ASK A PRIEST
JANUARY 2010



FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF



FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
“Can I return to the Church if I do not agree with
the Marian doctrines?” - Carol

Father Kevin:

I am a former Catholic and my question is simple.  Am I allowed to return to the Catholic Church if I do not agree with the Marian doctrines such as the Immaculate Conception and other articles of faith in reference to Mary?  I have studied these articles for years and have talked to very knowledgeable priests, but due to a matter of conscience cannot accept these doctrines. Would Jesus Christ and the Catholic Church reject me due to this. I discovered that Augustine and Thomas Aquinas believed as I now do.  Thank you and God bless you. - Carol

Hi Carol:

Thanks for your question.  Our Catholic doctrines are the always the result of long processes, sometimes lasting for centuries, or reflection, argument, discernment and debate.  In all this, the Church seeks an understanding of God's saving purposes.  We believe that in this process somehow following Jesus' promise, the Holy Spirit guides and prompts our minds and hearts as we wrestle our way forward.  This process is not the exclusive domain of Church leaders and theologians. While they always take a leading role in these developments, part of this role is to listen to what God seems to be saying to the whole Church, and this means that you and I are as much part of the process as anyone else. 

Even when doctrines have been defined, such as the ones you mention, there is still reflection and discussion in order to understand the truest meaning hidden in what often appear to be simple bald statements of faith.   These doctrines are as often as not, statements of meaning, rather than simply statements of fact, and so it can be fruitful to keep asking what they mean and to keep looking for the deeper truth that they contain. These doctrines about Mary for instance mean to capture and express her complete openness to God's purposes, her complete self-giving and her total integrity in that response to God's call to her.

This really captures the point of the doctrines, and we then leave it to people’s own faith to find their way to the heart of these teachings.

I’d encourage you to keep wrestling and reflecting, and to add your voice to our shared journey.   You’d certainly be welcome at our place!  Every good wish and God bless you too. - Father Kevin


“Can an educated professor really claim he never
had a chance to know God?”  - Carol

Father Kevin:

Can a person who is an atheist (a university professor, no less) in this day and age, really claim that they never had the opportunity to get to know God?  Are we naive to believe this could be true? - Carol

Hi Carol:

I don't know what to say here other than I suppose it's possible if not likely. If such a person makes this claim, we could challenge it of course. While our world is awash with religion, it is possible for someone to live a totally irreligious life with no real encounter with the things of God.   It would take a strong mind and will to accomplish this isolation however!   We have a new wave of intellectual atheists writing boldly about the absence of God, but it seems to be an intellectual exercise devoid of heart.  If we allow the heart to engage, then God is sure to seek us out and find us!  Good wishes.   - Father Kevin

 
“Should I give to a charity who helps in crisis
pregnancies?   They give options including
abortion but no judgment. - Amy

Father Kevin:

Should I donate to a charity whose purpose is to help women in crisis pregnancies if they say that they don't make any judgments on the final decision of the mother? According to their literature, they provide education on all of the options including abortion. It looks like they do a lot of good things, but I am 'on the fence' on this one. (They do not say they are affiliated with any religious denomination.)

 

Dear Amy:

I can understand why you are on the fence on this one!  A gentle response could be to offer them some support on condition that your donation does not go to providing information about abortion to people but rather to other forms of support. If they are as respectful of the freedom of their clients as they say, they may well be respectful of your wishes too.  All good wishes. - Father Kevin



FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL

"When an organ becomes available for
transplant, how is it decided who gets it?"
- Tom
 

Father Menzel:

My wife and I have been having a discussion about medical ethics: specifically, organ transplants. Of course, there are a finite number of organs available for transplant and a larger number of people who need them. When an organ becomes available for transplant, what is the ethical way to decide who should get it?

My wife says that this should solely be on a first-come, first-served basis. If your name is at the top of the list, you should get the organ, no matter what. This is the only fair, ethical solution, she says.

I asked: What if the first person on the list is an 80-year-old man but the second person on the list is a 35-year-old mother with three kids. And what if she is sicker than the older man? Shouldn’t those circumstances be taken into consideration, allowing her to be given priority?

My wife says no. That would be “devaluing” the older man’s life and would be equivalent to “playing God.” I don’t agree, but can’t quite seem to formulate a response. What do you think?  Thanks for any response.  - Tom

Dear Tom,

Not being a bioethicist—nor even moderately well informed in this complex arena—I address your household discussion somewhat reluctantly. I would rather be on the side that says it is a good thing to sign the “organ donor” option on your driver’s license than to enter the discussion on how donor organs should be allocated. I would rather rejoice in the generous heroism of a sister who donates a kidney to her brother than to delve into the murky ethics of the growing worldwide for-profit (and often criminal) trade in available organs. Still, your question intrigues me and gives me a chance to think about all this a little more deeply.

In the United States the discussion you and your wife are having has already been resolved—at least on one level it has. Here I quote from a brief article in Wikipedia: “…the United Network for Organ Sharing (UNOS) is a non-profit, scientific and educational organization that administers the nation's only Organ Procurement and Transplantation Network (OPTN), established (42 U.S.C. § 274) by the U.S. Congress in 1984.” True to its congressional mandate, UNOS has established protocols and criteria to carry out the provisions of the OPTN legislation; these are far too complex to try to summarize here.

Suffice it to say that you and your wife each have valid points. In actuality, transplantation decisions are made based on many factors. Some organs last longer outside the body than others, so decisions are made based on which organ is being donated as well as the distance between a donor and potential recipient. Position on a list is important. So is the recipient’s need. Age can be a consideration. The variables go on and on, but they appear to be well defined. They are computer managed for the most part. Since time is usually of the essence, human indecision defers to computerized cold speed. There is no time for heartfelt agonizing about who should get this set of lungs; the computer decides. The organs are rushed to the airport, and while the plane is just getting off the ground in Houston, the recipient is already being prepped by the surgeons in Corpus Christi.

I know that there are sometimes exceptions to these well-established protocols and criteria, but I would say that it is a blessing that human beings are usually out of the loop in this whole process. Obviously, humans have established the criteria and programmed the computers, but no one has to play God.

This is the scenario when the donor is deceased, and I believe that your household discussion revolved around this scenario. There are, however, other scenarios. Living-to-living transplants are common these days. Donating a kidney to a relative or friend is an example. As far as I know, such transplants are arranged without the participation of UNOS, although I would assume that UNOS is informed so that an accurate transplant database can be maintained.

Then there is the other scenario that I referred to in my first paragraph: buying and selling of donor organs. The moral and ethical questions that haunt this market echo around the world, as the rich pay the poor for spare body parts. This is a far cry from the generous gestures of those who donate a kidney to a relative or sign the donor agreement on their driver’s licenses. Preying upon the vulnerabilities of the poor is always an ugly business. When it sees the poverty-stricken masses as a reservoir for spare human body parts, it is even uglier.

