FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
Father Bill: I am currently a full time student at a 4 year institution and work part-time on the weekends. Although the government pays most of my education, my parents try to provide as much as they can for the rest of my housing & food expenses. They don't have blue or white collar jobs and are at an economic disadvantage right now. I just found out that the franchise that I'm working for is on the pro-choice list of companies that fund money for abortion. I've been working there for about 5 months and just found out. I'm currently involved with the "40 days for life" campaign and fighting for lives to be saved. I'm unsure if I should quit my job or not, seeing as it provides me with a good schedule and helpful financial need. What should I do, Father? __________________________________ Dear Miguel, Let me first commend and thank you for your personal commitment to the pro-life cause. Your heart is obviously in the right place as you seek to witness your faith in a world that is very complicated and often hostile. I don't want to sound as if I'm taking the easy way out in answering your question, but I really think you are the best one to judge the proper course of action here. I do not think that you are morally bound to quit this job any more than we citizens are morally bound to quit our by-and-large pro-choice country. Still, if working for this employer makes you uneasy, then by all means try to find a different job. However, your leaving the job is not likely to change anything, nor are you in any way guaranteed to find work with an employer who is not pro-choice. In a free and open society like ours, we often have to resign ourselves to the challenges of living in a diverse culture. This simply means that we can't control how others live or what causes they support. The fact that we have to rub shoulders with those whose values differ significantly from our own is simply part of the complexity of our lives. I think it's also important to keep in mind that pro-choice people are not necessarily bad people. Many—probably most—of them believe that they are doing the right thing. Perhaps the kind persuasion and gentle witness of pro-life people like you can help to change hearts—and save lives. May God bless you, Miguel. - Father Bill Father Bill: God said to forgive your enemies not 7 times, but 77 times. Does this include a sociopath? I was best man at his wedding. After his divorce he was low on funds so I let him move in until he got back on his feet. Over the next 10 years he sabotaged every relationship I was in. This happened over 30 years ago. I have AvPD - never married and never had children. Am I still expected to forgive? I am quite bitter. - RK __________________________________ Dear RK, Thank you for your question. It is an important one, as it touches many facets of the Christian life. Since I had to look up AvPD for myself, I will, for the sake of other readers, include here the World Health Organization's medical description: F60.6 Anxious (Avoidant) Personality Disorder Personality disorder characterized by at least 3 of the following:
(a)
persistent and pervasive feelings of tension and apprehension; Personality disorders certainly complicate the lives of those who suffer from them. Regardless of your personality disorder, however, the question remains a simple one: Am I still expected to forgive? I would say that the answer is equally simple: Yes. But let me explain. I believe that Jesus' teachings about forgiveness are misunderstood by many people, because they think that it's something we are doing for someone else. So often this simply is not the case. When I forgive people for something done to me long ago, they may not even know that I've forgiven them. They may not even care. They may not be changed even slightly by my acts of forgiveness. No, I believe that Jesus taught us to forgive in order to change ourselves. As you know, RK, bitterness is a terrible burden to bear. It eats away at us. It colors our thoughts. It affects our relationships. It does lots of bad things—and no good things. Not a single one. It doesn't even change the circumstances that brought it about. In short, bitterness is a useless waste of emotional and spiritual energy. No one can be happy and bitter at the same time. It is absolutely impossible. The only way to get rid of bitterness is to let go of it, and in so many cases this means we have to forgive someone—not for their sake, but for ours. Jesus understood this very well, so He taught us that forgiveness is an essential part of our spiritual lives. He also reminded us that, if we want forgiveness for ourselves, we must be willing to do the same for others. The wonderful Twelve Step programs that have saved so many lives have a saying that can be very helpful: Let go and let God. Forgiveness is one way of doing this. It is a way of putting into the hands of God the hurt and pain that others have caused us, and God has made it very clear that He wants to help. In your case, forgiving the man who brought chaos into your life does not mean that you have to like him or invite him to renew your relationship. For one thing, he probably has never asked you to forgive him. But if you can begin the process of forgiveness—yes, it will probably take some time, it could also begin to change your life. Bitterness never wears well; forgiveness always does. May God bless you. - Father Bill
