ask a priest march2005

Father Kevin:

Why is it that you never hear priests mentioning sin and hell anymore during homilies. Why is that? You hear about God's love and forgiveness, which is very important, but I think by not talking about sin and hell it is acting as if hell doesn't exist. I think we should at least be reminded of the consequences of our sins, especially mortal sins, and also be reminded of God's loving kindness and forgiveness and that there isn't anything he won't forgive, as long as as we confess our serious sins, have true sorrow for all our sins and change our ways. I have gotten the impression from a lot of Catholics that we can do whatever we want and God will forgive us even if we don't repent. I think priests are doing their parishioners a disservice by not teaching them the consequences of sin. I grew up in a time when it was talked about, but what about the younger generation who has never had it impressed upon them the seriousness of sin and its consequences. – Cynthia

I can’t answer the question as to why sin is not mentioned in homilies more. What I can say that the world still has abundant experience of sin and its consequences. The sin of communal violence for instance, and the naïve myth that we can bring about peace through violent means is alive and well. We see the futility of this every day at the moment in Iraq and in many other places. The sins of consumerism, self-absorption, greed, lack of forgiveness and so on and so on, continue to shape so much of our world and leave us divided, hungry and poor in so many communities.

Our sin can only be turned around by unconditional love, and as you mention here, God will forgive anything we come up with – no strings attached. Being loved unconditionally is the only path to conversion , which is perhaps why sin and hell are not mentioned so much and the love of God is put before us so often.

Everyone from Jesus, to Sigmund Freud and John Lennon, recognised that love is all we need. It is only love that will change the human heart. Fear of punishment may bring a certain conformity, may get us to behave ourselves for a while, but can not bring about a deep conversion and growth. Only love can bring us into deep harmony with our God.

Having said that, the naming of our own sin, both personal and communal, is very important, in the sacrament of reconciliation, and in our preaching as we struggle forward in grace.

Father Kevin:

The church seems unforgiving about contraception. Can you share with me the biblical basis for this? I am a nursing student and experience great conflict with not telling clients to use a condom, when it could save them from contracting an STD or having and unplanned pregnancy. God bless, Judi

The best I can come up with is the text in Deuteronomy where God asks the people to be as life-giving as they can – “I put before you both life and death – choose life then that you may live in the land I promised to your fathers.” Cf Deuteronomy 30, 11-20

God asks us with regard to each moral decision we make, to be as life-giving as we possibly can. This is the basis for the Church’s position on contraception. As with most moral issues, things are complex, and circumstances can enter in which impact on the morality of an action or a pattern of behaviour. The Church is in constant conversation with society so that we can grow in our understanding of God’s purposes as we face the moral questions of each era. As with many moral issues of our day, conversations need to continue further here.

St Thomas Aquinas for example, recognised that the law-makers are often playing catch-up in many matters and that there will always be a need for generous and open conversations so that we can together discover God’s purposes.

With regard to our sexual behaviour, faithfulness, generosity and the openness to life at every level are central to the Church’s teachings. Along with this there is an understanding of people’s circumstances, and in situations where poverty, rampant disease, and a lack of proper health care prevail, the practice of the Church is or ought to be compassionate, forgiving and understanding of these circumstances. God never asks the impossible of us.

Finally, one thing we are all good at is self-deception. We need to keep a firm watch on our hearts to make sure that we are indeed being as life-giving as we can. It is very easy to convince ourselves that the fulfilment of our own needs or desires comes before all other considerations, and that is why it is important for us to keep in conversation with each other and in touch with the Church’s teaching tradition, so that we live more and more in harmony with the way God intended.

Many years ago, long before becoming a confirmed Catholic, I had a vasectomy. I believed I was doing the "responsible" thing. For several years, I have been a Catechist, a Eucharist minister, a Lector, a youth minister and a minister to the sick. I now feel called to the diaconate.

Does the vasectomy exclude me from this calling? Could this impediment be removed by a reversal? - Thasnks for your help. Fred

It sounds to me as though you have always done what you considered wise, responsible and for the best. My guess is that you will continue to make similar generous, thoughtful decisions. When you stand alone and prayerfully before God, you will know the truth for yourself. God knows the depth of integrity or otherwise in the decisions we make and it is important that we trust that deep moment of honesty before God.

In practical terms, as to whether your vasectomy precludes you from Diaconal Ordination, that may be something to consult your local bishop about if you choose to do that. If you wish to know the Law more precisely on this matter, you could also consult a local diocesan Canon Lawyer.

As with all moral questions, we need to trust the Spirit who is poured into the heart of each of us, and to commit ourselves to being as genuinely life-giving as we possibly can, given all our circumstances. If you have been as generous and responsible as you think you can be, then you might decide that you do not need to mention this issue at all when discussing the possibility of Deaconate.

CatholicView Staff:

This question is to anyone who can answer it. I am a baptized member of the Methodist Church, my dad is a Methodist minister and I fell into the teenage and young adult trap of the PK (preacher's kid). Anything bad I could have done, I did it. I espoused atheism, marxism..etc. This changed when I became a father. I started seeing everything in a different light. I have even felt a call towards the Catholic Church. I really can't explain. I have attended Mass and doing so has confirmed my feeling it where I belong. In short I have accepted Christ back into my life fully. I want to become Roman Catholic. The problem comes in in that I live with my daughter and her mother. I love her mother and would like to marry her for more than this reason. I am afraid that if I remain celibate with her until we are married in the church she may leave me. She doesn’t believe us having intercourse is a sin, because we have a daughter. I don't know how to answer her opinion, but I feel that it is wrong. I am very concerned about this issue, not only for our eventual marriage but also for our daughter's need for both a mother and father. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I apologize for not asking a very pointed question, but I think I need advice more than a specific answer to one question. Thank you for your time. – Robert

Your conscience is telling you that you are in relationship with Jesus Christ and that having sexual relations with a woman who is NOT married to you but is the mother of your daughter is wrong. You must stay true to your newly formed Christian conscience. Staying faithful to the Lord is a hard teaching but be strong and show your potential wife that you have truly changed your life. Consider making that proposal for marriage so that Christ can be king of your family's home. If she really loves you, she will accept your newly formed Christian faith. Though she may not understand your change, she would at least appreciate that change. Do not compromise your Christian faith and do not compromise your newly founded Christian values. Tell your girlfriend you are now a new person in Christ.

