Father Bill: I am an organ donor. I am also thinking about donating my body to science. I understand that after they are done with the body it is cremated and returned to the family. Is this allowed by the Catholic Church? Thank you. - Mary ________________________________ Dear Mary: I’m so happy to hear that you have made provisions to be an organ donor and that you are considering donating your body to science. This is not something that everyone is comfortable doing, and I can understand that. However, it’s good that there are people like you who are willing to consider it. The answer to your question is stated with uncharacteristic simplicity in the Catechism of the Catholic Church: §2310: Autopsies can be morally permitted for legal inquests or scientific research. The free gift of organs after death is legitimate and can be meritorious. The Church permits cremation, provided that it does not demonstrate a denial of faith in the resurrection of the body. So the answer to your question is: Yes, what you propose is allowed by the Catholic Church. While decisions like these are ultimately up to you, it does help if your loved ones are aware of your wishes and are supportive. You most likely already know this and have kept them informed. No doubt you also have included—or will include—your wishes in your will. As far as donating your body for scientific research is concerned, it sometimes happens that there is a surplus of cadavers, so it’s possible that your body wouldn’t be needed. With that in mind, it’s a good idea to have made alternate provisions for the reverent disposal of your remains. Perhaps this is included in the paperwork you will have to deal with. Thank you for your question, and thank your for your generosity. May God bless you. - Father Bill
Father Bill: My 8-year-old, who made her first communion this past spring, recently told me, in tears, that she is worried heaven doesn't exist, and that God doesn't exist. I pray every night with all four of my children, and we've been meditating on the rosary a decade at a time each night. When I talk to her about Jesus' words, the experiences in the Bible and the stories of so many people who have seen and felt God, she says she wonders if they are all making it up. She asks why in her eight years she has never felt, seen or heard God. She is quite distressed. I told her God wants us to love him freely and that questions are good. But I have to say I am at a bit of an end. What might I say, show or read to her to help her doubt and give her hope? Thank you. - Lucy _______________________________ Dear Lucy: Those are some pretty tough questions for a little one to be troubled with. I can understand how your heart must go out to her as you seek ways of helping her know the loving embrace of God. In trying to help you help her my first instinct is to wonder why she is asking those questions. They seem almost too much for an eight year-old to come up with on her own, without some kind of outside input. Did something get misunderstood while she was being prepared for First Communion and first confession? Does she have some friends or classmates who might be making fun of her beliefs? Did a teacher or other adult in authority say something inadvertently or deliberately to shake her child-like faith? Did she recently learn that Santa Claus is a fictitious character? If you haven’t explored these kinds of questions, I would certainly suggest that you give it a try. Getting to the heart of her doubts would be a good step toward helping her know God better. Whether your child’s questions have been triggered by some outside
influence, or whether they are coming from her own thoughtful
deliberations about matters eternal, I think it will be important to
try to enter a gentle dialogue with her. You indicate that you
already have done that, so now it might be wise to seek the counsel
of a priest or religion teacher who is especially good with
children. Since her questions are more like what a teen or adult
might ask, I’m inclined to think that child-oriented books and
stories about God and heaven might not be enough to give her the
reassurance she’s seeking.
If she’s a
particularly sensitive child with a real concern for others,
it might help to have you and your daughter volunteer your time and
talent to a local soup kitchen or something that would take her out
of her negative thinking. Even volunteering doing something with
animals would be nice too, which would probably be more age
appropriate in mentoring compassion! Learning to reach out to God
in the poor and the needy is a way of knowing God, even when he
seems far away. Mother Theresa of Calcutta did that. Being Christ to
others may, in fact, be the best way to feel the presence of God in
our own lives.
Father Bill: I want to ask why is it so important that the Roman Catholic Church can claim a direct lineage from the early church. Just because it is original does not mean it is best or right (not saying its not). Martin Luther started the reformation because the church was teaching about indulgences which could be bought. Not saying that the church is wrong currently, but this an example that because the church consists of men, and men make mistakes, even the pope. Isn't it better to have a Godly church rather than an original church, if the original church does not reflect God? (Again not saying it does not reflect God currently). Sorry for the question being so long, appreciate you answering! - Daniel _____________________________________ Dear Daniel, You make a very good point: the claims that a church (or person, or business) makes do not necessarily affect the way that church (or person, or business) actually operates—even if the claims are true. Also it’s obvious that some claims are more relevant and substantive than others. For example, in the world of medicine, it’s far more important that the Salk vaccine actually prevents polio, which it claims to do, than that it was the first vaccine to do so—which it can also claim. However, when it comes to the claims of churches, the matter is a bit more complicated. One of the complications is actually in your question: What is meant by “Godly”? I may be wrong, but I’m going to assume that “Godly” is essentially synonymous with “holy”. There is also a some ambiguity with the word “original”. It sometimes has the meaning of “the first”—followed by many copies. In fact, when I’m making copies on the copy machine, I’m always careful to pencil “original” on the back of, well, the original. I’ve learned that it often doesn’t work well to make copies of the copies. “Original” can also have the meaning of “authentic” or “real”, as compared to pretenders, clones or rip-offs. Thus you want an original copy of Windows 7, rather than a pirated copy; an original Windows 7 might have some problems, but it’s very likely that a pirated copy will have many more. All things considered, I think that most of us believe that being original does have a certain value. Obviously, when it comes to churches, Godliness or holiness has considerable importance too. Daniel, I’m going to do a turnabout and ask a question of you and our other readers. Should we not want a Church that is both original and Godly? Surely these important characteristics of a Church are not—and cannot be—mutually exclusive. In fact, it seems to me, a Church that is both original and Godly is exactly what Jesus wants, so that his work can continue until the end of time. I really think that the heart of your question revolves around the word “Godly”, and you rightly point out that there have been times in the history of the Catholic Church when some of its members have significantly digressed from Godliness. What it really comes down to is this: Churches are not Godly because all of the people in them are holy; no Church could possibly make that claim. The Church is holy because Christ has made her so. The scriptural images of the Church as the Bride of Christ—and in St. Paul, the Body of Christ—are what probably most explicitly express what is meant by this. It’s not that the human leadership and all the other members of the Church are Godly. It’s that the Church as a community—embraced by the love of Jesus and doing his work—is Godly. Throughout history the Catholic Church and other Christian Churches have borne their fair share of sin and scandal within them. This goes right back to the original Christians, the first disciples of Jesus. Some of them—including Peter himself—were scandalously sinful. Jesus embraced this rather motley group of followers and made of them a Godly Church, not by their own merits but by the power of his death and resurrection. And that’s how still today the Church is Godly, the sinless Bride of Christ made up of fallible, sinful humans. God is amazing! - Father Bill
