FATHER KEVIN BATES,SM CATHOLICVIEW STAFF  "My child has Spina Bifida. How can I explain why she has this?" - Cheryl Father Bill: I am the mother of a Spina Bifida child. She asks us why she has Spina Bifida and we remind her that she is a very important part of God's plan (many parts of one body). I often pray for God's grace for her and myself in coping and accepting all that comes along with her special needs. Should I be praying for a medical miracle of physical healing (which I know He is capable of doing) or for continued patience and acceptance of what is our reality. It seems like 2 opposite ends of the prayer spectrum. She and I are both so grateful for so many blessings that I don't feel worthy to ask God for anything more (and we fully embrace this cross we bear), and yet I certainly wouldn't want her to miss touching Jesus' garments if she had a chance. I know God understands, but if I am called to beg for my prayers, which direction should I go? - Cheryl
Dear Cheryl: What a wonderful, loving, and faith filled question! I would say don't worry about which direction to go with your prayers. Pray any way you want to pray. Pray for that miracle. Pray for those doing research on human genetics. Pray for other families who have children with special needs. Pray for your own needs and those of your child. In a way, I think you really answer your own question when you say, "I know God understands. Yes, he does. God understands our humanity more intimately than we do. After all, He is our Creator, and He has even shared our humanity in the person of His Son Jesus, Who Himself prayed for a miracle in the Garden of Gethsemane just hours before His crucifixion. This was one miracle that did not happen. Instead, Jesus submitted to the will of His Father and became the greatest miracle in all of history. Truly, Cheryl, life is filled with miracles. I know you already know this, because in your question you say "(She and I are both so grateful for so many blessings...and we fully embrace this cross we bear)". You also say, "I don't feel worthy to ask God for anything more". Here is where I would remind you that none of us have to be "worthy" to ask God for help in our need. Your gratitude for what you already have is a solid foundation for your prayers. The "more" for which you want to pray is a "more" that is filled with love and hope. By all means pray for "more". If a miracle happens. then we can all praise the wonders of our God. Then again, maybe the miracle is already here. - Father Bill
Father Bill: I am not a very religious person, but after all what has happened to me, I've become more religious. My brother got leukemia and he only had a chance of living by getting a bone marrow transplant. The odds of matching are very scarce, but I knew I was a match before taking the test. I saved my brother from cancer. He lived five years longer but suffered. It was from all the drugs he took to fight that horrible disease. This is where it gets weird. My brother was was dying and it was around Christmas. He died on December 24th which is Christmas Eve, but not only was it Christmas Eve, it was also my birthday. Why would he die on my birthday? That's just rather odd. What's odd is that your family member dies on your birthday, and odd also is that I save him for a short period of time with a bone marrow transplant. That's my question, what does this mean? Please answer my question. - Chad
Dear Chad: What an awesome thing you did for your brother! I must say I envy you. For many years I was on the bone marrow donor registry, and I really hoped and prayed that someday I would be called upon to donate. It never happened. I came close once and was typed for a match, but it did not pan out. Since 60 is the cut-off age for bone marrow donors, I'm now well past being eligible. I would encourage reads to seriously consider signing up for the bone marrow donor registry. There is a lot of information on this website, including how to go about signing up: http://www.marrow.org/. Please accept my sympathy on the death of your brother. Leukemia is a cruel disease. It took my baby sister back in 1951. That's one of the reasons why I signed up for the donor registry. Why your brother would die on your birthday is a question that I cannot answer, Chad. Death is a very mysterious moment. There have been a number of times when I have been present at the moment of someone's death, and it always leaves me in awe. There have been a few times when it seemed pretty obvious that a parishioner actually waited until I got there to do the Anointiing of the Sick and pray with the family, then died in peace. There is a special calendar that I use on almost a daily basis that, among other things, gives the names of the priests and deacons from the five dioceses of Wisconsin (that’s where I live) who have died on any given date; this l list goes all the way back to the 1800s. For most days of the year there are almost always right around ten listed. On Christmas day there are only two. Until 1993 there had been only one. This has always intrigued me, and I’ve come to the conclusion that, in many cases, we humans are able to exercise some discretion as to when to let go of this life. Apparently most priests and deacons in Wisconsin prefer not to die on Christmas Day. It would not at all surprise me that your brother, as he was dying, tried his best to hang on until your birthday because he wanted to celebrate it with you. Or perhaps dying on your birthday was his way of acknowledging the gratitude and intimacy he shared with you for the gift of years you had given him. You were born on December 24; he was born into eternal life…on your birthday. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but whatever the reason for his dying on your birthday, I think it’s something pretty special. Due to your gift of marrow, you had a bond that went beyond a sibling tie. God bless you, Chad. Your generosity gave life to your brother. May he now live in your heart until you are once again united in the Heavenly Kingdom. - Father Bill
Father Bill: My Catholic friend is teaching me Catholic dogma/ The Church teaches the Assumption of Mary because on August 15, 2004, in a homily given at Lourdes, Pope John Paul II quoted John 14:3 as one of the scriptural bases for understanding the dogma of the Assumption of Mary. In this verse, Jesus tells His disciples at the Last Supper, "If Igo and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and will receive you to myself; that where I am, you may be there also." According to Catholic theology, Mary is the pledge of the fulfillment of Christ's promise. My questions are. (1. Where in the Bible does it say Mary was in the room @ the Last Supper? and (2). Why is this a promise of the bodily taking up of the Virgin Mary into Heaven at the end of her life and not just a promise of salvation that is given to all who receive Christ? God bless and Thank you for your Time. - Steven
Dear Steven, Catholic teaching about the role of Mary in God’s plan is perhaps one of the greatest hurdles for those who are trying to understand the Catholic faith. This is true even for Catholics, believe it or not. For example, a short time ago I was talking with a young Catholic man who had recently graduated from a Catholic high school. He was interviewing me for an assignment in his college sociology course, and one of his questions had to do with the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception of Mary. I was fascinated by the fact that this young man, supposedly reasonably well schooled in his Catholic faith, completely misunderstood this doctrine. He thought it referred to Mary conceiving Jesus without human intervention! Well, as I explained to him what the doctrine really was, I reassured him that ninety-nine percent of all non-Catholics would have made the same mistake…and so would ninety percent of all Catholics. So, Steven, don’t be surprised if these Marian teachings are a bit of a struggle for you—and maybe even for your Catholic friend who’s teaching you Catholic dogma. Fortunately, the doctrine of Mary’s Assumption does not get quite so lost in the murk of misunderstanding as the Immaculate Conception does. Most people understand that Mary’s Assumption is about her being taken up to heaven body and soul, without having gone through the kind of death that all the rest of us must experience. What most people don’t understand is where this teaching comes from. After all, there is nothing in the Bible that says Mary was assumed into heaven. On the other hand, there is nothing in the Bible that would exclude the possibility, either. The passage which you cite in your