For clarity on your situation please see your parish priest and lay your questions before him. He will be able to assess the things troubling you and he will be able to offer you the solutions that you need. God be with you. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

If God is forgiving, why is the book of Revelations so hostile and vengeful? Thanks, Eyby:

Dear Eyby:

God, in great mercy and love has made clear His path to everlasting life. And to prove that love, He sent His Son to die in order to bring us all salvation with a promise of eternal life. Along with this, He gave us all free will to choose whether we want to live according to Jesus’ teachings or choose a forever in Hell. If we turn away from God we decide our own fate. If we live by our own rules and do not follow God’s way, then it is us who decides hell over heaven, not God. Does God still care? Yes, He does and this is why He wants us to heed His teachings and avoid sin. We must use His gift of FREE WILL to choose eternity by the way we live our lives. The hostility and vengeance you mentioned is because of our disobedience to God’s plan for us. God does not change; His promises and His mercy remain the same. This is God’s unchanging pact with us. It is resolute. – CatholicView Staff

Would an annulment be granted if a divorce was caused by alcoholism (the alcoholic is still in denial) and adultery? – Barb

Alcohol and adultery are serious sins against God, the Holy Sacrament of Marriage and is contrary to God's plan for us. You will need to sit down with your parish priest and discuss these issues fully. What the priest must decide after talking with you will be "Has the marriage been proven invalid” by the actions of the offending party?" This decision will determine the next step. If the priest feels there is a valid reason for your request he then turns over the information to a Tribunal staff of specially trained and experienced priests, religious and lay persons who will examine the marriage with a view of possible annulment. The length of time involved can take anywhere from six months to a year depending on obtaining necessary information and materials. CatholicView Staff

Dear CatholicView Staff:

I had 2 abortions when I was younger. I knew at the time what I did was wrong. Will I be forgiven and be with Jesus in the resurrection? I have sought forgiveness for my sins. Thank you. Sue

Dear Sue:

God is a God of forgiveness. If you have sought the Sacrament of Reconciliation and truly repented, you are already forgiven your sins. If we realize the full gravity of our sins and are contrite God will mercifully welcome you back into His church. It does not matter how large that sin is. And you WILL live forever with Jesus by the power of our Savior’s blood and the love and mercy of God the Father. All the Lord asks is that “you go and sin no more” and fully mean it. Do not cling to the past for you cannot change it. Do not spend time worrying about former actions, but move on to the future, living the life God calls us all to live. Be at peace knowing that you are forgiven and loved. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I've been too embarrassed about this question to ask my local priest. I can not take communion without getting ill. The wafer sticks to the roof of my mouth and makes me gag. I get very ill everytime I try. I've prayed about it so many times. Can you please help me? - Kat

Dear Kat:

We are sorry for the distress you face by not being able to take the body of our Lord during the Sacrament of Communion. CatholicView Staff suggests that you receive the blood of Christ alone if it is offered at your Mass. But if not, it is recommended that you ask Jesus into your heart during this time of communion. This is called a spiritual communion. The Lord Who understands all things will surely make His home in your soul. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I have sinned against the Holy Father Pope BenedictXVI , gossiped about him and used anti-semitic remarks and jokes. I feel terrible about this because I am a devout Catholic and know it is wrong. I won't receive the Lord until I confess this sin. I am ashamed but scared to tell the priest in confession. Please help Me. Your Friend In Christ - George

Dear George:

An option for you would be to go to a priest in another parish who doesn't know you. As you know, any kind of discrimination, especially against God's chosen people, is sinful and not acceptable behavior for any Christian. Tell the priest that you are truly sorry and repentant for your actions. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I went to confession today and when the priest absolved me he did not ask for an act of contrition. He just said God forgives you. I know that the absolution formula starts with God the Father or mercy..........and ends with I absolve you of your sins. Is my absolution valid? – Thanks so much. Mike

Dear Mike:

Yes, it is valid. In good faith you went to confession and if nothing was lacking or held back in the confession you made, this is all you need concern yourself with. It is up to the priest to follow the protocol that the Sacrament of Confession requires. The ultimate forgiveness comes from God Himself with the priest being the human tool that God uses. If the priest has said you are forgiven, you must accept that you are and move on, trying to live as Christ taught. Remember God hears all things. Be at peace, knowing He has heard your sins and they have been wiped away. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

When my 12 year old daughter was baptized, the priest said that when she got older, she could serve as an altar girl, but that she wouldn't be allowed to perform all of the duties that an altar boy could. Is this still the case? I don't feel as if I'm getting a straight answer here. Thanks so much! Yours, Rosemary

Dear Rosemary:

There are no differences in the duties imposed upon Altar Servers, whether they be boys or girls.

All servers must have had First Confession and Communion. NO DISTINCTION should be made between the functions carried out in the sanctuary by men and boys and those carried out by women and girls. The term "altar boys" should be replaced by "servers". The term "server" should be used for those who carry out the functions of the instituted acolyte.

Altar servers perform most of the functions of the former "minor order" of ordained clerics known as acolytes from the Greek word akolouthos or 'attendant'. Church writings from the second and third centuries discuss the role of acolytes, giving the office great importance and honor in the history of the Church. Hope this helps. CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

As I have grown older (late 50's), I have become increasingly troubled by a sense that the enjoyment of sexual intimacy in marriage is sinful - not the sexual intimacy itself, but the enjoyment of it. I have been shown where the Catechism calls us to a "chaste marriage," and I am told this means supression of physical desires, and where this is not possible, the minimizing of carnal pleasure and fighting against "unbridled passions". I am unable to find where the New Testament or any church teachings prior to John Paul II says that the enjoyment of intimacy in marriage is acceptable. I do understand that marriage is divinely ordained, but nowhere do I see that physical pleasure is. When my parents were my age they moved into separate rooms because of my father's "sense of sin". I wish I didn't have this fear, but I do, and it is affecting my own marriage. How can I reconcile this with what the Church taught while I was growing up? I would appreciate your advice. Tom

Dear Tom:

God created us as sexual beings and the enjoyment of human sexuality is acceptable and good as long as it is within the context of the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. God designed Christian marriage to be a loving and pleasurable intimacy which unites two people into one flesh with the end being the procreation and continuance of human life. It is not a sin to enjoy sexual intercourse with your spouse nor is it a gateway to hell.

It is important that you sit down and have a talk with your parish priest concerning your marriage issues. He will also be able to provide assistance in finding a professional marriage counselor. May the Lord strengthen and guide you to seek the help you need. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

If a person lives their life almost free from sin, but is a non-believer, will they still have a place in heaven? - Lizzie

Dear Lizzie:

Good question. God has His own criteria for judgment. Since we really do not know another’s heart, we cannot make that determination. Only God know the inner workings of our heart and soul and will decide this person’s fate. CatholicView Staff.

CatholicView Staff:

If I were to ask the Lord to give me someone else's time in purgatory could I do it for them and could I do it now on earth while I am alive?

Dear Mary:

This is a loving and Christian thing that you propose but this is not the way of God’s plan for us. God judges each person alone. No one can take on another’s suffering or pay the price for them. We each are responsible for our actions while we are here. Only our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is able to take on the sins of the whole world because He is the Son of our Almighty Father.

