an excessive burden or impose excessive expense on the family or the community."

Even with these definitions in mind, it is clear that end-of-life decision-making within the Catholic tradition will never be exact. The middle ground is dynamic rather than static. Nevertheless, it helps to ask how medical treatments benefit or burden a dying patient. In raising this question the tradition does not deny the good of technology or claim that some lives are not worth preserving. Rather, it calls us to accept the fact that medical technology has limits. Accepting those limits can help Catholics make end-of-life decisions with some confidence.

Hope this helps a bit.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“Because of her grandmother, my friend is terrified
of God.  How can I help her?” - Kallen

CatholicView Staff:

My best friend and I have both started to wonder about God recently, and my question today is about her.

She is non-denominational Protestant and her family never really been to church, but still wants to be Christian. However, just as she was begining to look into God, she went to live with her grandmother, who is a well meaning but frightening woman who proclaims hell on the world, and has greatly scared my friend so badly, that any talk of religion, hell, God etc terrifies her.  She comes to me with her fears, but...not only am I no expert on Catholicism, but I don't feel that I am fit to guide her, as she is not Catholic and has no desire to be. I don't know what words to use to console her, aside form the most basic.  I encourage her to pray and look into finding a church, or finding God in her own ways, and I pray for her. Will God hear my prayers? Will he help my friend if she asks for his help? Should I answer her questions with the Catholics answers even though she doesn't believe in them, or keep encouraging her to find the answers that God may lead her to?  I am so sorry this question is so long, but it has been weighing on me so much, and being mostly homebound, I have no one to ask.  Thank you so very much. - Kallen

 

Kallen:

You are a good friend and God is well pleased with you.  Continue praying for your friend.  Ask the Lord to open her heart to truth that Jesus Christ is the ONLY way we can enter the kingdom of heaven.  Her denomination may be different but our Lord is the same and she must choose without interference from anyone.  Continue to pray for her and let her see the peace within you.  Remember that old saying, “you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink?”  This is true for us who want to lead others to God. 

Keep in mind your prayers are powerful and God hears each and every one.   Let your friend see in your demeanor and in your actions, the joy you experience in your faith and belief.  But do not force this issue.  You just want to open the door slowly and let God enter. 

If she asks for help, say a simple prayer with her such as, “Lord, calm my friend’s fears. Let her know and understand, through the Holy Spirit dwelling in her, that You love her so much, and that she is precious to You.  We ask this through You Son, Jesus Christ”. 

Remind her that all who believe in Jesus Christ live in joy and assurance during this life, not fear.   Continue to give your friend hope.  She will see your confidence that comes only through the grace of God.  God does not want her to live in fear but in happiness, knowing that He is our protector, our Helper, our eternal Father Who has great plans for her life here and now.  There is nothing scary in loving God and His Son.  Hope this helps.   – CatholicView Staff

 
“I don’t attend Church anymore but I pray and believe. 
Will I be forgiven for all my sins?” - Caren

CatholicView Staff:

I don't go to church anymore, but I pray and believe in God.  Will I be forgiven for all my sins?  I haven’t killed anyone, but I’m sorry for all my other sins?  Will I see my dog in heaven?  - Caren

 

Caren:

I am sorry that you do not attend Church but am happy that you pray and believe in God.  I am also saddened that you do not participate in the mass or not receive the Holy Eucharist. 

Is there a reason that you do not go to church?

God appreciates personal prayers and your devotion.  But attending Church is a gathering of family, of believers; a way of sharing as a Christian family who have a true concern for one another. This is important. 

Quoting from Answers.com “Catholicism is not an individualistic religion, rather it is a social religion. As such, it is fitting for the Christian community to come together to publicly worship God. As well, the Church wishes to provide the Faithful with the sacraments, such as Confession and the Holy Eucharist which are usually provided at Sunday Mass. As well, the Mass is the greatest and most powerful of prayers which gives many graces to those that attend and participate in it.

At the very least, the Church imposes this upon its members in order that people whose natural inclination is to do the very least will have an added incentive to not become lax in their religion. Someone who does not actively participate in their religion will slowly become removed from it, if not abandon its practical application or even beliefs over time due to neglect or distraction. Every human being is required by their nature to render worship and gratitude to God as Creator and Redeemer and the Church sees to it that this obligation is fulfilled by the Faithful in a timely and consistant manner.