"What does the passage in Isaiah 34:14 refer to? Father Bill: In some versions of the Bible (Common English and Derby), the passage Isaiah 34:14 refers to Lilith: "Wildcats shall meet with hyenas, goat-demons shall call to each other; there too Lilith shall repose, and find a place to rest." I wondered if you know what this passage was referring to? ________________________________ Dear Tom, Context is very important for understanding scripture. Actually, three contexts are important. One context is the textual context itself: what is happening in the chapters and verses that surround any given quote. Another context is the historical context. In the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament) this means having some idea about what is happening to the people of Israel at the time this book of the Bible is being composed. A third context is the cultural context: what the people are like in the time frame of this particular book. Once we have an idea of these contexts, we can make more sense of at least some of the puzzling passages we may run across. Textual Context – In Isaiah 34 the Lord is meting out judgment against Edom, one of Israel's enemies. This chapter is filled with much threatening and vengeful imagery. The prophet is drawing from as many frightful visages as he can come up with to emphasize that bad, bad things are going to happen to Edom. Historical Context – This part of the Prophet Isaiah is historically situated in the second half of the eighth century before Christ. Let's just say that there was a lot of political turmoil happening at that time, and Isaiah's role was to let the people know that the Lord was still with them, even through all this mess. Cultural Context – While we share the same human DNA as the people of the eighth century before Christ, there is a huge cultural chasm that separates us from them. We just don't think like they did, nor do we experience the world and the universe in the same way they did. As I already suggested, in the verse you cite and the verses that precede and follow it, the prophet, speaking for the Lord, is pulling out all the stops in threatening Edom. In essence, the Lord is taking the side of Israel, and Edom is not going to get away with defying the Lord. Lilith was simply “a female demon thought to roam about the desert” (footnote from the New American Bible). This was undoubtedly one of those cultural myths peculiar to this era and this part of the world. It doesn't mean that there actually was a female demon—or goat-demons (satyrs), for that matter. It's all part of the threat: Edom, watch out! You have no idea what you're getting into! I hope this helps, Tom. May God bless you. - Father Bill
"Does
our Catholic Faith inform us that deceased relatives Father Kevin: Does our Catholic faith tradition/holy scriptures inform us as to whether our deceased loved ones have ongoing knowledge of their relatives daily lives on the earth? - Davi ______________________________________ Hi Davi: It’s a good question to wonder about really. I have just lost my youngest brother a month ago and I often find myself wondering what he knows about us now. Who knows? We don’t and the Church doesn’t spell it out too much. We certainly ask the Saints to intercede for us, presuming they know what we are dealing with in our lives. I suspect that the presence of God is so completely satisfying that our deceased relatives are primarily caught up in the things of God. Having said that we still live on in their memories somehow.. Just how, we will have to wait till it is our turn. It is part of God’s mysterious design that we simply have to surrender to. Good wishes. - Father Kevin
Father Kevin: My husband is not Catholic and actually feels a call to the ministry like his father and grandfather. Would it be wrong if I go to Mass on Sunday morning to go with him to a Bible church afterwards? As far as kids..well, we do not have any yet and he is not against them being raised Catholic. I never saw this coming. We have been married 7 years and this is recent he said he has been feeling the call of God. What do you advise? - Anna ________________________________ Dear Anna: Thanks for your letter. There are many ways in which a person can serve God and seek God’s face. While we believe in our Catholic Church as having the fullness of the mystery that Jesus meant to reveal for us, the Church teaches that the other Churches participate in this mystery in their own way. I think it is a lovely statement of support for your husband to join him at his “Bible Church” – remembering of course ours is a Bible Church too!! The only possible concern could be if the people from that community try to convert you or control your faith journey in some way. Some of these evangelical Churches need to be in control of people’s lives, (a bit like the Catholics have done over the ages!). If you have a priest you have confidence in, you might reflect on your experiences with him from time to time. You are always welcome to contact me too. Every blessing to you and your husband. - Father Kevin
Father Kevin: How could I best handle a situation where an acquaintance has lied about me on more than one occasion? Though I have never been in any type of trouble (legal or otherwise), I am running into this obstacle that has caused me troubles. Is there something underlying that the Lord wants me to work on that he is using these lies to get my attention or is it just some human foible that is causing this other individual to lie outright? – Faith _______________________________ HI Faith, Not knowing your situation properly I hesitate to give you any advice or presume to know what God is saying to you. All I can think of is that if someone keeps lying about you, why would you bother hanging around this person? Maybe it’s a case of your needing to “shake the dust from your feet” and move to a place that is more respectful and safe for you. If you need to have conversation with this person, perhaps it would be a good idea to have someone else present with you who could back you up with the truth about what has been said. Every good wish and blessing. - Father Kevin
Dear Father: My Godfather was recently convicted of a heinous crime and he has brought disgrace on the family. I would like to have his name removed from my Baptismal Certificate and annul his being my Godfather because his name is now well-known by the crime he committed. He has always asserted his innocence but he took a plea deal and was adjudicated guilty. Can he be annulled as my Godfather? In other words, can someone be "un-godfathered"? Does it require a formal process in the Church? - Mark ____________________________ Dear Mark: I am so sorry to hear that your baptismal sponsor has brought such pain to you and your family through his actions. At one time, your baptismal sponsor was someone who was trusted by your parents. Sadly, his actions later has caused such emotional and spiritual upset. As to your question about striking his name from your baptismal records, there is no process to do that. The baptismal record is an official and recognized document that points to your birth, place of birth, and your parents. The baptismal sponsor names are a matter of record for the church. Many people use these records to trace their family ancestry. The baptismal record is permanent. The record cannot be changed. The information is there not only for you but as a record for future sacramental participation. I know that you don't want his name there. But the record of data is set. There is no way to remove a baptismal sponsor's name. But that name on your record in no way reflects upon your character and your dignity as a child of God. All of us, in our family and sacramental records, have someone who we would rather not be there. But life is not always as "clean and neat as we would like. This man's criminal actions does not reflect anything negative on you and your family. You are in control of your life and destiny by God's design and will. - The Priests at CatholicView