question, John 14:3, is certainly not meant to refer exclusively to Mary, but it certainly must include her. So, to directly answer your question (2), this verse is not a “promise of the bodily taking up of the Virgin Mary into Heaven at the end of her life”. Rather, it is an expression of Jesus’ will that we all join him in the heavenly kingdom. It is the Church’s position that surely Jesus would will this for His mother above all other humans. I haven’t completely finished with your question (2), but before going on, I’d like to address your question (1): was Mary present at the Last Supper? Since the Bible doesn’t say she was, we can’t know for sure. However, do we have to assume that only “the twelve” were there? In the Gospel of John we are told that He ate with “His disciples”; that would be a group larger than “the twelve”. The three Synoptic Gospels say that He ate with “the twelve” (Matthew and Mark) or with “the apostles” (Luke). Do we have to assume that no one else was there? Who did the cooking? Who served the meal? The twelve were definitely present, but isn’t it quite possible that other disciples were too—including Mary His mother and the other two women who even went to Calvary with him? The older I get (I’ll be 70 in May), the more I have found it spiritually helpful to read the Bible, and especially the New Testament, as if it is a beginning rather than an end. It’s delightful to consider the possibility that the Last Supper involved a whole crowd of Jesus’ disciples, all but one of whom loved Jesus and appreciated the role of the twelve apostles. In this scenario one can imagine Jesus’ mother being present, as well as Lazarus and his sisters Martha and Mary. In fact, when one stops to think about it, why would they not have been there, along with possibly many others? The fact that the Bible doesn’t say they were, does not mean that they were not. The dogma of the Assumption of Mary was proclaimed by Pope Pius XII in 1950. Was this some new invention by the Catholic Church? Does it contradict the Bible? To both questions we can readily say “No!” The tradition that Mary, the beloved mother of a son whose love knows no bounds, would share completely in his victory over sin and death is almost as ancient as the Christian Church itself. The Eastern Rites and Orthodox Churches use the word “dormition”, rather than assumption, meaning that Mary didn’t die; rather she “slept” into the fullness of the heavenly kingdom. Jesus, in his love for her, has made her his Queen, sharing completely in His victory. As such, she is the model for what the Church will someday be. None of this contradicts the Bible. If anything, it sheds new light on passages like John 14:3, and it gives a fresh perspective to passages that range from Genesis 3:15 to Revelation 19. Mary, as the mother of Jesus sharing fully in the glory of his resurrection, is the model for the future of the Church as the Bride of Christ. I must say, Steven, that your questions really got me to putting into words some thoughts that have been rattling around in my brain for some time. I don’t know if I really answered your questions, but I’m grateful that you asked them and gave me this opportunity to deepen my own understanding of the Church’s Marian doctrines. Thank you, and may God bless you. - Father Bill
Father Kevin: I go to
schools that believe a Christian needs to have a salvation moment in order to accept God
into their lives. Is this true for Catholics? - Eric
Hi Eric, The notion of a “salvation moment” is not something that figures in our Catholic piety really. It’s a phrase that is used mostly by evangelical and fundamentalist Christians. In being baptised and living out our baptism we fulfill God’s desires for us. From time to time we may have moments of real spiritual closeness where we become aware of God’s presence, God’s call, God’s challenge and these are all helpful to our salvation if we respond to them. Our conversion is not a one-off event but the work of a lifetime in cooperation with God’s grace. Our Evangelical friends when they use this term, "salvation moment" usually mean a moment of decision to give our lives over into God's hands in Jesus. As Catholics we do this every day, every time we celebrate the Eucharist, confess our sins, give to the poor, and so on. Good Wishes. - Father Kevin
Father Kevin:
Hi Hunter, Jesus once told us not to judge each other. I think
that is really good advice. We are ultimately responsible for our own salvation and
we can happily entrust our Mormon friends to God’s mercy and love. Many
Christians
"Does God WANT us to suffer for Him?" - Mark
Father Kevin:
HI Mark, Yes you’re right, lots of the saints did
suffer a lot. Maybe they were there to remind us that suffering is part of every
life and that when we suffer, we are to do so with great faith in God’s
promises. I have conducted three funerals for three different families this week who
are all grieving the loss of their loved ones. They are all coming to terms with this
suffering in the light of their faith each in his or her own way. It makes no sense going out looking for suffering, it will come to us as sure as each sunrise! God wants us to be happy. Our first Australian Saint, St Mary of the Cross MacKillop was canonized last year and this brought great joy to the Australian Church. She certainly had her share of suffering but that was not her main thing. She was a woman of faith, courage, love for poor children, and had a great love for life. She even enjoyed a glass or two of something good to warm her heart now and then! Many of the Saints are great fun, and that is their gift. Their suffering was never their end point, but rather their faith in Jesus’ promises no matter what. They give us as much witness to the Resurrection as to the Cross. If they didn’t they wouldn’t be very good Saints as they would miss out on a central element of our faith-life, namely the Rising of Jesus from the dead, and what greater joy can we have than that hope, even as we suffer? Saints are real people who lived as we live, and
with great faith. If we focus only on their suffering, we miss the point of their
presence in the Church. Good wishes. - Father Kevin
CatholicView Staff: If a Catholic remarries after divorce with no annulment and then goes to confession to confess he or she remarried, is he or she forgiven and then allowed to receive the sacrament the sacraments? - Al
Dear Al: Interesting question. Remarriage without
annulment won't go away with just confession. In the eyes of the
Church you are still married to your first wife. To rectify this, see your priest
and set up an appointment to
discuss your options. He will be able to help you with an annulment if
necessary and once this is settled, he will set a time to have
your current marriage blessed. Thanks for writing to us. - CatholicView
Staff
CatholicView Staff: If God exists then what did He do before creating Man? - Liviu
Liviu: Thank you for your question. You ask if God exists and what did He do before creating man? The bible teaches that God was, is, and always shall be. There is no way we humans can know this except what He shows us in the bible. My answer to you is that when you meet Almighty God, you can ask Him. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My husband is non-catholic and does not want my
child to be Catholic, what do I do? He sites the Church's
recent problems with child molestation and creationism as reasons he does not want our
daughter to grow up in
the Catholic faith. How do I counter this? - Brea
Brea: I am sorry that you and your husband cannot come to a solution concerning whether your child should be raised in your faith. Your husband is looking at the humanity of priests who strayed and not those who have given their lives to serve others faithfully. Priests are human beings just like us, and are subject to sin. They are not all perfect even though we would like to believe they are infallible. But, sadly, all are not. Because some fall into sin does not mean the whole priesthood is corrupt. May I suggest that you and you husband make an
appointment to talk to your priest together and bring these objections to light? You
will gain a fresh approach and a third perception that may be beneficial to the both of
you. In the meantime, pray about this situation and ask God to show you what will be
best for your child. May
the Lord guide you in this matter. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff:
I have a relative who told me she is gay and
planning a commitment ceremony. I have strong feelings that this
is not right. They are making it like a wedding. I feel I should not
attend. What should I do? Thank you.