Father Kevin: I am struggling to understand certain things in the Bible. Can you explain the meaning of "we are made in God's image"?" - Saul
________________________________ HI Saul, from later winter in Australia: Yes, we are all made in God’s image according to Genesis and it is a profoundly beautiful reminder of human dignity. All creation of course echoes something of God’s grace and goodness. As people we are made in God’s image in a very special respect in that like God we can Know and Love. We have the gift of freedom and so can make choices, something other creatures are not able to do. We do not operate on blind instinct, but on the basis of understanding, wisdom and love. In this we are created in God’s own image. If only we would recognise this and act on it, our world would be in much better shape all round. So much of humanity settles for acting on impulse, instinct, anger and fear, pleasure and pain, and in this regard, our actions are no different from the animals. Still we can do better and that is our great grace and opportunity. All good wishes. - Father Kevin
Father Kevin: I wonder how to really change my life? I committed horrible sins all my life and last year went to general confession, but it didn't work. I still drink and sin in many other ways. Every now and then I try to convert, but it doesn't work! I'm desperate. - Hannah ________________________________ Dear Hannah, Conversion for most of us is a constant and lifelong process. Escaping from habits of sin and selfishness is a lifetime project as well. God’s mercy is without conditions, so we can always trust in God’s welcome and patience. We are really our own worst enemies as we find it so hard to forgive ourselves, so humiliating do our own sins seem to us because we know them from the inside in a way no one else does. If you look at Jesus and his behaviour in the gospels, He gives a hard time to people who refuse to look at their lives. He would absolutely love someone like you who is struggling to grow in love and finding more failure than success. He knows your good intent. He knows your heart and the pain of your struggle. I’m not saying that need to go easy on ourselves so much as we need to know that all our struggle is carried out in the presence of a love who holds us and waits ever so patiently for our homecoming. Perhaps allow Jesus to love you just as you are, struggles, failures and all, and allow that love to call you gently forward. Allow yourself to become a bit less desperate and a little more trusting and hopeful, so that when you fail, you will know that there is a hand reaching out for you and inviting you to try again. None of your sins are beyond the reach of God’s mercy, so I hope you can let that mercy reach deep into your heart. I will hold you in my heart and prayers as your journey continues. - Father Kevin Father Kevin: How does an ex-Mormon turned pagan turn over a new leaf and convert to Catholicism? Or would your faith even want me? - Trent ________________________________ Hi Trent: Someone once described the Catholic Church as “Here comes everyone!” IN that case you will be very welcome, whatever your story and its wounds. How to turn over a new leaf? I’d suggest you get in touch with a local Catholic parish, find a priest or parishioner who is reasonably user-friendly and a good listener and start your conversation from there. I am in Sydney but would be happy to correspond with you if you would like to do that, however a face-to-face conversation would probably be preferable. There is a wonderful program of Initiation for Adults wishing to explore the possibility of becoming Catholic and you might like to ask about that. It is called the “Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. It is a most liberating and respectful program when run well. The Catholic Church would readily find a home for you and any other searching heart. Every blessing. - Father Kevin
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"A
Catholic lady had a civil wedding and a civil annulment. Her Parish
Catholic Staff: I have met a lady online who interests me. She and I are Catholic and she indicated that she has had a previous civil wedding and then a civil annulment (which I am not exactly sure what that means). She indicated that her Parish Priest and a Catholic lawyer, both told her that since it was a civil marriage and civil annulment, that she does NOT have to seek a Catholic annulment in order to be married in the Catholic Church. My understanding is that the Catholic Church does "recognize" a civil marriage, and that she would have to seek a Catholic annulment in order to be married in the Catholic Church. She and I want to do the right thing, but we are confused based upon seemingly opposite answers. Please advise. Thanks for your time.- Don ________________________________ Don: Thank you for writing to us. I pray that you find the love and support that you seek in life. You are incorrect in saying that the Church "recognizes" a civil marriage between a Catholic and another person. A Catholic must be married with the sacrament of matrimony within the Church for the Church to recognize that marriage as a sacramental marriage. The Church does recognize and accept marriages between non-Catholics as sacramental and binding according to natural law. So, your Catholic lady friend is free to marry in the Church if she has never been married in the Church before, even though she has been in a civil marriage without the Church's involvement. In this instance, your Catholic lady friend would petition the Church to not accept her first civil marriage as sacramental and valid through the LACK OF FORM process, a very simple procedure of proving that her marriage never took place in the Church. God bless and may God bless you with a life partner through the sacrament of matrimony. Many blessings. - The Priests at CatholicView
Catholic Staff: I want to become Catholic, but I am very paranoid about people (Schizophrenia). I believe everything the Church teaches, but I'm afraid of dying w/out Baptism. Am I covered under "Baptism of Desire"? I'm not lazy, I want to be a member, but I'm afraid of people. Thank you. - Aaron ________________________________ Dear Aaron: Each of us have crosses to bear that form us into the person that God wants us to be. Your struggles with schizophrenia will be blessed and you will find peace by living each day to the fullest. I am happy to know that you find solace and strength within the Catholic Church. God loves you as you are and wants you to use all the tools of life to find peace of heart and mind. Please talk to your parish priest about your situation. Maybe he can set up a separate and individual baptism after you finish a course of studies so that you can fully understand the faith of Jesus Christ in the Catholic Church. And to help the conversation with your parish priest, please bring this question and answer and let him read it. This will begin the conversation about baptism and the acceptance of you in the Church through the Rites of Christian Initiation, even if these rites (Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Eucharist) must be done privately due to your fear of people and crowds. May the Lord bless you and guide you and fill you with His peace. You are stronger than you think. The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: If a woman needs a hysterectomy to treat cervical cancer and she is found to be pregnant, can she go ahead with the surgery or would the hysterectomy be considered an abortion because the baby would die during the procedure? - Margaret ________________________________ Margaret: This is moral and theological dilemma that has been discussed ever since medical procedures were able to use surgery to heal the human body. Cervical cancer has stages of severity and usually the way to heal cervical cancer is through surgery whether it be cutting away the cancer from a localized area to a full hysterectomy. In this situation, when a pregnant woman has been diagnosed with cervical cancer and the recommendation is a full hysterectomy to stop the spread of cancer, the