AUGUST 2005

FATHER KEVIN BATES
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF



FATHER KEVIN BATES

Father Kevin:

I am contemplating entering a cloistered community but am confused because the scriptures state that it is the responsibility of children to care for their parents in their old age (1 Tim 5:4-16). The scriptures clearly state that it is my religious duty to care for my aging parents, yet if I become a cloistered nun, I will be unable to fulfill this obligation. I am feeling very torn, as on the one hand, I feel God is calling me to devote my life to Him as a nun, though the Bible clearly states that by not providing for my family, I will have "denied the faith" and will be considered to be "worse than an unbeliever" (1 Tim 5:8).
Thank you for your guidance and support.  In Christ, Kira

Dear Kira,

You certainly are on the cusp of a difficult decision, one that you of course have to make for yourself, knowing that God trusts you to make the most generous and life-giving decision that you can. I think it's important that you make your decision in the presence of the God who believes in you and has entrusted you with the intelligence and freedom to determine a good outcome.

Have you talked to your parents about your dilemma?  Perhaps they would be delighted for you to enter the convent, and perhaps they would prefer you to stay and care for them.  Have you other brothers or sisters, or other relatives who could care for your parents as well as you can?   Do you have the option of a good aged-care facility, perhaps even a Catholic one, which would offer the care your parents need? 

Following up all these possibilities would certainly be a way of responding positively to the scripture texts you quoted.  I pray that you can come to a decision that is lifegiving for you as well as your parents.  All good wishes, Father Kevin  

Dear Father:

How can the Eucharist be the same as Jesus' original sacrifice, perpetuated continuously, when the Book of Hebrews says there is no more need for the priests to stand daily offering sacrifices, since Jesus came and did it once and for all?  Thanks for your time. - Beth

Dear Beth,

The Eucharist is the celebration of what Jesus has already accomplished and continues to accomplish in our lives. The Eucharist through the Word of the Scriptures and the Sacrament of the Breaking of the Bread, enables us to taste the gift that he offers us.  The gift as you say was made once for all - and for always.  We simply continue to receive the benefits of this gift, which becomes truly present for us in the Sacrament.  It is not a repetition of Jesus' sacrifice, but rather a making-present of his once-for-all sacrifice, so that we ourselves might offer our lives as a living sacrifice of the life of our world. 

We surely need Jesus present with us in our world where globalization, greed, violence, prejudice and fear shape so much of our peoples' lives.  The Eucharist is a constant call to renew the world in love, justice, compassion and mercy, and the presence of God in Jesus at our Eucharist is a wonderful source of hope for us, as well as a profound challenge.

Every blessing Beth, Father Kevin

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

CatholicView Staff:

I grew up in the Roman Catholic and I went to Catholic school all they way from kindergarten through high school. I have through the years been very happy with the Roman Catholic Churches I attended in the North ( New York and New Jersey) I now live in Mount Holly, NC and am very unhappy with the several different churches I have attended here. I have been moving from one to the other trying to find a church I am happy with, but am unable to match the experience I have had with Roman Catholic Church in the North with my experience in the South. I am afraid that My unhappiness with my experiences here are prompting me not to send my children to the religious (CCD) programs provided here. It is very important to me that my children receive their sacraments. My oldest was baptized and had her first communion, but has not yet been confirmed. My youngest has been baptized but has not yet made her first communion.

My first question to you is: Is it authorized by the Roman Catholic Church for children to attend religious instruction at home and still receive her sacraments? And if it is authorized how would I go about doing it the right way?   My second question is:
What is the difference between The Roman Catholic Church and the Catholic Church? Please respond as soon as you can as this is very important to me.    Thank you, Michelle

Dear Michelle:

I am saddened to hear that you have not experienced the level of worship and spirituality that you had when you were in New Jersey and New York.  I do not understand, since you do not explain, what the differences are in the celebration of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass you see in North Carolina.  Very rarely there are “home study” programs for religious education that are approved by a local diocese.  You must ask your local priest about such programs.  In dioceses where “home study” religious education is accepted, these programs are accountable to the religious education director of a local parish.  As to the difference between the Roman Catholic Church and the Catholic Church, I do not know what you mean.  The Roman Catholic Church has as its universal pastor and head the bishop of Rome, the Pope (Pope Benedict XVI).  Any church that does not acknowledge the Pope as universal pastor and is accountable to the Pope is not Catholic.  CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

If my husband chooses to divorce me and I have no say in the matter, am I free to remarry?   I am not yet a Catholic but I truly believe and am starting RCIA classes in a couple of weeks.  I have done extensive Internet research, library study, and purchased materials on my own.  I am college educated as well.  I was just wondering what the official standpoint was on this sick situation.  There was abuse involved and I made every effort to stay in the marriage.  Please give me your opinion.  I didn't want to die at his hand or see my children suffer.  How can that be wrong?  I've prayed for him for a very long time.  I hope to hear from you soon.  I wanted to ask someone anonymously before going to my new parish with this information.  Thank you very much. - Tammy

Tammy:

There are some unknowns to me here.  You do not mention if your husband is a Catholic and if you were married in the Catholic Church.  But, let’s say, you are not Catholic, and your husband is not Catholic, and you were not married in the CatholicChurch, then you would be able to marry in the Catholic Church in the future if you became Catholic.  The “Pauline Privilege” is a dissolution of a previous marriage in favor of the “Believing party” ( that would be you if you become Catholic) so that a Catholic can marry someone of the same faith.  This is mentioned in Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians (I Corinthians 7:15:  “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases.  But God has called us to peace.”  Another form of this privilege is called the “Petrine Privilege,” in which two Christians (who are not Catholic) separate because one of the parties becomes Catholic.  The marriage would also be dissolved on behalf of the Catholic Party. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

My husband and I were both raised non-Catholic Christians.  He was baptized as a baby in a Protestant Church by a minister.  I was baptized as an adult, not long before we were married.  We were married in City Hall, but then had a Church service wedding, in the Church of the Nazarene, by a Nazarene pastor.  Five years later my husband became Catholic.  Three years after that, I became Catholic.  We have never had our marriage blessed in the Church, but from what I understand, because we were non-Catholic when we got married, and married by a Christian pastor, the Church still recognizes our marriage as valid.  Is this so?  Does the civil ceremony before the church ceremony have any effect on that?  Do we need to have our marriage blessed in the Church?  Also, my husband is talking about divorce...if that happens, and the Church now recognizes our marriage as valid, then can we get an anullment?  We have been married for 12 years and have 5 children together, I in no way consider our marriage invalid...I believe it is a valid as can be.   However, I do not want a divorce, yet it may be forced upon me, and if that is the case, I do not want to live my life alone...if this happens, will I be able to remarry one day? – Michalyn