Father, My boyfriend is divorced and was previously married in the Anglican Church. However, he was never baptized. Is his marriage valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church? His ex-wife has been baptised. Thank you. - Izabela __________________________________ Dear Izabela: When a person is not a baptized Catholic, sacramental canon law recognizes all marriages between unbaptized or baptized Christians of other denominations as valid and sacramental. The situation you described is clear that your boyfriend had entered a valid marriage in the Anglican Church and is valid in sacramental canon law of the Catholic Church. Your boyfriend, to marry in the Catholic Church, would have to initiate the annulment of a sacramental marriage so that he can be free to marry you sacramentally in the Catholic Church. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: My divorced sister is marrying a divorced Catholic. Both were abandoned by their ex-spouses and want to be married as soon as possible. Now they don't want to go through the long process of annulment so they have chosen to be married instead in the Episcopal Church. Is their marriage valid? And am I wrong in refusing to attend their wedding? - Lily ____________________________ Lily: I am sorry to hear that your sister suffered so much in the agony and pain of a divorce and abandonment by her spouse. Your sister deserves to be happy and to be loved and to love. They have decided not to initiate the annulment process so that they could have their marriage in the Catholic Church. So, for them, their marriage will not be sacramentally recognized by the Church (invalid marriage as you would say). But family ties are to be maintained and family is paramount in God's plan for humankind. If I were in that situation, I would attend the wedding and support my family member (and as a priest, I attended a wedding of my brother who was married outside the Church because I wanted to support my brother because family ties must be kept no matter what, plus I knew my brother deserved to be happy and loved, so I left everything in God's Hands). So, in response to your question, "And am I wrong in refusing to attend their wedding?", my answer is YES. Of course, if you do not want to maintain family ties, and feel that you cannot support your sister who deserves to be happy and loved, then don't go. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView: Father, let me ask you about the prefaces. Last Sunday (26th Sunday), the preface is Ordinary Time VI. and the preface for this Sunday (27th Sunday) is Ordinary Time VIII. I have a book entitled 'Handbook of Prayers' written by Fr. Charles Belmonte -- James Socias. I use it as a small missal. How can I know the cycle of prefaces? - Jericho
_________________________________ Jericho: According to liturgical norms, the celebrant priest is free to use any preface for any of the Eucharistic prayers as is appropriate for the Mass and biblical readings of the day. Your little missal that you use is choosing the prefaces that the editors think may fit the theme of the day. There are no cycles of prefaces to be used at Mass. As a priest, I chose the preface that best fits the liturgical plan of the day. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView: There has been a visiting priest at our parish who celebrates mass on one day a week and there were several abuses in regards to the way in which he says the Mass. After informing the parish priest and nothing being done I wrote an email, took some pictures and a short film of these abuses and sent them to our Bishop to resolve these errors, which he did. Now the parish priest says I am not allowed to use my camcorder because it is disruptive which is not true. For example, I place the small hand size camcorder unattended on a table behind the last pew where I sit. Nobody even notices it is even there. Should I be able to do this if I so choose to use it to resolve issues? Your help would be greatly appreciated. - William ___________________________________
Dear William: Your appreciation for the Mass and liturgy is to be commended. I am so grateful to God to know that you have a great love for the sacraments and how the sacraments are expressed by the celebrant of those sacraments and liturgical rites. At the same time, I am concerned that you have set yourself as judge and jury in God's House of Prayer by recording the liturgical rites in your parish church. Yes, your use of a camcorder is disruptive and bothersome. It is a violation of the privacy of others who are there to worship and adore God with the community of faith. I would take the directive of your parish priest with a humble heart and not use your camcorder at Church. It is not only disruptive, it is intrusive on the privacy of others. In answer to your question, "Should I be able to do this?" The answer is simple, NO. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView: Hello father, was just wondering why if the color white is know as a symbol of light, purity, goodness etc.. then why is the typical daily wear of a priest and other religious members mostly black and not mostly white? Was just wondering what the reasoning behind that was. Thank you for your time. - Stephen ____________________________ Stephen: Yes, the color white is the symbol of light and purity and joy. But the attire of a cleric's uniform is black in color unless one is in missionary countries where white is the preferred color of keeping cool in the tropics. The reason why I wear black is simple: black is the symbol of death, death to sin. My whole life is dedicated to being dead to sin and alive for Christ. I am reminded of the verse from Romans, Chapter 6, Verses 3-4: "Or are you unaware that we who were baptized in Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were indeed buried with Him through baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might live in newness of life." Some would say that the white collar of the cleric's attire is symbolic that our voice is to be the light of God's word. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView: I think I have spectrophobia. I can't sleep because I'm worried they are standing there watching me waiting to touch me. How can I feel at ease about spirits? - Becky _________________________________ Becky: I am sorry to hear that you are suffering from the effects of "spectrophobia," the fear of spirits, ghosts, and even images in mirrors. I hope that you have seen a medical professional about this type of anxiety and obsessive behavior. I know that you understand that your fears are irrational but nonetheless you suffer great anxiety. That certainly disturbs the balance of peace in your mind. Spirits are from another dimension and we as human beings are in this dimension, a three dimensional world that is materially based. What is real to us is this material dimension. Even though there is a dimension in which spirits, ghosts, angels, God, saints, deceased loved ones exist, very rarely do these dimensions meet. There is a great chasm between our existence and the existence of that spiritual dimension. It is even mentioned in the scriptures in the story about the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31). Jesus was telling this parable about the rich man who went to hell and poor Lazarus who went to heaven. In one particular verse, it states: Moreover, between us and you a great chasm is established to prevent anyone from crossing who might wish to go from our side to yours or from your side to ours. There is also a chasm between us and the other side or dimension. Spirits or deceased ancestors are not spying on us but are "on-call" to help us in their own way when we call on them (intercessory prayer of the communion of saints). Your fear of being spied on is something that may have a medical reason and can be treated by various therapies. You should see a doctor right away and explain what your fears and anxieties are. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView: I am a devout Catholic, as is the rest of my family. Religion has been a big deal in our family. I am currently in a deep relationship with a girl who is of the Eastern Orthodox faith and my parents can't accept that part of our relationship, while I want them to. I personally do not see it as a big deal. How do I cope with this? Thank you! - Tomislav ________________________ Tomislav: If you are a devout Catholic, then you would understand that having a "deep relationship" with someone outside of the Catholic faith is a big deal. It is a big deal because it comes down to how you will live your Christian faith and how your children will live the Christian faith. The differences in belief does have an impact on the unity of the family. That is what is upsetting your parents. They want only the best for you. They know that having unity in faith is the key to true love and true unity in family. They probably also fear that you will leave the Catholic faith for the Orthodox faith. There are some major difference between the two faiths that call and confess that Jesus is Lord and Savior. How do you cope? You will have to talk frankly and openly with your girlfriend about issues such as faith and if you should get married, where will you get married and how will you bring up your children. These are questions that your parents already have. At the same time, it is important that your girlfriend gets to know your parents better and the other way around. I bet that if your parents got to know your girlfriend better, they would calm down and see what you love in her. - The Priests at CatholicView Hello: About two months ago I visited a small remote town in the southern region of Jalisco Mexico, called "Alpizahualt." Even though the town itself consists of 25 habitants, I was amazed by their church and there devotion to "Santo nino de Atocha".(The Holy Child of Atocha) However, I was disappointed by the features of the Holy Child. The sculpture was about 14 inches high and was stationed on top of the altar. It had a broken hand, broken nose and the hat was broken as well. Not to mentioned, the color was faded and some of the features were very damage. I was very sad, when I saw the Holy Child in such conditions, that I decided to take action. That is why, I want to donate a Holy Child of Atocha. However, I want to make sure if I need to follow a certain procedure which authorizes the donation of a religious image, such as the authenticity of the image. I am sure I can purchase a religious figure in any downtown alley, but I am not sure if it had the same value and meaning. Therefore, What are the procedures I need to follow? Also, where can I purchase or order a Holy sculpture of the holy child? I hope you can help me. I am in California at the moment, but will be leaving to Mexico before December. Thank you kindly, Saul. __________________________________ Dear Saul: I am so grateful for the show of faith that people have in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! The faith of the people in Mexico has always been a source of strength for me. As a priest of Mexican descent, I have visited my family and relatives in Mexico and I know of the particular devotion concerning the Santo Nino de Atocha, the image of the infant Jesus. The statue that you mentioned in the chapel at the town of Alpizahuatl is a copy of the original small statue of the Santo Nino that is in Plateros-Fresnillo, Zacatecas, Mexico. It is very probable that the statue at Alpizahuatl is a very old and may be at least 400 years old. The people there have a special devotion to Jesus Christ as seen as a child. This is based on the history of the devotion of the Santo Nino.