doctor would do what is best for both the life of the woman and the life of the unborn child. Usually, the doctor would wait to do surgery until the pregnancy is brought to term. But if the cancer has reached a stage that it would endanger the lives of the woman and her unborn child, a decision must be made to rid the body of cancer. If that means that a hysterectomy must be done immediately, then such a procedure would be morally acceptable even though the secondary effect of the surgery may be the death of the unborn child. The primary effect of the surgery must be the removal of the cancer, not the life of the unborn child. This principle is called "principle of double-effect." There is an explanation of this moral decision making process here: http://www.saintmarys.edu/~incandel/doubleeffect.html (also for a more secular explanation, here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Principle_of_double_effect ). Life is not always so black and white. Life is mostly gray meaning that certain life situations require prayer and thought before an action or decision is made. That's why we must depend on the guidance and inspiration of the Holy Spirit always in everything we say and do. Prayer is always required before any decision concerning the life of any human being can be made. Lord Jesus, have mercy on us all. May the Lord bless and take care of you always. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I am to marry next March for the first time at age 51 and have several medical reasons that advise against pregnancy. If by some miracle I did become pregnant I would likely be bedridden unable to work - we could not afford house payments on my man's salary alone. I am going through change of life too with cycles erratic - nature would indicate too late in life to start childrearing, yet we have met - can we contracept or must we wait until I no longer cycle maybe another 5 years!? - Deb ________________________________ Deb: What is needed is trust in God's plan for each of us. That's what FAITH is all about, the reaching out into the future with trust that God will always provide. Even though you may be 51 years of age, if God wants a life of a child to come into the world through you, then trust. That's one aspect of a sacramental marriage: the bearing of children. At the same time, one must be cognizant of the health of the mother and the dangers inherent in having a pregnancy for a woman over 50 years of age. One must follow your doctor's advice and direction in this matter. The moral choice is life. But you must be healthy and strong to have a child. If you body cannot do it, then follow your doctor's advice. That is the moral thing to do. Your life is paramount. Don't do anything that would endanger your health and your marriage. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I have some crucifixes possessed by a relative who is now deceased. Would it be proper to offer them to one of his previous Catholic churches or associated religious schools for display? I would be happy to pay for a small plaque to include, with wording "in memory of..." Thank you so much for your answer and this website in advance! As a non-Catholic I appreciate it. - Joan ________________________________ Dear Joan: Thank you so much for offering the crucifixes to your local institutions. Please do as you describe! That would be a fitting memorial for your deceased relative who now lives forever in the presence of God! - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: I came across a website by name of Most Holy Family Monastery that says it's Catholic but does not believe in the Papacy. They sound very traditional and knowledgeable. Is it wrong to visit/view the site? - Steve ________________________________ Dear Steve: The web site that you describe (http://www.mostholyfamilymonastery.com/) is not associated with the Roman Catholic Church. It is a fundamentalist and hateful web site that has nothing to do with the apostolic and Catholic faith passed down to us through the two millennia of the Church's existence for the greater glory of God and for the mission of salvation. I personally find this web site to be distasteful and far from the truth we know in Jesus Christ. As for your question, "Is it wrong to visit/view the site?" As long as you recognize the Roman Catholic Church as the true Church, then there is no sin in reading and viewing this web site. The Church encourages the study of everything to strengthen our own faith! - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: Our dear, misguided priest gives scandalously wrong and immodest homilies almost every week. Most of us try NOT to hear him. Are we allowed to read a religious book during homilies, so as to avoid sinning in anger and scandal? - Jean ________________________________ Dear Jean: I am saddened to hear that you are not being spiritually fed by your parish priest during his homilies. You do not mention examples of what is "scandalously wrong and immodest." If many parishioners agree with your viewpoint, then it is time to write to the bishop of your diocese and explain in your communication with your bishop exactly what you mean by "scandalously wrong and immodest homilies." You and others who agree with you have the moral responsibility to report this to the bishop. As for what to do during Mass when this priest preaches, you may read a spiritual book "so as to avoid sinning and scandal." I pray that you act now. The bishop of your diocese doesn't know what his priests are preaching unless someone tells him. Bishops do receive complaints (and once in a while, a compliment) about priests and deacons and they do act on those complaints. They will investigate credible complaints. To make a complaint that is credible, several people must complain about the same thing. Please, don't sit this out. The spiritual welfare of your fellow believers is at stake. Blessings always. - The Priests at CatholicView
Dear CatholicView: I currently teach NFP. I have an interview for a Maternity RN position. The nurses give discharge instructions that list ways of avoiding pregnancy including artificial and natural means. If it would be a sin to work here, I will cancel the interview. - Brandi: ________________________________ Brandi: As a health practitioner and as a person dedicated to the health education of all patients entrusted to your care, it is difficult at times to stay true to your spiritual, religious, and moral principles in this very pluralistic society of the USA. But what is required is that YOU stay true to your moral principles, and what others do depend on their own informed and educated consciences. As a health educator, and by law, you are required to present all options to your patients concerning their health and their decisions for the future. There is nothing immoral about this "presenting of options." You are morally required to do so. Not everyone subscribes to our Christian teachings passed down through the ages. So, one cannot force something on someone that they are not willing to accept. And that is what education is all about. I make moral decisions because I know all the options, and I know their consequences. In specific Catholic situations, you can present the natural planning methods as the best option for family planning. In secular situations as in your hospital, you can present the natural family planning option and other options as well. You can even say that you prefer the natural family planning methods because they conform to your moral and religious principles, and there are health benefits in keeping natural as versus taking extra hormones to disrupt the body's rhythms. But for someone to make an informed and moral decision, they must also know the other options. That's why I hope you take the offer to serve as a maternity registered nurse at your hospital. You would have the opportunity to educate and even subtly guide your patients who trust in your expertise. Sometimes, the Church must also be open to extraordinary situations that individual cases present, such as the use of condoms to stop the spread of disease, like AIDS. See this article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/nov/21/pope-benedict-edges-away-ban-condoms So, in life situations, not everything is black and white in our response in spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those who may not share our faith. This new job is a great opportunity to offer counsel and direction to those new mothers! I hope you take it and I hope they give it to you! You have a wonderful and opportunity-laden vocation as a nurse. You are certainly loved by God Who watches over you always. Thank you for writing to us. - The Priests at CatholicView