God does forgive us if we are truly repentant and promise not to repeat our sins.  Pray and ask God to forgive you for whatever you have done.  During these sacred days of Lent, give the Lord an hour of your time by attending mass.  May the Lord bless you. – CatholicView Staff 

 
“I cautioned my son not to live with his girl friend
but can you explain God’s view of this?” - Mary  

CatholicView Staff:

I cautioned my son NOT to cohabitate with his fiancé prior to his wedding in about a year.  She has moved in with him now.  A Catholic Deacon advised me NOT to socialize with them as a couple until marriage to avoid the appearance that their behavior is acceptable.  I can accept this advice, but would like help from you to explain why this is God's view. - Mary

 

Dear Mary:

I am so sorry that you son has decided to go against biblical teaching.  Here are some passages in the bible which speaks of this issue.  In Matthew 15:19-20 ”For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. These are what defile you.   And again in Mark 7:21-22:  ”For from within, out of a person’s heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder,   adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.  Revelation 21:08:  “But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshipers, and all liars—their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur…..”

Let me quote what Catholic Culture.org says on Church teaching:  “All of us need to remember that there are things in life which are holy; things are made by God to be beautiful and good. These things reflect God's own beauty and goodness. We commonly think of the sacraments or of other holy events within the church in this way. Yet we must also understand that one of the absolutely holy, beautiful and sacred things that God has given to us is our sexuality.

Sex is holy. Sex is sacred. We know that sex is holy because God uses it, joining his divine and creative power to the love of a man and a woman to bring forth new life into the world. No two people ever work so closely, hand in hand with God himself, as when they become co-creators with God and bring forth new life into the world. Although many people are probably not thinking about this at the time when they engage in sexual relations, God is very present in that life-giving act, whether a pregnancy results or not.

Because sex is so sacred and beautiful, God has filled it with meaning. Every act of sexual intercourse is intended by God to express love, commitment and an openness to life. If two people are ever uncertain about whether engaging in sexual activity is the right thing to do, they need to ask themselves if love, commitment and an openness to life are present in the relationship. Sexual activity is a gift that we give to another person to whom we have committed our lives. All too frequently sexual activity is seen as the taking from another for one's own pleasure.

Premarital sexual intercourse and cohabitation open the gift, so to speak, before it has been given. Waiting for one's wedding day in order to give the gift of conjugal love, on the other hand, creates a natural yearning which can help engender a greater sense of totality of the gift of self to the one person whom God has chosen from all eternity to share this gift. To give this gift, which is symbolized by the nuptial language of the body in sexual intercourse, in a context any less than the total commitment of spousal love is an affront to its inherent and God-given dignity.

“In marriage preparation, engaged couples are taught that love is not just a feeling. Love is a decision. One must decide every day to love one's spouse, even if the feeling of love may not be very strong at a particular moment. Similarly, in marriage preparation the engaged couples must make decisions. One of those decisions concerns living together. The church extends the invitation to the engaged couple to see that there are many good reasons to not cohabit before their wedding day. As Jesus taught by invitation to follow his teaching and commands, so too, the church teaches by invitation to her sons and daughters to follow the teachings of the church. Ultimately, the engaged couple must make the decision to follow Christ and His church, or to turn and follow their own path.

Through prayer and discernment, the couple must make important decisions. For the engaged couple who are living together, the question must be asked, "Are you willing to separate and to attempt to the best of your ability to live a chaste life as a single person until your wedding day?" If the answer to that question is yes, then the church family welcomes that commitment with joy and happiness. It would be of great spiritual benefit to receive the sacrament of reconciliation. The grace of the sacraments will sustain and strengthen that commitment as the very best preparation for the sacrament of matrimony that the engaged couple can undertake.”

Hope this helps you to understand what God wants from us all.  – CatholicView Staff


“My husband and I have been married forty years civilly. 
Will the Church recognize our marriage?” - Nancy

CatholicView Staff:

I have been going to the RCIA classes at Church  to become Catholic.   My husband and I have been married 40 Years and were married by a Justice of the Peace.  Will I have to be remarried again or does the church recognize our marriage?  This is our only marriage.  Thank you.   Nancy

 

Hello Nancy:

Congratulations on soon becoming a member of our Church Family.  We welcome you.  As this is your only marriage, go to see the priest at your parish to discuss having your marriage blessed by the church.  It can be done privately in the priest’s office or if you prefer it can be a public wedding.  It is a simple matter to do as you have had no prior marriages.

