ASK A PRIEST
 QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
AUGUST 2010


FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF


FATHER WILLIAM G. MENZEL
 "Does the Catholic Church have the right to change God's will?"
 - Tom

Father Bill:

I believe that "God always was, always will be and always remains the same."  I read CatholicView's answer to eating meat on Friday at one time being a mortal sin but not today. If God wanted it to be a mortal sin to eat meat on Friday then it never changes. Or even if God made it a mortal sin to consciously do something against God's will it never changes. The Catholic [Church] does not have the right to change God's will. - Tom

 

Dear Tom:

Thanks for writing. I’m sure that there are many other Catholics who would readily identify with your comments.

Before I continue, I just want to make sure that you have read the entire answer about eating meat on Friday to which you refer, and I want to make sure that others reading my comments have the opportunity to do so, too. It can be found here: http://catholicvu.com/newpage256.htm. 

There are many important principles that the Catholic View Staff members address in their answer, and it’s important that they be understood. I had nothing to do with the writing of that answer, but I completely agree with what it says. For what I hope are obvious reasons, I don’t want to have to repeat all of it here.

The Baltimore Catechism answer to which you refer, that “God always was, always will be and always remains the same,” is a beautiful and powerful expression of the transcendent nature of God. It’s important to realize that this is a statement about God’s essence, His very being. It’s also important to acknowledge that this statement is about God, and God alone. It is not about us. It is not about the Church.

Let me get right to the point: the Friday abstinence rule that existed in the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church for many years was a man-made rule. God did not make the rule. God did not make eating meat on Friday a mortal sin. No doubt in most cases it is God’s will that the commandments of the Church be faithfully observed by all Catholics, but please note this carefully: the commandments of the Church can and do change.

The Church makes its rules and commandments in order to help all of us on our path to salvation. Wisely, these man-made rules and commandments are reevaluated on a fairly regular basis by bishops, Church councils, canon lawyers, Vatican commissions and committees and various other consultative and authoritative entities within the family of the Church. Often it is necessary or desirable to make changes so as to better reflect the Church’s mission.

The Church has every right to change its rules, including the rule about Friday abstinence. This in no way affects the immutability of God.

I hope that this addresses your concern, Tom.  May God bless you. - Father Bill


 "My son's pastor says if leading a promiscuous gay lifestyle brings him
happiness, then it is ok.  Could my son have misunderstood?" - Julia

Father Bill:

Our 18 year old son has chosen a promiscuous gay lifestyle.  We are trying hard to understand.  He says that our Pastor told him that if it brings him happiness, that it is ok to live this way.  I understand that many feel that being gay is not a choice, but do you think a priest would truly encourage this lifestyle?  Could my son have misunderstood?  - Julia

 

Dear Julia:

First of all I would like to commend you for trying hard to understand what is happening in your son’s life and for being concerned for his welfare.  I am in awe of the enduring love that parents have for their children, even in the midst of the confusion and concern they must sometimes feel.  Your son is fortunate to have the loving parents he does.

Whether being gay is a choice or not is a question that, in my opinion, is altogether too often answered with a simple yes or no.  I believe the truth is that for some people it is a choice, and for others it is not. Frankly, I think that the whole matter of sexual identity and gender preference is very complex and is influenced by a multitude of factors.  I have great sympathy for those who struggle with this complexity in their own lives.

Regarding the specifics of your question, may I suggest first of all that you speak with the pastor who counseled your son?  Don’t ask him, “What did you tell our son?”, as this sounds like a challenge—and more important, there may be confidentiality involved.  However, I think you could tell him what your son understood him to say and ask if, in fact, that is what he intended.  It is entirely possible that your son misunderstood—or heard what he wanted to hear.

While anything is possible, I doubt that most priests would encourage a gay person to maintain a promiscuous lifestyle.  (I’m assuming that by “promiscuous” you mean multiple sex partners.)  As you may have guessed, it is not easy to counsel gay persons.  The Church does not teach that it is a sin to be gay, but it does teach that homosexual acts are immoral.  Obviously, this means that a gay person must be celibate for life.  Many priests in counseling gay persons try their best to encourage a celibate lifestyle but will affirm their compassion for those who will find this nearly impossible.

Ever since the homosexual community appropriated the word “gay” back in the late 1960s, I have thought that it seemed to be a rather paradoxical choice.  The original meaning of “gay” was something like “happy in a light-hearted sort of way”, yet there doesn’t seem to be a lot of that kind of gaiety in so much of the gay community—especially where promiscuity is rampant.  Rather there seems to be a lot of sadness and desperation, with the pain masked by multiple hook-ups fueled by alcohol and other drugs.  Along with this, there seems to be an almost obsessive fear of growing old.  The happiest gay people that I know are the ones in monogamous relationships who do not flaunt their homosexuality, but simply mix in well with the communities around them.