Dear Michalyn:

 The Church DOES recognize your marriage as valid and binding in the eyes of God.  You both became Catholics after your marriage before a Christian/Nazarene pastor.  So it is valid.   There is no need for your marriage to be blessed in the church unless you would like to.  The civil ceremony has NO EFFECT on the validity of the marriage.  You do not explain why your husband wants a divorce.  Seeking an ecclesiastical decree of nullity (annulment) would be difficult since you are asking the church to say that your marriage is not valid FROM THE BEGINNING because certain impediments existed at the time of contracting the marriage (and even before the marriage existed).  You state that you believe you have a valid marriage.  I pray that there is a way to stop your husband from seeking a way out of your marriage and family.  You both need to talk about your marital problems to a counselor or your parish priest.  Don’t give up on your wonderful family and marriage.  Ask God for direction and healing. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I am a married "Senior" who's been asked to volunteer with the marriage prep program at our parish. Despite years of marriage, I find myself puzzled and frankly embarrased concerning the Church's current teachings on the intimate aspects of marriage. In my long-ago "pre-Cana" days, the emphasis was on "controlling your passions," intimacy in darkness only, twin beds preferred, and a tremendous fear of sin, even though married. I hear none of that today. My embarrasment stems from not knowing what the Church says about these things today, and not wanting to appear foolish in my presentation. Other than the birth control issue, I can't find any guidance on "what's allowed" anymore. Any suggestions? - Patrick

Patrick:

 What is allowed in marriage is total, complete, and unconditional love that lasts a lifetime, reflecting Christ’s love for His Church!  What is not allowed is anything that might destroy a true love that helps the other grow and mature in the wisdom of the Lord and His love for all humankind.  As to issues concerning the preparation of engaged couples, I am surprised that your pastor has not given you the materials needed for making such presentations.  In the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, where we are, the couples who will guide such pre-marriage preparations are given a seminar by our Family Life department on what are the expectations of the church in regards to sacramental marriage.  Please ask your pastor for at least the preparation guide of your local diocese.   I am sure that each diocese has such materials for you to study.  Issues in our preparation presentations are:  our Catholic faith informing every aspect of married life (values, family principles), financial planning, family planning, communication and honesty, and the demands of being faithful in today’s world.  - CatholicView Staff

Dear CatholicView:

I am a Catholic and an aspiring nun, however, for some reason I have a strong sexual attraction not only to Christ but also for St. Michael the Archangel (and also angels in general.) I'm not tempted or attracted to humans but I am sexually attracted to angels.  I can easily ignore it, however it is an issue that keeps coming up in my life as a Christian and I would like to confront it.  Also, I have experienced some mind blowing sexual encounters with them and the Lord.  What should I do? What on earth does this mean?  How will this effect my ministry?   I would really appreciate a professional opinion on this. I'm afraid to tell anyone about this because I sound psychotic.  Please help, is this relationship okay?  Thank you and God Bless, D.C.Chambers

Dear D.C.:

You ask whether this is normal behavior to have a sexual encounter with the Lord and angels, and I must tell you that this is not okay.  Perhaps you are confusing "sexual temptation" with the mystical connection to the love of Christ that is so overwhelming that it causes a powerful and overwhelming ecstasy that raises the human emotion and soul to a different plane.  Such ecstasy involves the whole human person.   

You will need to talk to someone about this so that you will be able to distinguish between sexual desire and spiritual ecstasy.  Please seek help to get clarity and understanding in order to understand these emotions in their proper perspective.  Let’s hope this helps.  CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I have a question as a result of an allusion in Proust's work, the novel  “Within a Budding Grove”.  (Page 421 (James Grieve translation- Penguin paperback). 

There are a series of friezes at the church at Saint-Andre-des-Champs (as seen in late 1800s France) that depict scenes of the life of the Virgin.  The Virgin meeting with Elizabeth is one of the frieze scenes mentioned.  My question is this:  I know the Bible fairly well.  The Virgin meeting Elizabeth sounds like it is likely from the Apocrypha.  Is this correct, and if so, from which book in the Apocrypha?  Thank you very much.  I find it fascinating to learn more about Catholicism. - Kelli

Kelli:

The Virgin meeting Elizabeth is well documented in the Gospel of Luke, Chapter 1, Verses 39-56.  The Gospel relates this:  “Now Mary arose in those days and went into the hill country with haste, to a city of Judah, and entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth.”  The Gospel continues to describe the meeting of the Blessed Virgin Mary and her cousin Elizabeth as she awaited to give birth to John the Baptist.   – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I am confused.  An "ex-Catholic" friend of mine referred to some Saints, namely Padre Pio, as "psychic." Their case in point was that Padre Pio, while in the Sacrament of Confession, would oftentimes tell the penitent what sins they failed to confess, if indeed, they failed to bring them to his attention. I understand that the spiritual gift my friend was speaking to is not referred to as "psychic." But, what is the Catholic word for that particular gift of Padre Pio, which he displayed in the Confessional? Christina

Christina:

Padre Pio was not psychic.  He was given the gift of knowledge (or discerning of spirits) when he participated in the Sacrament of Penance (confession).  Please read I Corinthians, Chapter 12, Verses 4-10, for further clarification on special, God-given gifts for the building up of the Church, the body of Christ on earth!  - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

What is the Church's position on the writings and teachings of Edgar Cayce?  I was alarmed recently by a co-worker and fellow-Catholic's declaration that as Cayce's teachings are sympathetic to the Church and Catholic doctrine that belief in Cayce's Spiritism and active participation in his society is acceptable in the eyes of Rome.   How can this be?  Cayce was an occultist, plain and simple; and his teachings have given much to the growing New Age Movement in our country today.  I fear my co-worker and many other Christians labor under grave misconceptions about the compatibility of New Age thinking with the Good News of the New Testament.  Thank you for whatever enlightenment you may be able to offer in this matter.  Sincerely, Patti

Patti:

Edgar Cayce was considered a clairvoyant in his days (the early part of the 20^th century).   Even though he professed his belief in God and in Jesus Christ, he was not exactly a follower of Christ as a Christian.  He saw things in his own way.  He would have visions after going into a kind of trance or epileptic episode and he thought that these visions were of the future. He also provided medical solutions to several illnesses of his time through the use of herbs.  He predicted that Atlantis would be found near the Bahamas by a certain date and it did not happen.  Several of his so-called predictions have not come to pass.