God bless you on your Christian journey.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“There is a parishioner who sits up front and makes
fun of the priest.  What should I do?” - Sheila

CatholicView Staff:

There is an odd parishioner in church who chooses to sit behind the glass up front where the congregation can see him.  During the mass when the Priest is blessing the host, this man clearly makes fun of the Priest. And when he receives the host, he makes an incoherent comment.  Should this man be allowed to continue in his actions? I am sure the Priest is aware of this. - Sheila

 

Shelia:

This is something that you must take up with your Parish Priest.  There may be something here that you do not know about, such as a mental issue and this could be dangerous.  I feel you should make an effort to point out this person’s behavior, perhaps to the deacon of the church.  You can also call the rectory.  As a last resort, call the diocese and report the matter.  Hope this helps. – CatholicView Staff

 
“What is the Church’s stance on dating a man who is
separated from his wife?” - Helen

 

CatholicView Staff:

What is the church's stance on dating someone who says that he and his wife are separated-each living in separate houses. I am a widow. We are both Catholic.  Helen

 

Helen:

Unless the man you are dating is divorced and has an annulment, you must not date him.  He is still married in the eyes of the Church.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“I sinned by seeing a Prostitute.  Is it possible
to repent?” - Gerard

CatholicView Staff:

I sinned by seeing a Prostitute and got oral sex.... I quickly left after 10 minutes feeling shamed and disgusted at myself.   And how I dishonored my family name and grandmother that passed away last quarter.  Is it possible for me to repent?  - Gerard

 

Gerard:

I am sorry that you are suffering because of past action.  The good news is that Jesus Christ already paid for your sin.  God waits for you to ask for His forgiveness. In His great love for you, God will forgive.  But you must try to never repeat this sin again.

Don’t delay in asking the Lord to forgive you.  Through His eternal grace, He will grant it.  Go to confession, free yourself from this sin and be welcomed back into the Church family.  God loves you!  - CatholicView Staff

 
“I quit my job because my boss kept attacking my religion.  
Can you help me find peace?”  - Lora

CatholicView Staff:

Yesterday I quit my job because my boss keeps attacking my religion. I had told her before she needed to respect my religion and I would do the same for her. Yesterday she chose to attack me by yelling at me in front of my class that the pope is the antichrist and she had documents to prove it to me. I was highly offended and turned and left my three year postition on the spot. I am sad for my students, the pope, and Jesus. My friends and family think I should take her to court and I think I should just close that chapter and go on believing God will bless me with something better. My feelings are very hurt and I can’t sleep.

 

Dear Lora:

I am so sorry that you lost your job.  To attack someone because of their faith, especially in a class of young people, is vicious and uncalled for.

If you were not trying to solicit people to believe that way you do, this is a matter that should be brought to the proper school authorities.  To let this woman ridicule others for their beliefs is wrong, and goes against the right to serve God with freedom.

You can do nothing or you can see that this never happens again with this person by making a report on her behavior.  And consider the students seeing such action toward a colleague.  I suggest you pray and ask God to help and strengthen you with a decision that will bring you peace.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“My lady friend was married twice before.   One husband
was an abuser; the other lasted a few weeks.  Can
she get annulments?” - Roy

CatholicView Staff:

I am a 63 year old practising Catholic.  I am considering asking a lady, also in her sixties, who I have known for about 20 years to be my wife.  She is a non-Catholic who was previously married twice.  One was an abusive relationship during which she was beaten by her husband and the other marriage was frivolous and lasted only a few weeks.  What must occur for her to obtain a valid Catholic annulment of her previous marriages and for us to be validly married in the Catholic Church? - Roy


 

Roy:

From what you state in your mail to CatholicView, it should not be a problem for your lady friend to get the needed annulments for you to marry in the Church.  I am assuming that you are free to marry.  Make an appointment to see your parish priest to see what has to be done and have your lady friend provide the necessary information concerning her previous marriages.  Once all this is settled, and annulments granted,  you will be able to get married in the Catholic Church. – CatholicView Staff

 
“Is there no way a Catholic can be assured of his
salvation?” - Martin

CatholicView Staff:

I joined the Catholic Church as an adult convert when I was 20-some years of age.  A half-century later, I find myself increasingly in despair.

Is there no way a Catholic can be assured of his salvation?  If I were in a “state of grace” and were to die the next moment, I guess that would do it – BUT, how can any Catholic be assured that he/she is so disposed?

