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SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER/2016



ASK A PRIEST

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER LAZARUS CHAWDI
PRIEST STAFF
CATHOLICVIE
W STAFF





CATHOLICVIEW STAFF



 
"My boyfriend and I have been together 16 years.  If we marry
at the courthouse, would this be acceptable to God?" - Rachel

CatholicView Staff:         

My boyfriend and I have been together 16 years. We are both Catholic.  We have wanted to get married for years now, but financially are not able to have a traditional wedding.  If we were to get married at the courthouse would this marriage be acceptable in God's eyes and would our union be blessed?  Sincerely,  Rachel

______________________________________________________________

Rachel:

The Church does not recognize a civil wedding ceremony as valid when both people are Catholic.  If a couple is married in a civil ceremony, Catholics are asked not to take the Eucharist until the marriage is blessed and recognized as valid by the Church. The reason for this is that the Church recognizes marriage as a spiritual reality, not just a piece of paper or a legal formality.  If you have been intimate with each other during these 16 years, please take into consideration that you have also sinned.

If you have been married in a civil ceremony or planned to, you must have the marriage recognized as valid by the Church.  Talk to your pastor, who will probably recommend a process called convalidation.   It will involve an expedited marriage preparation process (to determine that there is no impediment to the marriage) and a simple celebration of the sacrament of marriage so that the consent of the couple to be married can be witnessed by the Church. Another process, called radical sanction, is used to recognize a marriage as valid without a formal exchange of consent (vows).

Although the both of you want to be married as soon as possible, giving your selves to one another for the rest of your lives is a huge commitment. Taking the time to prepare for that lifelong sacrament of marriage will make your marriage stronger. 

I hope this helps both of you.  May the Lord bless your upcoming marriage.  - CatholicView Staff

 


"My friend is a divorced Catholic.  His ex-wife is a non-Catholic
and without consent, she enrolled  their child in a Catholic
school.  C
ould my friend's daughter also been baptized
without his knowledge or consent?  Thank you. "
- Jean

 

CatholicView:

My friend is a divorced Catholic.  His ex-wife is a non-Catholic that has remarried a divorced Catholic.  Without my friend's consent, his ex-wife enrolled their child in a Catholic school, which my friend is okay with.   Recently, at a Parent-teacher night, my friend learned that all of the 2nd grade students would be celebrating First Communion, including my friend's child.  To my friend's knowledge, his child was never baptized in the Catholic Church.  My question is this...could my friend's daughter have been baptized without his knowledge or consent?  Thank you. - Jean

_____________________________________________________________ 

Jean:

You wrote that your friend's ex-wife has remarried a divorced Catholic.  The ex-wife, not a Catholic herself, has possibly had the child of her first marriage celebrating First Communion.  But your friend does not know if his child has been baptized at the Church. 

I would suggest that your friend, the father of the child, asks his ex-wife directly about these possible events.  If the wife does not respond about this, then he should go to the church, tell them he is the father of the child and enquire if, indeed, his child was baptized there and later celebrated Holy Communion. 

I hope this helps.   - CatholicView Staff

 


"I no longer want to be alive. Is this a sin?  I will not commit suicide
as I know that is forbidden.  Please help me?" 
Arro  

CatholicView Staff:

I no longer want to be alive. I have felt this way for quite some time. The question; Is it a sin to want this life to end? I understand that it is a gift from God. Yet, it's becoming unbearable. I will not commit suicide as I know that is forbidden. Is this a sin?

I feel that I am that guy that is "neither warm, nor cold" and as such am offending God.  Let me know about this too.  I have a strong suspicion that God doesn't like me, and in fact thinks that I'm an asshole, not worth the time. This last sentence is sincere. Please help with these heavy questions. - Arro

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Arro:

I am sorry to hear that you no longer want to live.  As you know, it is a sin to give up your life.  And you are correct in knowing that your life belongs only to the Almighty God Who created you.

In Psalm 18:6, God commands us to pray, to bring our troubles before Him.  Please pray to the Lord but believe that He knows all things about you and He has a plan for your life.  But know your life belongs to God, our Father.  Keep in mind your days are all planned and numbered by God and nothing will shorten them outside of His will.  And if you take your life, yes, it is a sin.