Given all this, it will be important for your son to know that you will always love him, no matter what.  He is entering young adulthood, so he may give no indication that he appreciates your love and concern, but deep down it will be reassuring to him as he finds his way in life.  Finally, be sure to pray for him and for his friends, and always keep in mind that we are all God’s children.

Here is a great resource from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops.  You might find it very helpful: http://www.usccb.org/laity/always.shtml  God bless you, Julia.  - Father Bill

 
 "The Catholic Encyclopedia teaches Mary was a virgin forever.  Where does
it teach that Mary was a perpetual virgin?" - Dewey

Father Bill:

The Catholic Encyclopedia shows the dogma which teaches that the Blessed Mother of Jesus Christ was a virgin before, during, and after the conception and birth of her Divine Son.   Quote: The perpetual virginity of our Blessed Lady was taught and proposed to our belief not merely by the councils and creeds, but also by the early Fathers. The words of the prophet Isaiah (vii, 14) (Isa 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel) are understood in this sense by (it goes on and lists some 12 Saints)

I must be misunderstanding what I am reading....I don't see this as teaching a perpetual virginity. -   Dewey

Dear Dewey,

Perhaps you are misunderstanding what you’re reading … but then again, maybe you’re not. It all depends on what you’re looking for.

If you want some kind of proof of Mary’s perpetual virginity, you will not find it. You will not find it in the Bible, you will not find it in the Catholic Encyclopedia, you will not find it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

What you will find is a long history of Christian belief in the perpetual virginity of Mary. This belief has scriptural roots (though not proof), as in the passage from Isaiah that is cited in your quote from the Catholic Encyclopedia. The Gospels of Matthew and Luke add the New Testament understanding of the virginal conception of Jesus, which primarily supports the belief that Jesus truly is the Son of God, but it also led the early Christian Church to, as the Catechism of the Catholic Church says (CCC § 499), “confess Mary’s real and perpetual [my emphasis] virginity even in the act of giving birth to the Son of God made man.”

So, Dewey, what we’re dealing with in the passage you quote from the Catholic Encyclopedia is not proof, but affirmations of belief in Mary’s perpetual virginity that go right back to the dawning days of our Christian faith.

As you know, not all Christians agree with this ancient belief about Mary’s virginity, since it is not specifically supported by Scripture. However, the Catholic Church gives great weight to ancient traditions and beliefs, particularly as they are expressed in the writings of the Church Fathers (among whom are those twelve “saints” you refer to in your question). Since the perpetual virginity of Mary is not contradicted by Scripture, it certainly seems worthy of belief.

I hope this helps, Dewey, and thanks for bringing the matter up. May God bless you. - Father Bill


FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
"I am starting to move away from religion and is influenced by science. 
Why aren't fossils of dinosaurs not mentioned in the bible?" - Richard

Father Kevin:

I am a Catholic and have been for all 26 years of my life, but I am starting to move away from religion as I am influenced by science.  Could you help me by explaining how scientists have discovered fossils of dinosaurs when they are not mentioned in the bible? – Richard 


 

Hi Richard:

Molecules, black holes, quasars, nuclear fission all existed back when the dinosaurs were around.  They are not mentioned about in the Bible. The Bible is not meant to be a comprehensive natural history.  It is the story of a people’s journey of faith.  Scientists discovered the dinosaur fossils because they are there.  People discovered God because He is there too, except they discovered Him through faith and personal encounter rather than scientific research.  There are many ways of knowing and they are all valid.  All good wishes.  - Father Kevin


 "I correspond with a death row prisoner.  He finds it hard to maintain
his faith.  How can I help him through this?"  - John

Father Kevin:

I correspond with a death row prisoner in Pennsylvania.  He is finding it very hard to maintain his faith.  He feels that he is not receiving anything from the Holy Spirit.  How can I help him through this crisis? – John

Dear John:

What a wonderful thing you are doing in journeying with this inmate.  I can understand someone on death row giving in to fear and despair and not sensing the presence of God’s Spirit.  However, through your love, patience and resilience in continuing to journey with him, we can pray that at some point he will glimpse God’s love for him.   Maybe there are issues around which his heart is not yet at peace and this time is a time of yearning, uncertainty, guilt or restlessness.  Who knows what is going on in his heart.  All you can do is stay with him and for him to know you are there when he is ready to hear and please God to find some peace.  Every blessing to you.  Father Kevin


 "Does God have favorites?" - Ludwig

Father Kevin:

A Catholic Priest in one of his homilies said: "God has favorites, but He does not play
favorites." I don't understand... Does God have favorites? – Ludwig

Hi Ludwig:

Just as not every pronouncement of every Pope is necessarily correct, nor is the pronouncement of every priest, including the one writing to you now!!  I don’t understand what this man means either. There is no way of knowing God’s heart in this way.  All we can say is that God loves each of us and all creation unconditionally.  This much we know through our faith and this much is more than enough to satisfy our hungry hearts. Our spiritual journey is not a competition to see who gets the best place in God’s house!  Everyone is invited.  The statement above that you have quoted is impossible to justify and certainly bears no resemblance to Catholic teaching.  Good wishes. - Father Kevin


 CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
"I no longer believe I will be damned if I do not attend Mass. 
 Should I confess I don't believe this?" - Lou

CatholicView Staff:

I have not attended Mass for a long time. I was taught that if you miss Mass it is a sin and you will be damned if you do not confess the sin. I no longer believe this to be true. I want to return to Mass, do I still have to confess an act that I do not believe is a sin? Thanks. - Lou

Lou:

Father Ray Ryland answers your question in an article appearing in Catholic Answers. com,  "Why is it mortal sin, objectively speaking, to choose to stay away from Mass on Sundays or holy days of obligation? The answer is, by that decision, on that occasion, we turn our backs on Christ and on the process of our redemption. We refuse to carry out Christ's command to "do this" for the recalling and receiving of Him and His salvation.

The utter folly of what we do by willfully ignoring our Mass obligation is somewhat analogous to a deep-sea diver's putting a crimp in his air line so that no air can come through to keep him alive. By a decision to miss Sunday Mass or a holy day of obligation we suspend the operation of sanctifying grace in our lives. For the sake of our eternal salvation, we must go to confession in true contrition as soon as possible and take the crimp out of our air line, so to speak, allowing sanctifying grace again to flood our souls

To read the article in its entirety, go to http://www.catholic.com/thisrock/2000/0007fea2.asp . 
God bless. - CatholicView Staff


"During confession I said I regretted having an abortion but did not say I did not regret
the loss of the baby.  Am I absolved?" - Kris

CatholicView Staff:

I'm a pro-life Catholic. Last year I had a medical abortion. I went to confession a week later. I gravely regret taking the medications and the abortion procedure, and I sincerely confessed that. My problem is that although I'm ashamed and sincere in my confession of the medical abortion, and I wish I didn't do it, I didn't really regret the fact that I didn't have a baby. I didn't tell that to the priest at the time. I have prayed and asked forgiveness from God many times about this. Can I confess the sin of the action but not regret the outcome of that action? Am I truly absolved? - Kristi

 

Dear Kristi:

To confess a sin but not feel sorrow for outcome of that act negates the whole since that action in your case is twofold.  When we ask for forgiveness, we express sorrow, not only for the act, but the circumstances surrounding it particularly since it is the destruction of human life.   If the medical abortion meant taking an abortion pill or by surgical means to terminate your pregnancy because of a life threatening situation emergency, this would be a matter beyond your control.  If you had the procedure done with the express purpose of getting rid of a human life but feel nothing for the loss of that life, this is something that must be addressed, and yes, you need to be forgiven and truly mean it.  

I suggest you make an appointment to speak to your priest.  Your confession is incomplete.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"Is it possible to dip the host in the Communion Cup at Mass?" - Lori

CatholicView Staff:

Could we switch from drinking from the communion cup to dipping the wafer in it?   I feel guilty when I refuse the cup, but I am a germaphobe.   I was raised Catholic, but I want to go back to another church with individual cups to reduce my anxiety. Help!- Lori

 

Lori:

Thank you for your question.  In the Roman Catholic Church the communicant receiving the host in the hand must not dip the wafer into the wine.  This is expressly forbidden. 

The action you are referring to is called intinction. This practice of dipping the consecrated Host in the consecrated Precious Blood is customary in the Eastern rites of the Catholic Church and in the Eastern Orthodox Churches.  This must be done only by a priest or deacon under strict conditions.  The bread used for Communion is leavened, so it is cut into cubes and the priest or deacon dips it into the wine, then places it on the tongue using a spoon.  The receiver does not touch anything either before, during, or after the intinction.  See about.com to continue reading about this subject: http://catholicism.about.com/b/2009/10/16/reader-question-communion-and-intinction.htm . - CatholicView Staff

 
"How can I get my child's name removed from the Church's
baptismal records?" - Jane

CatholicView Staff:

My child was christened catholic against my will by my ex husband. How do I get her name removed from the Catholic Church records. - Jane

 Hello Jane:

Thank you for writing to us.  As to your question concerning sacramental records of Baptism and First Communion, these records are considered LEGAL DOCUMENTS and cannot be deleted.  The Church is required by canon law as well as civil laws (depending on the country) to safeguard these records always.  Your child's name is recorded in the baptismal record.   But, if you write to the Church where your child was baptized, your letter will be saved in a file in your parish church stating that your child is no longer a member or participant in the Church.  I hope this helps.  –CatholicView Staff