I attend Mass regularly; I read the Bible; I try to be vigilant of ways to help others; I’m an Extraordinary Minister;  I donate to the Church;  I’ve taught inquiring adults about Catholicism; etc.; but my confidence of salvation is zip from what the Church teaches.

For example, in Matthew 5:27-28, we find:  “But I say unto you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  From “The Catechism of the Catholic Church” and various exegeses of what this verse means and what “lust” means, I would have to close my eyes every time a TV commercial were on, read no modern novels, see no movies, etc., given my surviving degree of libido.  And that’s only from the Old Law (Decalogue); the Beatitudes, I fear, leave me totally in the dust.

Father, I am increasingly depressed and discouraged that, after 50 years of Catholicism, I cannot find any reasonable peace of mind that I will be saved by Christ’s sacrifice and justified by my actions.  Any guidance you might provide would be tremendously appreciated.  Were we, after original sin, meant to always endure this cloud which is over us in this life – or are we to proceed joyfully when we try to demonstrate to others the benefits of our faith? - Martin

 

Martin:

 

On Sunday, February 21, 2010 in the second reading at Mass,  Romans 10:8-13 clarifies and answers your question concerning salvation:

 

It reads, “The message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart.  And that message is the very message about faith that we preach:  If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.  As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disgraced.  Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him.  For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  And so, Martin, there you have your assurance.  Your place in heaven is assured by faith and by the death and resurrection of the Lord.  The Lord Jesus didn't die and rise in vain. He is taking you with him.

 

But, along with this good news for those who profess their faith, we must also remember scriptures that warn: 

 

Mark 13:33 states, “And since you don’t know when that time will come, be on guard! Stay alert.”  St. Mark is warning us that we must repent of any sin we commit, and ask and receive forgiveness immediately, and with confidence.

 

Martin, continue to go forward in your faith, knowing that no man is perfect.  God knows this and made a way for us when we stumble into sin.  We, as Christians, have on our side the most important antidote for sin; it is the grace God gives us to constantly to renew our faith in Jesus Christ by seeking forgiveness.  His promises are eternal, and through His Son, we can remain on God's path to eternal life.  And His promises to me will be kept to the full.  I have no doubt and I am ready to see my "mansion" in heaven (John 14:1-2).  And I am quite sure that I see your mansion with your name on it!
We shall see you in heaven, my friend. – CatholicView Staff

 

 


“Are Catholics Christian?” - Martin

CatholicView Staff:

My mother-in-law is teaching my kids that Catholics aren't Christians.   Is this your doctrine? – Martin

 

Martin:

Thank you for your question.  Sadly, Catholics continue to hear this biased thinking. 

This is a simple one.  Anyone who believes that Jesus Christ is Lord of our lives is a Christian.  The word Christian denotes a belief in Jesus.  Go in peace, my friend, and spread the good news.  See you in heaven someday.  – CatholicView Staff


“In an emergency can a lay person hear a confession
and grant absolution?” - Bruce

CatholicView Staff:

A question about confession.

In case of dire emergency when no priest is available, can someone else hear a person's confession and grant absolution?

If so, who would qualify?  Thank you for providing this service.  - Bruce

 

Dear Bruce:

Thank you for your question.  A lay person cannot hear a confession or grant absolution.  It must be done by a priest.

Father Vincent Serpa, a Catholic Answer Apologist, has this to say on this subject:  “What the Church means by ‘last rites’ is the sacrament of anointing. Only a priest or bishop can administer this sacrament. When you bring the Eucharist to the sick, you assist the priest in administering that sacrament, but it is only the priest or bishop who can consecrate the bread and the wine in the first place.  So yes, you may pray for the person, but no—you cannot administer the last rites.” 

Pray for the dying person if no priest is available.  Remember that prayers are all powerful.  Know that the Lord Who hears all and sees all will hear your fervent prayers. – CatholicView Staff


“Is it a sin not to go to Church?” - Renee

CatholicView Staff:

Is it a sin to not go to church?  I am a practicing Catholic in all other respects, however I just don't want to go. If I died today would this be considered a mortal sin and would I go to hell for this? Thanks for taking my question. – Renee

  

Renee:

The Ten Commandments clearly says “Keep the Sabbath Holy” and this is not a man made rule, it is a decree from God.  Naturally, if a person is sick, working, or has another legitimate excuse, God understands this.  If a person simply does not want to go, then yes it is a sin.   Remember, God knows all things. 