Rather than wanting not to live, pray for God's strength and His grace, to stand fast in whatever suffering you are experiencing.  Put your trust in God and His Precious Son, Jesus Christ.  Jesus tells us in John 10:10:
“I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” 

When you think you cannot go on living any longer, pray and let God remind you that He will help you to keep moving forward.  Remember, there is no suffering or trial that comes upon us that the Lord does not see.  He loves you and will give you the courage to move forward with your life, in spite of what is happening.  Your time on earth may not be perfect but our Father will give you His eternal strength to move forward.  Why?  Because He has plans for you.  Why, you ask?  Because He has great love for you.  

You are never alone, for the Lord will always guide you and give you courage.  He will give you hope and joy; He will give you hope to look ahead. 

Pray always.  Sit quietly, letting the Lord touch your heart and send His peace upon you.  He knows what is troubling you and will give you the peace that transcends all human understanding, because He cares for you.  He already knows what is in your heart for God sees all things, but if you take your life, you will have committed a grave sin.  Why?  Because our lives belong to Him. We do not know when He will call us home.  But to take it upon ourselves and give up living is wrong in the sight of our Heavenly Father. 

Yes, sometimes some people feel like life is not worth living.  But this is the day that we must now lean on Jesus Who paid the ransom for all of us at the Cross.  Ask Him to "walk with you" through this time of wanting to die, and through prayer, let Him comfort you, and give you hope for this future here on earth..  Let Him bestow serenity and peace to you.  One day, God will take you home to everlasting life where joy reigns.

Keep in mind, that praying to God to allow us to die is sinful because doing so indicates a lack of faith in Him and Jesus Christ our Savior.  Let God fix your desire to die with His strength.  Move forward, and with prayer, let God set you free from the desire to end your life.

Here is a short prayer for you:                                                                                               




"Heavenly Father, You have promised to sustain me
through all the trials I must face. I beg you to
ease my suffering of wanting to die.  But
in all things, let Your Will,  not my will,
but Yours be done. I ask this
 through Your Mighty Son,
Jesus Christ.
 "Amen.”

Arro, go in peace.  Pray always, asking that Almighty God strengthens you to keep moving forward.  Become strong in the Lord because He      .  loves you.   - CatholicView Staff
 
 



 
"How do I ask for the forgiveness for the sin of incest?"
 Jovita

CatholicView:

How do I ask forgiveness for the sin of incest?  God bless you. -  Jovita

_____________________________________________________________

Jovita:

Incest is sexual intercourse between close blood relatives, including brothers and sisters, parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren, or aunts or uncles with nephews or nieces.  It is a crime in all states, even if consensual by both parties.   It is also often co-existent with sexual abuse  to children.

If you are truly sorry to have committed this sin of incest and seek repentance, you must pray to God for forgiveness and mean it from your heart.  You must ask the Lord to give you that forgiveness.  And you must prove this by the way you live in the future; by withdrawal from these horrific sins and turning to our Heavenly Father, truthfully adhering to the promise that this will never happen again.  God WILL then forgive you and purify you from all unrighteousness.  1John 1:9 tells us the following: "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us, (YOU) these sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. "

Make evident, by the way you live, Jovita,  that you have really turned from these sins and turned back to Almighty God.  May the Lord bless you. -  CatholicView Staff

 
"I am planning a trip to Nepal to volunteer at a rural school but the
closest Catholic Church is over 12 hours away.  Is it acceptable
to miss Sunday Mass? - Regina

 

CatholicView Staff:

I am planning a trip to Nepal to volunteer at a rural school.  I really think it will be a great opportunity to help poor Nepali children, but there is one issue: the closest Catholic Church is over twelve hours away.  In this situation, when there is no accessible Catholic Church, is it acceptable to miss Sunday Mass?  I plan to go for about a month.  Also, would I have to get a dispensation from a priest?  If so, can it be any priest or does it have to be my pastor?Thank you! -  Regina

________________________________________________________________

Regina: 

What a beautiful thing you are doing in helping the children of
Nepal!  Our Lord will bless you greatly for helping others, and yes, this is a beautiful opportunity which God will sanction.  Where there is no accessible Catholic Church for you to attend Mass nearby, please know that God understands, for you are doing His work.   Absolutely!
 