"My Pastor said it was okay for my boyfriend and I to sleep
in one bed if fully clothed.  Was he correct? - Marie

CatholicView Staff:

A priest at my university told me that it would be ok for my boyfriend (of 2.5 yrs) & myself to sleep in the same bed together, so long as we are fully clothed and only sleep. I am committed to chastity, & I am questioning what he said. Was he correct?  Thank you!  - Marie

 

Dear Marie:

It is not okay for two people of the opposite sex to sleep in one bed together.  The reason?  The Church tells us to avoid the occasion of sin. 

The fact that he is your boyfriend, that you have feelings for each other, puts you both in danger of committing sin.  Even if you have good intentions, you can still be tempted.   Do not open the door of temptation and allow the enticement of sin to enter.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"I had an abortion before becoming Catholic but I never confessed this
sin.  Will I be excommunicated if I tell the priest?" - Mary

CatholicView Staff:

I was raised Lutheran and as a young woman had an abortion. I married a Catholic, and subsequently converted to the Catholic religion. My husband and I have been married for over 30 years and have had 3 children. When I converted, the priest conducting our classes never had us do a confession before concluding the process.  I have been to Communal Penance many, many times, but have never done a face to face confession.  Because of the many years that have passed, I am fearful of excommunication.  I have prayed for forgiveness many, many times but have never confessed this sin out loud.  I am fearful to go to our parish, or any other priest with this sin. Please advise. Thank you so much for answering my question. - Mary

 

Dear Mary:

You are to be praised for being a faithful Christian and raising your three wonderful children for thirty years.   But, I am sorry to hear that you have kept this heavy burden to yourself.

First of all, God is a forgiving and loving God.  He has already forgiven this terrible sin.  He waits for you to accept His forgiveness and be united in full to the Church through confession.  Until you do so, you will not be free.  Also because of this sin, you are asked to refrain from taking communion until you make things right in the Church.

You will not be excommunicated, so do not be afraid to talk to your parish priest.  Whatever you say to him will remain in the confessional.  The priest cannot break the confessional seal under penalty of excommunication.  Let go of this guilt so you can move on, knowing that all has been done right at last.  God go with you and strengthen you to finally liberate yourself from the past so that you can move on to enjoy your husband and family.  - CatholicView Staff


"Can you explain why some Baptist Christians teach hate and
intolerance?" - Ronny

CatholicView Staff:

Is there any way you can explain to me the Baptist segment of Christianity?   Mainly how they teach hate and intolerance?  I have never met a more self righteous group of people.  Please help.  - Ronny

Ronny:

Do not concern yourself with those who hate and teach intolerance.  Jesus tells us in the following Parable that we cannot be Christians and at the same time be self righteous and unable to see the faithfulness of other Christians.  I think this Parable below sums this up.

In Luke 18:10-14, Jesus tells us,  “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector.  The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer,   'I thank you, God, that I am not a sinner like everyone else.  For I don’t cheat, I don’t sin, and I don’t commit adultery.  I’m certainly not like that tax collector!  I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ 

“But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed.  Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.'  Jesus said told the crowd,   "I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God.  For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Don't worry about others.  Let them get rid of the plank out of their own eyes before worrying about the speck in yours. (Luke 6:41-42)

Be at peace Ronny, and move forward in your faith. - CatholicView Staff

 
"Am I guilty of cooperation when I said okay to my girlfriend
to have an abortion? - Jeff

CatholicView Staff:

My girlfriend has had an abortion. I wanted her to have the baby and then put the baby up for adoption, but I said "ok" when she said she would "take care of it" (have an abortion). Am I guilty of formal cooperation and excommunicated? - Jeff

 

Dear Jeff:

You are equally responsible for the sin of killing your unborn child through abortion.  You agreed by saying "Okay".

Have you asked God to forgive you?  This is vitally important for your soul is at stake. 