Isaiah 58:13 sternly warns, “Keep the Sabbath day holy.  Don’t pursue your own interests on that day, but enjoy the Sabbath and speak of it with delight as the Lord’s holy day.  Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day, and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly.”

If you are ill or a job prevents you for attending mass, this is considered permissible.  The Catholic Church warns that it is a mortal sin to miss Sunday Mass if you are able to go.  – CatholicView Staff

 


"How does the church feel about surrogate
motherhood?" - Rosy

CatholicView Staff:

Could you please tell me how the church feels about using a surrogate to have a baby, when a woman cannot conceive or carry a child but her eggs are able to be fertilized.? - Rosy

 

Rosy:

Thank you for your question.  Official Catholic teaching about surrogate motherhood has its foundation in Humanae Vitae, the 1968 encyclical letter by Pope Paul VI about artificial birth control.  Very briefly, that letter stated that there are two equal purposes of sex in marriage, the unitive and the procreative, and that both must be present in each act of sex in marriage. That is to say, marital sex should be both physically and emotionally unifying AND open to the transmission of new life. Perhaps the best way to understand this core teaching is that if human beings truly are created in God's image and likeness, then human love should imitate divine love.

The Catholic Church prohibits Surrogacy because it separates the act of conception from the act of sex.   Secondly, it introduces a third person into the act of procreation, and lastly, it allows the surrogate mother to be reduced to the status of selling her biological fertility.

Having a child born to you is a gift that only God gives.  Having a child through someone else takes away that gift. 

(John Paul II, Pope (1981), Apostolic Exhortation Familiaris Consortio.
Paul VI, Pope (1968): Encyclical letter Humanae Vitae.
Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (1974): Declaration on Procured Abortion. Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (1987): Donum Vitae.)

Hope this sheds some light for you.  - CatholicView Staff

 
“My husband wants a third child but I have severe
depression and anxiety so my doctors advise waiting.”  
Should I feel guilty?” – Rose

Dear CatholicView Staff:

My husband and I have two children.  He wants us to try for a third child, but I have recently been going through a period of severe depression and anxiety.  My doctor and therapist have advised me not to get pregnant at this time.  I agree with them, but my husband does not.  We have been using NFP.  Am I doing the wrong thing by not trying to have another child at this time?  I feel so overwhelmed taking care of the two children I have and am feeling very depressed and guilty.

Rose:

I am sorry to hear that you are in a depressed state and face extreme anxiety.  If your doctor and therapist have advised you not to have a child at this time you must listen to these professionals.  This is vital as you have two children who depend on you.  Certainly your husband must wait, with compassion, until your health improves before having another child.

The Church supports NFP (Natural Family Planning) so you do not have a problem there.   Get your anxiety and depression under control.  Know that God sees all and understands.  May the Lord Who loves you give you peace.  – CatholicView Staff 

 
“Can I pray to God before going to confession?”
- Roy

CatholicView Staff:

If I am in the state of mortal sin(s) can I still pray to God before I go to confession? - Roy

 

Dear Roy:

Absolutely you can pray to God before going to confession.  God is always available to us when we pray directly to Him.  He wants us to bring all things to Him in prayer.  In John 15:16, Jesus Christ says “whatever you ask the Father in My Name, my Father will give it to you.  In your case this would be confessing mortal sin.  And so, pray to God, knowing He hears you and wants to forgive you of your sin.  But you must be very careful not commit that mortal sin again. 

Go to confession and receive the blessing that awaits you there.  Find the peace and grace that God want to give to you.  May the Lord bless you always. – CatholicView Staff

 
“Why is it when I am in front of the altar
I start to cry? - Connie

CatholicView Staff:

Why is it that whenever I am before the sacrament of the altar I just start to cry?   EVERY TIME?  It seems to be the one place I just come completely unglued and it is  embarrassing.  Please help.    Thanks.  - Connie

 

Connie:

This is nothing to be ashamed about.  The Holy Spirit is alive in you.  Be proud that you love the Lord.  This is a beautiful happening when you feel the presence of God.  Do not be embarrassed. 

I know that God sees your tears of joy come forth and He is pleased that you adore Him.  Be at peace and continue on your path of faith. – CatholicView Staff

“I taught in public schools for years and am now retired.  Should
I feel guilty because I want to spend time doing enjoyable
things for myself?” - Maureen

CatholicView Staff:

Our Lord Jesus deserves that our lives be completely surrendered to Him.  I am married, 57 years old, have children and a grandchild, and taught in the public schools for years. I retired now, but feel guilty about spending time doing things for me,(quilting, working on my house, etc,) when I could be volunteering at the schools to help children that can use a helping hand.