At no time did the Church ever say that Edgar Cayce’s teaching were compatible to the Church’s teachings that we have received from Christ and his Apostles.  New Age ways and methods have their roots in Gnostic teachings of the first, second and third centuries that were declared to be heretical by Christians of that time.  Such teachings are still considered not Christian today.  I do not know where your Edgar Cayce devotee friend gets the idea “that active participation in his society is acceptable in the eyes of Rome.”  It is not.  Jesus is all we need. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

A woman informed me I must leave the Catholic Church if I question any of the Church's teachings.  She said it's a greater sin to stay and disagree than it is to leave because you don't agree.  More and more these days, I feel unwelcome in the Church, mostly because of converts who tell me I'm stupid or that people from my generation were badly educated and don't know as much as they think.  It's beginning to feel as if the Church I grew up in, the Church my family supported for generations, has turned into an elitist country club for the holier-than-thous.  I stopped going to Mass because of this woman's words.  What should I do?  Am I really guilty of mortal sin just because I think allowing priests the option to marry sounds like a good idea?  Peter was married, anyway, so how am I being sinful and why should I leave?  - Graci

Dear Graci:       

CatholicView has read your letter with much interest.   What the lady at your church said to you concerning your thoughts on married priests is incorrect.  Perhaps she is simply misguided.  Please keep in mind that your faith, belief and loyalty to the church is NOT dependent on people who mistakenly judge and say you should leave if you are not in total agreement with laws that may change over time.

The only obligation you must have is to believe in God and His teachings with all your heart and all your soul.  Spiritual disciplines and traditions must always speak to each generation.  Some disciplines and traditions change with the times, but truth is forever.  The teachings from the Word of God and from the oral tradition of the church on matters of faith (definitions of truth) and morals (right behavior) are set.   Spiritual disciplines, such as not eating meat on Fridays, have changed according to the demands of the times.  Disciplines and certain spiritual traditions can be changed because they were initiated by human  leaders of the church.   We can disagree on church discipline, spiritual traditions, even certain teachings and still be total active members of the church.  We even can work for change within the church when we see something that needs to be improved in helping us on the way to salvation in Jesus Christ. 

The church must always reform itself and be constantly in repentance and conversion.  The only things that we cannot disagree on are the basic Christian teachings, such as the Trinity, Jesus is Lord and Savior, that Jesus rose from the dead and is seated at the right hand of the Father and will come again, the teachings of the Creed, and the seven sacraments.  As to disciplines of the church, that is open to debate for every generation.  By the way, as you already know, there are Catholic priests who are married and have families (the Eastern rite) and married Protestant ministers who converted to the Catholic faith and continued in their ministry as ordained priests (mostly on the east coast, though the Diocese of San Bernardino just ordained its first minister turned Catholic complete with his family

Your fellow church member should be careful not to cause others turmoil and unrest unless the reasons are truly valid.  Do not become weary or lose heart.   You must not allow anyone to cause you to give up your church.  Be steadfast.   God gave us free will to think and use our minds to make things better in our churches.  There is nothing wrong in that.  All God cares about is that we keep His word intact, unchanging, and complete, as handed down through generations of believers.  Rules concerning married priests are not.  Be at peace and keep serving the Lord and persevering in your faith.  - CatholicView Staff 

Dearest Fr. Amaro...
Peace to you!!!
I was asking God why did He permitted to gave me such event that I could rather accept.  I received my visa from German Embassy, and I was been denied.  I am so depressed and lost hope in Him, because I gave efforts for this and I pray a lot that He will help me, please.   I still don’t know what I’m going to do and I stopped praying because of this situation.   It’s about the 20th World Youth Day in Cologne Germany.  I need your advice, Fr. Amaro. - Fausto

In Christ name..
Fausto from Philippines

Fausto:

Father Amaro is unavailable to answer your letter because he is away at this time due to death in the family.

CatholicView is so sorry that you are unable to get your tourist visa to Cologne, Germany.   It would have been a momentous event for you to participate in WORLD YOUTH DAY and be able to see Pope Benedict XVI in person.

Sometimes it is hard to see clearly why God does not pave the way for something you want to do for Him.   We feel isolated and unloved when we are denied.   Others are able to go but you are not.  Why?  The only answer is that we don't always understand why God doesn't come through with things we know are good.  Maybe God wants you home for something that may happen this month, or it could be just a test of your faith in Him.  We can never see or know what lies ahead but He can.  Only God know why.  We don’t.

Please feel assured that God loves you and wants the very best for you.  We may not always see His wisdom but it is there.  Do not lose hope in Him and please do not stop praying.  Trust in His judgment and continue to believe in your heavenly Father.  God Bless. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Hello, I am a newly baptized Christian (this Easter!) and do not yet have the wisdom to tackle the tougher questions that non-Catholics throw at me.  I frequently join my Protestant friends in their bible study groups, and only one out of the whole group has never looked down upon me in some subtle or direct way because I am Catholic (no worries.. my faith is not being swayed whatsoever!).  I guess I have two questions: first, I am getting so angry with the whole non-catholic movement and am even loosing my desire to share the word with them as I see it.  Whenever my ideas do not conform, they either shut down, lecture me or get angry - all signs when someone feels backed in a corner- anyway should I just leave them by the wayside and move on with my spiritual journey and not look back toward these lost souls?  Secondly, one of the Protestants attacked the apocrypha a while back and referred to Tobit 6:4-9 and mentioned it was promoting "paganism and witchcraft."  Upon my first reading I agreed with him.  However, after placing this passage in context and researching the elements within the scripture I believe it might be a foreshadowing of Christ Jesus' sacrifice and life.  heart = His love and blood, liver = the sin He cleansed us of, gall = even the harshest times with Jesus can make us see, discarded entrails= discarding false idols.  I told this to one of the Protestants that used to be a good friend of mine, and she scoffed and told me I was just stretching the truth.   I want to know what you think this passage is about and why it is in the bible and if I should just give up on these Protestants (know I'm not pushing my faith upon them, I just want to enjoy the presence of other Christians - although I sometimes question whether or not they even are) and wash my hands of them altogether?  I am very discouraged, but I know that is part of Christian life.   Thank you so much, I hope to hear from you soon! May the Lord be with us all - Jereme

Dear Jereme:

You are to be commended for trying to advance your Christian Faith.  Jesus Christ calls us all to do this.  However as a new Catholic Christian, you must be careful to attend biblical studies at your own parish where like Christian Catholics can share, grow and explore the bible in a familial way, without having to defend your beliefs.  Bible studies should be a sharing of like minds.