Please speak with a priest about this immediately.  You need to ask almighty God for forgiveness.  You still have the option to make things right.  You ARE NOT excommunicated.  BUT, you will need to reinstate yourself to the Church by going to the Sacrament of Confession.  You must not accept communion until you do, for you have committed a mortal sin.    In the future you must take responsibility for your actions. - CatholicView Staff


"Can I take communion if I masturbate without going to confession?"
- Sebastian

CatholicView Staff:

If I masturbate, can I still go to Communion or do I have to wait until I can take an evening off to go to confession? I know it must be confessed, but does it prevent one from receiving communion? - Sebastian

Sebastian:

One of the priests at CatholicView has this to say about masturbation in a previous article:  "Let's be clear and blunt: masturbation is ALWAYS a sinful act, contrary to God’s ideal law concerning how human beings should live as Christians. There is no excuse or deceiving one’s self in thinking that masturbation is acceptable under certain circumstances or that it is not sinful because “everyone does it.” Nor can we excuse masturbation as morally acceptable within the sacred bonds of marriage even if one partner cannot fully express their love for one another in physical intimacy for the “release of sexual tension.”  Sexual expression must always be fulfilled within the bonds of marriage and with its two goals (ends) always in sight: (1)Unitive meaning that it is the completing and fulfilling the love bond between a man and a woman in the sacrament of marriage, and (2)Procreative meaning open to life, open to the creative processes of having children.   Here is a link which may help you understand the Church's position: 

Yes, I suggest you go to the Sacrament of Penance.  Hope this helps.  - CatholicView Staff 

 
"How does one handle bullying/belittling in the workforce?"
 - Adelheid

CatholicView Staff:

How does one handle bullying/belittling in the workforce? (Management & coworkers are doing this) - Adelheid

Adelheid:

I am so sorry to hear that you are having problems at work.  You do not say how or why this is happening. so I cannot address your question fully.

Because immediate management is part of this, it is hard to bring this behavior to the attention of your boss.  Certainly you must be doing a good job for the company or you would not be able to keep your job.  Many times people are jealous in some way.  

Is there someone who is the head overseer at work?"  Someone who you could sit down and discuss your problems without causing more conflict or endangering your own position with your company?  Again, because CatholicView does not know the extent of your problem, it is hard to fully understand. 

Why not try to avoid any discussions with those who belittle you.  Do you work well.  Always smile in the face of those who enjoy taunting you.

Pray and ask the Lord to guide you each day as you face those who are unkind to you and if at all possible, look for other means of employment.    CatholicView will pray that you find peace.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"I have lost my faith and want to end my life.  Will you pray that
the Lord touches my heart?" - Cooper

CatholicView Staff:

I used to be religious. I want God back in my life.  I was happy then with Him.  I hope He can talk to me and at least guide me in my life.   I stopped praying because I always don't get His blessing and at the end I blame him.   I don't want to blame him.   I  know I love him but I lost my faith.   Please pray that He touches me not in a bad way but for me to realize He still is here as my father.  I want to end my life soon.   Hope it's not to late.  -  Cooper

Dear Cooper:

You write, "I want God back in my life".   As long as you are alive, you can always know God is there and never will leave you.   Please know this.  But, and this is a big but, you have to pray and invite God to be in your life.  He does not force Himself on anyone.  You must pray and continue to pray, asking Him to give you the peace you seek.  Ask Him to come into your life right now and renew your faith, to let you feel His mighty presence and to give you the hope to keep going on.  You say you stopped praying because God did not give you what you asked for.  God hears all prayers but this does not mean He denied your prayers.  No, rather He has His own reasons for not giving you everything you ask for.  It could be the thing we ask for is not good for you, or He has something even better for you.  Our ways and thoughts are not His ways and thoughts.  This is where faith and trust come in.

Taking your own life is wrong.  It is not yours to take because it does not belong to you but to God.  As long as you are aware of your thoughts of suicide, you are in control of yourself and suicide cannot ever be an option for a believing Christian such as yourself.  As long as you are aware of your thoughts, you are culpable and responsible for your actions and will therefore be judged accordingly by God.  Yes, suicide is a sin against the sixth commandment.

I can feel the pain you are going through.  Always know that God is a God of compassion and understanding and sees the whole context of your life.  He knows all your pains and sufferings and He wants to comfort you and share that pain.  Invite the Lord to help your carry this heavy burden by praying once again.  Please.  Feel confident  when you pray, because God is right there beside you with His mighty love. 

I want you to go speak with a priest right away.  Explain everything to him for he is there to help you, to pray with you, and show you the way back to God, through Jesus Christ.  Please do not delay.

Will you find a quiet place and open your heart to the Lord?  I will pray for you, Cooper, and ask that He will fill your heart with hope, that He will give you His peace, that you will continue with your faith in Him, and that you move forward with your faith.

Never forget...you are loved.  - CatholicView Staff


"I believe I have OCD and I have hurtful thoughts against  the Lord. 
 Is my soul safe?" - Bob   

CatholicView Staff:

I believe I'm suffering from OCD.  I'm having unwanted thoughts pop in my head, sadly they are hurtful against the Lord, thoughts saying I'll sell my soul and just all around scary thoughts that are unwanted and untrue.  I love Jesus with all my heart and would never want to hurt my relationship with him.  Is my soul safe should I seek forgiveness? -  Thank you.