When do you know you've done enough?  That you have used your talents sufficiently?  Thank you for considering my question. God bless you.


 

Hello Maureen:

I think you will know when the time is right for you to volunteer help to others.  Right now, you are enjoying the freedom of retirement.  Do not berate yourself for “catching up” on all the things you love to do and were unable to because of the restraints of work.  God wants us to live a happy and useful life.  You are doing nothing wrong.

There will come a time when you will give more to people outside your home, when you will feel a compulsion to do so.  If you see a need, you will help others as a Christian woman.  Right now you need a little time away from the pulls of outside work.   There is no sin in this.  God go with you and give you peace.  – CatholicView Staff

“The leggings I bought for my daughter has a design of
a cross among the patterns.  Should my daughter wear these?”
- Mary

CatholicView Staff:

I bought a pair of leggings for my 8 year old daughter and they have a design of a cross amongst a multitude of other patterns, flowers, hearts, vines. I didn't notice this when I purchased them.  Is it alright for my daughter to wear them? - Mary

 

Mary:

Of course your daughter can wear her leggings.  Although part of the design may resemble a cross, it may be just a flute marking in the fabric among the flowers, vines and hearts.  If it is a cross, and someone comments, just smile.  It may be a good reminder to those who need a nudge in the right direction.  Go in peace. - CatholicView Staff 


“Is it ok not to drink the wine if one is in recovery
of alcohol and drugs?” - Charlotte

CatholicView Staff:

Is it ok not to drink the wine if one is in recovery of alcohol and drugs? - Charlotte

 

Charlotte:

There is no sin in not taking the wine at communion.  God understands, so do not worry.  And congratulations on your recovery.  CatholicView is very proud of you!  Many blessings to you.  – CatholicView Staff


“My wife and I were divorced and then remarried.  Is it
possible for us to return to the Church? - Gary

CatholicView Staff:

I was raised Catholic.  I left the Church at 21 and married in a Protestant Church.  We were divorced after 13 years because she didn't want children.  We remarried in a court ceremony and are still married after12 years.  Is it possible to return and receive communion? - Gary

 

Gary:

Absolutely you can return to the Church.  Your priest will be able to advise on this.  This should not be a problem.  Welcome back.  CatholicView Staff  


“My friends want me to marry them in a civil
ceremony. Can I do this?” - Donna

CatholicView Staff:

Friends want me to marry them in a civil ceremony.  They are not Catholic.  In NJ one has to be a mayor, minister or judge to officiate. There are online official licenses but they are all denominational ministers which is a conflict of course with my faith.  Is there another way I can marry them?  - Donna

 

Donna:

Interesting question.  You are not a licensed, qualified minister or priest.  You do not have any credentials to marry people.  And as you know, a marriage that is done civilly is not recognized by the Church and so you are involving yourself, as a Catholic, in something outside Church teaching.  I would strongly advise a pass on this idea.  Hope this helps.  – CatholicView Staff


“I feel shunned at my Church.  What can I do?”
- Janelle

CatholicView Staff:

I feel shunned at my church.  I am a single mother of a nine year old boy.  I'm a convert.  I'm 31 but I look like I'm 16. I've struggled a great deal and made a lot of mistakes.  I'm poor and a high school drop out but I love G.K. Chesterton, and Aquinas' writings on vice and virtue changed my whole life.  I Love my church I want to learn more and give back but I don't fit in.- Janelle

 

Dear Janelle:

Unfortunately there are always people who will shun a person because they refuse to see the goodness within that person.   They pass unfair judgments sometimes without cause.

Do not let others deter you or force you out.  You are a child of the Most High and as such, you are very special in God’s eyes.  Hold your head high.  And yes, you fit into God’s Church.  It is those who ignore a member of their Christian family whose Christian love is suspect.  

Why not become a Minister of the Eucharist or donate time in the parish office? Keep moving forward.  The barriers in your Church will soon wear out as they begin to see that you do not need their stamp of approval to receive God's grace and all His promises.   God go with you always.  – CatholicView Staff


“I am disheartened that God allows innocent people
to die.  Can you help me?” - Milena

CatholicView Staff:

I have always had a strong faith in God, and have been very fortunate in all the aspects of my life. Financially stable; excellent loving parents; great husband; and a beautiful healthy six year old son.  I am truly blessed, and I am very grateful for all the blessings in my life!!!!!