We, as Christ's disciples while on this earth, can show others what He taught but they must decide, using their Free Will, to follow His teachings here on earth in order to inherit the kingdom of God. You cannot take on a loved one's sins. Jesus, through our faith, already did that for us. And so we individually choose our eternal fate. No one can change that outcome once we are dead. Hope this helps. May the Lord bless you always. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff

Is gossiping considered a venial sin? - Mike

Dear Mike

Gossiping is considered a venial sin if it does not harm another irreparably. For example, if gossiping to a boss will end in dismissal of another from his job or perhaps causes a breakup of a marriage, this becomes a serious sin because it goes far beyond harmless gossiping such as rudeness, bad temper, cursing, etc. Hope this helps.. - CatholicView Staff

APRIL 2005
FATHER AMARO SAUMELL
FATHER MATTHEW KOWALSKI
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

FATHER AMARO SAUMELL

I have heard and read conflicting things about forgiving. Originally, I was under the impression that God expects us to forgive everyone, whether they have asked for forgiveness or not. When we pray the "Our Father", we say "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us". Recently I read an article about forgiveness by a Catholic Priest who said that God forgives us only when repent and ask for forgiveness. If a person has sinned and does not repent, God does not forgive. God only forgives when we repent so wouldn't the same would hold true for our forgiving others but only if they apologize? Are there any good books on "forgiving" that will explain forgiveness? Thank you. - Cynthia

Yes, God wants us to forgive everyone. The Lord's Prayer can actually be a blessing or a curse when we're asking God to forgive us as we forgive. When we forgive, we've done our part. But for the cycle to be completed, the other has to want to receive our forgiveness. The first step toward salvation is to acknowledge our sins and ask for forgiveness by showing ourselves ready to receive it. It means that in our act of contrition we state that we believe that God can forgive sins. When we repent and ask for forgiveness, we participate with the complete cycle. God has forgiven all in Christ, but they have to receive Christ and His mission to complete the cycle. We forgive and pray that the reconciliation is made complete by the other’s acceptance of our forgiveness. But I always forgive if only to be free to live my life to the full now. I think that the best illustration is to read the Gospels. Then you're not getting a mere opinion, but the actual Word. God bless, Fr. Amaro

I have an odd question. What is with this with the number "66"? I've see this number everyday in the past 2 years, and knowing by society and media views this as the devil's number, but isn't the devil's number 666? I have done some research on Google, and I have gathered good aspects to this number, all connected to the bible. One I know is that there are 66 books in the bible. Although I've noticed a lot symbolizes this as the devil's number. But can you clarify this? Why do I see this number concurrently, is God trying to tell me something? Thanks. Christian

You know how we have political cartoons in the newspaper? Without researching what they are all about, people from another culture or another time would be lost in looking at them. Numbers have significance in the scriptures. For example, 12 signifies the fullness of God given authority and institution. There were Twelve Tribes of Israel. There were 12 Apostles. The number of the saved is 144,000 which is a multiple of 12 times 1000. 1000 means much of what it would today, "I've done that a thousand times..." so the number would be the uncountable institution of God's people. The number 10 would be 'the fullness" of something. There were ten commandments. The number seven always denotes the presence of God and is considered the number of perfection. We continue the tradition with the 7
sacraments. So, if 7 is the perfect number, imperfection would be represented by something less. Thus you have the number 6 representing less than perfect. "666" is the "mark of the beast.” The number of scriptures has varied at different times in history and there was never an "intention" to have their number represent anything. The use of numbers must have an intention to be significant. In other words, I would never have a difficulty going to the 66th floor of the Empire State Building. It was not "intended" to be a number for less than perfection. It's just a number. Hope this helps. God bless, Fr. Amaro

I have heard that somewhere in the Vatican, there is a room with paintings or pictures of each and every Pope there has ever been. When there was no more room for any more pictures, it was to be a sign of end-times. Pope John Paul's was told in this rumor to take the final space in that area. I was just curious if you had ever heard anything like this before.
Thank you. James

One must not fall into the present day speculation of “fortune telling” or even entertain such things concerning an eternal plan of God. Listen to the words of Jesus:

Matt 6:31-34 “So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?' or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?' All these things the pagans seek. Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom (of God) and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”

I think Jesus is making it very clear that the Kingdom does not depend on the events of the world, but rather that which is in one’s heart. Besides, do you really think that God would confine his eternal plan by how many pictures are on a wall? Think about it.

Would Jesus “participate” in something that contradicts the human form? Jesus only celebrated what revealed human dignity. We were created with dignity and potential. Each part of us has a special meaning and use. For example, there is no dignity of the human person made manifest in depositing human sperm into an orifice made for human waste or a digestive track. That would go for both hetero and homosexual persons. It blasphemes the design of the human form. If one person truly loves another there will never be a use of danger or harm in the expression of that love. Surely, Jesus would not dignify a celebration of such behavior or life style or intention to live that way with his presence. Anything that distorts the sacrament of marriage “misses the mark,” which is the technical description of sin. Would Jesus participate in the celebration of such things? He might have traveled with sinners. But he never ever celebrated sin by purposely being witness to it or showed his approval if it. A child of God could never contradict the ways of God. God bless, Fr. Amaro

Dear Father:

I am suffering from an eating disorder known as bulimia nervosa. I pray all the time that God will give me the strength to overcome this but each day I fail. Is my problem a mortal sin? Is my soul in danger of eternal hell because of this disorder? Please help. Lizzie

No, your problem is not a mortal sin. It is an illness. It would only become a mortal sin if you do not seek any treatment for it. See a doctor or a counselor. If you've already done that, pray for God's help and put it in His hands. - Father Matthew

I am so confused about my vocation for clerical life. I am 32 years of age, and I don't know what decision I am going to make but I still feel the calling. I am just confused about my vocation. What shall I do? Please help me, Father matthew. God bless!! In Christ's name. - Fausto of Phillipines

The best thing you can do is find a priest who will be a spiritual director for you. Talk to your pastor about this. He will be able to sit down with you and discuss possibilities on how to get started. God be with you during this time and always. Father Matthew

After my Hebrew Bible Classes I have a question about Isaiah's book. Does the Septuagint really translate the Hebrew word 'alma' wrongly? It does not mean "the virgin', but means a young woman. In case it was a translation mistake, is there any other prophetic proof that the Messiah would be born by a virgin? Many thanks. Irina

Translation is more of an art than a science. The Hebrew word in question can mean either a virgin, young woman, or both. It is not a translation mistake, but it is a question of interpretation. Almost every prophecy in the Bible has this need for interpretation. There is no "proof" in the scientific sense, but much proof to one who believes. Father Matthew

Dear Sir,

I am a Catholic as is all my family. I have been married to a Fundamentalist for about a year. She does not wish to change to Catholic and does not believe in its teachings and traditions. However, she also does not want to marry in the church because that would mean raising children as Catholics and she wants to raise our future children as Fundamentalist and I am against that. What should I do if neither one wants to change? Should I get a divorce and avoid any future conflicts? Your view is greatly appreciated. Sincerely, Victor Logan

Victor:

It sounds like a difficult situation. The two of you could really benefit from a professional marriage counselor. You should start out by getting clear on what basic Christian beliefs you both agree on. From there you can figure out what to do next. Father Matthew

CatholicView Staff:

I converted to Catholism from evangelical Protestantism largely through the guidance of a local priest. This priest, a wonderful loving man, is very liberal and quietly breaks some of the "rules" of the church and would let anyone receive communion Catholic or not. I took communion before I had become a Catholic, was this a sin? I had read quite a few Catholic and Orthodox writings and very much believed in the real presence, and took the whole thing very seriously. In fact it was one of the most powerful moments of my life. - Owen

The responsibility of taking communion before your baptism in your case truly rests on your parish priest. It was his obligation to inform you that Church Law decrees that Holy Communion taken in a Catholic Church is intended for those who are baptized Catholics. Sometimes there are those who do accept communion without knowing that we practice “closed communion” (only for Catholics).