I’m not sure how adequately my few paragraphs address your question, Tom, but I do think that you and your wife can end your discussion. You’re both right. (And I’m the coward who wouldn’t take sides!)   May God bless you. - Fr. Bill 

 
"I feel bad because my husband's brother
committed suicide, and we couldn't help him."
- Sandy  

Dear Father Menzel:

I am very troubled.  My brother-in-law had been driving my husband and I crazy with bizarre phone calls multiple times a day.   We tried to be as helpful as possible but I lost my patience with him on numerous occasions.  2 weeks ago my husband found his brother hanging from a rafter in his basement and we feel so guilty that we should have done more.  We had no idea he was this troubled.  Will God forgive us and will God forgive my Catholic brother-in-law?  Thanks so much. - Sandy

Dear Sandy,

I’m so sorry to learn of your brother-in-law’s tragic death. My heart goes out to you and your husband and to others who mourn his loss. For those who are left behind, suicide is probably the most difficult type of death to deal with. To begin with, your husband will likely never forget finding his brother’s body. Then come all the what-ifs and if-onlys, not to mention the guilt they inspire. The sadness of death is magnified by the gnawing feeling that this wouldn’t have happened if friends and loved ones had been more vigilant or hadn’t acted as they did. This burden can weigh heavily.

However, let me say very clearly: Your brother-in-law’s suicide is not your fault.

Let me say it again: Your brother-in-law’s suicide is not your fault.

I am absolutely certain that if you had known the depths of your brother-in-law’s despair, you would have done what you could to try to help him. The fact is, you didn’t know. The fact is you did try to help him—as much as you could under the circumstances. Losing your patience while trying to deal with a situation you don’t understand is a pretty common human reaction. We’ve all done that. That is not what caused your brother-in-law to take is own life.

From your brief description of his conduct, I would suspect that your brother-in-law had a serious mental illness. Perhaps observers with more experience with this kind of thing might have recognized it as such, but none of us can possibly have the knowledge necessary to deal with every conceivable eventuality. The fact that you did not understand or recognize what was happening to him does not make you responsible for your brother-in-law’s death. If you had had the knowledge, you would have used it. You did your best under the circumstances. The fact that your best wasn’t enough to prevent this tragedy does not imply any inadequacy on your part. You do not need to be forgiven, but you do need to turn all of this over to God. He understands your anguish. Let his love and compassion heal you.

You also ask whether God will forgive your brother-in-law. Ultimately, of course, we must leave that up to God. For myself, I cannot conceive of a God who would condemn a mentally ill person to eternal punishment for any offense, including taking his own life. Making clear moral choices is difficult enough for those of us with no history of mental illness. It is profoundly more difficult for someone like your brother-in-law. Even civil law allows for mental illness as a mitigating factor in determining culpability for criminal behavior. Certainly God is more compassionate than civil law. Trust him.

May God bless you and help you during this difficult time. – Fr. Bill


"I am pregnant with my ex-husband's child. 
What should I do?"  - Rikki

Father Menzel:

I am asking for guidance during a very complicated, confusing time. I am pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby. I do not want to reconcile with him, and yet cannot bring myself to terminate the pregnancy. My family will be devastated when/if I tell them. I already have two children whom I can barely provide for. What do I do? - Rikki

Dear Rikki,

I would like to begin by thanking you for not terminating this pregnancy. As difficult and complicated as this pregnancy is for you, you had the courage to protect the life of a baby who is completely innocent of any wrongdoing and totally dependent on you for life. I admire you for the stand you are taking.

The guidance I can give you is fairly limited. The wording of your question seems to imply that you will not get much support from your family as you deal with the pregnancy. I think you need to be sure of this. Families often pull together when one of the families is in difficult straits. Maybe your family can’t or won’t do that, but you need to be sure.

Otherwise, many pro-life organizations offer some kind of support system for women who are confused and troubled by a pregnancy. However, you might start out by contacting your parish, as someone there might be able to direct you to resources in your area.

If, for some reason, you are unable to get some direction from your parish, then I would suggest doing some research on your own to find organizations in your area that can help you get through this difficult time. Perhaps a local hospital or your city or county social services agencies can point you toward a support group where you might find some encouragement and reassurance.

My final suggestion would be to consider putting your child up for adoption. This may be a difficult emotional choice for you, and it may not even be possible, since you and your husband are apparently still legally married. However, if both of you were to agree to this, it certainly would be a solution that would benefit many.

In all of this, take your concerns to God in prayer. God doesn’t always do exactly what we want, but he has his ways of making his presence known. The child you carry is really his child, and so are you. Let him love you both as you seek the answers you need. - Fr. Bill



CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I discovered my fiancé searching online for
pornography of elementary school aged
children.  Advice?" - Francesca

CatholicView Staff:

Several months ago, I broke off an engagement to a man I loved very much when I discovered that he had been specifically searching for (by word and by name) pornography of elementary school aged children online.  I am a teacher of children this age and work so hard to protect them from predators; the shock that rippled through my life can't be understated, and at the time I did nothing, not wanted to even think about it.  Now I am wondering if at this point going forward to the FBI and/or his superiors in the Army is malicious and spiteful, or the right thing to do (he is a high-level officer with security clearance and obviously in violation of many laws military and civilian). - Francesca

Francesca:

I am saddened that you have suffered such emotional pain about this very delicate but serious situation of your ex-fiancé and his Internet search for child pornography.  The possession of child pornography, which includes downloading such criminal images on a computer hard-drive, even if the images are immediately deleted, is a serious felony in the USA.   There are several questions that come to mind:  how did you find out about these Internet searches from your ex-fiancé?  Internet search history doesn't really tell us anything about what he is looking for.  One can search for anything, use any word, but that doesn't mean a crime has been committed.  He could have been doing research for his job or doing some kind of academic research.   So, Internet searches don't prove anything.  There isn't much to report if only you found an Internet search history.   Did you actually find child pornography images on his computer?  Yes?  Finding child pornography REQUIRES you to report.  If you do not report, you may become an accessory to a crime.  You are an educator and that means that the law considers you a mandated reporter.  There is nothing malicious or spiteful in reporting a crime.  Do report now if a crime has been committed.  Authorities will be able to find the truth of the matter.  Leave it up to them. – CatholicView Staff


"Is betraying a confidence a sin or is it
"telling the truth”? - AB

CatholicView Staff:

Is betraying a confidence a sin or is it "telling the truth?  

I work in the health care field; I discovered that the director of the department where I worked was hiding a major scandal that jeopardized hundreds of patients and staff, their health and lives. I confided to someone whom I thought was a very close friend, a man of higher education, intelligence, a man who also holds a lifelong high position in his Baptist church, and he is a director of another department of this institution.  I wanted his advice about what I should do. He immediately went to this person, told her what I knew and she instantly fired me.

It has been 3 years and I am still in grave poverty financially and suffering from this betrayal.  I have forgiven him; he was stunned to find out that this woman told of his betrayal; he ended our close friendship upon finding out that I knew. He will not see or even speak to me or return any calls. I miss him terribly.

When I asked why he betrayed me, he said, "she asked me if you knew about the hidden scandal, she suspected that you knew, and I'm not going to lie for anybody".  He knew that by telling her what I had confided to him, that I would lose my job because she is a very revengeful, vindictive woman.

Was his action a betrayal or was he supposed to 'tell the truth' even if it meant hurting me?  He did not, by the way, go to any authorities to report her for hiding this scandal, nor did he encourage her to do the right thing because I asked him.

