______________________ Father Bill: Throughout her battle with cancer my mother always tried to make it a point to me not to be mad at God, with her dying breathe I know her faith was strong, but mine suffered. Lately I believe new people in my life were sent by God to save me, but the problem is they aren't Catholic, they are nondenominational Christians. Sadly I feel I've learned more from them in a few short months then through all my years of Catholicism. Can I attend another church without throwing away my Catholic upbringing? - Stephanie
Dear Stephanie: Thank you for writing. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy at the death of your mother. From what you say, she was a wise and faith-filled person. It must be a difficult loss for you to bear. Since you don’t mention it in your question, I’m going to assume that your mother died fairly recently. During my years as a priest, I have observed over and over again that people often experience a crisis of faith following the death of a loved one. The crisis of faith can take many forms, but the most common one that I’ve observed is that they will stop attending Mass—usually for a matter of weeks or maybe a few months. Most eventually return to the regular practice of the faith. I bring this up because the fact that your faith suffered after the death of your mother is not unusual. The death of a loved one, along with the attendant emotions, often leaves the bereaved searching for ways to fill the emptiness. People are very vulnerable during this early grieving process. Their need for emotional release and spiritual comfort are very real. There are some parts of your question that leave me looking for answers that only you can give, but I don’t have the luxury of asking you. For example, you say Lately I believe new people in my life were sent by God to save me. That makes me want to ask, “Save you from what?” You see, I’m not sure if you mean they were sent to save you from your grief, or if they had the answer to the question Are you saved? I wish I knew the answer to this, as it would help me a lot as I try to answer your question. I’m just going to have to go ahead and answer the best I can, without knowing exactly what you meant. I’d like to begin by pointing out that there is really only one person that God has sent to save any of us, and that person is His beloved Son Jesus Christ. To keep this brief, we Catholics believe that Jesus began a church founded on St. Peter and the other apostles, and that the Catholic Church was—and continues to be—that Church. It is the mission of the Church to continue the work of Jesus until the end of time by proclaiming the Kingdom of God. The Church, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, is the authentic interpreter of the Sacred Scriptures and the guardian of truth. It is also the instrument through which Jesus is present to us in very special ways: the Sacraments. Here, especially in the Eucharist, Jesus embraces and nourishes us in ways that are life-giving and mysterious. I guess when it comes right down to it, one either believes this about the Catholic Church or one does not believe it. The fact that I believe it does not mean that I think that the Catholic Church is perfect, nor does it mean that I think that other Christian churches are wrong. I just think that these other Churches are missing some very important gifts that God has given us. That being said, I think it’s wonderful that the nondenominational Christians you mention in your question have been such a great help to you. Their kindness and the love they have shown you are surely signs of their love for Christ, and I’m glad that they have reached out to you. However, I certainly would be curious to know what you have learned from them that you could not have learned from your Catholic faith. In all honesty, it makes me wonder how well you actually know your Catholic faith…and what you expect from it. Our Catholic faith has such a rich tradition of worship and spirituality going back so many centuries that it’s hard for me to fathom what a nondenominational church can offer that the Catholic Church cannot. Unfortunately, since you’re not sitting here with me, we can’t engage in that conversation. To answer your question Can I attend another church without throwing away my Catholic upbringing? I would say the answer is Yes and No. To occasionally attend another church can be an enriching experience. I’ve done it a few times myself, and it has helped me to appreciate how Christ is present wherever baptized people gather to do His work. However, it has also helped to deepen my appreciation for the gift of my Catholic faith. Whatever you decide to do, you will always have your Catholic upbringing, so you really can’t throw it away. But there’s only one place that your Catholic upbringing can really grow, and that’s in the fertile soil of the Church that gave it to you. God bless you, Stephanie, as you continue on your journey of life and faith. - Father Bill
Father Bill: I have been reading more and more from the bible and recently from something called "The Imitation of Christ". In both places it seems to talk a lot about it being good to empty ourselves, detach from the world, dislike what the world values etc. When I read these things it makes me feel guilty for having self-confidence and enjoying life. These passages seem to be telling me to hate myself and everything in the world I live in. I want to Love God the way he wants me to and to live a life pleasing to him, but I'm hoping that doesn't mean I have to hate life and the permissible pleasures it offers. Please help me clarify this. - Mark