The good thing coming out of this is that you did believe and accept the teachings of the Church and fully intended to make Christ and Catholicism part of your life. God’s many blessings, CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Is it a sin to use birth control if it is prescribed for a medical condition, such as a cyst on one's ovary which causes pain?

If you have a medical problem that is life threatening or seriously debilitating the Church sees no problem in hormonal therapy. That is allowed with "birth control pills" for such illnesses. Artifical contraception for the sake of ensuing non-pregnancy is not acceptable for moral behavior. See your parish priest to determine this issue. CatholicView Staff

I am 73 years old, married 50 years to a childhood sweetheart. She is now plagued with Alzheimer disease (since 1996), and has been in a nursing home the last three years. I see her every day and love her dearly.

Meanwhile, for ten months now I have been seeing a 67 yr-old widow and we are happy together. Yes, we do have conjugal relations. Seeing her has given me a new reason for living. My children and their families have met and accepted my new friend, however, my catholic upbringing tells me I cannot receive the sacrements under these conditions, so I am no longer going to church. Is there hope for me? Must I choose between the love of this woman and my salvation? - Gerard

This is very sad and tragic that your wife is being plagued with Alzheimer’s disease since 1996. Certainly CatholicView sympathizes and applauds you for your diligence in remaining faithful to your wife until these past ten months. However, marriage is a Holy Sacrament that must be honored. Keep in mind, the vow you took is very real; a vow of lifetime commitment for better or worse. For the past ten months you have not only broken your Sacrament of Marriage, you are also committing adultery and this is a serious offense in the eyes of God. This you already know. You say your family accepts and approves of what you are doing. Please think of the example you are setting for your children in their own marriages. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly then discarded when the going gets tough.

You ask if there is hope for you in this situation. As long as you are alive there is always hope, for that is why Christ died for us. God is waiting for you to come back to Him, ask for forgiveness and gain His mercy and His help. But you will have to make some changes in your life. Salvation is eternal and no believing Christian would willingly forfeit such an everlasting and perfect gift. I suggest you go to see your parish priest and talk this over face to face as soon as possible. Yours is a hard choice but must be met with courage. CatholicView will pray that you have the fortitude to move forward with faith in the Lord. – CatholicView Staff

One of my children has decided to leave the Catholic Church in favor of a non-denominational Christian group which focuses on helping the needy. I am devastated and feel that I must have done something wrong as a parent that caused her to leave the Church. She denies this, and said she no longer felt a connection to her Catholic faith. I am very worried for her salvation as I was brought up in a very strict Catholic environment. Can my daughter still go to heaven if she does not return to the Catholic faith? - Bernadette

Certainly it is understandable that you are upset that your daughter is no longer attending a Catholic Church. Please know that you did not do anything wrong. Your daughter is an adult and as such, must find her own way. Always remember you have instilled within her Christian values that will never diminish and I thank God that you instilled in her a compassionate heart that is helping those in need. These values will always be with her no matter what church she attends. Do not worry about her salvation for God sees and knows her heart. Not just Catholics will go to heaven. It is not up to us to judge who goes or not. Any one who believes in Jesus Christ as their Savior and follows His teachings will surely go. Be at peace and continue to be a living example for your daughter to follow. - CatholicView Staff

I have read that in a "traditional" quinceanera the young lady would need to have gone through baptism, communion and confirmation. Would this still apply to a not so traditional quinceanera? Also can the same type of ceremony take place for a young lady who will be 16 years old? - Maria

A "quinceanera" is a ceremony that has its roots in the native Mexican culture (Indian). Remember, the life expectancy of any child born in early native Mexican era was very low. So, when a girl made it to 15 years of age, there was a celebration because the family knew that she would live a long time barring any accidents or tragic incidents. In the Indian tradition, a girl was introduced to the community as ready to take her place in the life cycle of her people. A boy was introduced to the community as an adult man between 16 to 18 years of age. When the Spanish came with our Christian faith, the ceremony was changed to give thanks to God the Father through Christ for the life of this girl and her readiness to take her place in the church as an adult woman with responsibilities. A quinceanera is not a sacrament nor is it necessary for salvation. But it is an important rite of passage that we ask God to bless. The Archdiocese of Los Angeles, California, has these basic requirements for a quinceanera: the girl must be baptized and have received her first communion, and if she has not yet received the sacrament of confirmation, then she must be in a class/process to receive the sacrament of confirmation. The reason for these requirements is that the girl who is celebrating her quinceanera must be spiritually prepared to follow Christ and His teachings, be spiritually prepared to understand that this ceremony of thanksgiving for her life demands a Christian responsibility to live the message of Jesus, and that she is consecrating her life to the Will of God Himself. Sadly, some people see the quinceanos ceremony merely as a party, a "coming-out" party ("coming out" for what????). That is not what a Catholic quinceanos celebration is all about. It is about Christ and about being thankful to God for her life. As for your other question if a 16 year old can celebrate a quinceanera, the answer is yes! A quinceanos celebration can be celebrated at any age because thanksgiving and consecration to Jesus knows no age bounds. A most memorable quinceanos celebration was done for a woman who was 30 years old. She said that her family wasn't living their Catholic faith but she always wanted a quinceanos ceremony to thank God. So, she made a conscious decision to accept Christ in her life on her own and consecrate her life to God's Will. Then, she asked if she could have that quinceanos ceremony even though she was thirty years old. A quinceanos ceremony isn't about a party: it is about living your faith in front of the whole world. – CatholicView Staff

Hello, I am not quite sure if I have gone to the right place to ask questions about Messianic Jews. If I did, then please if you can tell me what are Messianic Jews are all about and why are young Jews so attracted to this denominations. Thank you very much. - Russ

Messianic Jews believe that Jesus is the Messiah promised by the prophets of Israel. See Isaiah 53 in your bible that describes the Messiah Who was to come. Messianic services are conducted in a Jewish tradition, with readings from the Torah as well as Jewish liturgy with the centerpiece of their belief being the recognition of Jesus as their Messiah. I believe young people are attracted to Messianic Synagogues because they embrace their heritage and at the same time proclaim the belief that Jesus IS the true Messiah Who came for the Jewish people. This also has great appeal for married couples where one spouse believes in Christianity and the other is Jewish. – CatholicView Staff

I was wondering if you could let me know the proper method of disposing of a crucifix. I would like to avoid bringing it to the church because I do not want to explain why I would like to get rid of it. Is there a way of disposing of the crucifix that would still be acceptable other than bringing to to my local church? Thank you very much for your time. – Christine

Why not give these crucifixes to a Catholic Hospital for patients who would welcome them? Perhaps you would want to give them to a neighbor or to a Catholic retirement home where they would be appreciated? There are many places where people would be happy to receive them. – CatholicView Staff

Why do we go to church on Sundays? When we should be going on Saturday that is the Sabbath. I know it was changed by the church but God didn't change it to Sunday aren't we breaking a commandment? Thank You Father for your answer. - Ann Marie