But my faith in God has been truly disappearing after one particular incident that occurred in my city, Miami. Note that this is not the first time this terrible news has happened. It truly affected me that a grandmother forgot her 9-month-old granddaughter inside her car; and as a result that child tied to her car seat of coarse was found dead after I don't know how many hours in a scolding heat of mid summer in Miami, Florida.  That news made me cry like I never thought, and I continue to cry each and every time I think how that poor baby must have suffered/SCREAMED/ and cried, and eventually had to die tied to her car seat, of such a horrible death.  And so my question is, where was God when this happened to that baby?  If God is so great and powerful, why didn't he send someone to pass by that car and see that poor baby?  My heart tells me that God was NOT there for her.  And that baby is not able to pray, is not able to wish, all that child did was suffer enormously to die.  And I understand dying is part of life, but why children have to suffer in this great magnitude?  God is great, but God is surely NOT everywhere, because God did NOT save that baby.  And God did not save hundreds of people who have died hour-by-hour praying, and praying HARD to God, to please not let them dye in the dark, of thirst and hunger, and not being able to move buried under cement after the earthquake in Haiti.  Where is God for those people?  I am making this question, because these terrible tragedies that occur have made me believe that in many cases evil is more powerful that God.  I don't want to believe that, but that's what my heart feels. I want to re-establish faith in God, but I don't know how, it doesn't come to me when I see the slow suffering of innocent humans I don't even feel like praying because I don't feel there really is someone listening to me because its obvious God has not listened to others buried alive, dying minute by minute.  I wish someone in the Catholic Church, this is the religion I grew up with, would help my soul.  I was a better person when I had faith in God. I want someone to help me. - Milena

 

Dear Milena:

CatholicView received a similar question last month so I am passing that answer, written by Father Bill, onto you with a few slight changes.

“Your specific question asks what the Bible and the Church have to say about enjoying life despite the tragedy all around us. I could be wrong, but I don’t think that the Bible or the Church can directly address this.   There is a lot about tragedy in the bible and a lot about joy, but tragedy most often seems to be related to sin and human failure, while joy seems to be related to living a life that is righteous, just, and pleasing to God.

Neither can I think of any official teachings of the Church that tell us how to find joy in life in spite of its many sorrows. However, many of the saints have had their say in this regard.  I would suggest that you look into the life of St. Theresa of Avila.  Although she was a mystic and suffered many indignities, she was still very down-to-earth and witty.   I think you would enjoy reading about her life.  An Internet search should lead you to plenty of books by and about this amazing saint and doctor of the Church.

I’m sure that you realize that even though we don’t all experience the weight of success, just about everyone has to live in the midst of tragedy.   Whether it’s the broad human tragedies like war, hunger, terrorism and poverty, or the more immediate tragedies like the illness or death of a loved one, we all live in a world that contains plenty of what Psalm 23 calls the “valley of darkness”.   Still, the overall tenor of Psalm 23 is one of a quiet kind of joy found in knowing that, even in the midst of life’s travails, “the Lord is my Shepherd”.   That Psalm has helped many people on their walk through life.

I admire your empathy.  You obviously take upon yourself the pains of others. Such empathy is both a gift and a burden.  It is a gift because you are a compassionate presence in the lives of others, but it is a burden in that such empathy casts a shadow over your joy.

We don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but they do. We don’t know why a young mother dies of breast cancer or a young father dies in a car accident coming home from work. It sucks…it really does, and we feel helpless and more than a little angry.    Personally, I don’t think that God does these things.  I think they just happen, and God weeps with us when they do…but that’s just me.  Others would disagree. So much really comes down to our mortality and how we perceive that inevitable aspect of human life. We will all die.   Is death really a tragedy?   Not, I suspect, if we have embraced life.

You can’t change the fact that others are suffering and you are not.  I wonder if I can be bold enough to tell you to embrace the life you have.  It is a gift from God that holds great potential. Thank God every day for your blessings.  Pray the Morning Offering. Pray the Serenity Prayer. Pray the Lord’s Prayer…”thy will be done”…and leave what you can’t control in the hands of God.–Father Bill

Milena, please keep the faith knowing that someday God will explain it all to us.  Hope Father Bill’s answer helps a bit.–CatholicView Staff

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