That you are volunteering and helping these children for a month is a great Christian thing that our Lord does not take lightly. 
Certainly, you can discuss this with your parish priest or any priest should you desire.  

Attending a Catholic Church that is a great distance of twelve hours away from this rural school would be difficult.  And so, simply  give our Lord an hour or more in prayer on the Sabbath, reading your bible and spending time meditating.  God knows your heart and is pleased that you are helping the Nepali children in need.  This is a wonderful opportunity to work for the Lord

May He bless you and keep you safe on your journey.  -  CatholicView Staff
 

 
"If I have sinned and prayed for repentance, is it wrong to
 keep praying over and over for that same sin to be
forgiven?"  - Ashle

CatholicView Staff:

May I ask a question?  If I sinned, and have prayed for repentance, is it wrong to keep praying over and over for that same sin to be forgiven when it is not repeatedly committed, or am I in faith, to know the Lord has heard my prayers and that He forgives me? - Ashle

For example, I told a lie and I have prayed for forgiveness, but I still feel bad, so each night I ask forgiveness for this sin.  If the sin is not repeated, should I ask God's forgiveness and move on or is my guilt a sign that it's good to keep praying for forgiveness?  Thank you!  -  Ashle 

________________________________________________________________

Ashle:

Thanks for your question.  Once you ask God for forgiveness, are truly sorry and mean it, He forgives you and tells you He has not only forgiven you, He tells in Psalms 103:12 "He has removed our transgressions (sins) from us as far as the East is from the West.  How great is our Lord!

Go in peace, Continuing to always avoid the occasion of sin!!  - CatholicView Staff

 


"My husband has left me after 45 years of marriage.  He
has prostrate cancer and depressed.  God seems to
have left me.  - Maria

CatholicView Staff:

My husband has left me after 45 years of marriage.  It started after he found out he had prostrate cancer and he is depressed.  I have never been alone in my life .at bedtime.  I barricade myself in the bedroom so no one will get in.  I am afraid.  I pray to God but He seems to have left me.     Maria

___________________________________________________________

Maria:

I am so sorry to hear that your husband has left you after so many years of being together.  One thing you must do is pray for your husband's depression and illness.  Hopefully he will see that this is the time when he really needs you during his fearful time of finding out he has prostrate cancer.  Did your husband talk to a good doctor about this health issue?  So many people can survive if they can get a proper doctor.

It is a scary situation but there are cures for this if he can get treatment right away.  If you can speak with him, try to get him to visit a doctor or a hospital and get care for his condition. 

Please pray for your husband.  Let our Almighty God gave you courage and strengthening during this time of loneliness and sadness.  Here is a short prayer for you:

"Heavenly Father, You are the source and strength for my husband
who has prostrate cancer. 
Empower him with hope for I know You
can do all things if it is Your Will.  Lord, let him get the help he
needs for his cancer.  I ask you to soften his heart
and let him see that I still love him and will help
him through this scary time.  
Grant him
courage because he is depressed
and afraid. I ask all this through
Your Son, Jesus Christ."
AMEN!

Depend on God Who loves you very much.  May God bless you, Maria.  -  CatholicView Staff
 



FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM


"I am Catholic.  My first wife and I divorced after 33 years and I met
a divorced woman.  We civilly married and I found out her previous
marriage was Catholic and she and her ex had a daughter who does
not attend mass. 
I know that God will give me the grace to get out
of any situation but to me this is harder.  - Bernie


 

Father Kevin:
 