In the Jewish Religion the Sabbath is on the Seventh day of the Jewish calendar with Sunday being the first day of the week. However we as Christians have set aside Sunday as the Lord’s Day in remembrance of Jesus our Messiah Who rose from the dead on Sunday. And so, for us, Sunday is our Sabbath. The Commandment “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work”. This Commandment is not broken because Sunday becomes our day of rest and remembrance. You will find more information from the Catholic Encyclopedia at this link: http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/14335a.htm or this one at http://www.christusrex.org/www1/CDHN/part3_2.html. God bless you always. Catholicview Staff

My wife is working her way to becoming catholic. We have three children, I'm 24 and my wife is 25. The concern is having three children at our age is financially stressful. We have to work opposite shifts so we can avoid the high childcare costs. Contraception, once viewed by both of us as ok, is now an issue. Because the Church has negative views on contraception, my wife now shares those views. Since I still see contraception as ok, the ultimatum was made no contraception or nothing. What is your advice regarding this? What would be the options available to us? - Sean

It is a wonderful thing that you are sharing your faith together. However, as Catholics, there is only one option made available to you and it is NFP (Natural Family Planning) I am sure you have heard something about it. Those who have used it recommend it highly.You might visit Father Phil Bloom’s Home Page using this link http://sycophants.info/birthcontrol.html. Consult your parish priest who can give more details. God bless you both in your journey of faith. CatholicView Staff

I have some crystals "left over" from the time when I thought the New Age was harmless. I am wondering if I need to destroy them, and if so, how? - Katrina

Throw them away in the confidence that Jesus is your Lord and Master. Know that these things cannot be substituted for your faith In Jesus Christ since God is the Supreme power in your life. There cannot be any gods before God the Father. Nothing else counts. God’s blessings. Go with peace. CatholicView Staff

I am a very devoted Catholic. I want to serve Jesus in all I do. But there is a spiritual struggle that really brings me down that I don't understand. I am so lost at work. I always get brought down by other people's "suggestions" on how to do MY job. I ask to become more like him, but when I ask for help at my job, I feel selfish , because I still want to please people, and this is VERY stressful. I have a new baby and work is taking up so much of me, yet I don't want to give it up. How can I ease up at work? It could be such a fun job I could serve Jesus in if I just knew how. I once got the advice from somebody that it doesn't matter what exactly the nature of my job is, but to just let him work through me. How do I apply it? And if that's right then why do I feel so selfish asking for it? Thanks. - Sandra

You do not make it clear whether your work is with a Catholic Christian organization.It sounds like you really love the Lord and want to do His will in your life. Sometimes when we are overburdened by work responsibilities and the care of others, it is very difficult to be clearheaded enough to make decisions. But the fact that you want to serve the Lord is very precious in His eyes. Keep in mind that even though we don’t consciously know how to go about the work of Christ, others can see your commitment to Him and it becomes a living example recognized by all through your actions and your talk. Stop focusing on pleasing people. Focus on pleasing the Lord only. Everything will follow well. People’s opinions don’t matter in the long run – God’s love is forever. Know that the Lord will always guide you in the direction He wants you to go. He WILL work through you. All our Savior requires of us is that we are open to His voice. He will do the rest. Try not to focus on those who are unkind to you, rather pray for them in private. And also pray for yourself that you will be able to concentrate on the mercy of God, and the blessing He has given you through your beautiful little baby. May our heavenly Father always smile down on you. - CatholicView Staff

Jesus tells a story of an unworthy man that was supposed to be damned but rather his servant pleaded with God and promised to pay his "masters" debts for him and the man was given another chance(don't know exactly what verse) but would this mean then that it's possible for us too to do extra penance or offer my prayers for the penance of others?..I'm trying not use too much of ur time, but please be as descriptive as possible...Thank You, God Bless. – Noel Marie

With Jesus, we have infinite number of chances to repent until that hour when we die. Repentance means that we do not go down the same path of sin that we went before. If you are sincere and want to take advantage of God's forgiveness, just ask and give your life to the Lord Jesus. Our faith in Jesus is a faith of many second chances. Thanks be to God! - CatholicView Staff

Why is Jesus considered to be part of the House of David when he isn't actually related by blood to them? - Elizabeth

Read the Gospel of Matthew. There are two "family tree" descriptions of Jesus’ genealogy, one through his "father" Joseph and one of his "mother" who is also a direct descendant of King David. See Matthew 1:1 for specifics. See also Luke 1:27. Both Joseph and Mary are direct descendants of King David. They were cousins when they married (distant cousins, but cousins nonetheless with the blood and DNA of King David. CatholicView Staff

Hello, I am a divorced-single mother of a beautiful 3 year old daughter. I divorced my husband (who was Baptist) because he was addicted to an illegal drug and I safety. Our divorce was final Sept 2004. I had an IUD inserted in Nov 2004 and I am now feeling that I shouldn't have. Is the IUD considered an abortion-type method in the Catholic religion? I know that I can ask for forgiveness and God will forgive me, but I don't think He will forgive me if I continue to leave the IUD in my body, right? That would be like asking forgiveness, but continuing with the sin one asked forgiveness of in the first place right? I just don't want any more children. Is that wrong? Kristina

God will always forgive. But you must validate that forgiveness by doing what is right and that means having the IUD removed. The intrauterine device (IUD) acts primarily as an early abortion agent by preventing implantation of the week-old human life and already fertilized child. From your letter you are unmarried so there should be no problem about having more children since sex outside of marriage is considered a sin by the Church. When you marry, it is suggested that you talk to your parish priest about NFP or Natural Family Planning. Ask God to give you the courage to amend your life and move forward with His grace. - CatholicView

Father I have confessed part of my sins except one about being divorced. Am I banned from the church and its sacraments? - Ramona

Sometimes it is difficult to confess a sin you know is not acceptable to the Church. Because you do not give complete details on your divorce it is hard to give an answer that would benefit you.

Divorce alone does not keep you from the sacraments. Divorce and remarriage is the problem. You are not banned from attending mass. Go and talk to your priest about this. It may be that your marriage was never legalized in the church or there are other circumstances surrounding the reason for your divorce.It is imperative to get this straightened out. Do not be afraid to get this stumbling block cleared away. God grant you the courage to go forward. – CatholicView Staff

We were wondering about the metaphysical model underlying the papal selection process. I say that the Holy Spirit guides the College of Cardinals, and my husband insists that the College of Cardinals' choice is the one on whom the Holy Spirit chooses for pope (with all of its attendant rights of infallibility when speaking ex cathedra etc.). The problem is that the *choice* of pope must be as infallible as the pope himself; in my model of what's going on, JP II made a disturbing statement on the Holy Spirit's connection to the Church's highest leaders (or their connection to Him) when he decided that a 2/3 majority after 30 failed ballots was not necessary, instead permitting a simple majority. Shouldn't a Coll. of Cards. truly guided by the Holy Spirit be able to reach (near) unanimity? - Jennifer