This situation deeply wounds me to my soul; I regret ever confiding in him and losing our friendship. I feel like he protected an evil woman over a close friend.  I've prayed to God to repair this for me, but I have no answers.  I am still in major poverty and lost a longtime close friend.  I was only trying to do the right thing, seek guidance and advice from a man who is more educated and worldly than me in business matters about what I should do and instead, I feel that Satan triumphed. - AB

        

Dear AB:

What an example of betrayal of friendship and trust!  But a lesson must be learned here for all.   When you find out something that is criminal and endangers the lives and health of others, then one is obligated to report such criminal actions to the civil authorities immediately and let them figure out what is true or not.  What you have done was not wrong but unwise.  You trusted someone you knew was close to the person who was doing the criminal action.  Never ever trust anyone who is a friend or is close to a person you suspect of wrongdoing, no matter his or her credentials.  If you need advice, ask someone who is separated from the situation, such as your pastor (I am presuming he doesn't know the person involved) or a counselor.  Satan has not triumphed.   Jesus is Lord and Savior now and forever.  This person (and the scandalous supervisor) who has wronged you will be repaid by the Lord's vengeance (and not yours).  You need to stop focusing on the negative and get back on your feet and ask the Spirit of God to give you the motivation and energy to rebuild your life.  If you continue to be overwhelmed by your painful betrayal, then Satan will have triumphed.  Your betrayal is an opportunity to learn a major lesson about life:  trust in God alone.  Meanwhile, always be wise in your trust of others.   Look at the big picture and see who is involved.  Never ever trust a person who is close to another whom you have problems with.  Find someone else who is far and separated from your situation for advice.  CatholicView will pray that you find the peace only the Lord can give. – CatholicView Staff


“Should I ‘turn the other cheek’ if my
ex-husband cheated and was abusive?” - Katie

CatholicView Staff:

The Bible says to turn the other cheek when hurt.  How often is one supposed to turn the other cheek before it is considered abuse? I kept turning the other cheek and forgiving when my husband was cheating and emotionally abusive.   Now I am filled with anger toward him and his new wife and he tells me I'm going to hell because I can no longer forgive what he did to me.  When does one stop turning the other cheek and say 'no more'?   Thank you.  – Katie

 

Katie:

I am so sorry to hear of your ex-husband’s treatment of you.  I would suggest you make the change from allowing him to treat you badly to being someone who knows almighty God sees everything and will repay accordingly.  You must forgive him because as a Christian Catholic, God wants you to forgive.  Not through guilt but because as a Christian, we forgive others' sins as we wish to be forgiven. The Lord's Prayer tells us clearly:  "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."   This is in no way recommends that you allow yourself in the future to be a doormat.  

You must pick up the pieces of your life and look to the future.  If you do not have children you can be free of his company.  If you do have children, remain strong, not argumentative, but showing that you are the person God sees you to be: worthy and precious. 

Pray to God through Jesus Christ and ask Him to take away your pain, the shame and all the things you feel about your marriage to your ex-husband.  Do not allow any past infringement to pull you down.  You are special in God’s eyes and I want you to really feel that value.  Move forward, knowing that the God you serve has not forgotten you.  He has a plan for your life.  Focus on what lies ahead. 

Jesus promises to never leave you to suffer alone.  Put away the hurt and get on with your life.  It will be hard sometimes but don’t look back.  Remember that Jesus Christ is walking that path right besides you.  Believe that He will never let you stumble.   God bless you.   – CatholicView Staff


“I want to experience an altered state using
psychedelic mushrooms.  Is this sinful?” - Monica

CatholicView Staff:

I have recently been doing a good bit of reading on illegal drugs and I know that they are sinful to use on the basis that substance abuse is harmful to the body. I was wondering what the Church teaches on the use of psychedelic mushrooms as they are not addictive. I really want to know if allowing the mind to experience hallucinations is wrong. Legality aside, if only used once for just the purpose of experiencing an altered state of consciousness.   Would that be sinful? - Monica

Monica:

Thank you for your question.  Any drug, including excessive alcohol, that may cause loss of control and will power is sinful.  God teaches us to do everything in moderation.  In the case of mind-altering drugs, such as psychedelic mushrooms, this is an absolute no.  The altered state of consciousness and experiencing hallucinations puts you in extreme danger of making harmful or sinful decisions.  All things that hamper your state of mind is expressly forbidden by God and Church.

Corinthians 6:19-20 reads “Know that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and you are not your own.   You are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”

Hope this helps. – CatholicView Staff


“Am I permitted to be married in the
Church but not civilly?” - Gerald

CatholicView Staff:

I was married for 50 years and my wife passed away in 2007.  I met a widow who also lost her husband in 2006.  We are both Catholic.  I have grown children but she never had any children.  She inherited the business of her deceased husband and I have a business of my own.  My question is that we want to get married and live the rest of our natural lives together but we don’t want to be married under civil law; only the law of God and Church.  We would like to marry rather than just live together in sin.  Getting married would destroy, by civil law, and would have many implications upon our assets, wills, children, etc.

So, why can’t we have a Catholic marriage between us and not have it registered as a civil marriage under man’s or state laws?  The two are separate and according to the laws of God and Church, can’t be broken.  At our age, we are too old to have children and would prefer the blessing of the Church and be married there and not civilly.  We don’t want civil laws in our marriage.  All we want is a blessed union.  As you know by my past and her past we lived up to our previous marriage vows to the utmost.  I talked to my parish priest and was told by him that he would get in trouble with civil law if he did what I am asking for.  May I please hear from you as I am a Catholic and believe you should be married to live and act as if you are. Can you help us?  - Thanks.  Gerald

 

Hello Gerald:

I can sympathize with your dilemma concerning “getting married in the Catholic Church without the benefit of a civil license”.  However, your parish priest is correct in saying that, under USA Canon Law, you must have a civil license before you can be married in the Church.  The civil license is basically to protect both parties legally.  

In some countries, such as Mexico, it is permissible to marry within the Catholic Church without a civil license and the couple does receive a certificate of the Sacrament of Marriage from that Church, with its blessings.   This is information you might consider.

This practice of entering the sacrament of marriage without a civil license though, is prohibited in the United States.  – CatholicView Staff


“Can Satan hear your prayers to God?” 
– Susan

CatholicView Staff:

Can Satan hear your prayers to God? – Susan

Dear Susan:  

"No, Satan is not privy to our prayers to God and there is nothing in the bible that says he hears our prayers when we pray.  God did not give Satan unlimited knowledge, power, and awareness, or even His   understanding.  He is not omniscient.  He is an angel,  a created being.  God's faithful angels do not have that power, and Satan is no different except he was thrown out of heaven for wanting to be like God.  He is, however, clever and well aware of our comings and our goings, our likes and our dislikes and he is able to prey on this.  Consider the temptation of Christ in the Garden in the first chapter of Matthew.   Satan is wily, clever, supernatural and able to anticipate the human character and what our actions will be in human situations.  He is a tempter and gets great satisfaction when we fall into sin.  But he cannot cross the line to get to us unless we are willing to let him in.  

And again to re-iterate, the bible does not support the premise that Satan can hear our prayers when we pray. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff


“I flipped a coin to found out if God wanted my
marriage to work.  It came down tails – 'no'. 
Was this a sign?” - Paul 

CatholicView Staff:

Once I had an argument with my wife. I stormed out of the house. I asked God whether I should try to save my marriage, then flippd a coin. It came down tails - 'no'.  I love my wife, and want my marriage to work - should I take the coin as a sign? – Paul

 

Paul:

Perhaps you are not aware that you are practicing a divination ritual by flipping coins...PROHIBITED by scripture in order to "divine" an answer.  By flipping a coin, anything can influence how the coin drops from simple physics, to mathematical chance, to a spiritual entity. There is a biblical condemnation of "divination" ceremonies such as flipping coins since even Satan can influence how a coin drops.  All things which constitute “divination” is a direct violation of the First Commandment.   