During the 13th century in Atocha, Spain, the Moors captured the city and placed the Christians under arrest and kept them in prisons without food. It was said that a child would bring food and water as well as other things to the prisoners during the night. As the stories began to be shared about these nightly prison visits of this mysterious child, attention began to turn to the Madonna and Child statue at the main church in Atocha. The statue of the baby Jesus had dirty and worn shoes. When the caretakers of the church changed the little shoes, they noticed that by the next day the new shoes would be dirty and tattered as if they had been used. It was then understood by the Christian prisoners that it was Jesus Himself who visited them and took care of them under the guise of a child. Soon, Atocha was liberated from the control of the Moors and the people gathered to give thanks to Jesus Christ who helped them and gave them hope in the midst of being conquered by the Moors. Christ came as a child to them and they never forgot it to this day. After the Spanish conquest of Mexico during the 17th century, a Spanish general ordered a copy of the image of the Holy Child Jesus of Atocha, Spain, to be brought to Plateros, a silver mining town near Fresnillo, Zacatecas. The miners had a dangerous job of extracting silver from the mines. There were many accidents in the mines that killed some miners. But there was one accident in which the miners were trapped and mysteriously a child appeared to the miners and lead them out to safety through another exit that was unknown to them. It was no surprise to the miners that the child that lead them was Jesus Himself. Soon, a great devotion to Jesus as pictured as a child grew in Fresnillo and Plateros as more testimonies came about a child preventing accidents or leading miners to safety to return to their families. It was then that copies made in the 17th century of the Infant Jesus based on the Child of Atocha in Fresnillo were made for certain churches that had asked for the statues for various reasons, such as the protection of miners or for prayers for people who were suffering from poverty. It is in this context that the statue at the church in Alpizahuatl, Jalisco, was enshrined in the church of that small village. The statue there may be at least 400 years old. The people have a special devotion to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as seen as the Child who has helped them in their needs. That is why the statue cannot be exchanged or repaired since they want that particular statue for what it means for them. It seems that the people there have had a mystical experience of Jesus walking among them as their Savior Child. Jesus has probably appeared to the villagers in their time of need and they have been very grateful ever since. The people of the village and the leaders of the parish church there could have easily repaired the statue that you saw as in disrepair. But they didn't and there is a reason for it. It was that very statue that manifested for them the saving power of our Lord Jesus. That statue is historical and has ties to the original in Plateros. It cannot be replaced by any kind of statue that can be bought, as you say, in an alley. The statue is sacred to them and to all who believe in Jesus. Miracles have been attributed to this particular image of Jesus. You also asked where a statue of the Child Jesus of Atocha can be purchased. You can purchase a copy of the statue at any Catholic religious goods store. Just ask about it and they can have it made if it is not in stock. If you go back to Mexico, you can acquire a statue of the Santo Nino at any religious goods store in the town next to Alpizhuatl called Santa Gertudes. I am sure that would be the ultimate remembrance of your visit to the church and the people! If you do that, please place the Child Jesus image in a proper and prominent place in your home. When you return, I hope you can appreciate the history and the significance of this particular image of Jesus. A new statue of the Santo Nino of Atocha would NOT be accepted by the people there. Instead, may I suggest, that you talk to the church leaders at there and ask what you can do to help the people there. You could offer to pay for the repair of the actual statue, but I suspect that they won't do that. Instead, I am sure that you could raise funds for the maintenance of the church buildings as well as helping those who are in need. You can find out who is in need by talking to the church leaders there. When you return and stand before that very miraculous statue of the Baby Jesus, ask the Lord Jesus to walk with you in your life's journey and ask Him to live in your heart as your Lord and Savior. And when you do, Jesus will touch you with the Holy Spirit in a way that will make your soul soar. May the Lord bless your endeavors for the people of Alpizahuatl with joy and peace. And may their faith make your faith in God and His plan for you even stronger! - The Priests at CatholicView
Father: I struggle with admonishing someone who has said something terrible.. maybe without knowing...maybe with knowing. It will be in the workplace most likely. For example this week, someone said the Lord God's name in vain and I said nothing... I noticed later he would just say the D word, with out using any reference. For me to not say anything is it cowardice? Or should I just try to be an example by what I don't say? I don't say such things (as using God's name in vain), but I feel terrible when I don't say something like..."you shouldn't say that" I also have a terrible time when someone says something about women. They may say something like, "look at her" and I'll say, "yes, she is pretty" I know they meant it as more than, "look at her beauty" as in lustfully...but all I say is, "she's pretty". Can you please help me understand admonishing someone in these circumstances? I always take them to confession, but I'm confused as each week time it happens I'm in confession asking for forgiveness with no idea what to do next time it happens. Thank You and God Bless, Philip ______________________________________ Philip: As a wise person once said to me, "pick your battles with care." That advice is important in your situation. There are times to speak up and there are times to be silent. I take as an example Jesus' actions when He was confronted with lies when He was being condemned before Pilate and the leadership of Israel. He was a silent lamb that was led to the cross for our salvation. When people at your workplace say things that are clearly inappropriate, it may be the wisest thing not to say anything at all. For example, when someone uses inappropriate words, just ignore them. If it really is bothersome, it is better to speak to the person one to one and explain that their salty language concerns you and makes you uncomfortable. But usually some people just use salty language without thinking about it. I usually ignore it when I am confronted with it. As to the perceived "lustful" conversations, you could also ignore it. Don't respond. I find that when people see that you don't respond, they won't do it again in your presence. They tend to be more careful. The problem with confronting people about something like language or comments about a person's perceived beauty is that it can be a cause of great tension, conflict, and negative attitudes, something you don't want associated with you. "Pick your battles with care." Remember, you are not the judge of people's comments here. And when something happens, say a little prayer for that person and continue doing your work. - The Priests at CatholicView