The Protestants of the 16th century changed the Old Testament canon of the Bible because they only wanted scripture from Hebrew sources.   But the Protestant leaders (16th century) were not working with the original Hebrew texts because none existed at that time (remember, they didn't have printing presses and MICROSOFT WORD programs...they wrote everything by hand and passed it down from generation to generation). One has to understand that there are NO ORIGINAL HEBREW TEXTS left (these texts were destroyed over time by the elements of nature or by war).  The Latin Vulgate Bible, a translation of the fourth century that the Council of Nicea used as its final edition of what was considered the inspired Word of God, was a Latin translation of the Hebrew and Greek texts that they had then which are older than the texts that we have today.  The Latin Vulgate Translation of the Bible is the official Bible of the Roman Catholic Church and the Eastern Orthodox traditions because it is the first complete Bible with both the Old Testament and New Testament approved in Council by the bishops of the world at that time at Nicea (as an example of the infallibility of the teaching Church on matter of faith and morals.).  No other translation of the Bible nor any other translation is considered official in the Church other than Saint Jerome's fantastic translation and work called the Latin Vulgate. Copying over the centuries changed some words, mistakes were made, and what we have now are just copies of copies and translations of translations.  The Church agreed on the Old Testament canon by translating what they had in the fourth century (318AD).  Some books, such as Tobit, were Greek translations or copies of the originals.  But Tobit and others were accepted as part of the Old Testament canon WAY BEFORE the Protestant reformation of the 16th century.

As to the scriptural verse, TOBIT 6:4-9, let us read it together:  “Now when a boy went down to wash his feet in the river, a large fish suddenly leaped out of the water and tried to swallow his foot.  He shouted in alarm.  But the angel said, "Take hold of the fish and don't let it get away!"  The boy seized the fish and hauled it up on the shore.  The angel told him, "Cut the fish open and take out its gall, heart, and liver, and keep them with you; but throw away the entrails.  Its gall, heart, and liver make useful medicines."  After the lad had cut the fish open, he put aside the gall, heart, and liver.  Then he broiled and ate part of the fish; the rest he salted and kept for the journey”.

This story is about the Archangel Rafael, the healing angel.  Rafael brought the message of God's healing to His people, Israel.   There is nothing about witchcraft here.  Instead, look at the verse:   "Its gall, heart, and liver make useful medicines."  And the boy was sent by the angel Rafael to bring God's healing and deliverance to a needy family.   The boy ate the fish as food for the journey and the gall, heart, and liver were used as medicine (spiritual medicine) for the healing of a person who was being delivered from the power of demons.  Your interpretation is too complex for this simple story.  The account mentioned here is one of deliverance from Satan's power; a simple narrative with a simple interpretation.

You must also be careful not to try to interpret these old stories according to our customs, way of life, and our scientific minds.  The Hebrew people at this time were not Americans living in the 21st century.   So, God works with what He has, and God used his Archangel Rafael to bring His healing to people who sought and prayed for healing.  God called a young boy because the boy was open to God's grace and didn't question or doubted God's message to him through His angel.  In Matthew 19:14, “…Jesus said, Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”  And then again in Matthew 18:3-4  “And Jesus having called a little child to [Him], set it in their midst, and said, Verily I say to you, unless ye are converted and become as little children, ye will not at all enter into the kingdom of the heavens.  Whoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of the heavens; and whosoever shall receive one such little child in my name, receives me.”  God provided food for his journey and provided medicine for His people in bondage.  This story is really about how God provides for our needs and continues to do so today.

Jereme, you write that you want to share with other Christians.  This is a wonderful thing.  Why not share with fellow Catholic Christians?  Attending Bible studies with Protestant friends on a regular basis will always present a problem because these studies may become detrimental and undermine your newfound faith. While your Protestant friends may share basic bible interpretations there will be a separation of interests because they too, have their own church family with their own beliefs and agendas.  It is not fair to either group to try to change another’s belief.  Such conversion tactics can only cause more negativity.  Find a Bible study with fellow Catholics.  Or perhaps you can start a Bible study in your own house!  A church or bible group should always consist of like minds.  Studying the Word of God should not be a negative experience but a spiritual growth experience.  And you will need to study the Bible more to understand the historical context of the written Word so that you can truly appreciate the meaning and wisdom of the Word.  Find joy in sharing your faith with your Catholic Church Family.  May the Spirit of the Lord bless you as you continue your spiritual journey. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Recently, my boyfriend broke up with me. I was very devastated by this event. I went to a healing mass and asked the Holy Spirit to give me some clarity. At the end of the mass I went up to get some healing. Before I was anointed by the oil, I kept asking "Is Jim going to be my husband," over and over again. As soon as a Deacon approached me with the oil, I fell back. I heard "No," in my mind several times. Do you think that this was the Holy Spirit or is it my fear? Afterwards, I went to kneel on a pew and cried for a long time. Can you please help me? – Betsy

Betsy:

CatholicView is sorry for your pain regarding the breakup between you and your boyfriend. It is hard to know what happened to you at the healing mass except to say you were probably feeling the Holy Spirit at that time. Sometimes when we want something very badly, we will try hard to find answers to make us feel better. The truth is, we cannot make another person love or stay with us.  Sometimes, the person you love will realize his mistake and return to the relationship, but it is usually wiser to move on, asking God for the courage to do so.