CatholicView Staff: Should I have my wedding rings blessed again? I took them off a while ago after my husband confessed he had been supporting and living with a prostitute for almost a year. We are working through this, but the rings feel very empty like something is missing. Thank you. - Susie ________________________________ Susie: I am so sorry that you have faced such trauma with your husband. I believe you are a strong person who wants to save your marriage. Certainly, if you feel having your wedding rings blessed with a prayer will make you feel better and herald a fresh start, by all means have them re-blessed. This will uplift your spirits and give you the strength to move forward with your husband. But keep in mind that rings are only a symbol of your love for your husband. God asks that we bring all our cares to Him. Please pray to Him, asking Him to give you courage to work through these past setbacks. The good thing is your husband has shown he does value your marriage by confessing his past actions so this is a positive step toward in mending your lives. Hopefully this will be the beginning of a new, vital and stronger union. You must now look to the future, with God's help. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Twenty-one years ago, I was involved in an illicit affair, became pregnant, and had an abortion. I have repented of this but it still haunts me. Has God forgiven me? - Nancy ________________________________ Nancy: I am sorry that you are suffering from your actions. You know, our God gives us chances to redeem ourselves, no matter what or how great the sin is, IF we are truly repentant. I want you to pray right now and ask God for His forgiveness for your sinful action. Be contrite, promising to stay on the path God has designed for you. Go to church and find the peace God is willing to give to you. He stands waiting. Always remember that His forgiveness is absolute and freeing. Take it and move forward in Jesus Christ. God bless you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: At a young age I was married because I was pregnant. The Catholic church would not marry us due to restrictions. We married in another religion. Years later we were divorced, only to come together a few years later. By living as man and wife, the State grandfathered us as common-law marriage. Do we need to remarry again? Or can we renew our vows? - Teri ________________________________ Teri: You can be reconciled in the Catholic Church. You will need to speak with a priest to untangle your multifold situation such as the restrictions you mention in your letter to us. Please make an appointment to discuss these issues. May the Lord give you the courage to get all things straightened out. We wait to welcome you home again! - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: The Nicene Creed reads in part '..and on the third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures...' . What Scriptures are they referring to? -Derrick ________________________________ Dear Derrick: Thank you for your question. I believe the Scripture you are referring to is taken from 1 Corinthians 15:4 which reads: "....He rose again on the third day, according to the scriptures...." - This particular version was taken from the Old Testament of the Catholic Douay-Rheims 1899. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff " CatholicView Staff: Why do Catholics say that Jesus was born of a 'virgin' fulfilling a prophecy, when there is no prophecy of a virgin giving birth in the Old Testament Hebrew Bible?- Saul ________________________________ Saul: You will find this prophecy in the Old Testament of the Catholic Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition version or any Catholic Bible in Isaiah 7:14 which reads: "Therefore the Lord Himself shall give you a sign. Behold a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and his name shall be called Emmanuel." In the Jewish bible it refers to Mary as a maiden which means virgin or pure. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: When I was young I blasphemed against the Holy Spirit more than once knowing that it is an Unforgivable Sin. I have confessed this Sin, but still cannot get out of my mind that there will be no forgiveness in this world nor the next. Am I truly lost? - Rafael ________________________________ Rafael: You are referring to Matthew 12:31 that reads: "Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is the unforgivable sin." Here is what Father Amaro Saumell writes about blasphemy: "The "unforgivable sin" makes a lot of sense when you think about it. That sin is despair. We use the term "desperate" rather casually these days. But the full impact is that the person by choice sees no hope and closes himself or herself to the possibility, thus closes off God. You see, God doesn't force Himself on anyone. Obviously, you are not guilty of that particular sin. You somehow left the door open to God and have returned. What's more is that you returned at a time in which the Church is experiencing turmoil. Obviously, you believe Jesus as Lord when He says "I will be with you until the ends of the earth. There's no lack of hope or foundation despair in you. I'd say you've left yourself open for the Holy Spirit's presence. That was your choice and God bless you for it." - Father Amaro God knows you are sorry. Through your faith and your desire to be reconciled into God's loving embrace, it is time to let go of the past and take the forgiving grace of our Lord who died for you, thus erasing all the sins of the past. You are sorry and repentant, and that is all God asks. Those who turn their backs on the Lord and go their own way, never asking for forgiveness are the ones that forfeit eternal life. As long as a person lives, there will always be hope of gaining heaven. Those who move away and never come back to God in sorrow are the ones who will be doomed forever. Do not let Satan keep you in despair any longer. Go in peace, moving in faith, knowing that you are loved and one day will be accepted into God's kingdom. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView: My question where do I go to confess if I am not Catholic? I did something in the past that isn't good in God's eyes. I gave my soul to the devil and I've been mean thinking, negative, and I want to be my old self. Can you please help me? - Lupe ________________________________ Dear Lupe: By writing this letter, you are taking the first step back to Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, unless you are Catholic, you cannot avail yourself of the Sacrament of Confession. This you are already aware of. Have you tried getting on your knees and praying to God to ask for forgiveness? God is bigger that the devil. The devil cannot touch you if God has forgiven you, because then your soul belongs to God. He stands waiting for you to come and tell Him you are sorry for what you did if you promise to never repeat the sins you committed. If you truly mean it, open your heart and receive His gift of soul cleansing and purification. You will feel His power descend and know that whatever you did has been erased forever. But you must promise never to repeat these sins. Will you pray? Spend time with the Lord, knowing that He listens, knowing that He loves you, and that you come in sorrow for what you have done. Keep praying every chance you get. May the Lord look into your heart and see that you want to move closer to Him to experience the grace He will give to you. You are going to be okay. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship for almost 11 months now. We've never even gotten into a fight! (haha) But, that's alright. We're very good communicators with each other. He planned on moving down to where I live with a friend of his in September, because he knows that I will not live with him before marriage. He's very wonderful and respectful. However, he and his friend have hit a financial snag, and it looks like he won't be moving down so soon. It's sad because we've been apart our whole relationship, and that can't be good for too long. I will be graduating from college soon and I'll need to move out and find a new place. None of us three are rich. Quite poor, actually. The thing is, I'm looking at places to move to and I realize I can't live on my own. I cannot afford it on my own. So, the thought has crossed my mind, it would be much easier if the three of us rented a place together. I understand that it is a sin to live with one's love before marriage. But, is it a sin if I live with him and another person and we each have our own rooms and I still remain a virgin? I am so desperate on my financial matters it just seems the best option for me. Can I do this and still be alright in the eyes of God? - Kiara ________________________________ Kiara: We are taught that we must avoid the occasion of sin. It would be wrong to put yourself in the position of sin action. From what you write, a long distance relationship is not a real relationship because you can only see what your boyfriend wants you to see and the same goes for you. Allow yourself to get to know this person before committing yourself in this way. Learn about his religious values, his goals, about his family, and all the things that add up to who he is. Let your boyfriend and his friend find their own place. To rent a place with two virtual strangers is not sensible nor is it Godly. To move and live within one house can turn into a mortal sin. The proximity can put your soul into great jeopardy. Avoid this. May the Lord give you the wisdom to see these pitfalls. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My wife and I are Catholic and we would like to have our dear Christian friends, be godparents to our son. Is this allowed in the Catholic Church? Art ________________________________ Dear Art: One correction. Catholics are Christians too. I presume you mean your friends are Protestant Christians as we are Catholic Christians. The word Christian means that a person is a follower of Jesus Christ.
Often parents have good non-Catholic friends that they feel would be excellent Godparents. However, the Catholic Church remains firm in that at least one of your chosen godparents must be a fully initiated Catholic and has received the sacraments of Baptism, Eucharist, and Confirmation. Only one godparent is required, but two are preferred. If the spouse of the Catholic Godparent is not Catholic but is Christian, that person can serve as the official witness at your baby's baptism. So while the Christian witness will set a good example, it will be the duty of the Catholic godparent to share specifics of the Catholic faith with the child as it grows, and taking over its religious education should something happen to the parents and they are unable to do so. Godparents must be at least 16 years old. This is fully in line with canon law (see #874).
Please choose at least one or two active Catholics to be the Godparent(s) of your son. Your non-Catholics friends can be invited at the altar to stand and serve as witnesses for the baptism of your son. This too, is an honor that will be very special and long remembered. Congratulations on your beautiful new baby! May God bless you always! - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My wife and I are Catholics, married 11 years now. Over the last couple of years she is dressing more and more immodest- especially in public. I request that she wear something more modest and less revealing but she ignores my requests. I feel she is becoming an object of sin for many men now. - Ryan ________________________________ Dear Ryan: Have you tried to seek counseling for yourself and your wife? It could be that your wife wants your attention. This does not mean that she doesn't love you. I suggest you talk to your priest and get his opinion on this matter. There you will be able to discuss the changes your wife is undergoing, bring clarity to this situation and receive a fresh and knowledgeable opinion. In the meantime, pray about this, and give your wife as much loving time as you can. Perhaps you can get away together, which will bring newness to your marriage. May the Lord bless you for wanting to make things right in this union. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have been married almost 48 years and my husband's sex drive is still too strong. Consequently I feel I'm being sexually harassed almost constantly which turns me off to sex. He doesn't care if I want it or not; he has to have it. Is it my obligation to have sex? ________________________________ Martina: In your case, you need to have a sit down talk with your husband about this matter. It is time to discuss the present problem you face. A marriage is a two fold agreement. You need to understand his needs but at the same time, he must understand yours. You will both need to meet somewhere in the middle. He must respect your wishes as you must respect his. This is what marriage is all about; give and take. If he makes demands that you feel is excessive, perhaps you and your husband need to see a priest or marriage counselor who can recommend how to make this sexual issue work effectively to benefit each of you. May God bring you peace. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My husband lost his job over a year ago. We lost everything and were forced to move. We decided to move to Florida for many reasons. We wanted to create a new life, hide the loss from our two great children, and not face our reality in front of friends and family. I took care of selling our possessions, finding a new place (to rent) and set up home. I found a job and started our new life. All seemed well. My husband never found a job and sometimes didn't even look. He would not take restaurant jobs because he in his own words thought he was to good for them. He became depressed and an alcoholic and hasn't left the house for months. I got him to a mental health clinic and an organization to help pay the bills. He never went back after the first visit. I lost my job and we have run out of money. We have no way to stay in our current townhouse and he still will not go to look for employment other than things posted on the computer in his field. He finally agreed to quit drinking and has begun to suffer the physical effects. His anger has diminished but he has no drive or fight to save his family. My family has offered to buy our house back that we lost to the bank but he refuses to go. It has been horrible on the kids. I can return them to their old school, their cousins and the familial support we need right now. But he refuses to go. And refuses to get any job to support his family and have them stay in Florida. I feel I need to do what is right for my children. I have supported him in every way so far. He shows no motivation, no drive, no pleading! I know if I leave, I leave my marriage and it is over. He will never join us. But I feel if I stay, it is an unstable environment for my kids and with no certain future if he has no drive to get any job to help support his family. I am Catholic. I hate to give up. But my therapists say go. My family wants me back and can help me provide a stable environment. He seems unwilling to change. Any advice? - Shannon ________________________________ Dear Shannon: It is a blow when the stability of a home is taken away and the loss of jobs adds to family worry. I am so sorry that your husband is not willing to set self aside to help his wife and children in this time of need. But you were strong enough to move on and try to carry the burden of supporting the family alone since your husband cannot see beyond his own problems at this time. To take a job less than what he is qualified for is not shameful; it shows strength of manly character and the mark of a loving husband and father. You have been carrying this burden by yourself too long and it has taken its toll. But God sees and knows your heart and the lengths you have gone to save your marriage and protect your family. But now, it may be time to move on. It will do no good to watch your husband destroy not only his marriage but the lives of his wife and children. And also himself. Please pray for your husband. It is possible that he cannot face these pressing issues. Tell him why you must leave. Tell him your door will be open if he can get the help he needs and changes his outlook. Give him hope but right now you must think of your children's needs. Be strong. But you must make sure that your husband is emotionally stable enough to be left alone on his own. Only you can know this. Do not forget to pray
and ask God to show you what you must do.