The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches:  “Superstition is a departure from the worship that we give to the true God.  It is manifested in idolatry, as well as in various forms of divination and magic. (2138)”

God does not 'speak' in a flipping of a coin.  God speaks in His Word and in the human heart and conscience.  This practice to foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge is forbidden. 

Ask God to forgive you and work on saving your marriage.  You say you love your wife, now work to make it happen.  Ask your wife to forgive you.  Put away your coins and ask the Lord through constant prayer to give you insight and compassion, avoiding such means that God forbids.  God bless.  –CatholicView Staff

 
"Did Jesus and His disciples renounce
Judaism?” - Ciaran

Good day,

As Jesus and the disciples were Jews can Jews receive Communion?  Does the Church suggest that Jesus and the disciples renounced Judaism even though the "First Communion" was a Seder?  Thank you.

 

Ciaran:

Thank you for your question.  Jesus and His disciples did not renounce Judaism.  He came to fulfill it as told in the Old Testament in the Book of Isaiah Chapter 53.  BUT, Jesus must be accepted as Lord and Savior by those who want to share in His communion.  The Jewish disciples who shared the Last Supper believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah and therefore were entitled to share in that "First Communion". 

Matthew26:26-28 reads "Jesus took bread, said the blessing, broke it, and giving it to His disciples said, 'Take and eat; this is My Body.' Then He took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, 'Drink from it, all of you, for this is my blood of the (new) covenant, which will be shed on behalf of many for the forgiveness of sins." 

As you already know, Jesus Christ came first as the Jewish Messiah to offer Jewish people salvation.    During that time, many Jews did not accept Him as Savior.

Jesus died for all mankind, but He specifically came for the Jews at the beginning, along with some Gentiles who also came to faith.   God later sent Paul to the Gentiles to offer the gift of Jesus’ salvation.  Hope this helps you.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“Is it murder if you are killing in the army?”
- Daniel

CatholicView Staff:

I’m Anglican and I ask my priest is killing in the army considered murder and he couldn't answer me.   Can you please answer my question?   Is it murder if you are killing in the army? – Daniel

 

Dear Daniel:

We have received many questions concerning this subject.  I am going to refer you to an article that one of our volunteer priests at CatholicView addressed concerning this topic:

Is Killing, As Part Of War, Immoral And Sinful And Against God’s Will?

WAR, is it against the commandment: "You shall not kill?"  The Hebrew Scriptures (the Old Testament) are full of stories about battles and wars for the defense of the Holy Land.    During that time God blessed and protected the Israelites in their battle plans.  The Christian scriptures (the New Testament) use military terms to describe the battle between good and evil.  The theological concept of a  "just war" is what should guide the conscience in this matter.  In short, this concept of a "just war" says that it must in defense of your homeland (the "just war" theory doesn’t have room for the morality of STARTING a war), that the "good" must outweigh the evil of destruction and death, that targets must not involve innocent "civilians," and that war is considered the last option after "good faith" negotiations have all been exhausted.

Killing (I prefer the term MURDER) is never an acceptable Christian option.  But sometimes killing (taking life in self-defense) is tolerated for the greater good in war. Usually, the idea of self-defense is used to "justify" the taking of life in war.  And that would make sense.  For example, I personally would NEVER EVER allow anyone to take my life or the lives of those whom I love (such as my family).   I would defend myself even to the point of killing the perpetrator to defend my loved ones and myself.

In a role as soldier, one is protecting one’s self and loved ones from the destruction that enemies would bring to this country   if the enemies were not stopped.

The military is a worthy and wonderful calling to serve.  Of course, all of us would wish there was no military, no wars, but that is not the reality now.  We need those who can protect us and soldiers are the ones that God calls for in this time and place to protect us all.  I must trust that God will do whatever it takes to bring peace to this broken world.”

And there you have it.  Hope this helps you.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“Is it wrong to get a tattoo of the 10 commandments?” 
- Will

CatholicView Staff:

Is it wrong to get a tattoo of the 10 commandments?  - Will

 

Hello Will:

Body art has been practiced in every culture.  In the Old Testament, such body art was always associated with pagan cults. Therefore, the Hebrew people were forbidden to have body art since it represented that they were worshiping false gods. Today, most body art is not associated with cultic practices.   But, as a Catholic and follower of Jesus, I should not accept on my body any body art/tattoo that is Satanic, Cultic, Gang Affiliation (because it symbolizes violence) or is offensive.  Having a tattoo of the Ten Commandments is acceptable, and there is no sin in that.   Here’s hoping this clarifies things for you.  God bless you always. – CatholicView Staff


“Is it a sin for me to have fantasies about other men?”
  - Mariana

CatholicView Staff:

I have been married for 20 years and have always been faithful to my husband and never once desired to stray outside our marriage. Is it a sin for me to have fantasies about other men if I do not act upon them in any way? - Mariana

 

Dear Mariana:

Congratulations on twenty years of love and faithfulness to your husband.   However, the Catholic Church has always taught us to avoid the occasion of sin and this would include indulging in fantasies about other men that may lead to sinful actions or discontent.

Your thoughts and fantasies have more power than you think.   You must be very careful that they do not lead you into sin.  If you truly appreciate and love your husband, make sure it stays alive by focusing on him and the goodness of God for putting him into your life.

Work to keep your husband first in your mind and your heart.  If your thoughts start to stray, offset such thinking and remember the many positive things you love and have shared with him during those twenty years together.

May the Lord bless you and your husband always. – CatholicView Staff

 
“My wife has moved out and filed for divorce. 
Should I ask her parish priest to help us?” - Nathan

CatholicView Staff:

My wife has moved out and filed for divorce. We have some relationship problems (no affairs, physical or emotional abuse). We were married Catholic.  When I have asked her to consult the Church or have us attend Catholic counseling before she finalizes divorce, she becomes angry.   Is it appropriate to ask the Father of her parish to consult her regarding our situation? - Nathan

 

Dear Nathan:

Your question is difficult to answer because all the details of why your wife left you is unknown.   Something must have occurred to cause her to file for divorce.  Has she found someone else?  Did you offend her in some way? 

I would advise you to speak to your own parish priest first before you try to get help at her church.   Your priest will listen and advise you how to proceed.   CatholicView will keep you in prayer.  CatholicView Staff  

 
“My wife had an affair but feels she wouldn’t be forgiven. 
What should I do?” - David

CatholicView Staff:

My wife recently had an affair with another man.  She told me about it and ended it with him and we are trying to work things out.  She hasn't gone to Confession and doesn't want to because she still thinks about 'him' at least once a day.  In her mind she thinks that if she keeps thinking about him that maybe she's not really sorry and shouldn't be forgiven.  I've tried to tell her that it could only help even if she continues to have the thoughts but she thinks I'm trying to force her to go.  I'm not, but I think she may have the wrong idea about what confession is about.  Am I wrong or is there anything else I should do? - David

Dear David:

I am sorry to hear of your wife’s affair with another man.   And it is unfortunate that she feels she cannot be forgiven for her past actions.    Please tell her that God will forgive anyone or any sin if the person is sorry for that sin. 