Dear Susan: As you know the Church does not condone same sex
unions. Obviously, you do not want to hurt your friend by
not being there. Should you decide you do not want to attend, tell your friend
you do not feel comfortable going
to the ceremony. But remember that if you do decide to attend, it does not mean you
sanction the union. God bless.
CatholicView Staff: I've been a devout Catholic all my life (I'm 23). I tend to obsess over things. As a teenager, I would thank God on my way to school for making a light, thank God for a restaurant being open when I needed it, thank God for a song coming on the radio. Now that I'm older, I find myself questioning myself every time I want to thank God and stressing myself out. It seems crazy (and feels kind of crazy...), but that thankfulness really fostered a close relationship with God, and now I feel like I have to watch my step, or am not thanking him for the proper things, or He'll be upset that I'm thanking him for certain things. I don't want to have to think Well, this hotel room was so expensive, maybe God wouldn't have wanted me to get it... Well, even though this is the best part of my stressful day, maybe God wouldn't want me to watch TV online and on the cable I pay for... Well, maybe God wouldn't want me thanking him that great night out with my friends because they're not always a great influence. I mean, these kinds of things plague me ALL DAY. Again, I know it sounds crazy, but should I be hyper-analyzing everything I thank God for like this? It's literally impossible to pick through the pros and cons of every decision before I thank God. Should I save my "thank you's" before I go to bed and just enjoy my life without all the stress of being a bad Christian? Help! - Alicia
Dear Alicia: Praise God for what you do in thanking Him throughout the day! God never tires of hearing thanks from us. He loves and cares for us. God must be happy that you thank Him for all the blessings He has given you. He already knows your heart and sees within you the great love and devotion you have for Him. But there is also nothing wrong in anticipating the quiet time in the evening that you will spend with the Lord in prayer, thanking Him for all He has given to you. God bless you for your loving devotion. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Can I marry a non-Catholic ? - Trina
Dear Trina: Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! Both partners do not have to be a Catholic in order to be sacramentally married in the Catholic Church. A Catholic can marry a person who has not been baptized, but such marriages are natural marriages only; they are not sacramental marriages. A Catholic may marry another Christian (a 'mixed marriage') so long as he/she promises to do his/her best to raise any children in the Catholic faith but the non-Catholic is to be aware of this promise. It is normally sufficient for the priest or deacon acting as Church witness to fill out some brief paper work. Yes, a man can marry a Catholic woman, even if he is not Catholic. The requirements for the marriage to be valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church are that the spouse that is Catholic must remain so. Any children that results from the union should be raised in the Catholic faith. (Catechism of the Catholic Church: 1633-36) Hope this helps! - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I got pregnant out of wedlock, but I did end up marrying the father and we have been married for almost 6 years now. (Although we did not get married in the Catholic church). Anyway, will I be forgiven for getting pregnant out of wedlock?
Laura: I am pleased that you are now happy and raising a
family. If you realized your sin and have gained
confession by praying to God and going to confession for Reconciliation with the Church
and God, know
you have been forgiven. Please see your parish priest and make arrangements to have
your marriage blessed. It can be a private blessing. Get details when you talk
to your priest.