The Lord works in mysterious ways, and the Holy Spirit blows where It wills. The Lord uses human interaction and human weakness in concert to His Will and Plan. The Cardinals are just human beings like you and me. They have no special insight that any Christian who believes in Jesus have. They are not better than us. And they are not infallible. So, the process of electing a new pope is an example of the Holy Spirit working despite our sinful selves. The election is not infallible, never was, and never will be. The electors must open themselves to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and put aside all sinful inclinations. If they don't, then they vote for their own agenda, not God's (examples in history: there were some bad popes during the renaissance period...yet God did not allow his Church to fall apart since the "gates of hell shall not prevail against it." The Holy Spirit was there to make sure that Church did not stray from God's Plan and Will.) NOTHING is infallible except God and according to the definition of papal infallibility of Vatican Council I (1870), the pope has to rely on the approval of the bishops of the world before he can define an already accepted (there are NO NEW doctrines of faith) doctrine of faith "ex cathedra" (from the chair of Peter) according to the promise of Christ (Matthew 16:16). The last time a pope defined an already accepted doctrine "ex cathedra" was in 1950 when Pius XII defined the doctrine of the assumption of Mary into heaven (which was accepted by the church in the second century and Pius XII made sure that everyone was on "board", both Eastern and Western rites and Orthodox churches before he spoke "ex cathedra.") Since 1950, there have been no "ex cathedra" statements. So, I want to clear up any misconceptions: the election process for the new pope is not infallible. The pope is not infallible (unless all the requirements of Vatican Council I are in place). The church and its human members are not infallible. We are all sinners, and sinners are what make up the church. The new pope is a sinner. The popes before him were sinners. I am a sinner dependent on the mercy of Jesus Christ and His sacrifice on the cross. And that is what is so amazing: despite our sinfulness, despite our human weakness and stubbornness, and despite our total dependence on God alone, the Holy Spirit manages to guide the Church around the world. That is a miracle in itself. The power of God is greater than sin itself. Amazing and I am humbled by it. As the new pope is elected and takes his place on the chair of Saint Peter, I pray that he will be able to lead the church through a world that is filled with pain, suffering, doubt, and war. I pray that the new pope's message will be one of hope calling people around the world to the peace and salvation that can only be found in Christ Jesus. As John Paul II's mission showed to us: papal infallibility is not the issue...it is the heart of the pastor who through his love can changes lives through the proclamation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. People can see the love outpouring from a person. That's why it is believed that John Paul II will be proclaimed a saint within the next ten years. – CatholicView

I have a question that I would like answered. I am confused to who and who can not receive communion in the Catholic church. For instance, can a convicted murderer? - Richard

Yes, a convicted murderer, if he has asked for forgiveness and sincerely repents can be accorded the sacrament of communion. Any Catholic in good standing can receive communion. God forgives if we are truly sorry. This does not mean, however, that he cannot be tried and sentenced for his crime in a civil court of law. – CatholicView Staff

If a soldier is captured by insurgent forces in Iraq, and his death at their hands promises to be particularly brutal or painful (beheading), is it suicide, or a mortal sin, to take a cyanide tablet. Thank you. - Andrew

The commandment, You shall not kill (Exodus 20:13), is a moral foundation in which such decisions about life and death are made. In a war situation, self-defense may include the unfortunate death of the aggressor. Self-defense is a valid solution and God knows that self-defense is natural and instinctual. But what happens when a combatant or civilian is captured in war? Can a captured person resort to taking his/her own life because the captors may cause great bodily harm on the captured? The answer is no. A person cannot take his own life when imprisoned. Jesus did not shy away or run away from his passion and death nor should we. Instead, we join our sufferings to Christ's (see Colossians 1:24: Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh. I am filling up what is lacking in the affliction of Christ on behalf of His body, which is the church, and use that suffering as prayer for the whole church. In the military way of life, though, all captured combatants have the obligation to escape from their captors and help their fellow soldiers to do the same. This is not only acceptable but an obligation for your self-defense and the defense of others. There is an exception to the "cyanide option." The U.S. government has ordered its personnel that hold state secrets to take measures to preserve those secrets even if it meant taking one's life. The person with state secrets that may affect hundreds, thousands, even millions of lives has the obligation to protect the many. In this situation, in which a person might cave in and give away secrets that may cause many deaths, suicide is an option that does not incur sin. The scripture says (John Chapter 15:13), No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. The person burdened with serious and grave state secrets and is captured must weigh his/her options and the effects that the revelation of the secrets might have on the greater good. But most soldiers and civilians working in Iraq do not hold state secrets because most are on a "need to know basis." Many do not know such grave state secrets. So, if any one is captured on the battle field or in the case of Iraq, kidnapped from the streets, suicide is not an option no matter what the captors might do. – CatholicView

I would like to convert to Catholic Church after 10 years of study and mass attendance. I am married to a non-believer and have a little son. Please advise if I can convert alone, without my husband. Will I be allowed to receive the Communion? I shall agree to raise my child Catholic. Thank you very much in advance! - Irene

Most certainly you can become a member of the Catholic Church and receive communion without your husband. You are to be commended for wanting to raise your child in Catholicism. However, you did not state whether your husband is in full agreement. He will be required to sign a document showing that the child is to be raised in the Catholic faith. Your parish priest will be happy to sit down and get things started. May the Lord be with you. - CatholicView

I was banned by my former pastor from his parish because of an issue he admits is totally his fault. As a result of being abused by clergy in the past, I now suffer from "post-traumatic stress disorder, related to abandonment by a major support group" (e.g. the Church). I cannot even walk BY a Catholic church without having extreme anxiety. (Yes, I'm in therapy, thus the diagnosis). The Archbishop says whatever decisions his priests make are final, so I haven't gone to him personally. I feel I have no choice but to leave the Church. Any advice? - Therese

I really don’t know if I can “answer” a letter like this because your situation is so complicated. But I must admit that it raised several scenarios and questions in my mind. The first of which is how and why you ended up putting so much stock in a priest who is merely a human being... one that needs salvation just as much as you? The second question is how this got projected on an entire Church when your explanation only names one person. The third question is if this was the only Catholic church you ever attended. You also never mentioned on what grounds the pastor banned you from the parish. The only grounds that I really know of would be causing disruption or stalking. You didn’t say on what grounds your Archbishop agreed with your pastor. It could be that you left the Church a long time ago. Much more explanation is needed. Whatever the situation, I remind my parishioners that I go to confession to and to never, never put that much stock in me. In fact, I tell them openly not to believe me or my word about anything. I tell them to look up whatever I say. It isn’t “my” church. God bless, Fr. Amaro

Father Amaro:

Is it a sin to admire a material thing too much that you spend an hour or so just looking at it and thinking how beautiful it is? - Hazel

All beauty comes from God. There is nothing in this creation that didn’t come from him. We should all take the time to admire His handiwork, for it says something about him and we can learn more about him. The only thing that we have to watch out for is if it draws us apart from the time we need to be serving him. Admiring beauty? Good for you! I wish more did that.
God bless, Fr. Amaro

Is there any place in scripture that states that baptism must be by submersion? I was asked this by a non catholic co-worker. - Thomas

The confusion comes from knowing that Jesus came up out of the water. No one really knows if there was immersion or not. H20 doesn’t guarantee salvation. It is a sign that illustrates by analogy the conversion within. Don’t be tempted by idle arguments born of cultural bigotries. Don’t limit God by physical realities. Just know conversion by your changed and changing life. God bless, Fr. Amaro