It is admirable that you are trying to work on making your marriage stable once more, but realize that you cannot force anyone to go to confession.  What I would suggest is that you start praying together at home.  There is power in prayer.  During the prayer, ask the Lord to forgive her for her sins.  Ask God to mend your marriage with the staying power of your love for her.  Don’t force her to participate unless she wants to.  Let her feel how much God loves her in spite of her past, and let her see how much you love her too. 

Through God’s grace, one day she will feel strong enough to go to confession without pressure.  Hope this helps.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“When we all confess our sins together in Church,
Can we then take communion?” - Isela

CatholicView Staff:

During mass, when we all confess our sins all together, can we then take communion?  Or do we have to individually confess at a later time? - Isela

 

Dear Isela:

A community prayer during mass does not cover individual sin or we would not need the confessional.   It is there that we can name our sins and seek the forgiveness of God and Church for our actions. – CatholicView Staff

 
My mother is on artificial nutrition. 
Is it a sin to take her off artificial means?”
- Rose

CatholicView Staff:

We have been faced with the decision to take my mother off of artificial nutrition due to a stroke. The Dr. has confirmed that the damage is so extensive there is no chance of recovery. Is it a sin if we decide to? – Rose

 

Dear Rose:

Your do not say whether your mother is in a “vegetative state” or not.  Nonetheless, I would follow the Church’s teaching on this matter.

The Vatican has issued a statement through the ‘Congregation For The Doctrine of Faith’ to clarify its position on artificial life support.  

First question: Is the administration of food and water (whether by natural or artificial means) to a patient in a "vegetative state" morally obligatory except when they cannot be assimilated by the patient’s body or cannot be administered to the patient without causing significant physical discomfort?

Response: Yes. The administration of food and water even by artificial means is, in principle, an ordinary and proportionate means of preserving life. It is therefore obligatory to the extent to which, and for as long as, it is shown to accomplish its proper finality, which is the hydration and nourishment of the patient. In this way suffering and death by starvation and dehydration are prevented.

Second question: When nutrition and hydration are being supplied by artificial means to a patient in a "permanent vegetative state", may they be discontinued when competent physicians judge with moral certainty that the patient will never recover consciousness?

Response: No. A patient in a "permanent vegetative state" is a person with fundamental human dignity and must, therefore, receive ordinary and proportionate care which includes, in principle, the administration of water and food even by artificial means.

The Supreme Pontiff Benedict XVI, at the Audience granted to the undersigned Cardinal Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, approved these Responses, adopted in the Ordinary Session of the Congregation, and ordered their publication.  – Rome, from the Offices of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, August 1, 2007.

I hope this helps.  – CatholicView Staff

 
”How wrong is it to pretend I was sick and did not study
for my university exams?” - Patrick

CatholicView Staff:

 I have a moral dilemma. My exams for second year university are coming up and I haven't studied as much as I should have to get high grades. I am contemplating becoming sick (not that hard in -35 degree celsius weather)and getting a doctors note to have my exams deferred. How wrong is this? - Patrick

 

Patrick:

You are asking how wrong is it to lie to your professors.  Yes, it is very wrong to lie about being sick and avoiding your responsibilities as a student.   You are telling an untruth about something you should have done and getting your doctor to confirm that lie. 

How about telling the truth and asking your professor if you would be able to take the test at a later date?  – CatholicView Staff

 
“My mother thinks she prematurely killed her dog. 
How can she find peace?” – Amanda  

CatholicView Staff:

My mom had to put down her 13 yr old dog due to ailing health, and she is having a hard time thinking she prematurely killed her; she also wonders how God feels about her "killing" her dog.  How does God feel about putting a beloved pet to sleep? Thank you.  Please pray for my mother’s peace.  Amanda

 

Dear Amanda:

God has given us dominion over animals.  But it means loving those in our care, taking good care of them, and knowing when they are suffering.  In a case where there is no hope of recovery, it is a kindness to “let them go”

Tell your mother there is no sin here since her dog was in great pain.  Putting her dog “to sleep” was an act of loving care.  God understands.  Tell her to be at peace.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“Is it okay to send my Catholic child to a good
Lutheran school?” – Sadie  

CatholicView Staff:

Is it okay to send a Catholic child to a good Lutheran school if the Catholic school is comparable to a public school in its workings? - Sadie

 

Dear Sadie:

I would think about the fact that your young child would be enrolling in the school of another faith.   There is a danger in that, as your child may get confused with the differences he will hear there.

CatholicView does not have all the information needed about the school.  Please talk to your priest at length about the Lutheran school, asking him about the religion that might be taught in its curriculum and how it might affect your Catholic child.  God bless.  CatholicView Staff

 
“I am a Catholic woman in love with a Muslim. 
How can we make this work? - Stephanie

CatholicView Staff:

I am a Catholic woman. I am in love with a wonderful man, and he is a Muslim. We share many of the same values and morals. He treats me with kindness and respect. How can we make this work? - Stephanie

 

Stephanie:

My first important question to you is this:  Do you understand that since you are both from different cultures and because of the differences of belief concerning our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, there might be problems stemming from this relationship?  And are you aware that your fiance may want to raise his children in his religious belief which will not include faith in Jesus Christ?

I beg you to please consider the following information taken from the Catholic Marriage Resource Centre:  (http://www.catholicmarriagecentre.org.uk/marriagefaq.php)

The Catholic Church refers to a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person (Muslim) as a "disparity of cult" and as such requires a specific dispensation from the local Catholic Bishop. This would normally be obtained through the Catholic Party's parish priest. This dispensation would normally be granted, if the following conditions were fulfilled:

1. The Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith, and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her own power in order that all children be baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church.

2. The other party is to be informed in good time of these promises to be made by the Catholic party, so that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and of the obligation of the Catholic party.

Both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage, which are not to be excluded by either contractant. (Code of Canon Law: Canon1125)

Secondly, both of you must visit your parish priest and explain that you wish to get married.  He will, no doubt, question you both on your being free to marry, and any other points he needs clarifying. He will explain that he needs to seek your dispensation from his bishop as mentioned above.

3. You will both be required to attend a marriage preparation course, which will explain the Catholic teaching on marriage, as well as giving practical relationship skills.

4. The priest will, at another time, instruct you both regarding the format of the marriage service.

5. During the marriage service itself you will be formally asked your intentions. The priest will ask you both in turn:

"Are you ready freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?”

"Are you ready to love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?”

"Are you ready to accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and His Church?”

" Then you will both be asked to solemnly declare that you know of no lawful impediment to your both being married.

"After that, you both declare your consent to being married, followed by you both exchanging your marriage vows.

It is very important that you both consider carefully potential problems that your different religions and cultures might present. (Such as religious festivals and seasons, in-laws, family customs, children's education, etc. etc.)

Please contemplate what you are planning to do with much prayer.  Always remember the gift of Jesus Christ that you were given through baptism, and that is eternal salvation.  May the Lord bless you always. - CatholicView Staff

 
“I have prayed for something for 10 years. 
Should I give up?” - Paul

CatholicView Staff:

If I have been praying for something for over 10 years, should I just give up and just "let the chips fall where they may" or should I try some novenas or St. Jude? I'm not sure how to proceed.  – Paul

 

Paul:

Keep praying to our God Who knows and hears all prayers.  It may be that what you are asking for is not in His plan for you.  This is something you will ask the Lord one day.  Keep in mind that our ways are not God’s ways. 