CatholicView Staff: Is it heresy and a mortal sin to believe that God (the epitome of perfect and eternal love) can forgive someone if a person died in a state of mortal sin, but realized that God was real after dying, and sincerely wanted to become a better person and not sin? I'm not trying to justify sin, but can anyone who chooses God in the end be spared from hell? - Eric
Eric: You ask if a person who dies in mortal sin WITHOUT asking for forgiveness can ask God after they die to forgive him/her. No, they cannot be forgiven. You see, this lifetime is where we choose to obey God and believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ. Once breath has left the body, it is over. Consider the rich man in the bible and the beggar Lazarus in Luke 16:19-31: "Jesus said, “There was a certain rich man who was splendidly clothed in purple and fine linen and who lived each day in luxury. At his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus who was covered with sores. As Lazarus lay there longing for scraps from the rich man’s table, the dogs would come and lick his open sores. “Finally, the poor man died and was carried by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried, and his soul went to the place of the dead. There, in torment, he saw Abraham in the far distance with Lazarus at his side. “The rich man shouted, ‘Father Abraham, have some pity! Send Lazarus over here to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue. I am in anguish in these flames.’ “But Abraham said to him, ‘Son, remember that during your lifetime you had everything you wanted, and Lazarus had nothing. So now he is here being comforted, and you are in anguish. And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there.’ “Then the rich man said, ‘Please, Father Abraham, at least send him to my father’s home. For I have five brothers, and I want him to warn them so they don’t end up in this place of torment.’ “But Abraham said, ‘Moses and the prophets have warned them. Your brothers can read what they wrote.’ “The rich man replied, ‘No, Father Abraham! But if someone is sent to them from the dead, then they will repent of their sins and turn to God.’ “But Abraham said, ‘If they won’t listen to Moses and the prophets, they won’t listen even if someone rises from the dead.’” BUT, IF ON THE DEATHBED, a person asks God for forgiveness and are truly sorry for sins committed, then yes, God will forgive even if that person is dying. And yes, they will be saved, for they are recognizing the enormity of their sins and have asked our heavenly Father for forgiveness. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have, over the past few
months, been reading about various psychological/mental disorders. Based on what I've observed about my behaviors and what I've read, I feel I may be afflicted to
some degree with a Bipolar Disorder. I mentioned wanting to have a psychological
evaluation done to my parents, and they responded with fear and anger. My father
believes that psychological disorders do not exist. It is his opinion that the more
severe symptoms are caused by demonic entities, and that the rest are merely weaknesses in
the character of the afflicted. I cannot say whether or not this is true, but as we
are practicing Roman Catholics, I thought I would ask for the Church's stance on such
matters. - Dan
Dear Dan: Absolutely, mental issues such as Bipolar Disorder do exist as well as other mental disorders. If you are over 18 years old, and have some income, you entitled to find care on your own. Such issues are physical and will be treated this way. And yes, they are real. Please see a doctor. Discuss your situation and find out how they can help you. If you do not have a job, there are also free and charitable places to go, depending on where you live. There is State Aid, and Medi-cal or Medicare. Also I suggest you see your parish priest who may be able to refer you to other places in your area where you can seek help. I pray that you find peace. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff:
Does living with my boyfriend before marriage make my prayers unacceptable to God? - Aggie
Aggie:
From your letter to us, it
seems that you know you are in great danger of losing your soul because you are committing
the mortal sin of fornication. This can never be acceptable to God. But yes,
He always hears your prayers because He loves you and wants you to live righteously. If you are sorry for living
this adulterous life, you must pray and ask God to forgive you, but first you must Please see your parish
priest. Sit down with him and tell him what you are doing and let him explain how
you
CatholicView Staff: My daughter is currently dating a guy who went to college intending to become a Benedictine monk. However, since meeting her, they have decided to date in order to determine if he's being called to a religious vocation. We have tried to convince them that this is NOT the proper way to discern a religious vocation and that they should stop dating if they wish to properly discern as they need "quiet time" alone to listen to God's call. Are we right about our assessment that a young man should not "use" a young woman in order to discern his call to religious life? - Carol
Dear Carol: I would advise that you talk to your daughter and tell her that if this young man is serious about the priesthood, he should not be dating at this time. To use someone as a measure to determine if he is called means he is not truly called. Unfortunately, should this man decide to become a Benedictine Monk, your daughter will be hurt and left to pick up the pieces of her life. You are right in your assessment of this situation. Pray that your daughter can see that she is being used, perhaps not intentionally but nevertheless used. Pray for her. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Glad to stumble across this website because I'm a Catholic and in dire need of advice that I think a priest can help with. I'm kind of caught in the middle of a problem between my older sister (who is my roommate) and my parents. We are of Asian descent and my older sister is seriously dating a man who is outside the race and isn't Catholic. I don't have an opinion on the matter, but my parents are totally against it, due to the fact he's outside the race/religion. After many arguments with my older sister and parents, my older sister stopped speaking with my parents. Now, I'm caught in the middle because my parents are coming to me with the guilt of losing their daughter and still feel what my sister is doing is wrong. They are also reaching out to me because my sister refuses to take their calls. The ask to me to talk to her to convince them to stop dating (which I don't because I know it will make matters worse), but I don't know what to do. My sister is very stubborn. I would love to keep the peace with my family, but I have no idea how to go about it. I don't want things to fall apart with my family. Please, I hope you can offer some insight to help me achieve some peace of mind with this situation. Thank you so much.
Shanna: I am sorry to hear that you are being mentally pulled in so many directions. You are in a situation that could cause an alienation from both your sister and your parents unless you remain neutral, even though you may want to help your sister and your parents. When you relay your sister's comment to your parents from your sister, I would strongly advise that you do not pass along comments of your own. Stay detached, if you can, and do not pass judgment or take sides if this is possible and stay passive. This will help each side to think things through. If you indulge in a "back and forth" argument, it would be wise to refrain from adding your own thoughts on this matter, and you may avoid causing a breach that may be hard to mend. Be sympathetic to both your sister and your parents but do not add anything to the situation, especially judgments. Keep your observations to yourself. Your sister does not want family to interfere, even though I am sure she knows their parental love for her as well as your love. Your sister is a grownup and no one can tell her at this time how to live her life and any intrusion will shut off her contact with you as well. Pray for her. Ask the Lord to help your sister see her choice clearly. If she is adamant about seeing this man, there is nothing you can do expect pray that she sees the reality of her relationship and her actions toward and what it might mean to be unequally yoked to someone who does not share her culture, and most importantly her faith. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My ex-wife left me and our 3 children 17 years ago and moved in with another man. I received a divorce document in the mail 4 years ago and shortly after that my ex-wife married that man. All this time I did not go out on a single date. Now I have met a woman and we go to movies and out to dinner. We occasionally hold hands and I give her a quick goodnight kiss. Am I doing wrong? I want to do the right thing. Paul: Thank you for doing the right thing in face of such calamity. You have raised your family and God is well pleased with you. And CatholicView is happy to know that you have found a very nice lady after so many years of solitude. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing and I applaud you for living a clean, Christian life. There is one thing you must do however. You must get an annulment if you have plans to marry again. In the eyes of the Church, you are still married to your first wife. This needs to be corrected as soon as possible so the way will be open should you decide to marry again. See your parish priest and begin the proceedings. You will have no problem getting an annulment. May the good Lord bless you and your family. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My mother has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and suffers with prescription drug abuse. I have assisted her into treatment programs but she refuses to help herself. She is very manipulative and her selfish and dysfunctional behavior has driven me to cut all ties with her for the emotional safety of both me and my children. I carry a heavy burden that I am disobeying God but I do not know how to protect myself and my children without cutting her out. - Katie
Dear Katie: I am so sorry to hear of your mother's Bipolar disorder. Because of the necessity of taking drugs to maintain normal day to day issues, these drugs can sometimes cause prescription abuse. Have you talked to your mother's doctor about
this? Perhaps he could recommend a solution or switch her medication, and hopefully
this might help a bit. If your mother is a great hindrance to the safety of your children, then you must protect your children. If your mother is a serious
threat, I believe God would understand that you would want to protect your children, for
He sees all that is happening. But, if at all possible, do not abandon your mother
completely. Try all possible routes to get her help since she cannot help
herself. May God help you during this trying time.