Good evening gentlemen: I just wanted to say how great this website is for deepening ones faith and knowledge of Sacred Scripture. Thank you for all that you do! My question is, how does one live a magnanimous Catholic life everyday? - Collin ____________________________________ Collin: I believe that Jesus said it best in answer to your question on how to live a "magnanimous" Catholic life: Luke 10:25-28 - "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your being, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." Each of us, in our own individual way, and in our own individual talents, are called to love according to our own capabilities. That is how you live a Christian life. Love God and neighbor in YOUR way! - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: A friend recently moved in with her boyfriend. He is Catholic and they both have started going to the parish I belong to. She has joined the RCIA program and has mentioned that she doesn't have a sponsor. I have a feeling she may ask me but I'm not sure if it would be appropriate since I know they are living together. Both have been married before but not in the church. I don't think they intend to get married. What do I do if she asks me to be her sponsor? Please help. - Lydia ____________________________________ Lydia: As a friend and as a Catholic, you must explain to your friend (1) she is living in sin (2) she must be truthful and tell the person in charge of the RCIA program that she is living with her boyfriend (3) her boyfriend is still married in the eyes of the Church to his ex-wife and needs an annulment and possibly she does too should they do decide to marry and 4) do not agree to be a sponsor unless she rectifies her life. Your friend must be honest to the Church and explain her circumstances. She needs to talk to a priest and should do this right away. - The Staff at CatholicView CatholicView Staff: I have a friend who says it is ok to call directly on the dead. I know we pray for intercession to the saints but she means as in using a medium to make contact. This doesn't seem right to me. - Lori ________________________________________ Lori: Many people, especially in situations that are uncomfortable or painful would like to know what lies ahead for them. What they fail to see is that the use of tarot cards, calling on the dead through mediums, fortune tellers, witchcraft, Ouija boards, palm readers, etc. are tools of evil. As Catholic Christians, we consider it sinful to try to foresee the future or to try to control our future by using sorcery, witchcraft, black magic because it violates the first commandment “"I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have any gods before me". Any such activities practiced are wrong and God forbids it. This includes calling on the dead. The bible tells us in Leviticus 20:27 "A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortune-teller shall be put to death by stoning: they have no one but themselves to blame for their death". In Jeremiah 27:9 it reads, “Do not listen to your false prophets, fortune-tellers, interpreters of dreams, mediums, and sorcerers…”In Acts 13: 8; Paul rebukes Simon Magus, a magician, who wanted to buy the powers of the Holy Spirit to make himself more powerful. Your friend must avoid the things that are forbidden to her as a Christian. Please tell her that the Lord will take care of her future. She must depend on Him to supply her needs. To use Tarot Cards or any other means or sources such as fortune telling is wrong. To indulge in such practices would be to associate herself with witchcraft and the occult, and this is an abomination to God. I would advise her to keep away from such evil practices. I am including a link to a page written by Father William Saunders. “The History of Tarot Cards”. Please encourage your friend to read this very informative page. http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/apologetics/ap0109.html. God bless you and help you in your search for truth. – CatholicView Staff
Staff at CatholicView: If my boyfriend and I are in love, and we plan on getting married, is it a sin to have sex before? - Gina ______________________________________________ Gina: I think you know the answer to your question. It is a sin to have sex before marriage. Being in love is no excuse in eyes of God. You must wait until your marriage has taken place. Then you will have taken the blessed and sacred vows of husband and wife. You do not want to defile this precious and loving moment which will last forever. If you feel you cannot wait, then make arrangement right now to be married. Having sex before marriage is just that; sex. Real love is caring enough to wait until your promises have been made to each other and have been blessed before our Lord. Think about this. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I was raised Catholic (baptized/first communion/confirmed) but married out of the Church. I have been married for 28 years and recently returned to the church. My husband is not Catholic and has no desire to ever change that. I go mass every Sunday but do not receive communion but I really want to. Can I receive communion if I was not married in the Church? - Teresa _________________________________ Teresa: Please speak with your parish priest about having your marriage blessed in the Church. This can be done in the rectory without others present if you would like a private blessing. Perhaps your husband will agree to do this. Then you will be able to receive the sacraments of the Church. Let's get this matter resolved so that you can take communion. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I had an affair with a childhood friend of mine last year who is married and I’m so ashamed. The thing is she wants to keep in contact with me but I don’t think its right, so I have been ignoring most of her emails, texts etc. I have asked her what about her husband but she just keeps on trying to contact me. I feel guilty about ignoring her and I have said it's not fair to your husband. What should I do just ignore her? Thank you, Fred ___________________________________ Fred: I am happy to hear that you have moved away from your sinful behavior. And now you must be firm in your resolve to end this affair completely. Please tell this lady that you have asked God and Church to forgive you for this lapse in your faith and you do not want to repeat this adulterous relationship. Do not answer her attempts to text or call you. In time, hopefully she will get the message and repair her marriage.Please pray and ask God to give you the courage to continue being strong in your desire to avoid this situation. May the Lord bless you. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: Can you receive absolution after death? - Michael ____________________________ Michael: Once we die we cannot get absolution. It is too late. Live your life so you are ready to be judged by God. We do not know when we will die. If you sin, get forgiveness from God as soon as you are able to. May the Lord bless you always. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: Can a Catholic starve himself to death or is this considered a mortal sin (suicide)? - Roy _______________________________ Roy: This depends on whether the person freely decides to starve himself in order to die. It can also be that the person is mentally ill. Generally people do not ordinarily starve themselves to death. Remember that our bodies are temples for our souls. We must take good care of ourselves as much as we can. If a person deliberately starves himself in order to die and is in his right mind, then yes, it is a sinful act. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I believe I saw something extraordinary, possibly miraculous involving communion during services, more than once. I tried to talk to different priests but they kind of looked at me funny or just avoid the question. I want to understand this and need someone to talk to. Please advise. Eugene _______________________________
Dear Eugene: CatholicView is not a forum for analyzing happenings such as yours. You do not say what you saw during the communion services. I would suggest you pray and ask the Lord to give you understanding and peace about what you observed during the mass. Know that God is with you and is possibly showing you something He wants you to know. Ask God through prayer what this means. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: Last year, a neighbor asked me to talk to my landlord about a property issue. I was a little reluctant because I am not the owner and didn't want to get involved. He is now angry with me because I didn't. Should I have gotten involved or not? - Myrna _____________________________ Dear Myrna: Sometimes it is hard not to help someone in such a situation. However in this case, you did not have a obligation to approach your landlord. That would have only put you in the middle and could prove detrimental because your landlord might unintentionally give faulty information. Just tell your neighbor that he should have spoken to the landlord directly so he could hear what he had to say firsthand. That way he could decide for himself if the information was useful or not. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: If I have a Catholic funeral and I am cremated, do I have to be buried on consecrated ground or am I allowed to have my ashes spread on the ocean? Thank you for being here-----God Bless!! - Connie ______________________________ Dear Connie: Respectful and final disposition of cremated remains involves either internment or entombment. Burial options include a family grave in a cemetery marked with a traditional memorial stone or an urn garden, which is a special section in a cemetery with small, pre-dug graves for urns. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires. Please visit http://lpwoosterfuneralhome.com/cremation_catholic for more information. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I am Catholic but had been away from the Church for a long time. I have recently gone back. My wife is also Catholic but we were married outside the Church. Three of our four children (1, 5 and 7) have never been baptized. What would be involved in getting us to where we need to be at this stage of our children's lives, as we are looking as starting to attend mass regularly as a family? Matthew ______________________________ Matthew: You do not say whether you were married civilly or not. If so, it is a matter of making an appointment to speak with your parish priest about having your marriage blessed. He will advise you to go to confession as well. Having your marriage blessed can be done privately if that is your wish. Talk to your priest about the baptism of your three children. He will make arrangements about this as well. Since you are still with your wife, all the above things can be taken care of. Do not worry. May the Lord bless you always. - The Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I am dating a 43year old divorced man with 2 children. I am 43 yrs old, never been married and no children. He does not want more children. What are my options as a Christian? Is this acceptable? His finances are ok and he just feels he can't take the responsibility anymore. Please advise. - Sana _________________________________ Sana: I wonder if you have thought this through. There are a few important things you must think about including the matter of an annulment which he will need in order to marry you. If your fiancé has not received one, you would be living in sin should you marry him. Marriage is about procreation. Do you want children of your own? Are you planning to use Natural Family Planning? It is the only method of birth control approved by the Catholic Church. Keep in mind, he is asking you to accept his children but he does not want any with you. Please think carefully before you decide to marry your fiancé. May the Lord give you the clarity to make the right decision. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Hi, I am just beginning the RCIA process. I have been married twice (the first time to a woman who's parents are Catholic, so we were married in the Church) and the second time to a Methodist pastor (a woman). The first marriage ended because of her infidelity. The second ended due to my infidelity. This was three years ago. Since then, through a close friend, I have discovered the Church. I love God... so much...and I seek the full communion of the Church. I hunger for the Eucharist. I read everything I can get my hands on, including much of the Catechism. Through this, I have come to know how terrible my sin has been. My heart is heavy, and I feel so very ashamed. I live alone now, and I remain celibate, as I understand that this is what I need to be. I very much want to understand the fullness and hope of the Eucharist...I have been reading and learning about Jesus for almost three years. Is it even possible for me to be forgiven for these things? And if so, will there ever be a time when I will be able to be in full communion? - Matthew ___________________________________ Matthew: Have you spoken to a priest about your situation? God is a God of second chances. He sees how you are suffering and He wants you back in the fold. It is time for you to sit down with a priest who will talk to you about how you can reconcile yourself to being in full communion with the Church. You will need annulments. He will be able to help you with this. All is not lost. It can be rectified. So take the first step and find out what measures need to be taken. Know that the Lord loves you and wants you to move forward with your faith. Make an appointment to speak to the parish priest. May the Lord grant you the courage to