But when you pray, do as Jesus told us in John 15:16.  Ask it through His name for He told us ”You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name”

Always remember that God is the final authority, with Jesus Christ Who will intercede for you.   – CatholicView Staff

 
“I made a promise to God but if I break it
will I be punished? - Mark

CatholicView Staff:

I have made a promise to God, and asked something of Him in return. What I said ‘I will not do ever again’ if He helps me, isn't a sin.  If I do commit what I agreed not to, am I sinning?  Will I be punished? - Mark

 

Dear Mark:

Christians must never bargain with God.  God does not require it of us.  What you did was make a promise that you may not keep, a promise that was not necessary.  Whatever you did promise should be something you should be doing anyway. 

Ask God for forgiveness and if you are truly sorry you must never do this again.  Turn a new page.  When you pray asking God for His help, do not vow or promise anything, except to ask Him to strengthen your faith. 

Take the first step to make this right.  Get forgiveness through confession. Accept God's forgiveness and live in the present, going forth in God’s grace and His love.   No more broken promises or bargaining.  Go in peace.   Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff

 
“Why does God allow so much suffering for some
of His children?” – Kevin        

CatholicView Staff:

Why does God allow so much more suffering for some of His children than others.  I know some that live an almost charmed life while for others its one hellish thing after the other.  It really doesn’t seem fair.  –Kevin

 

Dear Kevin:

CatholicView received a similar question last month so I am passing that answer, written by Father Bill, onto you with a few slight changes.

“Your specific question asks what the Bible and the Church have to say about enjoying life despite the tragedy all around us. I could be wrong, but I don’t think that the Bible or the Church can directly address this.   There is a lot about tragedy in the bible and a lot about joy, but tragedy most often seems to be related to sin and human failure, while joy seems to be related to living a life that is righteous, just, and pleasing to God.

Neither can I think of any official teachings of the Church that tell us how to find joy in life in spite of its many sorrows. However, many of the saints have had their say in this regard.  I would suggest that you look into the life of St. Theresa of Avila.  Although she was a mystic and suffered many indignities, she was still very down-to-earth and witty.   I think you would enjoy reading about her life.  An Internet search should lead you to plenty of books by and about this amazing saint and doctor of the Church.

I’m sure that you realize that even though we don’t all experience the weight of success, just about everyone has to live in the midst of tragedy.  Whether it’s the broad human tragedies like war, hunger, terrorism and poverty, or the more immediate tragedies like the illness or death of a loved one, we all live in a world that contains plenty of what Psalm 23 calls the “valley of darkness”.  Still, the overall tenor of Psalm 23 is one of a quiet kind of joy found in knowing that, even in the midst of life’s travails, “the Lord is my Shepherd”.  That Psalm has helped many people on their walk through life.

I admire your empathy.  You obviously take upon yourself the pains of others.  Such empathy is both a gift and a burden.  It is a gift because you are a compassionate presence in the lives of others, but it is a burden in that such empathy casts a shadow over your joy.

We don’t know why bad things happen to good people, but they do. We don’t know why a young mother dies of breast cancer or a young father dies in a car accident coming home from work. It sucks…it really does, and we feel helpless and more than a little angry.    Personally, I don’t think that God does these things.  I think they just happen, and God weeps with us when they do…but that’s just me.  Others would disagree. So much really comes down to our mortality and how we perceive that inevitable aspect of human life. We will all die.  Is death really a tragedy?   Not, I suspect, if we have embraced life.

You can’t change the fact that others are suffering and you are not.  I wonder if I can be bold enough to tell you to embrace the life you have. It is a gift from God that holds great potential. Thank God every day for your blessings.  Pray the Morning Offering.  Pray the Serenity Prayer.  Pray the Lord’s Prayer…”thy will be done”…and leave what you can’t control in the hands of God.– Father Bill

Hope Father Bill’s answer helps a bit. – CatholicView Staff


“My sister died after severe abuse from her
step-father and husband.  Her priest refused a
Funeral Mass.  Why?” Clara

 

CatholicView Staff:

My sister, after a life of severe physical abuse(stepfather and finally husband with a baseball bat) died. Coroner: Severe anorexia, abundant quantity of caffeine.  Priest REFUSED a Catholic Funeral Mass deeming it a suicide.  WHY?   CCC2280-2283.  I now FIRMLY believe CCC2284-2287 Applies to that priest. - Clara

 

Dear Clara:

I am so sorry to learn that your sister was refused a Catholic Funeral Mass.  The sorrow of losing your dear sister and then such a refusal seems too much to bear.

Remember that priests are human beings.  We shall leave this matter up to the God we serve.  He will take care of all things and make them right in the end.  Even now your sister, a Christian Catholic, is at peace seeing all the disciples, talking to the prophets, and seeing our Savior, Jesus Christ in person.  Take comfort in that, knowing that someday you will be re-united again with her, and will see her in perfect health and happiness, all the toils and suffering finally over forever.  Go in peace, knowing that God keeps His promises eternally. – CatholicView Staff

 
“My mom kicked me out to move in her
boyfriend.  Why did the Church approve the
eventual marriage?” - Cindy

CatholicView Staff:

Years ago my mom kicked me out of her home to move in her boyfriend. I didn't agree with him living with us.  She had just met him & married him a few weeks later without asking her kids how we felt about it.   Later on she married him in the Catholic Church.  How can the Church have approved of this marriage when she pushed her child aside for a man?  - Cindy

 

Cindy:

You do not say how old you were or the ages of your siblings at the time your mom moved her boyfriend into the home.  Were any of you underage?  Certainly this is disrespectful to children who depend on a parent to show them the Christian way of relationships.  Living together is adultery and to flaunt and break this commandment is a sin.  As to the marriage itself, the Church had no way of knowing what transpired during the time your mom’s boyfriend moved into the house until the time of the marriage.

Because you are still feeling hurt about this, I would suggest you see your parish priest and have a discussion so that you can close the “book” on this terrible pain and betrayal that you feel.

Do pray and ask God to lift this sadness from you.  May you find peace in this coming new year.  God bless you.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“What would you say to someone who blames
God for hardships?” - Geoffrey

CatholicView Staff:

What would you tell someone in your congregation that came to you and said they blamed God for their hardships? - Geoffrey

Dear Geoffrey:

Hardships will draw you closer to God, the Father.  You must learn to lean on Him.  Do not focus on the hardships and overlook all the blessings He gives; Do not concentrate only on your hardships, some of which you may be responsible for. 

Because man chose to sin those many years ago, Satan reigns on this earth.  And so all of us live in a fallen, evil place with sin, illness, and death entering the world through Satan. 

You must trust God.  He is your only salvation for He is there through your times of despair.  Although your human mind cannot grasp how a death or illness can be a positive thing, if you have faith that God is good and loves you then there must be a good reason for His not intervening.  You may be learning an important lesson that He wants you to know.

Evil exists.   You cannot escape it but you can trust that your prayers and your faith will carry you past it.  God promises to be with you always through the hardships, and though you do not always understand that He is there with His protective arm around you, He is and always will be there for you.