Dear Mark, It’s wonderful that you are reading the bible and exploring the thoughts of other spiritual writers. This is a great way to nourish your faith. The concerns you express in your question come from taking your reading seriously. Our faith is enriched when it seeks understanding. In the interest of full disclosure I have to tell you that I have never read in its entirety The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis; what I have read of it was done many years ago. It was written around 1418, and it has become a spiritual classic treasured by many Catholics, as well as many other Christians. I think it’s important to realize that it was written by a monk and was intended primarily to help those who were living the monastic life. I presume you’re not a monk, and neither am I, but our lives can certainly be enriched by a writer who has embraced the asceticism of the monastic life for the sake of the Kingdom of God, even if we are not called to follow that lifestyle ourselves. The bible and works like The Imitation of Christ can help us understand what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. To put it in modern terms, being a disciple of Jesus means that we have certain priorities and a focus that is “out of this world”. Some speak of this as being “in the world but not of the world”. Our priorities as baptized people revolve around accepting our call to holiness, embracing the cross of Jesus, and engaging in the battle against sin and temptation. Our focus is on building up the Kingdom of God in this life and looking ahead to its fullness in the life to come. Jesus is our model for all of this. Interestingly enough, He apparently enjoyed many of life’s legitimate pleasures, as he contrasts himself with the asceticism of John the Baptist in Matthew 11:18 – 19. His enjoyment of the good things of life did not stand in the way when it came to emptying himself for the sake of the Kingdom. When we strive to live an ordinary kind of Christian asceticism, we begin to see the world and our lives from a different perspective. We see the world not as a possession but as a trust, and we see our lives as a gift that God gives us to be used for the sake of the Kingdom and to give honor and glory to God. Our lives are not a measure of our own importance, but rather of God’s generosity. The joys and pleasures of life are good when they help lead us to God, but they are bad when they become gods in and of themselves. I think there is an important premise that underlies all of scripture and most other spiritual reading, and that is that the fundamental human sin is the sin of idolatry. It is so easy to start making gods of ourselves, our passionate interests, money, fame, possessions—the list can go on and on. The bible and spiritual reading like The Imitation of Christ challenge us to rein in those idolatrous impulses—to hate them, so to speak—so that we can love God more. Your desire to “love God the way He wants [you] to and to live a life pleasing to Him” should provide you with the motivation to make the right decisions and help you to open your heart to God’s grace so that you can enjoy the good things of your life without letting them consume you. Remember, nothing can take the place of God, but all sorts of things will try, if we let them. You’re on the right path to holiness, Mark. God’s grace is working in you. - Father Bill Father Bill: I recently tried to talk a friend out of having an abortion, however, I failed. I feel so guilty I can barely sleep at night, I am fearful of God that I did not do enough. I cannot forgive myself, so how can God forgive me? - James
Dear James, I have to ask: What more do you think you could have done? At some point, James, matters like this leave our sphere of influence and become someone else’s decision and someone else’s responsibility. Like you, I am sorry that your friend made the decision that she did, but it was her decision, not yours. If you tried to talk her out of the abortion, I really can’t imagine what else you could have done. It would not be appropriate to use physical force or to be verbally abusive, for example. If you tried to refer her to a pro-life counseling organization, that was good. But if you didn’t think to do that, I certainly wouldn’t hold you responsible for that omission. We’re all human, James, and we often fail to respond perfectly to stressful situations. Sure, we can look back on all the “if onlys” and the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” insights that hindsight allows us, but hindsight is a luxury that we only possess when we don’t really need it any more. I’m guessing that you did your very best under the circumstances, and sometimes even our very best efforts will fail us. Even if you didn’t do your very best, you at least tried to do what you knew to be right. You don’t need God’s forgiveness, because you didn’t do anything wrong. Try now to let this all go, and leave it in God’s hands. It also might be wise to keep in mind that your friend may still need your friendship. If she does, and if you are up to it, try to forgive her. She may need it. God bless you for what you tried to do. Now may His peace be with you. - Father Bill
CATHOLICVIEW
STAFF CatholicView Staff: Is smoking sinful? Is pregnant women smoking sinful? - Ivan
Ivan: Thank you for your question. Smoking has been around for a long, long time. At first, many did not know the harm nicotine can do to the human body. It is a particularly bad thing to smoke cigarettes while pregnant for it not only affect one's own lungs but the delicate lungs of an unborn fetus. So yes, I would consider this to be a sinful and selfish habit in this case. 1 Corinthians 6:19 tells us, "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, Who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself". Anything done excessively such as drinking, overeating, or smoking is sinful. If you do not smoke, don't start. If you do smoke, try your best to quit. It is not an attractive or healthy thing to engage in, nor a habit one should ever explore. Plus it has become an expensive indulgence. Hope this helps you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: People who commit suicide die in mortal sin. If a person takes a poison then receives last rites prior to death, then will that person still die in mortal sin? My friend and I have been debating this point, and we are both stumped! - Thad Thad: Good question. I believe that God knows the heart of each of us. He knows if a person who tries to commit suicide regrets it at the moment of dying, or is in a state of tremendous suffering. So therefore, Thad, any judgment has to come from God, not man. We do not know what God decides in this instance, or if the person asked God to forgive with his last breath. Let's leave judgment up to God. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: I am 73 years old. lost my wife 2 years ago. Married for 43 years. Have had no nocturnal emissions since Mary died. I went to a urologist and all tests were negative. He suggested therapeutic ejaculation to suppress pubic area pain upon erection. Is this permissible within our church? - Joe Joe: Thank you for your question. Follow your doctor's orders in this case. God understands that this is a medical way of pain relief for your particular problem and the Church does not want you to suffer. We hope you will get better soon. God bless. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: I have a dispute with my co-worker I think you can settle for me. I say that the Eucharist is literally the body and blood of Christ. My co-worker says that it is only symbolic of the body and blood of Christ. Could you please clarify this for us? Thank for your time. Angela: Your answer is correct. The Eucharist is perceived to literally be the body and blood of Christ by the Catholic Church. The host and wine becomes the presence of Christ and is called transubstantiation. Christ becomes present and there is a union between God and the celebrant when the host is swallowed. Many Protestants believe that is it only symbolic. We refer to when Christ said in Matthew 26:26 - 29 "As they were eating, Jesus took some bread and blessed it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “Take this and eat it, for this is my body.” And he took a cup of wine and gave thanks to God for it. He gave it to them and said, “Each of you drink from it, for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many. Mark my words—I will not drink wine again until the day I drink it new with you in my Father’s Kingdom.” And then there is 1 Corinthians that states, "Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord." Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My brother is in his 40's and never worked. Rather he has lived off of the charity of my parents. After my parents pass away what is my biblical responsibility toward my brother? Also he refuses direction and squanders everything he receives. - Steve
Steve: I am sorry to hear that your brother is living on his parent's charity. I am going to assume that your brother is healthy. There is no reason an able bodied man your brother's age cannot support himself. This is an unfortunate situation because your parents have allowed your brother to become this way. You must not continue to cripple your brother. It is long past time for this man to be grown and support himself. Men his age have jobs and families to support. He is not a child. The only biblical responsibility you have is to encourage your brother to get a job and become independent. If after searching seriously for a job, he can find no work for a while and needs your help, then you must give him monetary support until he is self sufficient. This is your responsibility. To be there and support him if he is in trouble. Hope this helps. _ CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Hi. My husband and I have 4 children. I have been nursing or pregnant for almost a decade now and have not had more than a handful of menstrual cycles during this time. However now that I am ovulating and we are not actively trying to have children ( as we are adopting from Africa) I have found that I have a hormone problem. I get very upset during my cycle and my cycle lasts for about 10 or 11 days. This leaves me depressed and agitated for 1/3 of the time. I am told birth control pills are the only way to regulate my hormones. Am I permitted to take them if my goal Is not to curtail any more births... We actually intend to have more children but I cannot live like this and it is affecting my family as well??? Dee Dee: You are to be congratulated for not only raising your four children but are willing to offer a loving home to needy children from Africa. This is a beautiful thing. God bless you for this. If your doctor definitely recommends that you take birth control pills until your hormone balance is once more in tune, I suggest you take them. Your family needs you healthy in order to maintain the heavy duties required in raising four active children. God knows your heart. Get better. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My son is getting married by an interfaith minister outside the Catholic Church but still attends Mass from time to time. If he and his wife, both baptized Catholics, should have children, can they have them baptized in the Catholic Church and bring them up Catholic? - Corinne Corinne: Thank you for your question. Absolutely, the children can be baptized in the Catholic Church and brought up Catholic. The main thing is the example your son and his wife will set for the children by regularly attending church each Sunday with them. Please pray that your son and his wife will participate in going to mass with their future children so there is unity in the family. May the Lord bring peace and joy to you and all. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: At the age of 14 my friend took something from me and he said he'd give it back if I'd give him my soul, I didn't take it seriously so we shook on it. A couple of days later I asked for it back and he said sure. I'm wondering if he did give it back, if it's that simple or if I never gave it away to begin with. Thank you for your time. - Maria
Dear Maria: You cannot “sell” your soul. If you believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior, your soul belongs to Him. And so, if you live as He taught, Satan cannot have your soul and certainly, no other human being can have access to something that belongs to God. God puts His seal of ownership on you. You can only lose your soul by living in sin, using your “Free Will” to embrace Satan by your actions. You would have to make the choice to continue living in sin, turning your back on God and Jesus Christ. If you believe and accept that your soul has already been bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, you have nothing to worry about. It is not for sale as it has already been paid for by Jesus through your faithfulness in Him. Selling one’s soul means that, as an adult, you are living a lifestyle that is not Christian. You may lose eternity by going your own way, losing faith and salvation in the process. Or some non-Christians may choose to follow Satan in hopes of some earthly reward. The Bible says we are all Satan's children until we are redeemed by Christ and being faithful to Him. And so, Satan cannot touch you unless you let him. He does not have that power and certainly neither does your old boy friend. In the future stay away from evil games for they are tools of Satan. You did not sell your soul. Do not allow fear to keep you away from your faith. Move forward in the mighty name of Christ. You soul is safe. Go in peace to continue on God's path. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: A few years ago I was at a wake, and the priest did a quote about when I was a child I did this and this and I loved, when I was a young man I did act etc and I loved, when I was a old man I did etc., and I loved....... I do not think it was from the bible and was not the verse from Corinthians if you can't help me I am about ready to try and find the priest. or give up. everyone tells be its a take off of Corinthians but is not close to what I heard, could it be from St John? Albert: You are referring to 1 Corinthians 13:11-15 in the New Testament which reads in the original Greek, "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: In the 1973 ICET English-language draft of the Nicene Creed there is a line, "On the third day He rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures". "Third day" could have easily been omitted from the translation, so that it was included indicates it is important. To what scripture does this refer? Thank you. - Jessica Jessica: You are right. This is important. for this is the crux of our faith that one day, we too will rise again. There are several mentions in the New Testament: Here are two places: Matthew 16:21, " From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for Him to go to Jerusalem, and that He would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day He would be raised from the dead." Luke 24-46. "And He said, “Yes, it was written long ago that the Messiah would suffer and die and rise from the dead on the third day. Hope this helps you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My husband and I were
recently married by a non-denominational minister for
legality. We are true to our religion, but he's too sick to
have a Roman Catholic ceremony. He's about to have a large
surgery and if he survives, we would like to have a Roman
Catholic ceremony. Will this be allowed?- Jen Hello Jen: I am so sorry to hear that your husband is seriously ill. As you know, you marriage is not recognized by the Church. But the good news is that this can be easily reconciled in the Church. Call your parish priest and tell him of your situation. Usually the couple will meet with the priest and he will make arrangements to have your marriage blessed in his office. If your husband is too ill for this, perhaps the priest can make other arrangements for you. Do not worry, this can all be taken care of. And I will pray that all goes well for your husband in his surgery. Your good intent is there and God knows your heart. Be at peace. May the healing hand of the Lord bless you both. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Is it a sin to text in church? - Mike Mike: Texting during a time of holy worship takes away the purpose and meaning of being in the house of God. God gave us His commandment, "Keep the Sabbath holy." And it is also rude to those around you who come to honor God. You are in Church to concentrate on all He has done for you such as giving you the breath of life. You are there to worship your Savior who died to give you salvation. Is He not worth an hour or two of your time on the Sabbath? If you are tempted or cannot control yourself and your phone, leave the phone at home or in your car. Better that than dishonoring God. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My family knows that I am an avid coin collector. An unfamiliar though close relative recently gave me their collection of foreign coins. They had mentioned that they had tried to exchange the coins at a bank without luck. I found some of the coins to have some value. As a collector I would like to keep them, as I am aware that they had sought to exchange them. I believe that I should return the coins of value. My mind is made up, as is often the case asking the question aloud amplifies ones conscience. Thank you for offering the moral forum,. -Richard Frank Lockhart Jr. Dear Rich: Interesting question. You are absolutely right to return those coins of value to your family members. It is up to them to decide whether to take the coins back or let you keep them. God bless you for making this rightful decision. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am currently 35 and expecting my first child. Ten years ago I had a bit of a drinking problem. During one of those days I was playing pool with my boyfriend at the time. We were drinking and bet our souls on who won the game. I lost and he had me sign a piece of paper giving my soul to him. He knew this would bother me when I realized what I did. For ten years this has haunted me. I have been raised Catholic my entire life and am scared to death that I did this. I have grown up so much during the past ten years and have changed my life. My question is does this have any validity? I want to live a good life and have my soul go to heaven but am fearful for my prior action. I know it sounds crazy, I just want to make sure that he does not have that part of me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I know you are busy. - Stephanie Dear Stephanie: In an earlier question this month, I answered this same question.. I will repeat it here for you. You cannot “sell” your soul. If you believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior, your soul belongs to Him. And so, if you live as He taught, Satan cannot have your soul and certainly, no other human being can have access to something that belongs to God. As a Catholic Christian, God put His seal of ownership on you. You can only lose your soul by living in sin, using your “Free Will” to embrace Satan by your own actions. If you believe and accept that your soul has already been bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ, you have nothing to worry about. It is not for sale as it has already been paid for by Jesus through your faithfulness in Him.