CatholicView Staff: I was recently diagnosed with SLE (Lupus). I am working on controlling my symptoms. In addition to expected symptoms (this runs in my family) I am weak, shaky and dizzy with little reason. I have very young children to care for, so I can't just sit down when I need to. Lent is coming. I would like to fast as appropriate. (I usually do all Lenten Fridays) I am concerned that I may have a hard time with this. I need to take care of my family, and be safe. I am also scared, and don't feel comfortable with sharing that much with my congregation at this time. I have fantastic support, but the pain and fatigue are wearing on me, and making it harder to deal with kind questions from friends. In addition, if I break down and feel like I need pain meds, which require food, is that ok? - Julia Julia: I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis of Lupus. Please do not be concerned about fasting. Know that God sees and understands. Although your sacrifice is a great tribute to your faith, if it impairs your health, you must follow what your doctor tells you. God loves you Julia, for your devotion and trust in Him. He also understands that you need to be able to take care of your family and this is what He wants you to do. You may not be able to fast during this Lenten season if it jeopardizes your well being. Please explain this to your children. Now go in faith knowing that the Lord is with you always . - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I was baptized in a Baptist church at age 8, married at 18 to a very controlling abusive man who also cheated constantly and got divorced at 19. I have considered myself Catholic since I was 22 but until this year have not had the time due to work, school, and taking care of my son to attend an R.C.I.A. program. When I began the R.C.I.A .class at my local parish I was told I would need to get an annulment before I remarried WHEN I decided to get remarried (no plans-I am living a chaste life at this point and am not dating anyone either) but could do first communion and confirmation BEFORE I was granted an annulment. Another lady and I are in the same R.C.I.A. class was told by one of the lay people who conducts the class that we could NOT receive first communion or conformation until we had our respected annulments. I have looked through the Catechism and have not found anywhere where it says that - I am aware one must first go to confession to receive first communion and that's fine, been wanting to do confession for a while now. Can you please clarify what the church teaches on this, DOES one HAVE to have an annulment BEFORE getting first communion / conformation (for those going through the R.C.I.A. program)? or was what we were told false? I am very unhappy and very frustrated in my heart and soul Catholic - Rebecca
Rebecca: If you had remarried without an annulment or planned to remarry in the Catholic Church, then you would need an annulment. Since you have not remarried, you do not need an annulment at this time. You will need one if you choose to remarry in the future. Right now, the Church views your first marriage as still valid until you do. You do not need an annulment to join the Church. The only time an annulment would become necessary to join the Church is if you are already in a second marriage or if you plan to remarry in the Catholic Church. Should you decide to remarry, the annulment process takes 6 months to one year. Speak to you priest and clarify all that you read here. Welcome to our Church. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am an Atheist (not willing to convert) and my boyfriend is a practicing Catholic. We're at the point where we're starting to talk about marriage, and I was wondering what our options for marriage are? Emma: I am sure you understand that you are not equally yoked for this marriage. You are someone who does not believe in God and you are marrying a practicing Catholic who does believe in God and Jesus Christ as his Savior. Would you allow your children be Catholic? And do you understand that your boyfriend will be attending mass alone, and must do so without interference from you? I think that you and your boyfriend should talk to
a priest together. Since you are a strong Atheist, this is a major problem but one
that can be addressed by a Catholic priest in person. I hope this sheds a bit of
light on your situation. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My family is Catholic and would very much like my
husband and I to baptize our daughter-to-be (due this Spring). I was raised in the
Church but am not currently a practicing Catholic - my husband was baptized Episcopalian
but raised without any particular religious instruction. While we both intend to
educate our daughter as to the importance of faith and religion, at this point we cannot
commit to raising her Catholic. Samantha: Thank you for your question. I am happy that you plan to educate your wonderful daughter on the importance of faith and religion, but I am sorry to hear that your child will not have the benefit of Church going parents. If you cannot commit to raising your child in the Catholic faith, we can only pray that one day your child will come to faith on her own. Please consider the example parents set by their
own unfaithfulness to God. However, we pray that you will be successful in educating
your daughter about God and faith. May God bless your new little one.- CatholicView
Staff
CatholicView Staff: My daughter just took her own life, will you pray for us? and most important how will she be judged? Tom
Tom: I am so sorry to hear that you lost your daughter through suicide. Losing a cherished child this way is undoubtedly one of the most difficult experiences any parent can endure. The Catholic Church, in the past, believed that suicide was a free act of Will, and people who committed suicide did so with full mental capacity. Today this is no longer true. Through medical progress over the years, it has been proven that some who commit suicide have gone through an agonizing, emotional, physical, and mental pain that we cannot understand or imagine, and it obscures that person's judgment and decision making, causing the mind to overshadow and block out the normal instinct for survival. It does not allow free will to function. Therefore, depending on this unique situation, the Church does not see all suicides as an eternity in hell. Keep in mind that God, in His abundant love and grace sees the person's anguish and the inability to survive because of this disablement of senses. And thankfully, God can read that person's heart and sees everything leading to this sad choice, hence some people who commit suicide do so outside of their free will and are not culpable of sin. Please accept that you could not change what happened to your beloved daughter. You did the very best you could at the time. If you are carrying a heavy load of guilt, you are confining yourself to an emotional prison. Keep in mind that sin only occurs by a free act of the will, when a person has the faculties of clear thought. We are going to pray that you find peace knowing that our God is a merciful God Who has seen everything your daughter has gone through. He was there during your daughter's turmoil and struggles and at the moment of her death and we will pray that He did not find her wanting, that His grace has carried her to her eternal home where she will find unending joy and happiness. We will ask this through our Savior, Jesus Christ. Tom, I ask that you put
everything in God's Hands. Trust in His mercy and be at peace. God's
blessings always to you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I had a 'missed miscarriage', meaning that there was a growing sack but no baby. The doctor says it's possible that either the baby was absorbed or died upon conception. Do I grieve as though my baby is in heaven or that one never existed? Please help me understand the Church's take on this. - Karen Karen: I am sorry you are going through this sadness. If the doctor cannot determine whether there was a baby or it was absorbed, it become a grief that has no definition. But you can assume, rightfully or not that something did exist. I would suggest that you hold a possible baby in remembrance through prayer. There is no harm in that. God gives life to us and we have to honor it, whether it is conclusive or not. Hold close your child in your heart. Grieve
if you feel the need, for it is a special cleansing of mind, and ask the Lord to bless and
welcome your baby into His eternal kingdom. - Go in peace. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: In an attempt to understand more about my faith, I decided to read the bible this year, cover to cover. Thus far, there are many parts of the Old Testament, that depict God as saying and doing things that are very troubling to me. Has the Church ever issued a statement that the bible's depiction of God is morally wrong?