God gave you life as He gave you a way to live forever through that life.  He did not say it would be easy.  It wasn’t easy for Jesus either.  If you persevere, you will get the undeserving gift of eternal life where there will be no more evil, no pain, no suffering, no dying, no enemies, no starvation, no cancer and no more Satan, for Satan's destination is hell forever and forever.  And when Christ returns, the world will be what God intended.  He will wipe away all your tears in due time, but that time is not now. Not yet.

Trust in the God Who created you, Who even knows the number of hairs on your head, Who loves you so much He sent His Son to die shamefully for you and for all humanity.  You cannot find anything or anyone better than that.  So persevere and never give up.  Go with the peace of Almighty God Who sent His Son to purchase your free salvation; a purchase no amount of money or gold in the entire world can buy.  

Know anyone who would do that for you? – CatholicView Staff


“I went to confession but the priest did not ask me for
an Act of Contrition.”  - Chad          

CatholicView Staff:

I have recently returned to the Church after a 23 year absence. In a recent confession, after receiving the absolution, I cannot remember clearly if the priest dismissed me; he did not ask me for an Act of Contrition.

If I left confession early, before the priest intended, have I committed the sin of sacrilege and is the absolution invalid due to the lack of an act of contrition?   I did say one both before and after the confession. - Chad

 

Chad:

Your confession is valid.  You did all that is required by saying the Act of Contrition both before and after your confession.  God, Who reads our hearts, knows this.  If you desire to, there is no harm in returning to confessional and waiting for the priest to respond by asking you to say the Act of Contrition.  Be at peace.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“My wife was in a Greek Church.  A man there said
in Greek “Today is not the day they talk.”  
Can you explain”? – George

 

CatholicView Staff:

 

My wife went to a Greek church yesterday just to sit and cry as we had a few problems.   All the doors were closed and only the priest and one other man were there.  As she turned round towards the back of the church she saw a man who said to her in Greek.

“TODAY IS NOT THE DAY THEY TALK.”   Please can you tell me if you know what this might mean. -  Thank you

 

George:

I have no idea what this person was talking about.  There is nothing biblical here.  I am sorry that your wife did not ask what he meant by this.   Be at peace.  – CatholicView Staff

 
“Does the bible say it is ok for interracial
relationships?” - Aaron

CatholicView Staff:

Does the bible say it is ok for interracial relationships? – Aaron

 

Dear Aaron:  

The best answer to your question could be found in Paul’s letter to the Galations3:28 that reads, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus”.   

Divine law is equal and inclusive to all people; including the right to marry and of course, establish friendships.  Any other action goes against God’s plan for us.  – CatholicView Staff 

 
“Would God forgive suicide if the person had nowhere
to turn or no strength to go on?” - Jeffrey

CatholicView Staff:

I realize that Catholic dogma states that suicide is a mortal sin and that I would probably not make it to Heaven were I to commit suicide.  However, what answers can one give to somebody who is more afraid of living than dying?   What do you say to the person who finds the never-ending struggle of life simply not worth the trouble?  At the end, we are going to die anyway, so why bother with the struggle?   Is it not possible that God would be especially merciful to the person who feels that he/she has nowhere to turn or no strength to go on?  - Jeffrey

Jeffrey:

One cannot know how God will judge an individual and I cannot presume to set myself up in judgment.  Here is what The National Catholic Partnership of Disability has to say on this subject:

The depth of depression can rob a person of his or her desire to live. Over 90% of all deaths by suicide are a result of depression, implying a person is not in their “right” mind and therefore not capable of making a rational and moral decision. With the knowledge now available about suicide, about what precipitates the act itself and also the act’s tragic effect on survivors, the church takes a much more compassionate stance on this issue than it has in the past.

While God is the giver of life, and “we are obliged to accept life gratefully and preserve it,” there are occasions when a person resorts to this path as an only escape from deep psychological pain. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2280-2282.
http://www.ncpd.org/ministries-programs/micouncil/catechesis/suicide 

Jeffrey, we leave judgment to God alone.  However I would be very careful of such action, no matter what life is throwing out.  Our ways are not God’s ways.  You say that you do not have the strength to go on and nowhere to turn but this is precisely what the Lord can give you through prayer and obedience to the Lord.

You are so precious to the Lord.  Please call these hotlines for help:

National suicide prevention hotline 1 800 273 talk
24-hour Suicide Hotline  1.800.999.9999 or 1.800.784.2433
1-800- SUICIDE (24/7)
Suicide & Crisis Hotline 1-800-999-9999

If you have warning signs of suicide, go to the hospital, call 911, or call a suicide hotline (1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-784-2433) now.”

May you find peace through our Lord, Jesus Christ.  – CatholicView Staff


“I have lustful thoughts every day.  Have I committed
a mortal sin?” - Spiro

CatholicView Staff:

I am dealing with lustful thoughts every single day. I want to know if I maybe created the lustful thought even if I did nothing with it.   Just looked at the thought and after a second shook the thought off.  Have I commited mortal sin? - Spiro

Spiro:

A mortal sin is an act or thought which makes one turn away from God and toward something ungodly instead.   Being tempted is not a sin.  It's when we give in to that temptation that sin occurs.

We're human. As such, we're prone to think all sorts of sinful thoughts. We must try to curb this, and definitely never act on it.  God understands.  Because of our fallen nature, we must exercise a constant restraint on what we say, think and do.

And so, turn away from lustful thoughts and instead pray and ask the Lord to strengthen you to overcome, for impure thoughts will endanger your soul.  A simple prayer such as “Lord, help me to keep a clean mind” or “Lord, I put my trust in you” will cancel such thoughts.  You can make it, one prayer at a time.  God bless.  CatholicView Staff


“How can psychics know the future?”
- Caterina

CatholicView Staff:

How can psychics know the future?  How can they know if a person is not your soul mate if we have the freedom to choose our own mate? - Caterina

Caterina:

Psychics do NOT know the future.  No one does.  The future is not set and is always fluid.  Only God knows the future, not even the angels know the future.  So a psychic cannot tell you if a potential mate is good or bad for you without knowing something intimate about both of you. Marriage counselors make it their job to see if mates are compatible through a series of tests, questions, and human observation. 

If you have any serious questions or doubts about your potential mate, you should see a marriage counselor not a psychic.  By the way, to visit psychics is expressly forbidden by God and the Church.  We must rely on God alone.  Catechism (2116) tells us,  “All forms of divination are to be rejected: recourse to Satan or demons, conjuring up the dead or other practices falsely supposed to "unveil" the future.  Consulting horoscopes, astrology, palm reading, interpretation of omens and lots, the phenomena of clairvoyance, and recourse to mediums all conceal a desire for power over time, history, and, in the last analysis, other human beings, as well as a wish to conciliate hidden powers. They contradict the honor, respect, and loving fear that we owe to God alone.”

As Catholic Christians, we consider it sinful to try to foresee the future or to try to control our future by using sorcery, witchcraft or black magic because it violates the first commandment "I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have any gods before me". Any such activities practiced are wrong and God forbids it.  The bible tells us in Leviticus 20: 6-8  “I will also turn against those who commit spiritual prostitution by putting their trust in mediums or in those who consult the spirits of the dead. I will cut them off from the community.  So set yourselves apart to be holy, for I am the Lord your God.  Keep all my decrees by putting them into practice, for I am the Lord who makes you holy.”