No one knows the future or what it holds for us.  We have to trust that God will always be there for us through our sad times.  With the passing of time, God will make known to you the things you didn’t see while you were in the relationship, things that will become clearer in the near future.  In the meantime, offer your suffering to God.  When you feel the sorrow of your loss, you might pray  “ Jesus, I offer this heartbreak and pain to you”, knowing that you will never be abandoned by Him.  You will always be special in God’s eyes for His love is eternal.  May the Lord be with you always.  – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

If one is told by their doctor that it is high risk for them to become pregnant, and it could harm them or a future child because of the condition and medications treating this condition, is it okay to use a barrier method of birth control, not abortive methods like the pill, but barrier methods in conjunction with NFP to insure that the women will not become pregnant?  Thank you so much for your time.

Dear Lynn:

If this is a life threatening health situation, one would be prudent to avoid endangering herself by pregnancy.  But you do not make clear what that person would want to use as a  “barrier” to prevent this.  This is an important consideration.

It would be wise to talk with a parish priest about this dilemma because not enough information was supplied for CatholicView to make judgment.  I am sure the priest would want to sit down with the person and talk in depth about her physical condition in order to discuss proper methods of birth control.  God bless you.  – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I was married for 21 years and I am in the process of filling out papers to hopefully have my marriage annulled.  I am also wanting to take Catechism classes in September.   Will I be able to start those without having my marriage annulled, because I have been told that it take up to18 months to get this processed? – Regina

Regina:

It is heartening to see that you are looking forward to being baptized and want to start moving in that direction.  Of course you can take the Catechism classes while you wait for your annulment to come through if you have started the annulment process and have been informed there is no impediments to receiving it.

Why not check with your parish priest as he is familiar with what is happening with your annulment?   - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I am confused about a problem in my life and need some advice.  Recently, an elderly neighbor of mine (who has always been friendly to me) startled me when all of a sudden she became extremely mean and accused me of very odd things.  This sounds funny, but she is blaming me for throwing food at her house

To be honest with you, I have never had anyone talk to me in such a cruel way.  She spoke poorly about my family which really hurt my feelings.  During this, I told her that I think she hates me and that she should seek professional help immediately.

Well, my father called her daughter because he was concerned about her and the daughter pretty much said she couldn’t care less.  My question is, I feel horrible that I told this lady she needs help.   A part of me wants to apologize to her even though I did nothing wrong.    What would you advise me to do?  Should I apologize in a letter or leave the woman alone?    If you could please give me your heartfelt opinion, I would appreciate it!  Thanks so very much. - Joanna

Dear Joanna:  

CatholicView certainly sympathizes with you concerning your neighbor who has suddenly become unfriendly to you.  Understand that it is not your fault that this change in attitude has taken place.  Sometimes elderly people become sick with Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia and do not realize what they are saying or recognize friends, neighbors, or even relatives.  Unfortunately the lady’s daughter is unfeeling toward her mother.  This is a sad situation and hopefully the neighbor’s other relatives become aware of her shift in personality and take the proper steps concerning this lady’s health and wellbeing.

You did nothing wrong.  If you can do so, ignore her mean manner.  She cannot know or understand this change in her personality so talking to her is meaningless.  She needs the immediate care and attention of health care professionals. If there is no family member to notify, call the social services in your area and report this sad problem.  They will investigate and proper steps will be taken.  May God bless you for caring about your neighbor.  We hope there will be a resolution as soon as possible.  – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:
 
Years ago I had an abortion. I want to repent and ask the Lord to forgive me.  I'm afraid if I go to confession I will be asked to leave being that Catholics who have abortions are excommunicated from the Church. Will this happen or will my confession be accepted? Thank you. Gabrielle

Dear Gabrielle:

CatholicView can understand your fears concerning confession and forgiveness.  First of all, you must remember that our Savior, Jesus Christ, died for all our sins including abortion.  As a Christian Catholic, you have made a very bad mistake in doing this.  Can you be forgiven?  YES YOU CAN!   But only if you are truly repentant and make a promise to God that this mortal sin will never be repeated.

Our God is a loving and all forgiving God.  He wants you back in His favor.  Reconcile yourself with the Church by going to confession and talking to your parish priest to explain fully the details of your abortion, expressing the great sorrow that you feel.   I am sure your priest will be able to help you.  Start now by praying hard, asking the Lord to forgive this sin.  Know that in getting forgiveness, you must move on, living in the present and not the past.  Put this sin behind you and go forth to serve God, now and forever.  Hope this helps you.  – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:,

My girlfriend and I have decided to wait until we are married to have sex.  However we are unsure about the Catholic beliefs in this area. What is considered sex before marriage?   Is any sexual contact allowed? This may seem a strange question, but it is something we would both like to know. As it is very tough doing nothing, especially when we are together five years now. Is oral sex allowed? – Rob

Dear Rob:

Oral sex is still considered a sexual sin and it is not allowed.  It is a mortal sin, because it is out of the context of marriage.  It is also wrong because it causes the sperm of the male to be deposited in a place that does not allow for the procreative act.

Any act leading to sexual intercourse is a strong occasion of sin.  Even though this activity is not actual sexual intercourse, it is against the law of God.  It is advised that you talk to your parish priest concerning these issues.  And consult the Church about moving your marriage to the near future.   God bless you always.  - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Will it upset God if I got a tattoo?  If not is it ok to get a dragon tattoo or is any kind of tattoo frowned upon? – Hany

Dear Hany:

I think your will find your answer to this question answered by Father Phil Bloom, Pastor of Holy Family Church in Seattle, Washington at this link.:  http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/2964/catholicmoraliyquestions.html.

The answer reads:  “Tatoos are okay, if done for a proper motive. A proper motive could be the desire to be more beautiful for one’s spouse or for people in general. However, that would have to be balanced against other things - the great cost, possibility of bodily harm and the very real danger of doing it for bad motives (to be a sex object, etc.) I am constantly amazed that girls who are so beautiful just by a smile think they have to do extraordinary things to be attractive. It's our terrible culture that twists people's minds.  Hope this helps.  CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Must I tell the Superiors of my religious order that another incoming postulant has had sex, may be pregnant, and has confessed but not sought spiritual direction? – Christine

Christine:

Yours is an unusual question.  Please pray for the incoming postulant because if she is pregnant she will not be able to hide it in the coming months.  CatholicView believes with time, this matter will resolve itself without your intervention.  However if you feel strongly about this, by all means inform your Superiors of your religious order about this existing situation.  CatholicView Staff 

JULY 2005

FATHER KEVIN BATES
FATHER AMARO SAUMELL
CATHOLICVIEW STAFF
 

Dear Father:

I have suffered from Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) all of my adult life.  My OB/GYN wants to put me on a low-dose BCP to help with the symptoms.  The problem is that I will be getting married in a couple of months and know that BCPs can, in rare instances, cause spontaneous miscarriages - which goes against all I believe in (I am VERY pro-life).