straighten everything out. - The Staff at CatholicView CatholicView: We have a choice between moving home to Michigan without a secure job or staying with (the very well paid job) of active duty military. Is it selfish/a sin to choose to be poor (use government social supports until a job can be found) than to provide for our family (we have 3 small children) with a job that is so demanding? - Jeannine Jeannine: You do not indicate if it is you or your husband who works for the Military. Nevertheless, jobs are very hard to find these days and you have three small children to take care of. Although this job is demanding, you (or your husband) are paid well. As long as it is not dangerous, life threatening or poses something that is at odds with your beliefs, I think you should think of perhaps earning and saving enough money from this job to support yourselves until you get jobs in Michigan. Once you have some savings backup, then you can consider moving elsewhere. Think of your little ones. Social supports may limit the things you children will need, as well for yourselves. Thank God one of you has a job. Please save enough for a few months, then with some money behind you, you will be able to rightfully make a decision. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I was wondering why you don't have any Irish priests on this site? - Dean __________________________________ Dean: CatholicView would very much like to have an Irish priest on CatholicView's "Ask A Priest" category. Let me know if you can find one who will take the job. Thanks! - The Staff of CatholicView Dear CatholicView: For about two years approximately, I have not taken part in the Holy Sacraments (Penitence and Holy Communion). I was told by a priest that I am unable to participate due to the fact that I was married to my wife in another church (Anglican Episcopal Catholic Church) where we were married in the name Holy Trinity. Since then, I feel so empty, I really do need these sacraments. I have asked my wife to marry me again in the Roman Catholic Church but she not up to it. The only reason we married through the other church is because at that time she was pregnant and I needed to do this fast because I was afraid to lose my job (I work at a Catholic University). However, I have always been Catholic. Currently, we have one child. Even though we have our difficulties, we love each other. Is it true that I cannot participate in the body and blond of Christ? Thank you in advance for your answer. - Isaac ________________________________ Isaac: You are legally married but not in the eyes of the Catholic Church. The Church does not recognize the marriage as being "valid" if you marry outside the Catholic Church (another church of a different religion, or any other location).
But the Catholic Church can and will bless the marriage. After the
marriage is blessed, the Catholic Church will see you as married in
the eyes of the Church and God.
CatholicView: After being a candidate and baptized into the Catholic church though the R.C.I.A., am I supposed to get a Baptismal Certificate just for the records ? - Jim _________________________ Dear Jim: Congratulations and welcome to our Church! A Certificate of Baptism will be mailed to you following the baptism. When you receive the certificate, be sure to look it over carefully and contact the Baptism Coordinator promptly if you find any errors. May God be with you as you move forward in your faith. - The Staff of CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I've held a grudge for years, but really had buried it deeply and almost had forgotten about it. Yet it continued to affect me. Through prayer and reflection, I came to see and realize that this grudge was causing me problems, and with the Holy Spirit's help, I forgave the person against whom I held this grudge. I did this in prayer, but did not forgive the person directly. I haven't spoken to her in years. When we forgive, must we always let the person know that we have done so, or is it just as well that the forgiveness is solely between us and God? - Ed __________________________________ Ed: Yours is a very interesting and important question. Sometimes it is hard to admit our grudges toward others. I am assuming that the other person did something that caused you great grief. If you are in any kind of contact with the person you held ill feelings against and you get the opportunity to have contact with them, just smile nicely and move on. Let God handle them. They probably do not even remember the incident but God does. If they want to talk, then take the opportunity to say you forgive them for their past actions. If not, then give a smile. A kindly smile is powerful and can carry a special weight of forgiveness in itself. You have asked the Lord to remove those bad feelings you lived with and now you must move on without the human guilt you previously felt. Do not let Satan hold this over you. Keep moving forward in your faith. You have made your peace. - Staff at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: Are those over 70 years of age excused from all Mass obligations? - Joseph Wood __________________________
Joseph: The Catechism of the
Catholic Church and the Canon Law states that the Holy Mass is the
foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice. For this
reason, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Eucharist on
days of obligation, unless excused for a serious reason (for
example, illness, the care of infants) or dispensed by their own
pastor. Those who deliberately fail in this obligation commit a
grave sin. [Canon Law # 1245; C.C.C. # 21810. If you believe that
you have a valid reason for not attending Holy Mass, such as:
1. Serious illness, If you have any of the above, see your priest for more information or to arrange for someone to visit at your home. Visit this site for more
information: http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu140.htm. Hope
this helps. -
CatholicView: I've been going to a Catholic Church for two years. But I am not officially a Catholic. I cannot remember all my sins. Will I still be forgiven? - Melissa __________________________________ Dear Melissa: Thank you for writing to CatholicView. We would like to invite you to join us in our faith. Why not make an appointment with your parish priest and talk to him about becoming a full member of the Church? You will need to attend RCIA which is the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults . Use this link to find out more. I am assuming that you know confession is a sacrament for only baptized Catholics. But you can pray and ask God to forgive you of your sins. He will forgive you if you are contrite and sorry. But most importantly you must promise to avoid those sins in the future. God loves you and will forgive you. Please talk with a priest in person and get started. He will listen, advise and welcome you to the Church where once you are a member you will be able to avail yourself of all the sacraments, including the sacrament of confession. May the Lord bless you. - The Staff at CatholicView
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