Rely on your Christian judgment and prayer in regards to your concerns about your potential spouse.  Listen to your intuition.   If your heart is saying something is wrong, listen to it and seek counsel.  If you need help, find a marriage or relationship counselor (that is licensed by your state) or speak to your parish priest who is willing to help.  May God bless you in your search for truth. – CatholicView Staff

“I have an old communion set from a deceased
priest’s estate.  How do I dispose of the hosts?”
- Deloris

CatholicView Staff:

I came into possession of an old Communion set from a deceased priest's estate.  I assume the three Hosts included are consecrated.  How do I properly dispose of them? - Deloris

Deloris:

Interesting question.   What you have is a portable Mass kit and usually the priest keeps UNCONSECRATED hosts (just plain bread) in storage there until the priest says Mass with the kit.   A priest would use this kit to say Mass at a home, or at a hospital, or while on the road.  So, the hosts are probably not consecrated as this is usually done during the time the priest actually says Mass.   It is not our custom to SAVE a consecrated host in a Mass kit.  Since we cannot be certain whether it has been consecrated or not, it would be a good idea to place the three hosts in water (any container will do), and allow it to melt or break down.  Then you can place that water in your garden in the soil.  Do not throw the water down the drain.  Hope this helps.  Many blessings.    – CatholicView Staff


“I feel betrayed by my husband and his family. 
Help me please?” - Jessica

CatholicView:

I'm a newlywed bride of about 6 months.  I'm 21 years old and left my family, friends, and everything familiar to me to marry my husband.  I work a low paying job where I am constantly degraded so I can help him.  People on my husband's side have treated me with racism and disrespect.   Lately my husband told me that while I was at work one day he viewed a porn site and masturbated.  I feel betrayed.  I'm hurt.  I can't believe anymore when he says I love you or calls me beautiful because if he did he wouldn't have done this.  I feel so alone, Father.  I have a hard time making love to him.  I told him I forgive him but I feel like packing my bags and just running away from everybody right now.  I'm unable to trust him.  Father, give me one good reason why I shouldn't do anything drastic.  I've never felt more empty and alone in my life.  Help me.  Please.   I'm so tortured. - Jessica

Dear Jessica:

I am so sorry that you are facing such trauma, especially at the beginning of a new marriage.  Now is the time you must make a decision, however hard.  The most positive thing is that you have no children yet and this may be a blessing in disguise however sad.

I would strongly suggest that you go to speak with your parish priest immediately before you start a family and become entangled in a marriage that does not sound right for you.  You are young and deserve a husband who recognizes that you are trying hard to please him.  You do not say if your husband has a job or if you are the sole breadwinner.  

Your husband must not allow his family to treat you without respect in regard to your race.  This does not sound like a loving husband.  The bible clearly states that a man must leave his family and cleave to his wife.   

I must implore you to seek counsel before you go any further with this marriage.   Please seek help right now.  In your case you may want to get your own family’s support so you are not alone.  You may also may be entitled to an annulment so you can move on with your life and find someone who will love and honor you. 

Nothing will be easy at first.  Hear what your priest has to say after you explain everything in depth.

I will pray that you find peace and the happiness you deserve.  May God guide you in this important decision.

You are not alone.   God is with you.  You are loved.  - CatholicView Staff


“I pray but I feel God is not listening. 
Can you offer guidance?” - EJ

CatholicView Staff:

I have been empty since 1997 when my grandmother died.  I pray but I feel God is not listening.  How can I know if/when God is speaking to me and directing my steps? I am desperate for guidance?  - EJ

 

Dear EJ:

So many times we feel abandoned by God, filled with doubts, and wondering why we cannot feel His presence within us.  But this is the time when you must pray like you have never prayed before, asking the Lord to speak within your heart.  What you are feeling is not uncommon, as even Mother Teresa felt the same feeling of abandonment. 

Always remember that our time is not God's time.  Our ways are not His ways.  If you remain faithful and quietly listen with your heart, you will feel His presence.  He has promised to never leave us without giving us the strength and courage we need to move forward.

Here are some articles in CatholicView that might lend some insight:

ABANDONED

Losing Faith (G)

Does God Answer Prayer 

IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM  

That empty place 

Don't give up.  This is what Satan wants you to do.  Pray often, knowing that God hears each and every prayer you pray.  Go to your church and talk to your clergy.  Read your bible.  But NEVER give up the fight.  You are precious and you are loved!  - CatholicView Staff


“Although my sin is terrible, I am the only one
who knows about it.   What shall I do?” - Salvatore

CatholicView Staff:

Father, I have sinned. It is a terrible sin and I can no longer live with my guilt. Although my sin is terrible, I am the only one that knows about it. No one else knows what I have done. I need to be forgiven by God before I am able to forgive myself but I am afraid that if I were to make confession the Father would tell me that I need to let my family know. I cannot do that because my sin is so terrible it would rip apart my whole family. What should I do? Please save me!! - Salvatore

Hello Sal:

Please keep in mind that confession is anonymous because you are behind a closed curtain and the priest cannot see you.  Trust in the goodness of God, and leave your sin in the Hands of a Merciful God who knows everything anyway. Whether you tell your family or not depends on a matter of your conscience and a prayerful decision.

Go back to confession.   Hear what the priest has to say.  You might be surprised at what he will suggest you do about your situation.  Keep praying, and in prayer and in action find the peace that you are seeking.  Hope this helps you.  – CatholicView Staff


“What is proper etiquette for a non-Catholic
in attending Mass?” - Meredith

CatholicView Staff:

What is proper etiquette for a non-Catholic in attending Mass?  Should I make the Sign of the Cross?  I know to X myself for a blessing.  Are there other etiquette protocols I should be following?  I do not want to offend. - Meredith

 

Hello Meredith:

Don’t worry about following what everyone is doing the first time.  You can stand or sit as everyone else is doing or if you wish, remain seated.   If you decide to sit when others kneel, try to sit forward in the seat so those behind you can see the altar.  There are missals that are in front of each pew and you can read and follow along if you wish.  The choir director will usually announce the song and its page and you are invited to sing along if you want to.  At communion, maybe you can sit at the end of the pew so that you can move out to let the others go for communion.  As a non-Catholic, if you want to receive a blessing, go for it, making sure you cross or fold your arms on your chest (the X position is perfect as you mentioned) so the priest or Ministers of the Eucharist will know you want a blessing only.  Communion is reserved for practicing Catholics only.

Just enjoy the mass, respectfully knowing that you are in the house of God. We welcome you!  - CatholicView Staff 


“Can a divorced man become a priest?”  Ed

CatholicView Staff:

Can a divorced man become a priest?  He has one child and both his former wife and his child understand his calling to become a priest. Therefore an annulment would not be an issue for the former wife. – Ed

 

Ed:

Yes, it is possible for a divorced man to become a priest under some circumstances.  However, he must get an annulment from the church that declares the marriage was invalid.  The children are still considered legitimate. – CatholicView Staff


“When did the Church start celebrating
Christ’s birthday?” - Eric

CatholicView Staff:

When did the church start celebrating Christ's birthday, and why do we celebrate it on December 25th? - Eric

Dear Eric:

According to the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus was born near the end of Herod's reign which would place his birth at 6-4 BCE. 

Answers.Com states, “The Bishops of Rome began celebrating the birth of Christ on December 25th”.  (http://wiki.answers.com/Q/When_did_celebrating_Jesus%27_birthday_on_December_25th_start)  Before this Christians did not celebrate the birth of Christ.  Hope this helps.  – CatholicView Staff 

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