Fr. Amaro:
Peace be with you! I come from Philippines. Why is it difficult to pray unceasingly? But I do have the enthusiasm to pray but it gives me difficulties. I hope you could help me.
Your friend in Christ, Fausto

Praying unceasingly does not mean to be kneeling about or day dreaming about prayer. A waitress who refuses a drink to an intoxicated person is praying. A driver of a car that is deliberately being careful is living his prayer of loving his neighbor. Doing an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay is a prayer. Monasteries have been practicing this type of prayer side by side with daily prayers for centuries. Your life, your very existence is a prayer when it gives glory to God. Hope this helps. God bless. Fr. Amaro

I live in Ukraine and just returned from Britain where I studied. Please explain why Catholics in Britain do not need confessions to take the Eucharist? Here in Ukraine ( as well as in Poland) one cannot approach the Holy Table without confession. Because I am married to a non-Catholic outside the Church, every time I go to confession the priest prohibits me to take part in the Eucharist. That is too painful for me, especially because I know that British Catholics do not need obligatory confessions to take the Eucharist. Please help me to understand. Thank you! – Irina

I cannot speak on the state of confession in Britain, but it is correct that people in a marriage that the Church does not consider valid are not allowed to receive communion. Perhaps there is a way to have your marriage validated in the Church. I hope you can speak to a priest about that. In western nations like Britain and the US, it is possible that Catholics have become too lax about going to confession regularly before receiving communion. But if someone really wants to return to full communion with the Church, they must remove the obstacles in their life. The mere act of receiving Christ in the Eucharist only becomes sacrilegious of someone receives it without being ready. I am sorry that I am not able to give you a more encouraging answer. Father Kowalski

Father Matthew:

I'm a Christian. I grew up Roman Catholic and recently I was presented with a situation. One of my best friends and his friend conspired against me to steal from me. Then they broke into my room and stole. When I asked them about the missing things, they lied to me. Then I finally got them to admit it after I could prove they did it. The following day I took back what they stole. Is that wrong? I just didn't know what to do. – James

In general, it would not be wrong to take back belongings that were stolen from you. You would need to be certain, however, that you had identified the correct items. If there was any doubt in your mind that the items were yours, it would be wrong to take them. - Father Matthew

Father Matthew:

I was curious as to where the archangel Gabriel was during the war in heaven. I know the angel Michael was fighting with his angels against Lucifer and his followers, but where was Gabriel during this time? Thanks, Father – Simon

The doings of the angels are far beyond what humans can know. We know a few things because scripture has told us. Other than that, we know very little about angels. I could guess that all the good angels were fighting alongside St. Michael, but I doubt that any human being can really answer your question in this lifetime! - Father Matthew

CatholicView:

Is it possible for a non-Catholic to be buried with a Catholic Mass, from a Catholic Church, as well as gravesite rituals normally given to professed and Baptized Catholics? – Becky

The Church expects the burial of Catholics in Catholic cemeteries. To avoid breaking close family ties, non-Catholic members of Catholic families may be interred in a Catholic cemetery. In the Archdiocese, Catholic burial, including the funeral Mass, is permitted for a baptized non-Catholic who might reasonably be presumed to desire or prefer Catholic burial services. Such a decision would be appropriate where the non-Catholic party worshipped regularly at the Catholic Church or identified with the Catholic Church more than any other. Speak to your parish priest for more details as members of other Christian faith traditions usually receive the funeral rites of their own Church. Hope this is helpful to you. – CatholicView

CatholicView:

I am Catholic and I will be getting married this year, so when I tried to gather baptism documents we found that my fiance was never baptized. He thought he was baptized and he attends Catholic Church regularly but does not take communion or confession. He wants to be baptized but is not ready for the whole RCIA process. Is it possible for him to get baptized only without taking the RCIA classes? – Helen

If your fiancé has not been baptized he must follow the traditions of the church and that would include going through the RCIA process along with others who are not baptized. I want you to know that a non-baptized person can be married in the church (to a baptized Catholic) without baptism. So, there is no obstacle in you and your finance in getting married in the church.

With the limited information you have sent it is advised that you seek the counsel of your parish priest for answers to your questions. - CatholicView

In answer to your question yes, priests can be chosen as Godparents. God bless. - CatholicView Staff

Catholicview:

If someone who is homosexual marries someone of the opposite sex and that person never finds out, is it a sin? – AC

To enter a marriage based on untruths renders that marriage invalid since an important matter such as sexual identity kept secret is wrong. This will lead to issues in the future of that marriage. The other party is entitled to know this vital point. You will have based a sacrament on lies and secrecy and have entered into a relationship of betrayal. Yes, it is a grave sin.

Marriage must start with honesty. Anything less is sinful and dishonest. You must go and talk to your parish priest for guidance in this matter. May God help you to straighten this situation in the best way possible but you must begin with the truth. – CatholicView

CatholicView:

I have just recently watched "Constantine' and it brought up some interesting questions. If someone commits suicide and is dead but then is revived is that person destined for hell no matter what their beliefs and/or actions are after that happens? I understand that the movie is not a lesson on Catholic Doctrine, but it was something I had to ask a Priest. - Nicholas

The God we as Christians serve is a forgiving God. As long as we breathe and have life within us we can change our lives and live as Jesus taught us to live. If a person survives suicide and asks for God’s forgiveness he or she will be forgiven and welcomed to God’s kingdom. This is why Jesus Christ died on the cross; for sinners who have sinned. And so a person who survives a suicide CAN through faith and God’s mercy be saved. - CatholicView

CatholicView:

My fiance's mother recently lost a nephew due to a drug overdose. He was 35. She now smells gasoline or burnt things constantly. It has only gotten worse. He passed in October 2004. She went to a priest and he said to get rid of all his belongings. Can this mean he is in Hell? Or that something bad has attached itself to his things? I am a very devout Catholic and I know there is evil as well as Good. Thank you for your time. – Debra

Your fiance's mother must think constantly of her nephew and the way he died. It is tragic and sad for the family. His death brings to mind many questions such as what she could have done to have prevented this passing and doubts about her own relationship with her nephew. The smell of gasoline and/or burnt things is odd. Maybe she should see a medical doctor just in case these odors have a medical cause such as too much iron in the blood.