I know that taking BCP for a medical condition such as mine is okay since it's NOT for birth control (I really want to have children), but I just can't bring myself to take this medication because of the POSSIBLE effects.  I know there are other medications I can take to help with my condition, but my doctor wants to try BCPs first.  I can't change doctors because of my HMO.  How can I convince my doctor that my RELIGIOUS beliefs are enough of a reason to NOT take BCP?  My HMO says that my religious beliefs are NOT enough of a reason to change doctors.  HELP! - Kara

Dear Kara:

Thank you for your question.  It goes to the heart of our relationship with ourselves, each other and with our God.  The purpose of an action is central to its morality and the central purpose of your taking a BCP is to regularize your body's functions so that you can successfully conceive and give birth in the future and remain healthy.  God never asks the impossible of us, and being pro-life, it is a many-layered commitment.  The unlikely risk of a miscarriage has to be weighed against the longer-term good that you will receive from the treatment, the good of your marriage and, please God your children that will result from this treatment.  Given that you are trapped a bit because of your HMO arrangements, and given your generous and life-giving spirit, I think you can put your trust in God, who places great trust in you to make a good decision in this matter.  Blessings for a happy wedding and marriage, Father Kevin

Dear Father

I'm in my 70's, but since my days as a young adult when I would see a pretty and shapely woman I would fantasize having sex with her. I would never actually have sex  since I love my wife and family too much.   It was just mental entertainment and I would confess that this thinking was venial sins, but when the scripture was read at Sunday Mass where Jesus is speaking to His apostles about adultery in which He said that just thinking about having sex with another woman is the same as doing it, this makes me wonder if these were mortal sins and that I should re-confess them as such.  Can you enlighten me, please? - Buzz

Hi Buzz:

It's marvelous that in your 70's you still delight in God's beauty in admiring the beauty of women.  It's also marvelous that you are faithful in your marriage and love your wife and family before everyone else.  God made us the way we are and understands perfectly our desires, distractions and lapses.  I don't think He'd be too fussed about whether your wayward looks were mortal or venial - in fact I think He'd be glad that you are examining your heart to make sure that your heart stays true.  Keep enjoying your older age and know how deeply God trusts you with the wonderful gift of your sexuality. - Father Kevin

Dear Father:

My question is about the bible verse that says "do not be unequally yoked".  When I was a Protestant, this verse was really stressed in that you do not marry a non-Christian.   In the Catholic Church, I never hear this verse mentioned in any context.  I am dating a man who believes in the Jewish God and likes to brag that he doesn't need a mediator between him and God and that he doesn't believe in Jesus' divinity. My questions are (1) how do I respond about the mediator part and (2) How does the Church interpret “do not be unequally yoked”? Thanks much. - Laura

Dear Laura:

I must say I don’t know that text you are quoting.  What I do know is that God longs to engage with every person from every culture and religion.  Jesus is not so much a mediator, but is rather God’s actual presence among us since He is God's Son, the second Person of the Trinity.  So the Mediator question is a distraction really.  We can relate directly with God  - the God of all religions and cultures.  Jesus simply gives that God a face and voice and story that we can relate to on our own terms.  So we relate directly with God in Jesus.  He is not a Mediator but rather God's ultimate expression of love among us. This is the wonder of the Incarnation.

As for being yoked to someone from a different tradition:  Often religious groups played this line pretty hard to protect their patch from perceived “enemies” or competition.  Really, love takes us where it will and as St. John reminds us, whoever knows love also knows God.  So wherever true love is found, God will never be far away no matter what culture we belong to and no matter what nickname we use to describe what God is like!  I celebrate about fifty weddings each year, and a high percentage of them would be between Christians of different traditions, and often enough there is a partner from another religious tradition other than one of our Christian communities.  This certainly involves an extra challenge for a couple.  When both parties share the one faith there is much to celebrate and much faith to share in common.  A marriage that is “unequally yoked” obviously requires a greater faith-commitment and a greater level of care from the Church community for the couple, always respecting the tradition of each party.  God does not take our differences and man-made divisions as seriously as we so often do!  All good wishes, Father Kevin

FATHER AMARO SAUMELL

Father:

What "yardsticks" do moral theologians use to determine if a sin is mortal or venial? For example, based on what I learned growing up, EVERY sexual sin is mortal, even thinking about something sexual is. On the other hand, even though gluttony is one of the "cardinal sins," no one (to my knowledge) ever says that an obese person, who may have abused his body over years of junk food and even hastened his death, is a "mortal sinner." Why is a single sexual sin in the heat of passion mortally sinful, but years of gluttony isn't? Who makes these decisions? – Walter

Dear Walter,

The three elements if deciphering a “mortal sin” are grave act, sufficient reflection, and consent of the will. Merely having a thought occur is only temptation. Entertaining the thought for pleasure can be sinful when it is deliberate.  Something that has become habit may not be a mortal sin, for it does not contain reflection. I for my part, do not dabble in judging as to whether someone else’s sins are mortal or not. For, in doing that, I commit one of the most blasphemous of sins, which is “playing God.” I only look to my own acts of sinfulness and consider my own deliberation and consent of the will. And even then, I can only come up with a “moral certitude,” which is the certitude of reason. But even my own reason may be faulty. I leave the absolute certitude to the only One who can be absolute... and that is God. Sin stands on its own.

One sin can never be compared to another, for all sin is grievous to God. Sexual genital behavior is always inappropriate outside of marriage. It is the explicit privilege of those who use it as a giving experience, open to the life that deserves a stable home. Other sexual behaviors objectify a human person, but strips away the qualities of what actually makes God’s creation human. It often is self serving rather than self giving and can be a sin against charity. If it is a masterbatory act, it take imagination to cause a fantasy for stimulation, the fantasy itself strips away personality, intellect, and responsible giving from the imagined object, demeaning God’s intention for the human person and is also an act against creation.