Selling one’s soul means that, as an adult, you are living a
lifestyle that is not Christian. You may lose eternity by
going your own way, losing faith and salvation in the
process. Or some non-Christians may choose to follow Satan
in hopes of some earthly reward. The Bible says we are all
Satan's children until we are redeemed by Christ and being
faithful to Him. And so, Satan cannot touch you unless you
let him. He does not have that power and certainly neither
does your old boy friend.
CatholicView Staff: I know the church teaches that if a person dies without confessing a mortal sin then they go to hell. But what if they love God very much and they do commit a mortal sin and plan on going to confession but die before they make it there? Will they still go to hell?
Emily: Good question. You are forgetting a very important factor here however. If a person dies but sincerely wanted to ask for God's forgiveness but some unforeseen accident takes their lives, God knows this person's honest intentions. This one would be God's judgment call. We cannot know if that person got forgiveness or not. We must leave this matter in God's loving hands. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: I am a Catholic school principal dating a woman who is divorced without annulment. This marriage has not been annulled, nor has her former husband passed away. Am I living in grievous sin? Do I need to fear for my job? Burt: You do not say whether the lady you are dating is Catholic or if this relationship is serious. Nonetheless, she is still a married woman in the eyes of the church. If you are thinking to marry this lady, I suggest that you must consider that you are in an adulterous relationship until she annuls her first marriage. And you have a lot at stake because of your work as a Catholic school principal. I would suggest that you speak with your priest who will ask you for more information that you give here. He may want to speak with your friend to determine what has to be done to start the annulment process. If you are seriously involved with this lady, she must get started with the annulment. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I was born Catholic. When we moved to Utah, my wife and I baptized Mormon. We left and have come back to Catholicism. What steps do I take now? Must I re-baptize? Go to confession. What steps must I take in order for me to receive communion again? - Lio Lio: Thank you for your question. If you were baptized into the Catholic Church and have your baptismal records or can obtain them, you will not need to be re-baptized. You do not mention if you wife was also baptized as a Catholic. If she has been, then the above also applies to her. You would need to speak with a parish priest, and tell him how long you have been away from the Church, etc. so he can determine whether you will need to enroll in R.C.I.A. (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults). Of course, you will have to go to confession. The above is not a difficult to do. See your priest and he will guide you. Welcome back! - CatholicView Staff CatholicView: My husband & I married at the courthouse and later in the church. We have 2 children. Within 3 months of the birth of our second child my husband obtained a vasectomy with my knowledge but not my consent. Within 5 years from the birth of our second child, he had totally withdrawn from me physically. This has been the case for over 10 years. We have gone through counseling but he still treats me as a cohabitant in our home. I am lonely and considering my options but do not want to lose the ability to receive Eucharist. Will his actions give us reason for annulment? Jane: Jane: Sadly, it sounds as if your marriage is not all it should be. I strongly suggest you speak to your parish priest and tell him what has been happening such as the abandonment your husband has forced on you and the total disinterest he has in having a physical relationship with you as a husband to his wife. One good point is that you and your husband did seek counseling. Have you both also talked to the priest about your problems? Would you try again if he would agree to it? As matter stand at present, there is a great chance that you are entitled to an annulment. But CatholicView has only limited details. Please see your priest as soon as you can to resolve this situation. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Why do nuns change their Christian given names for other names when the say their vows, but priests do not change their names? Is it because they are women and women are submissive to men? Thank you. Erin Dear Erin: A nun changes her name because it means "a new life in Christ". Priests rarely do, except in cases of becoming a Pope. Consider Pope Benedict XVI. His original name was Joseph Alois Ratzinger, and Pope John Paul II's birth name was Karol Józef Wojtyla. Hope this helps a bit. CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: What does the Catholic Church teach/believe is the way to gain entry into Heaven? - Sarah
Sarah: We gain entry into Heaven through the Lord Jesus Christ Who died on a cross to pay for our salvation. Read John 3:16-21: “For God loved the world so much that He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through Him. There is no judgment against anyone who believes in Him. But anyone who does not believe in Him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants." If one follows what Jesus taught us, follows God commandments, that person will be welcomed into God's kingdom. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff
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