I took the opportunity to talk to a medical professional about a physical or medical cause of these smells. He said that the smells could come from a condition I have mentioned. Also, there could be something in the house that should be looked at. But as for your other question concerning hell, no one can say that her nephew is in hell. No human can judge that. We are not God. We depend on the mercy of God. We do not know what the condition of her nephew's heart was at the time of death. He could have given his life to the Lord and is now free from his addiction to drugs, the pain it caused him, and is now living in the Lord. The Lord forgives. He saves. He brings into heaven all those who love Him no matter when they profess that love. So, let's leave everything in the Hands of the Lord. Trust in the Lord's mercy. Trust that the Lord will take care of her nephew. Let your fiance's mother find consolation in this thought from the New Testament: [Colossians Chapter 1, Verses 19-20] For in Him all the fullness was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile ALL THINGS for Him, making peace by the blood of His Cross through Him, whether those on earth or those in heaven. Since Christ is to reconcile ALL things (notice, not some things, but ALL things), Christ died for her nephew and will reconcile her nephew to the Father in heaven by the blood of His Cross. That is our Christian hope. Let her find her peace in the Word of God, knowing that God will bring all things to Himself at the end of time. – CatholicView staff

Please answer me in Jesus' name. If we touch the Holy Bible and promise something and then not keep it what could be done in order not to be punished by the Holy father? The situation is my lover was asked by her mother to touch the Holy Bible and say that she would never meet me or talk to me again. She might have to do it because we are planning to get our arranged marriage done in 2008. Right now her mother is not happy with my present situation. Please help me. Thanush

Jesus tells us in Saint Matthew Chapter 5 verse 37 in the Holy Bible “But let your ‘yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No”. For whatever is more than these is from the evil one”.

Bible or not, keep your word. But if circumstances happen in which you have to break your word for a GREATER good, then the Lord understands and will help you. The Lord is not limited by cultural barriers. The Lord will stand by you and will do what is best for all involved. So, trust in the Lord completely and if you have to break your word, then leave all your concerns in the Lord's Hands. He alone understands your situation. Think clearly though. Think about what you are doing. Ask the Lord for guidance. And remember, whether you "swear" on the Bible or say simply that you will do something, it doesn't matter. Keep your word just like our Lord and Savior says. But if you must break your promise, remember, the Lord understands. Trust that the Lord will work it out.Hope this helps. May the peace of Jesus Christ be with you during this time. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Must all Catholics over the age of 14 abstain from meat on all Fridays of lent? – Phyllis

People who have completed their fourteenth year are bound by Canon Law to abstain. Anyone who feels that they cannot fulfill the law of abstinence or the law of fasting should consult a parish priest or confessor. There are exceptions to the abstinence and fasting obligations such as illness or chronic health issues. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I work in close proximity with a priest, whom I have gotten to know very well, and have over the past two years developed a very serious crush on him. I feel as though this is keeping my faith and spiritual life from growing and developing and cannot help but feel that I have done something awfully wrong in letting myself "fall" for him. I have told him how I feel about him and he suggested we take a more professional approach to our relationship. I have tried to keep it professional but he has a very open and outward "flirty" nature. I feel I have come to a brick wall with my spiritual life and can no longer move onward until this situation is rectified in some way, is there anything you could suggest? – Liz

Dear Liz:

You must recognize that there is nothing to be gained through this infatuation for this man has made a commitment to Christ and both you and he must honor it. You say this priest is openminded and has a “flirty” nature. If he knows your feelings for him is causing you discomfort he should put a stop to such actions as flirting. And it is to be suggested that you try to transfer to another job and another church so you can get on with your life with someone who would be available to have a proper relationship with you. It is going to be hard but our Lord will help you to overcome this obsession. There is nothing to be gained in this but heartbreak. Be strong and move on. May the Lord give you the strength to get on with your life. – CatholicView

CatholicView Staff:

My husband, of 20 years, is an extraordinary minister of the Eucharist and will not have sex the night before he serves at Mass. He believes that according to the Old Testament, a man should not partake in sexual relations before worshiping. Could you please let us know where the Catholic Church stands on this? - Carol

Dear Carol:

The gift of sexual love between a married man and woman is not sinful or dirty. There is no "stand" that the Church has in regards to those in holy matrimony enjoying and rejoicing in intimate love before serving at the altar of the Lord. There is no sin involved. And since intimate love in sexual expression is a gift from God, there is no need to be ashamed. The Old Testament rules on temple worship DO NOT apply as these temple rules are part of the Old Covenant and are not part of the New Covenant of which Christ summarizes in the two great commandments of our Christian faith: Love God with your whole being and love your neighbor as yourself. No mention of fasting from marital intimacy there! – CatholicView

CatholicView Staff

Our beloved Sacred Heart Priest of 25 years was sent to another island. Our new parish priest is old and very narrow minded. A Lasalette. His sermons are boring, repetitive with a mixture of church and state. If I leave my Catholic parish for the newly built youthful, active, community minded Christian fellowship down the street will I be forever dammed? – Sharon

Sharon:

You do not make clear what kind of Christian fellowship this is. Is this a Catholic Fellowship?

It sounds like you are trying to find a religious home base where you will be free to worship the Lord but you must be careful in your choices. You will need to speak to a priest in another parish with all the details not given here so you can make a wise judgment concerning you place of worship. May the Lord help and be with you in your time of indecision. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:

I am a recovering addict and have been Catholic my entire life. I have two perceptions of God. One is the perception that I was taught as a young Catholic child. This God is Formal, Educated, and a little hard for me to reach on a spiritual level. However, the God that I understand through my recovery is down to earth, humorous, forgiving, a teacher, an empathizer, a Being I can truly be myself with. I am having a hard time understanding how I can combine these two perceptions of God so that I can have both spiritual and religious experiences when I attend Mass. Thank you so much for your time! - Alyssa

Dear Alyssa:

How blessed you are that your faith in God is the force in overcoming your addiction. CatholicView would encourage you to continue developing your relationship with God because He will give you spiritual strength and motivation to overcome any addiction. God is our Creator. He needs no labels. He wants us to have a loving and close relationship with Him. There is a time for formality and a time for intimate spiritual sharing with an informal God. Choose to have an intimate relationship with God through prayer, inviting the Lord to come into your life by faith and belief. God wants to share everything with you. Know that He loved YOU so much He was willing to send His Son to die for you so that YOU can be with Him forever. That is as close as any of us can get. May the Lord bless you. - CatholicView

CatholicView:

This Sunday at mass my 7 year old daughter asked if she could be an altar server. Both of the servers were girls during that Mass. I told her she could definitely be one when she was old enough. Two days later I was reading a book and it said that the alter servers are suppose to be boys only. If that is true, I don't want to let my daughter do it, even if our church allows it. I would like her to be involved though, so is there another job she can do for the priest? – Kim

Dear Kim:

Times have changed and girls do have a role in the Mass. The United States Conference of Bishops, with Vatican approval, in 1986, gave females the opportunity to serve at the altar. You are correct in saying that before 1986, the Church did not allow girls to be serving at the altar, nor in any liturgical ministries. Now, all lay ministries are open to anyone who is a practicing Catholic. Having girls serve at the altar strengthens unity between the sexes in the Church. In other areas of service at mass the Church has opened doors to women in positions of reader, Eucharistic minister and many other services. The “doors” are wide open. Encourage your daughter to be an altar server! - CatholicView

CatholicView:

It was my belief that once ordained a priest is a priest forever. In the case of the priests being defrocked, are they still empowered to perform the consecration of the bread and wine? – Jo

Dear Jo:

Yes, a defrocked priest can perform the consecration of bread and wine because this degradation does not take away the character of the sacrament of Holy Orders, which is indelible (LXXXII. 8). You will find more on this subject using this link. http://www.nd.edu/Departments/Maritain/etext/catsum08.htm . God bless you and keep you in His mercy. – CatholicView Staff.

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