So don’t be trying to rationalize sin or comparing one sin against another. You know something is as in if it contradicts God’s intention. And don’t make the mistake of projecting our fallen nature on God as if he created it. So often, people say “God made me this way...” That’s ludicrous, of course. God gave us the ability to move beyond compulsion, unless we are sick of course. And sickness is an effect of original sin that eventually takes our lives. That is exactly the fallen nature that Jesus restores through his sacrifice, resurrection, and forgiveness to those who ask for it in earnest.  Hope this helps.   God bless, Father Amaro

Father:

I am Jewish, and I have a question.  One thing that you and I share in our faiths is a belief in a temporary punishment or "cleansing" for good people not ready for heaven.  We call it Gehinom; you call it Purgatory.  My question is where does the basis of purgatory come from?   Are there places in the Old Testament or New Testament that talk of people being temporarily cleansed for their sins instead of burning forever?  I can't find any.   Thanks! -  Daniel

Dear Daniel,

Before the destruction of the temple, the scriptures used by the Jewish community were a little different than today. Eventually, they were all translated into Hebrew from their original language. The older version is referred to as the Septuagint. The newer version, formulated after 70 A.D. are referred to as the”Hebrew Scriptures.” Among the Septuagint scriptures, you will find the two books of Maccabees. You might be familiar with the stories, for that is where your celebration of Hanukkah comes from. But you’ll also find the expression of the Hebrew people in praying for the dead.

2 Macc 12:43] He (Judas) then took up a collection among all his soldiers, amounting to two thousand silver drachmas, which he sent to Jerusalem to provide for an expiatory sacrifice. In doing this he acted in a very excellent and noble way, inasmuch as he had the resurrection of the dead in view;   for if he were not expecting the fallen to rise again, it would have been useless and foolish to pray for them in death.  But if he did this with a view to the splendid reward that awaits those who had gone to rest in godliness, it was a holy and pious thought.
Thus he made atonement for the dead that they might be freed from this sin.

In the New Testament we find reflection of the purgative state in the scripture such as these:

1 Cor 3:13,15) - Every man's work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man's work of what sort it is. (15) If any man's work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss; but he himself shall be saved, yet so as by fire. (the fire is the purification of Purgatory).

 [Rev 21:27]...but nothing unclean will enter it, nor anyone who does abominable things or tells lies.

[Mat 5:25] Settle with your opponent quickly while on the way to court with him. Otherwise your opponent will hand you over to the judge, and the judge will hand you over to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison.
[Mat 5:26] Amen, I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.

[Mat 12:32] And whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven; but whoever speaks against the holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come."

The name “Purgatory” is a later description of cleansing and purification. You might relate it to many of the rituals that symbolize it in your Jewish culture. Your purification rituals are very telling, meaningful, and beautiful.

In Catholicism purgatory is not a place but a state of being in purification as a believer enters heaven.   Hope this clarifies it all for you.  God bless, Fr. Amaro

Father Amaro:

There is something about the “Our father” {lead us not in to temptation} that needs
to be explained to me.  I realize that God did mean that.  What does that part of the prayer mean? Thank you very much - Paul

Dear Paul,

Many phrases in scripture lose something in the translation. Try “lead us not into the trial” or “protect us from the trial.” It will make a lot more sense.  But the Greek translation, with the Christian idea of God as ALL GOOD, and the devil (Satan) as the source of evil, prays to the Father that He keep us away from the devil (trial).   God bless, Fr. Amaro

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

CatholicView Staff :

If Mary was a perpetual virgin, and she had more than one child, why are they not also worshiped? – Kelley

Dear Kelley:

In answer to your question, we do not worship Mary or any of her relatives.  We only worship God, the Father, God, the Son, and God, the Holy Spirit. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

 Should a homosexual take communion? Is it not a mortal sin?

 Chris:

A homosexual person can take communion.  Being homosexual is not in itself sinful, but to practice homosexuality is a sin.  Our Church teaches that to practice homosexuality is considered immoral and therefore a sin based on Scripture (Genesis 19 and 20:13, Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, and 1 Timothy 1:9-1).  Hope this helps.  CatholicView Staff

 Dear CatholicView Staff,

 I have been born into a Christian Community. I was baptized under the Greek Orthodox Church, however, ever since my childhood I have been ignorant with their ways and have sensed that I belong to the Catholic Church, since I have almost never attended an orthodox mass or witnessed any of their rites. Truth be told I am Catholic in every way, except officially I would like to become one.

 Dear Omar:

Congratulations on your faithfulness in wanting to be part of the Catholic Church.  The Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, commonly referred to as RCIA is the process designed for adults to enter the Catholic Church.  It is designed as a time of instruction and bonding with the community, culminating in receiving the sacraments of initiation and full membership in the Church.  This process sometimes includes baptism, confirmation, and the Eucharist, celebrated at the end of the process.

Talk to a local parish priest.  He will be most happy to guide you in this process.  May the Lord bless you. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

 My ex is having our baby and hates me with a passion.  I have never done anything wrong to her and have done everything for her and this baby.  She will not allow me to attend the birth or the baptism, because she says she hates how I look and the sound of my voice.  My question is can the baby be baptized without the father present, I mean I could understand if I was away somewhere and could not make it, but is it spiritually right to be banned and have my baby baptized without me there?  And would a priest still do the baptism without the father?  Patrick

 Patrick:

I am sorry to hear that you and you “ex” cannot come to terms concerning your innocent baby.  This is a sad issue at a time when there should be joy for the new life coming into the world.  

You do not say whether your “ex” refers to an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.   Nonetheless, the Catholic Church would need a letter of affirmation and permission from the father of the child for the Rite of Baptism.

If you were married, I am sure you realize that you are financially responsible for the welfare of your child by law.  If you were not married, the mother of the child would still expect you to be financially responsible for your baby's needs and the law would demand it.

You say you are both Catholic.  If the mother does not want you to attend the baptismal service, I would concede to her wishes.  Our bible calls for mercy and letting go instead of vengeance.  You might want to read Romans 12:19 which tells:  “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay’ says the Lord.”  The main and most important thing is that your child is baptized.  This is what you would want, what is most vital even though you would not be allowed to attend.  Read Luke 6:28:  “Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you”.   