Dear Dante: God IS the final word and can never, ever be morally wrong. We cannot change His Word. Those who try to do this will have to answer someday to a perfect God. God does not make mistakes which need to be corrected by humans. We were created by God. We did not create God. The Church can only follow what God
has commanded. Those who wrote the bible were under the Divine influence of Almighty
God. Therefore the Church cannot rewrite what is written there. St.
Peter, the Apostle of Jesus Christ writes in 1 Peter 1: 24-25: "As the
Scriptures say, 'People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the
field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord
endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto
you'". Let's hope this helps a bit. - CatholicView
Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am about to undergo cardioversion in hospital but I personally am feeling forced into having this procedure done and don't really want it as I feel fine without it. What are the moral implications of refusing or declining this treatment ? - Daithi Daithi: For the sake of our readers, Cardioversion is a medical procedure performed to restore a normal heart rhythm for people who have certain types of abnormal heartbeats (arrhythmias). Cardioversion is most often performed by sending electric shocks to your heart through electrodes placed on your chest. Sometimes, your doctor may perform cardioversion using only medications to restore your heart's rhythm. Since CatholicView can only surmise which one the doctor will use, we can only say that if your life is being threatened by your health situation, certainly you would not want to sacrifice yourself to ill health. There are some risks but on the whole, cardioversion may be the only way to secure your health. The Catholic tradition understands that life is a value that must be protected. Talk again to your doctor and discuss your reasons for not wanting this done. I think the moral implications would depend on whether you mean to ignore life giving value to yourself or that you feel the whole surgery is not necessary to your good health. Remember that God understands your fears. Please pray about this
situation. CatholicView will pray for you also. - CatholicView
Staff
CatholicView Staff: What does it say about domestic violence in the bible regarding if the relationship should stay together or be apart? Can it work out? - Marlene
Marlene: God does not want a wife to stay in a marriage if there is danger or life threatening situations. I am assuming that you have talked to your parish priest and or a professional marriage counselor. You do not say if your have children in this union. If you have not pursued getting marital help,
please call your church and speak to your priest who can advise you and your
husband. He will also give you names of professionals who will help you.
Please do not delay. If your situation is really serious, move out. God knows
everything and He would not want anything to harm you or any possible children. And
don't forget to pray, asking God to guide you during this time of crisis. May the
Lord bless you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff:
I am in the process of getting an annulment. I have met a man. While we are "dating" our relationship is not sexual. I was informed by my priest that this is still sinful and moral in the eyes of the Church. Is this true? - Erin
Erin: Catholic Answers writes
"Being in a relationship with someone before knowing the outcome of your nullity
petition might be imprudent-- but it is NOT a sin. Not unless by
"relationship" you mean sexual relationship.
CatholicView Staff: I feel very lost in my life and I wish to seek guidance and wisdom. I feel I have nothing to live for in life but to wait for my life to end. It seems like everyone in this world is just in a routine of a life cycle. Make babies, baby grows, education, work, have a family and start the life cycle all over again. The other night I started
reading a simple book that explains what is GOD/Bible. It said we are punished for the sin
the first mankind had caused (that God had created). Because they disobeyed and ate the
apple and now we are punished in the human life to serve God until we are judged if we can
go to heaven or hell. I thought God will forgive those who sin if they confess and are
truly sorry. Why is God still punishing me and all of us? Why must this world
have to have a mighty leader? Why must we or people need to obey the king or
the queen when we are suppose to be all equal to God’s beloved humans? I
don’t understand, there is a lot more things I don’t understand. Please
help me. - Jennie
Jennie:
Sometimes we get so bogged
down with displeasure, we cannot see beyond the routine of life that everyone faces.