 

Dear Bob:

I am so sorry that you may be suffering with OCD.   As I understand it, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder.  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a type of disorder in which you have unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to engage in repetitive behaviors (compulsions).  

Since CatholicView is not a forum for physical or mental issues, I cannot address this disturbing disorder except from a Church perspective.  I can only suggest that you find a doctor who specializes in Obsessive Compulsive Disorders so that you can find some relief.

Know that God understands what you are going through. You have not sold your soul for God knows you are ill and in need of help.  You are going through a very difficult time.  The main thing is that you love the Lord with all your heart.  God wants you to get that help you desperately need immediately.  Please see a medical doctor. 

Your are one of God's own.  He does not want you to suffer.  He has put help for you through the hands of doctors who can prescribe medication to quiet these impulses.  Evidence has shown that with medical aid you will have fewer symptoms.

By all means, go to confession and make things right between yourself and God.  Know also that He is ready to forgive you.  But He wants you to be well.  Take heart and know that He loves you and He understands what you are going through.  But get assistance so that you can live normally.

Will you do that?  If you are able, please go talk to your parish priest who may aid in finding a doctor who is right for you.  He will also encourage you in the matters that are disturbing your life.  

I will pray for you.  I will ask the Lord to give you the strength to find a doctor to help you.  And I will pray that you find peace knowing that you are loved by Almighty God.  Seek medical advice immediately.  God bless you, Bob.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"My wife has committed adultery.   What do I do now?" -
Larry 

CatholicView Staff:

My wife has committed adultery.   What do I do now??  She has been doing it for over a month now and we are separated.   We were married at a Catholic Church.  She believes now that we are separated it is not adultery to sleep with him. - Larry

Larry:

I am sorry to hear that your wife is committing adultery.  Is there a chance that she would be willing to go with you to talk to a priest or a qualified professional to perhaps mend your marriage?

Separation does not mean your wife is free to continue in her sin.  She is still married to you legally and in the eyes of the Church and will remain so unless she obtains a divorce then gets a Church  annulment.  Please see your parish priest and discuss your options fully with him.  He will be able to ask things that are not covered here.

CatholicView will keep you in prayer, Larry.  God go with you.  - CatholicView Staff   

 
"I live in Utah with a Mormon friend who insists I move
to Utah.  She says I have not been blessed by the
 Holy Ghost.  Is this true?"  Jayce

CatholicView Staff:

I am currently living in Utah with a Mormon friend, who insisted I must move out here and away from my family in PA in order to progress in life.

I told her my family needs me, as they are struggling, and besides I have no means to start a new life in UT, but she insists I stay anyway. She says she has been blessed with the Holy Ghost and I have not, so I am unable to make the right decision (which, according to her, is staying in Utah). Is this true, that I have not been blessed? How would I know? - Jayce

Jayce:

From your letter you sound like a nice person.  You are over 18 years old and a grownup.   As such, you must make up your own mind.  Do not let others dictate or impose their lives onto you.  And as a baptized Christian, you have the Holy Spirit (Holy Ghost) within you and the Holy Spirit will guide you if you pray and ask.  Listen to your heart.  Do not allow others to prevent you for doing what you feel is right.   

Go to your family if you feel that you should.   Do not let others keep you from your loving family who needs you.  You ask if you have been blessed.  Yes, you have.  You are alive and apparently healthy and that is a blessing.  You have a family who loves you.  That is another blessing.   This is only two of the numerous blessings that God has given to you.  Many people do not have even two.

Please go to talk with a priest.  Lay your concerns before him.  Do not let this person own your life.  You belong to you.  God gave you that right.  May the Lord continue to bless you always.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"Is it disrespectful to pray in bed at bedtime?" - Richard

CatholicView Staff:

Is it disrespectful to pray in bed at bedtime?  I really like to end my day by praying the Rosary when I go to sleep.  While I would prefer sitting or kneeling, is it disrespectful to pray in bed? -  - Richard 

  

Dear Richard:

Prayer can be done anywhere.  You can pray as you take a walk, while riding in a bus, or anyplace you happen to be.    The validity of your prayer remains the same wherever you are. 

Traditionally we pray on our knees as a main and important way of prayer, but it is not the only way we can pray.  We can sit quietly in a park or even our backyards and in its stillness commune through prayer to God, our Father.  Jesus also tells us in Matthew 6:6:  "But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees everything, will reward you."