I am a marriage annulled Roman Catholic after a 33 year marriage. The divorce was never my idea and I always believed until death do us part.  I figured God’s grace could get me out of anything and prayed that it is “not good for man to be alone.” I met a down on her luck (3 previous marriages) woman with children and got civilly married.  Cannot believe how stupid I am; I later found out her last marriage was an RC marriage.  She went through the annulment process for her ex.  He has disowned her and his own daughter that still lives with me.  My wife is not a practicing Catholic and refuses to go through another annulment process.  Myself and all my peers think there is nothing wrong here; but I have a nagging conscience and I need a priest with the power of discernment. There is no way my wife or step-daughter could survive without me. I have never been blessed with the gift of celibacy.  Again I know that God will give me the grace to get out of any situation but to me this is harder.  I do love my wife and I do go to Church. Advice?  -  Bernie


______________________________________________________________

Dear Bernie:

Thank you for your question which I believe you have well and truly answered for yourself. You have done all you can to put things at right in every sense, with regard to your own marital history and your wife’s. You are living with great integrity of heart. The Church’s laws are meant to liberate not imprison us, and hidden away in Canon Law is a recognition that our conscience has the last word in all moral matters.

We have the capacity to deceive ourselves and sometimes we do just that.  However, if we place ourselves humbly in God’s presence and listen for the truth of things and know that we have done our very best in our decision-making, we can be pretty sure that no law will get in the way of that truth.

Since your wife has been through the annulment process previously, there is nothing to be gained in pressuring her in any way to repeat the dose.  As you say your wife and step-daughter need you and therein is the higher value that is guiding you.

In some of these instances all we can do is throw ourselves at Jesus’ feet and leave it to him after we’ve done all we realistically can.  If He were chatting with you now I think He would advise you to be patient, prayerful and as loving as you can be, and to leave the rest to God.

As you probably know, Pope Francis is moving to ease this burden for people, but as we are such a big family of faith, such changes come slowly!  God bless you and your family Bernie.  FATHER KEVIN

 


"After divorcing I did not receive a declaration of nullity for
my first Catholic marriage.  But I have remarried another
non-Catholic in a civil ceremony and are in a final stage
of divorce after 2/1/2 years.   Am I in a state of mortal
sin?"  - Buster

Father Kevin:

I have not received a declaration of nullity for my Catholic marriage with my first wife.  She and I divorced, and I have since remarried a non-Catholic in a civil ceremony, but she (the second wife) and I are in the final stage of divorce after being separated for two and a half years.  Am I in a state of mortal sin?   If so, would I still be if, after this second divorce, lived alone as a celibate man?  I see no hope of reconciliation with my (true) Catholic wife and no grounds for a declaration of nullity.  Many Thanks! -  Buster

________________________________________________________________
 

Hi Buster:

Thanks for your question.  The first thing I’d say to you is relax!  You’ve been through enough strife without looking for more.

Firstly, only you know the state of your own soul. That is purely between you and God. Committing to a civil marriage is technically outside the Church’s law.  Sometimes we may be turning away from God in such a situation, and sometimes it may be the only course that seems to be open to us. And while we move beyond where the law allows, we may not be turning away from God at all.  Only you know the truth of that in your own heart. The law is there to guide us, but is not meant to dictate to our consciences.

So secondly, I encourage you to spend some prayerful time in God’s presence and allow God’s  Spirit to guide you  

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a beautiful gift we have for setting us free from our burdens and worries.  Our focus there is on God’s mercy rather than our own sin, and in that comes our healing and new freedom.  If you sense that this would be helpful to you I encourage you in that direction so you can name your situation in the setting of the Sacrament.

In the meantime, I will hold you in my prayer.  Every blessing.  FATHER KEVIN

 



"As Catholics, do we believe those with different
religious belief can still enter Heaven?"  -  Aidan

Father Kevin:

As a Catholic, do we believe that people who have different religious  belief can still go to Heaven? - Aidan

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HI Aidan:

The answer is “yes.” That is Catholic teaching.  Have a read of the Vatican Council’s Constitution on the Church in the Modern World and you will find it expressed very well there.


When I was a kid we used to somehow think that Catholics would be the only ones to get God’s nod of favour at the end of the journey.  This was born in part of the defensive attitude we had developed towards people of other traditions following the Reformation particularly. We’ve grown a bit since I was a kid in our understanding of the ways in which God’s wonderful grace works.  Every blessing.  -
FATHER KEVIN

 

 

 

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