Sometimes things get tough and we find ourselves Sometimes we get so bogged down with displeasure, we cannot see beyond the routine of life that everyone faces. Sometimes things get tough and we find ourselves wondering if this life is worth it. We forget the things that God put here for our pleasure. The difference is that we must grab hold of this life and enjoy the blessings that come to us. You are alive and able to wake each morning and see the beauty of the morning sunshine, the feel of the wind in your hair as you ride in a car, the beauty of the moon. You can experience the joy of a baby's smile, or a friend's compliment, taste the goodness of a wonderful meal, feel the love of someone who cares by a simple hug, or a smile in the eyes of those who care for you. You are blessed with parents or relatives who love you, siblings who call just to say hello, perhaps you have a job to go to, and all the things that God gives us. There is part of an article that was published in CatholicView which might be of some help to you . It is called Losing Faith". Some points in this article to keep in mind are: "Here are some things that I know to be truth. There is a God. There is a Creator who brought all life into existence. You know this basic truth in your heart. This same Creator has made you for a reason and purpose. There are no accidents when it comes to life, just challenges and obstacles to overcome. No one is immune from suffering and we all suffer because of the effects of sin,others and my own. So, suffering is not God’s fault but the fault of other people’s actions, my own actions, and the “luck of the draw.” That’s why I asked you not to focus on depression. Instead, focus on creation, life, beautiful things, the so-called blessings that we have in line. Life is meant to be lived to the full. So, it is time to make a decision to get out of the habitual rut of seeing depressing things and get into a new life habit seeing the good things around us all. Treat yourself to something joyful. Get out of yourself, walk in your neighborhood and see the wonder of nature. When I feel depressed and isolated, that’s what I do – get out! I walk, smell the flowers (and take my allergy medications), see life in all its forms. Then I am overwhelmed by God’s presence all-around me. Instead of focusing simply on sadness (and therefore, myself), I am reaching out. Simply by doing this, I begin the healing process in my brain that will bring me peace. Notice I said “peace" and not happiness. Happiness is fleeting, but peace is forever! My peace of mind is what gives me stability, not happiness. I seek peace. I gain that peace through my trust and faith in God Who knows what is going on. And that is what our Catholic faith promises: peace. Remember what Jesus said to His disciples when He met with them in the Upper Room after His death and resurrection (John 20:19-22): “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent Me, so I send you.” Here comes prayer…since prayer is a dialog between God and myself, and not some kind of "rubbing the genie in a bottle and getting a wish,” I want to dialog with the Creator. That demands that I stop talking and take the time to listen. (I Kings 19:12-13) “After the fire, there was a tiny whispering sound. When Elijah heard this, he hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave” [to meet with God. You mentioned that you pray the rosary often and marvel at the cross of the crucified Lord Jesus. This is ONLY a start. You must be silent. You must rest in the presence of the Lord. This is how I do it. I close my eyes. I breathe deeply and silence my words and my desires. That’s the hard part. My mind is racing all the time. I too am filled with doubts, questions, wants, and desires. I find myself talking to God as if He is Santa Claus. That’s when I stop and say to myself, “Be silent, be at peace. Shhhhh. Peace.” As I slow my mind and soul down, I begin to see good things, such as my favorite food, my family, my favorite tree, the smell of something delicious. I revel in that. I allow myself to enjoy the peace and let it fill me. When I open my eyes sometime later, I say, “Thank you, Lord, for all your blessings!” There are no easy answers. I too struggle with doubt. I too ask God why this and that. I too get angry with God Who seems really distant sometimes. There is no sin in doubting. There is no sin in getting angry with God since He demands my own honesty in my dialog with Him and myself. There are no immediate answers to the pain of this world and the pain in my particular life. So, we go forward and live life to the full and make a mark on this world, a mark that will improve the world around me. Once again, I must say that I am impressed with your courage and your strength. You are strong. You are a faithful person. You have not given up. It is time to change old habits. Do not focus on sadness but focus on blessings. Do not stare into the face of depression with resignation but laugh at it. And with your dialog with God, you will become secure and stronger each day. I wish I could make all your pain go away. But you need to get "back on the horse and ride". Only you can do that. I can't do it for you. And neither can God. But He rides with you telling you in His own way, "You can do it! I believe in you!" None of us knows God's plans for us, but we can
know that we are all here for a purpose. We are in training for an ultimate gift,
and that gift is salvation; an eternity of continuous joy forever. May the God bless you with the peace only He can give. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I was listening to Dr.
Reagan of "Christ in Prophecy" and he made a statement that surprised me.
He stated that the Anglican and Roman Catholic Churches both teach Replacement
Theology. Please tell me this is not true! I thought we had realized the
mistake of St Augustine and that the Church does not replace Israel and that God has plans
for both of us. Please comment. - Anna
Dear Anna: Pope John Paul II said In his address during his historic visit to the Great Synagogue of Rome on 4/13/86: “…the Church of Christ discovers her ‘bond’ with Judaism by ‘searching into her own mystery.’ The Jewish religion is not ‘extrinsic’ to us, but in a certain way is ‘intrinsic’ to our own religion. With Judaism, therefore, we have a relationship which we do not have with any other religion. You (Israel) are our dearly beloved brothers and, in a certain way, it could be said that you are our elder brothers.” (Spiritual Pilgrimage, page 63). Anna, you are absolutely right. God has plans for both Jews and Gentiles alike. We are entwined with Israel. God sent His Son first to the Jewish people. He came as a Jew to save the Jews who were His chosen people. Even though many did not accept Him, God's love for them exists today as strong as ever. And then, in His Almighty love for all of us, He gave us the opportunity to accept His Son, Jesus Christ. Those of us who believe, have been grafted onto God's tree of life. This will never, ever change, for God made a strong and everlasting promise to the Jewish people. Please read Romans 11:11-21: "Did God’s people stumble and fall beyond recovery? Of course not! They were disobedient, so God made salvation available to the Gentiles. But he wanted his own people to become jealous and claim it for themselves. Now if the Gentiles were enriched because the people of Israel turned down God’s offer of salvation, think how much greater a blessing the world will share when they finally accept it. "I am saying all this especially for you Gentiles. God has appointed me as the apostle to the Gentiles. I stress this, for I want somehow to make the people of Israel jealous of what you Gentiles have, so I might save some of them. For since their rejection meant that God offered salvation to the rest of the world, their acceptance will be even more wonderful. It will be life for those who were dead! And since Abraham and the other patriarchs were holy, their descendants will also be holy—just as the entire batch of dough is holy because the portion given as an offering is holy. For if the roots of the tree are holy, the branches will be, too. "But some of these branches from Abraham’s tree—some of the people of Israel—have been broken off. And you Gentiles, who were branches from a wild olive tree, have been grafted in. So now you also receive the blessing God has promised Abraham and his children, sharing in the rich nourishment from the root of God’s special olive tree. But you must not brag about being grafted in to replace the branches that were broken off. You are just a branch, not the root. “Well,” you may say, “those branches were broken off to make room for me.” Yes, but remember—those branches were broken off because they didn’t believe in Christ, and you are there because you do believe. So don’t think highly of yourself, but fear what could happen. For if God did not spare the original branches, he won’t spare you either." Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am a relapsed Catholic. What are the conditions on returning to the Church? - Linda
Dear Linda: What a joyous time for you! Please see a priest in your area and tell him you want to be a member in good standing. He will listen to your confession or arrange for a private one. When you pray tonight, ask God to forgive you for
turning away from His Grace and His Love. Through His eternal love for you, He waits
for your return. Welcome back to the Church. - - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I suffer from depression and addiction issues. Our deacon, who has experience in this area, agreed to counsel me. The counseling was working well, but I was afraid he wanted more from me than I could give. He said no, we're just friends. Now his wife thinks we're having an affair. I'm thinking about killing myself. Please help. - Susan
Susan: Please do not concern yourself about something you are not guilty of. This should be his call to assure his wife. He is the one who wanted to start an alliance with you. I would advise that should you come in contact with this man's wife to be kind, friendly and open since you are not at fault. Please talk to a priest and ask him to refer you to a professional for your depression and addictions. Be at peace. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I recently had a discussion with a friend who claimed the fallen angel was Gabriel, I disagreed and said if the fallen angel was given a name it was Lucifer. Will you please set us straight. Is there a quote in the bible stating the fallen angels name? - Janet
Dear Janet: Thank you for your question. Isaiah 14: 12 reveals the fall of Lucifer from the
heights of heaven, which resulted in his status as the creature that he is today:
CatholicView Staff: Was it wrong for me to go to the diocese to inform them of unethical things the priest I work for does? I don't want to obey him when he tells me to do wrong things with money and diocesan policies. I have no spiritual direction in this matter. I love the faith!- Susan
Susan: No, it was not wrong to inform the diocese of the unethical things the priest you work for does. He is accountable for any wrongdoings that same as anybody else. You did the right thing. Hopefully, it will be lesson that will cause this
priest to behave in a godly fashion and be an example to the lay people he serves.