Prayer is speaking to God, and is a voluntary act and can be done absolutely anywhere.  How it is done does not change that connection to almighty God.   God sees and hears all our prayers wherever we pray.  Even a whisper of prayer does not go unheard.  If being in bed is your quiet time with the Lord, your prayers are acceptable.   Hope this helps you.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"Why does God allow disabled people to be subjected to
ridicule and suffering?" - Sita

CatholicView Staff:

Hi there. Please could you help me and give me some advice from God's point of view?  When I see disabled people, I feel so, so sad.  I understand that disabled people probably don't want my sympathy and want to be treated as everyone else is.   However, I recently attended an event where I saw a disabled person...he looked so, so sad. Like he was suffering. He looked lonely and desperately unhappy. He didn't speak, he stood there on his own ... I could have cried so much.  I can't get this person out of my head.  It got me thinking...why does God allow disabled people?  Why does God allow disabled people to be subjected to ridicule and suffering?  I have read that disabled people are from the devil and therefore should not be loved or respected.  Is this true?  I really would appreciate it if you could let me know. I am religious, I do believe in God and pray and aim to be a good person by his standards.  I'm just confused. And hurting about disabled people and how much they suffer.  Thank you so much. - Sita

 

Hello Sita:

Father Kevin Bates answered a question similar to yours in CatholicView by saying " I don't know the answer to this, one of the oldest questions in the book.  Why does God allow suffering?  Why does God allow the brutalities of war, famine, rampant AIDS, and mental disability?   I don't know.  The mystery of suffering is the great frontier that we will never understand well enough I suppose.  I think we can safely say that our greatest growth and learning of life comes from our experiences of suffering  - our own sufferings and the suffering of others.  Does God love these people less than others?  Of course not.  Is their condition the result of God's action?  We can't say that.  Does God allow these conditions?  Yes.  Why? Who knows?   Maybe it's so that we will ask these questions, grow in compassion and work to eradicate such sufferings or heal them or bring peace in the midst of them.  

"Why did God allow Jesus to die on the Cross?   Same kind of question.  Perhaps He opens his arms in suffering, so that we can start to make sense of our own and our world's pain and find hope even there.  It's the greatest mystery eh!  All good wishes." - Father Kevin

One day, God will make all this known to us.   In this life, I will suggest if you encounter people who are disabled, show compassion if you can, and to those who are in need, perhaps find a way to help them.

God bless you for your caring of others.  This is what Jesus asked us to do.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"Can people marry in the Church if they have a child out of
wedlock?" - B

CatholicView Staff:

Can people be joined in marriage in the Catholic church after having a child out of wed-lock? - B

 

Dear B:

Absolutely you can.  Go to speak to a priest in your area and get started.  Welcome!  -  CatholicView Staff

 
"My friend confessed he was gay.  How do I handle this?"
- Daniel

CatholicView Staff:

A good friend recently confessed to me he was gay, I'm now left thinking although it is a sin, that I want to help and support him, especially since he is a good friend in a time of need, and I try to go through life accepting people no matter what their creed, race, culture or sexuality, but the attitude of scripture to this seems to conflict with this acceptance, I'm now torn between what to do and what attitude to take, it feels as I am between God and the right thing which isn't a position I have been in before, or one that I want to be in, the opinion of a priest would be warmly appreciated.  Yours in faith,  Daniel Craig

 

Dear Daniel:

Your concern for all people is an admirable trait.  God is well pleased with this.  The Catholic Church teaches that we must love and support all people, including those who are gay.   Those who have this sexual orientation are welcomed and loved in our Church.  It is considered sinful only if the gay person acts out that identity in a sexual manner. 

This friend is still someone you care about, that does not change.  Continue to help and support him.  Show the compassion and love you yourself expect from a friendship.  May the Lord give you the clarity to offer the love and caring Jesus Christ would give.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"Will general absolution for venial and mortal sins ever be
part of the Mass? - John

CatholicView Staff:

Was wondering if general absolution for all sins both mortal and venial will ever be part of the Mass?  Know that now there is absolution for venial sins but wish that it included all sins.

Are there any movements in this direction being considered?  - John 

 

Dear John:

The "Act of Reconciliation in the Mass," called the Penitential Rite in which the congregation recites, "I confess to Almighty God...." said at the beginning of Mass, and the ending of the Penitential Rite, the priest offers a general absolution, saying, "May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us to everlasting life."

This absolution, however, can only free us from the guilt of venial sin.  If we are conscious of mortal sin, then we must receive the Sacrament of Confession.  Because of this, if we are in a state of mortal sin, we must refrain from receiving Communion.

At this time, I do not know of any movements in the direction you speak of.  Mortal sins, being serious sins, are not covered in the general absolution.  Hope this helps.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"How do I get a personal relationship with Jesus?" - Lou

CatholicView Staff:

What is a personal relationship with Christ and how do I get one!   - Lou

 

Dear Lou:

Thank you for writing to CatholicView.  I know the Lord is well pleased that you want to know more about forming a personal relationship with Him. 