God will give you the courage to move forward. May the
Lord be with you as you decide on the best course of action you must
take.
CatholicView Staff: I really enjoyed my childhood, especially when my grandparents were alive. Can I relive my life (mainly my childhood) over and over again in heaven? - Mike ________________________________ Dear Mike: With God all things are possible. The bible does not specifically say anything concerning our childhoods but He promises to give us joy and happiness which can mean all the good things we loved as children. In a world where things are changing rapidly and many times not for the betterment, we sometimes want the peace that childhood days held for us. The beauty, peace and love we will find in heaven will be manifold. We will be seeing our Lord Jesus Christ and God, our heavenly Father, looking at us with love that transcends the love we experience here. And your grandparents will be there with you and you will know them as they will know you. The splendor and the joy that God promises will last forever. We cannot explain the happiness of heaven, but we know it is going to be a place where pain, disappointment, ill health and suffering will exist no more. Be at peace, knowing that God has many eternal plans for all who love Him. -CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have a question ask about towel that father used after giving communion. Can people keep the towel in their house for prayer? - BT ________________________________ Dear Bt: Certainly you can keep the towel if it was given to you as a gift. However, please remember that the towel has nothing to do with the prayer you pray to God. If it makes you feel more religious then by all means use it. But, keep in mind that it is you who makes the connection with our Lord through your obedience and prayers to Him. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am a devoted Catholic and I love God above everything. I am now in a relationship with a man who has lots of problems in his life and a gambling problem as well. I am trying to help him because I love him a lot. How can I tell if the Lord wanted me on this guy's path? Thank you - Jocelyne ________________________________ Jocelyne: I am sorry to hear that your boyfriend is burdened with problems as well as gambling issues. These are matters that he must deal with before committing himself to a relationship which might lead to marriage. Although it is admirable to want to help someone in need, please take a long look at what may become troublesome in the future. Have you considered the consequences of this relationship? You say you are in love with your boyfriend. If you marry him, have children with him, it is possible that you may find out the money you need for the children such as food, clothing, and medical care would be gambled away? God gave us all free will to choose or not to choose. This is you life, one that you must choose knowing there may be a very rocky road ahead unless you get both get professional help before or if you plan to marry him. Please be aware of this. And pray, asking the Lord to show you what He wants you to do. Remember there is nothing wrong in helping someone, but unless some change takes place with his problems and with his gambling, I would look elsewhere for permanence. May the Lord give you the insight, strength and courage to see your options. God bless you always. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Is having sexual contact without having sexual intercourse before marriage wrong? - Rana ________________________________ Rana: Thank you for your question. Any sexual activity which can lead to intercourse is wrong and the Church forbids it because such actions opens the door to actual mortal sin. The Church teaches us all to avoid the occasion of sin, meaning avoiding temptation which leads to sexual behavior. Hope this helps you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: I was raised Catholic all my life, then went through 2 divorces (husbands filed) in that time I accepted Jesus as my Savior, left Catholic church, remarried to a godly man, attend a Pentecostal Church. Lately, my sister and I have been attending daily mass and I have been receiving Holy Communion. My question is two fold. I've been praying about returning to the Catholic church. I know I need to talk to a priest, but would I be allowed to participate and get involved actively to serve the Body of Christ in whatever the Lord leads me to do, or would there be stipulations because of my marriage history and am I allowed to receive Holy Communion? I love the Lord and serve Him daily. - Judith ________________________________ Judith: Your question is two fold. First, you cannot take communion within the Catholic Church in your present state until you re-unite to the Church. And you must make an appointment with a priest to discuss annulments for your previous marriages, as well as discuss the possibility of returning back to the Church. Once these matters are resolved, we will welcome you back home. Ministers of the Eucharist are always needed and the Church will be pleased to have you serve once everything is completed. If everything is cleared up, you will then be free to have communion in full union with the Catholic Church. See you soon! - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I kept some ashes from a loved one that was cremated. The rest of his ashes were buried. Do I have to bury the ones I kept or can I keep them with me for as long as I want.- Martha ________________________________
Dear Martha: I am sorry to hear of your loss. The cremated remains should be placed in a worthy container and then buried in a (preferably Catholic) cemetery or placed in a crypt. It also means you can't keep the ashes on display at home on the mantle or put them away in a bank vault. Cremation is not the Church’s preferred means of handling the remains of the faithful, but it is a permitted and recognized choice. Although some of the ashes were buried, keeping some of the ashes for yourself is not the reverent final disposition that the Church requires. Your loved one should be given the dignity of his own grave. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: It was in my understanding that Jesus chose Judas Iscariot to betray him, and that He loved him still. Does that mean Judas was accepted into Heaven, or was he denied entrance? - Jessica ________________________________ Dear Jessica: Jesus loved even His enemies. John 13:18-22 tells us, "I do not speak of all of you. I know the ones I have chosen; but it is that the Scriptures may be fulfilled. 'He who eats my bread has lifted up his hell against me.' He became troubled in spirit and said, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, that one of you will betray Me." And then in Mark 14: 21 it says "The Son of man indeed goeth, as it is written of him: but woe to that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! good were it for that man if he had never been born." One might say that Judas was doomed, not only because of his betrayal but because at the end he took his own life. But we cannot know if he prayed for forgiveness to God or not in the final moments before his death. This is a matter that one day will become clear to all of us who believe. This is a matter on which God will judge, not man. Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: How should I reply to someone when they tell me that they forgive me for being Catholic? I don't want to be ugly to them but it has been told to me more then once. - Nanette ________________________________ Nanette: None of us have to explain what we believe. A standard answer would be, "I am so glad you are a Christian as I am. We both believe in Jesus Christ Who loves and died for us." If you know that person well, add a hug and say, "Isn't Jesus wonderful?", and leave it at that. Don't argue or defend anything. Just pray for them. Hope this helps. - CatholicView CatholicView Staff: I have been praying for years for a husband. I am 30 years old and not getting any younger. Why isn't God answering me? I am not asking for anything greedy or selfish. I am asking to love and be loved. God sends people husbands and families everyday to people who don't appreciate them. Why can't he answer my prayers? Can you help me understand? Is there really a God? Why does he want me to be lonely and unhappy? Please help. - Amanda ________________________________ Amanda: I am so sorry that you have not found your husband yet. Sometimes we can pray and pray and don't think that God has heard us. But He hears every single prayer you pray. I believe He has someone in His plans for you. The time is just not yet. I would suggest you pray that God's Will be done. I can't tell you how many times some of us badly wanted something that they didn't get, only to find out God had something even better in store. Here is something I came across: "While waiting on God to answer prayers, take stock of your blessings. Are you breathing? Then, rejoice in life! Do you see the blue sky or even a cloudy one? Thank God for the ability to see. Can you hear the sound of the wind blowing through the trees or a child laughing? Praise God for hearing! Turn the wait into a treasure hunt for the blessings that we often take for granted Never forget that answers come in God’s time -- not ours. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” God has promised His own a hopeful future. Rest in God’s faithfulness. He will answer you." Read more at: http://www.allaboutprayer.org/waiting-on-god-to-answer-prayers-faq.htm#ixzz1Vghf7rx2 Trust in the Lord and know that in His own time, He will come through for you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: A few nights ago I had a dream in which God was speaking to me. He was questioning the strength of my faith in him and a list appeared with judgmental words which he told me not to use anymore. The voice was other worldly. Was this God or just a strongly messaged dream? - Nicole ________________________________ Nicole: Interesting question. CatholicView cannot interpret dreams but we think many times we already know that we need to "fix" something in our lives and it hangs heavily on our hearts. It could be the Holy Spirit at work within you. Take heed of what you feel and try to amend those things you know need mending. I think we all should pay attention to the nudge the Holy Spirit brings to our conscience. Thank you for writing. May the Lord bless you. - CatholicView Staff God bless you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: Should Christians tithe or was tithing only meant for the Israelites. - Tendai ________________________________ Tendai: Absolutely. We all should tithe. The faithful are obliged to assist with the material needs of the Church, each according to his own ability. (CCC 2042-2043). When we give to the Church we are doing what God asked us to do. 1Corinthians 16:2 tells: "On the first day of every week, each of you is to put something aside and store it up, as he may prosper." And again in 2 Corinthians 9:6-7 "he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do as he has made up his mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." If we have money, it is through God blessing us; when we give we share that blessing with others. When we give to the Lord for the continuance of His teachings, we will find that the money we give is returned to us in good measure in blessings. It will be returned to us two fold. Hope this helps you. - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My mom passed away from cancer November 2010. Our Priest gave her last rights 3 times that she was in the hospital for 2 months. My mom has been a faithful Catholic. I wonder everyday if she is in Heaven. Our Priest had told me she is in Heaven and had told my mother she had suffered enough on earth. Can this be true? ________________________________ Lynanne: I do not know what way or the context of why the priest told your mother she had suffered enough. It may be that he felt sorrow for her suffering and was simply echoing that she wanted to die and that was okay. And yes, she is in heaven, free from suffering and pain. Rest assured that since she was a faithful Christian, she is at peace with God, her Savior Jesus Christ and all the angels in heaven. Follow her example and remain faithful, and one future day you will see her again in glory, pain free and happy, with no more earthly burdens of this life. God bless you for caring so deeply for your mother. Go in peace. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I have never been married in the Catholic Church. My husband was previously married in the Catholic Church thirty five years ago and has been divorced for about 18 years. He has never attempted to obtain an annulment. We were married a year ago but not by a priest. My husband does not attend church but I do. Can I receive Communion? - Judy ________________________________ Judy: Please see your priest and tell him in detail about your marriage. Your husband will need an annulment from his first marriage as he is still married to his wife in the eyes of the Church, therefore you are living in sin. You cannot receive communion until this matter of annulment is resolved. Because of the longevity since the divorce, the priest will take all things into consideration, apply for an annulment if necessary, then have your marriage blessed. Please talk to your husband about this so that you will be a full pledged member of the Church and then be able to receive communion. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: I am not Catholic, but have recently gained interest in the Catholic religion. I accept Jesus as my Savior, and make an attempt to follow the example He has set for me. How do I go about talking to a Catholic priest about all the questions that I have about the Catholic way? Where to next? P.S. I am 32 and have spent my life as a Baptist. - Quinn ________________________________ Dear Quinn: Welcome to our Church! Make an appointment through your local Catholic parish to speak to a priest. Tell him what you feel, and ask him your questions. He will set your mind at ease and set up plans for you to receive instructions in the Catholic faith. This is called RCIA which stands for Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, a study of Catholicism. This class will supply all you will need to become a full fledged member of our Church. God bless you for moving forward to the Lord. See you soon - CatholicView Staff CatholicView Staff: My girlfriend's husband molested her girls. When she divorced, the church said she could not be married in a Catholic Church. She was raised Catholic is now Methodist. Can she be allowed back into the fold? We want to get married in front of family in a Catholic Church. George ________________________________ George: You do not give enough details in your letter to answer you fully at this forum. You need to talk with your parish priest who will be most willing to help you. The fact that your girlfriend's ex-husband molested her daughters may likely prove that an annulment would be in order, thus clearing the way for