You did the right thing to report his behavior. Go in peace. -
CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: If Jesus by dying on the cross paid for my sins, why should I still need to go to confession? My thinking is that by dying He opened the door to heaven for us but we must choose to walk towards it based on living a Christian life. Thank you, John John: It is true that by dying for your sins, Christ paid for your sins. For past sins. But we continue to sin over and over again in this life and we must ask Him to forgive us over and over too. When we accepted that Jesus died for us, through faith we were cleansed of all past sin. All of us have sin and new sin we are guilty of
must be forgiven. This is why we confess. To renew our souls. Much like
washing our clothes after they become dirty. When we bought new clothes they were
clean. But with time, they need to be washed. The same with sin. Thank
you for your question. - CatholicView Staff Dear CatholicView Staff: I did some minor damage to another person's property. I confessed in confession and the priest gave me penance and absolution. But is there more I need to do to resolve this? Thanks. - Ben Ben: I think you know the answer to your question. Yes, Ben, there is something you must do to resolve this action of damaging another person's property. It is good that you have asked God to forgive you, but God also asks us to make restitution. You must give the person an apology and recompense. Until then, your confession is not complete. Talk to your priest and rid yourself
of this guilt. May God give you the courage to do the right thing. - CatholicView
Staff
CatholicView Staff: Thank You for taking my Question. God has given me a very strange and difficult cross in life, and that's complete disrespect by my family, people I work with, and even my own child. I have been treated this way the better part of my life, and it's awful hurtful. Do I fall under Jesus' 8th and final Beatitude, even though I'm not exactly being disrespected because I'm Christian, just for being me? - Frank Frank: Keep in mind that because you have a God Who loves you unconditionally, and you are very special indeed. Do not let others steal your self esteem. Hold yourself with value, knowing that we were all created by the same Mighty Hand of God. You, Frank, are made in the image of God, our Father. And the greatest thing of all is that you love the Lord. Don't allow others to judge you by their yardsticks. Hold your head high, knowing that you have a special place in this life, just like everyone else. You are not less, for God has many plans for you. Please go and talk to your parish priest. Tell him of your sadness. He will listen and give you words of wisdom. Go in peace, knowing that there is Somebody important Who knows how special you are. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My question is: Will my curiosity to learn of another religion make me a traitor to God? For example: I want to learn the ways of people who believe in WICCA. I don't want to stop going to church or stop praying to God. Thank you, Tobey Dear Tobey: The bible teaches us that we cannot serve two masters. Wicca is a a form of modern witchcraft. Wiccan
rituals is an abomination spoken of in the bible. To indulge or believe in Wicca
rituals is sinful and is forbidden by the church. Such
practices would be to associate yourself with witchcraft and the occult. I would
advise you to keep away from evilness, even for fun. Be very careful with your
curiosity.
CatholicView Staff: Deuteronomy 23:2 says that one born of a forbidden union may not enter the assembly of the Lord. My parents were not married. I am now an adult and this has haunted me my whole life. Is this still true? - Teresa
Teresa: Do not carry this sadness any longer. You are referring to the passage of Deuteronomy 23:2 which reads, " “If a person is illegitimate by birth, neither he nor his descendants for ten generations may be admitted to the assembly of the Lord." This law says that anyone born out of
wedlock will not be saved, for they were the result of a sinful act. But, through
the loving mercy of God, He sent Jesus Who came to earth, and He brought with Him a New
Covenant; one that took away the sin of all who believed and had faith in Him as the
Savior of the world. If we are washed in the blood of Jesus Who died for our sins
through baptism, we are cleansed from all sin and therefore Jesus frees
us. Go in peace, Teresa. You are freed by Jesus Christ! Move
forward in your faith. -
CatholicView Staff: I have had so much heartache all my life. I'm starting to think that the devil is tormenting me. I have mental illness. My illness causes me so much pain. I don't know what happiness is. I feel God hates me. I'm heartbroken and pray to die. I feel that God ignores my prayer. If God is our Father why won't He help me? - Judith
Dear Judith: I am very concerned that you have thoughts of wanting to die and I pray that you get help immediately. Are you seeing a doctor for your mental illness? And do you know how much God loves you? He loves you so much He sent His Son to die for us to be with Him in Heaven someday. He knows all your pain and suffering and wants to share your life... your heartaches, your mental illness, and everything that happens in your life. And God does not ignore your prayers for He hears every word and sees every tear you shed. God made you for a purpose, and He has plans for you just as you are.
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