We get this personal relationship through prayer and a willingness to give our hearts and soul to Him.  Revelation 3:20 tells us that Jesus says, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens  the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with Me."  Lou, He waits for you to invite Him into your life wholly and fully.  It has to be your decision to "open the door" to your heart and let Him come in through your belief and faith that He only is your way to the Father.  Only Him.  He paid the price for you to someday live eternally with Him.  You must be willing to put  yourself into His care through trust, and this will be the beginning of a special and unique friendship with Jesus Christ. 

Spend time talking to Him through prayer, telling Him that you want to get to know Him better.   As your friend, He wants to hear all your cares, whether they are good or bad because He loves you.  Put yourself in His trust with confidence, for no one on this earth  can be a better friend than Jesus Christ.   You will feel the warmth of His presence in your life.  Open your heart to His goodness and let him fill it with His special graces.   Talk to Him as you would a valued and special friend and feel the powerful love that will pour down to you. 

Once you open your heart to Him through absolute trust, He will be with you always.   You will get to know Him, and He will fill your life with His protection and His grace.  With your acceptance and your love He will forge that personal relationship with you and you with Him.    It is a relationship like no other.  It will carry you through all things that happen to you in this life.  

May God bless you for wanting to establish the most momentous relationship a human being can have; that of knowing the Lord Jesus as a personal friend.  God go with you as you move forward in your faith. - CatholicView Staff

 
""Is it true some countries request a civil license prior to a
Catholic ceremony?" - Jerry

CatholicView Staff:

My son is planning a Catholic marriage this winter in Austria.  He has done the marriage prep through our diocese & has obtained our priest's permission to marry in that country.  Most European countries require a civil ceremony separate from the religious ceremony.  The priest in Austria expects him to bring a civil license to him in that country prior to the Catholic ceremony.  Does the Catholic church in the USA recommend that couples such as this conduct a civil (non-Catholic) ceremony in the US by a justice of the peace?  I would have expected that our Catholic church would NOT recommend a civil ceremony. - Jerry

 

Jerry:

Thank you for your question. Each country has its own laws concerning the legality of marriage and wherever that marriage is taking place, the laws of that country must be followed.  In the USA, a marriage license from the county is required before the marriage is solemnized in the church.  In other countries, such as Austria and Mexico, for example, the civil laws governing the contracting of marriage demands that before there is a church wedding that a civil marriage must first be performed.  So, if your son is getting married in Austria, he and his bride must follow the laws of that country and have a civil marriage certificate to have their marriage solemnized in the church.   The Catholic Church demands that we follow the laws of the country that we are in.   God's blessings to you.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"My father and his parents were Catholic and I am Protestant. 
Is it important for one to return to their roots?" - Wayne

CatholicView Staff::

My father and his parents were Catholic. I attend a Protestant congregation. I believe the basic Christian tenants. Is it important for one to return to their roots? - Wayne

 

Dear Wayne:

Certainly it is a great idea to return to the roots of family members.  But in matters of the soul, one has to choose for themselves.   Follow your heart and the Holy Spirit.  Pray about your decision.  Let the Lord guide you in this matter.  For at the end, you will stand alone to be judged. - CatholicView Staff

 
"If a person is diabolically possessed, could they offer
their suffering to God?" - Liz

 

CatholicView Staff:

Hello!  I have been reading about exorcism and thinking about the suffering of the diabolically possessed.  Would their suffering (their possessed state), which includes physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional, be a very powerful prayer if offered up to God?  Thanks!  - Liz

 

Liz:

If the person is aware of being possessed or in need of exorcism, then yes, they can pray and ask God for His intervention.  Certainly they can, if able, offer their suffering to God. 

Obviously, this is a complex matter.  But prayers can be offered by the person and surely by friends and family.  May the Lord bless you.  - CatholicView Staff

 
"My husband is addicted to narcotic pain medication and has explosive and
manic episodes. Is it wrong to not want him to live with us anymore?" - Angela

CatholicView Staff:

My husband is addicted to narcotic pain medication. He has very explosive and low manic episodes. We've been together 22 yrs and our 20 and 19 yr old children and 9 month old grandson live with us. Is it wrong to love him but not want him to live with us anymore?  - Angela

 

Angela:

I am so sorry your husband is addicted to pain medication.  To live with someone who is in this condition is frightening and is a danger to his whole family.  You must protect the home at all costs.

Can you speak to the doctor who gives him these medications?  And would your husband be willing to see a professional to talk about his habit and perhaps find a way to get off these narcotic pain medications? 

For help, please visit your parish priest.   He will give you information about finding a professional to work with your husband and get him off the drugs.  If your husband refuses this help, then he must find a place to live elsewhere until he gets the care he needs. He is a threat to the family.  He cannot be allowed to be around your grandson or the family in this condition.  You have to think of your family and yourself.     - CatholicView  Staff

 

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