re-marriage and re-instatement to the Church. All this can be discussed at this appointment. Call and set up a time as soon as you can to clarify these things and get everything sorted out. Good luck and may the Lord bless you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Is downloading free music online stealing and wrong in the eyes of God? I am using a website called Groove shark that claims to be legal. It also claims to compensate artists through paying performance rights organizations for streaming music. It is working with record labels to get blanket licensing deals. I see nothing wrong with listening to music for free via the radio. Is it wrong to download and save music off the internet or is this technically stealing? Thanks. Joe ________________________________ Joe: A lot of the music on the Internet is free. If it clearly states free, you are not stealing and this is not a sin. I am not familiar with the website you named but if you are uncomfortable downloading their music, write and ask if it is okay to do this, just to be sure. Some music sites will have a warning attached somewhere on the site to inform those who do download that permission must be secured to copy the music. Others may say the music can be downloaded for personal use but cannot be passed on or resold to others. Hope this helps. CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: My brother died last year under very mysterious circumstances. His will had been changed the previous month, and he had apparently been suffering from severe mental anguish--he died in a psych ER unit. I am considering asking for a medium's help about what happened and what I can do about it all. Is it sinful to follow this course? Thank you. - Peter ________________________________ Peter: I can understand your need to know what happened to your brother so you can put this sad incident to rest. However, the bible tells us that the use of tarot cards, fortunetellers, witchcraft, Ouija boards, palm readers, etc. are tools of evil. As Catholic Christians, it is considered sinful to try to foresee the future or the past, by using sorcery, witchcraft, or black magic because it violates the first commandment “"I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt not have any gods before me". Any such activity that is practiced is wrong and God forbids it. The bible says in Leviticus 20:27,"A man or a woman who acts as a medium or fortune-teller shall be put to death by stoning: they have no one but themselves to blame for their death". Read Deuteronomy 18:47: “The nations you are about to displace consult sorcerers and fortune-tellers, but the Lord your God forbids you to do such things.” Then again, In Jeremiah 27:9,“Do not listen to your false prophets, fortune-tellers, interpreters of dreams, mediums, and sorcerers…” In Acts 13: 8; Paul rebukes Simon Magus, a magician, who wanted to buy the powers of the Holy Spirit to make himself more powerful. We must avoid the things that are forbidden to us as Catholic Christians. You must depend on the Lord to help you in your grief for your brother. To use Tarot Cards or any other means or sources such as fortune telling is wrong. Mediums are an abomination to God and I would advise you to keep away from such evil practices Know that God sees all things. If you brother was suffering mental anguish at the time of his death, our loving God saw this. Let's leave the past up to Him and pray that your brother is free of earthly problems and is now in good stead with Jesus Christ our Savior. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Father, My wife (an unbeliever) committed adultery and filed for divorce. I forgave her, and tried everything to change her mind about divorce, but she finalized the divorce anyway. The experience was very traumatic and I was very depressed, but I'm still here. I have now found someone I would gladly give my life for and I want to marry her and have children with her. I also want our marriage recognized by the Catholic Church so I can immerse myself and my family in the Church. I have read the scriptures on divorce, and consider myself a victim of divorce where my wife -threw me away- What do the Scriptures say about me? If I remarry am I committing adultery? Would the Catholic Church accept me and my soon to be family? - David ________________________________ David: It is truly sad when a spouse leaves a marriage and files for divorce. You tried to reason with your wife and get marital help but to no avail. God saw this. You say you are not Catholic in your letter. Do you want to become Catholic? And your new love, is she Catholic? You are not clear on these points. A priest in your area will be able to advise you on this since your information does not give particulars. Obviously, if you are a Catholic you will need an annulment of your first marriage before you can marry in the Church, because you are still married to your first wife in the eyes of the Church. But all this can be straightened out and yes, you will be able to marry in the Church after this matter of your first marriage is cleared up. God go with you. - CatholicView Staff
CatholicView Staff: Is it acceptable from a Catholic viewpoint to also attend a protestant church? I understand there are differences in doctrines, such as about Holy Communion. For that I have examined both sides of the argument, both sides can be convincing. But I think that ultimately, these differences are not important as compared to loving God wholeheartedly and loving one's neighbor (summary of the 10commandments). I find that the majority of Catholics tend to be passive in their faith and what I would call Sunday Catholics. I admit I was once like that. I have been going to a protestant church for awhile and the reason I keep going is that it was there that I began to truly take God seriously and put him in the centre of my life. I am not saying that all protestant churches are acceptable. Ultimately if this church brings me closer to God, is it wrong? I think it would please God that I have a closer relationship rather than just merely going through rituals. After all, God looks at the heart and motives, not just action. I am aware of the differences between Catholics and Protestant. I'm sorry this question is so long, but really do hope you can take time to answer it! Thanks, it would be greatly appreciated. - Daniel ________________________________ Dear Daniel: The Catholic Church does not advise parishioners to switch churches back and forth. There is nothing wrong with attending a Protestant Church with a friend or on your own once in a while but it is not a substitute for attending mass at your own church. The Catholic Church requires faithful attendance. However if you feel the pull to go elsewhere, then you must decide this matter through prayer. Prayer is most important in your case. If you feel comfortable and feel you have a closer relationship with God in the Protestant Church, then you must make the choice to go there. Let the Lord guide you. When we stand before the Lord one day, He is not going to ask you where you attended church; He will ask you if you followed His commandments, believed that Jesus Christ died for us all as Savior, and lived the life He taught us to live. If you have done this, you will have eternal life. May the Lord bless you and give you the understanding to make your choice in this matter. - CatholicView Staff |
TO CONTINUE PAST "ASK A PRIEST" QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
CLICK HERE
Please
use the link at the top left side of this page
to comment or be added to the mailing list.