Even though your “ex” feels bitter towards you, think about the good of the child.  Think how pleased the Lord will be.  I believe you would want this, in spite of what the mother feels about you.  So do not deny your baby this important sacrament because of what has transpired between you. THIS BAPTISM IS FOR THE CHILD.  You do not want ill feelings to impair your baby's love for you.  Please think about giving your approval for your child's sake and pray that the mother’s feelings will change.   Someday, with God’s help you will hopefully be allowed to visit and share your baby's life. May the Lord give you peace and clarity on your situation.   May God’s grace be sufficient to carry you through this difficult time. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Is it OK to throw away a solicitation (received in the mail ) that depicts a picture of Jesus, Mary or Saint, or does it need to be burned, buried, etc?  - Bill

Dear Bill:

Thank you for writing to CatholicView.  Solicitations sent through the mail are pieces of paper that can be thrown away.  There is no need to burn or bury printed pictures.  As Christian Catholics, we have the real thing.  Solicitations are not holy or blessed objects.  Hope this helps. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I have a relative who lives in Montreal. She told me that in the Roman Catholic Churches in Quebec they have Wardens who run the churches.  I live in Mass. and I have never heard of Wardens in the Catholic Church.  I also have relatives in Nova Scotia and they also don't have Wardens. What are Wardens and how did they originate?  Why don't all Catholic parishes have them? - Cynthia

Cynthia:

Based on the Church of England model of parish administration, a group of parishioners are elected by the congregation as a parish board of directors that run and control everything from money to job descriptions of the priests assigned to the parish.  Wardens also TELL the bishop what kind of priest they want and they are the ones who decide whether that priest should come to their parish.   They also have the authority to hire and fire a priest.  This model of parish administration in the Catholic Church is very rare and only rarely practiced in countries influenced by the Anglican (Church of England) model, such as Canada and the United Kingdom.  The Roman Catholic Church does not accept this model of administration since it takes away from the diocesan bishop's complete and total authority. There was an attempt in the USA to use this model of administration on a limited level.  It was called Parish Councils.  To this day, some parishes have this form of pastoral administration.  More parishes have a pastoral advisory council that ONLY ADVISE (no real authority) the pastor in what direction and mission the parish should go to proclaim the gospel of Christ in their neighborhood.  Other parishes have no such input from parishioners.  It all depends on the local diocesan bishop's form of leadership.   According to canon law, the bishop has complete authority on how to administrate his diocese.  The BIG problem with the warden model is that truth is not based on personal opinion or by democratic vote.  Truth is eternal and based on the Word of God and the teaching traditions of the church passed down to us from the apostles.  There have been times in which church board of directors claim to have a "market" on the truth and may even "fire" a priest for saying the truth.  In the Catholic Church, only the bishop can remove a pastor or a priest for serious reason such as teaching heresy or serious misconduct. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I have a history of scrupulous thinking and recently I went to confession and received communion afterward.  But before receiving communion I asked the priest if the communion would be a sacrilege. Did I commit any sin by asking that question? Thank you. - Ronald

 Dear Ronald:

To ask a priest a question is not a sin.  By virtue of his position as a holy leader and shepherd, we honor his knowledge and commitment.  If you went to confession and was told you could take communion, there is no reason to doubt that taking this sacrament was wrong. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Please enlighten me if this practice is considered a liturgical abuse or not.

A guest priest presided a First Friday Holy Mass in our Office and before the Holy Communion he announced that we would be receiving the Holy Eucharist in two species all by ourselves, while he was seated in front of the altar.

 My husband and I partook of the Holy Communion with some questions in our hearts. My husband approached the priest after the mass and asked why this practice? The priest just answered that Vatican II allowed the receiving of the communion either by the hand or by the mouth. We were not convinced by his answer. All we know is that the scripture says, Christ broke the break and GAVE IT to his disciples . . . the scriptures did not say it in other way.

If this is a liturgical abuse, how can I correct our priest without sounding too much of an “authority”? - Angie

Dear Angie:

The "practice" as you described, "self-communication," is a liturgical abuse.  You are correct in stating that Christ GAVE His Body and Blood in Holy Communion.  How can you correct this priest from his liturgical abuse?  Confront him and tell him yourself.  Otherwise, you can write to the local bishop (the diocesan bishop) and share with him your concerns.  All you have to do is look up the rubrics (the red lettered directions in the Mass Missal) that say that a priest or deacon or in extraordinary situations, an extraordinary minister or installed acolyte, are able to distribute Holy Communion.  I really find it difficult when I read or hear about such blatant liturgical abuses.  CatholicView Staff 

CatholicView Staff:

If I am serving my country in the Army, and kill some enemies in combat will I go to hell? – James

Dear James:

The fifth commandment states that you shall not murder (the real translation).  In the Old Testament, there are numerous stories in which the people of Israel went into battle to defend their lands and families, or by God's Will,  take land that was promised them by God.  War which is justified because it is needed for defense of one's country, home, or family is a "necessary evil."  So, if you belong to the U.S. Army, for example, acting in your own self defense is not sinful and no one goes to hell because they killed another human being in self-defense.  Being in the military brings its own responsibilities.  One must always be aware that one is following a "just"order and not an immoral one (the U.S. Military Code of Justice states this), that the taking of life has to be the last option left for a soldier.  Remember, in a battle or war situation, when I am forced to defend myself, I am also defending my fellow soldiers as well.  Being a Christian and being a soldier are not necessarily opposites.  Jesus Himself on several occasions dealt with the Roman soldiers during His earthly ministry and at no time did He ever preach to them to leave the military and leave behind their military life.  On the contrary, He cured a servant of a centurion and said of this centurion that He could not find faith like this centurion had in all of Israel --- and the centurion was a non-believer!  See Matthew 8:5.  So, be at peace.   Serve God and your country without fear!  Taking human life is always the last option.  Protecting life in general is always our priority.  CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

Explain how Christians today can show discipleship? - Rosalyn

Dear Rosalyn:

This is a very good and vital question.  See Matthew 28:19 which reads:  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…”  As Christians we are all disciples.  Jesus asks us to go as His disciples and spread the gospel as He left this earth and ascended into heaven.    

An essential action of true discipleship is the willingness to invite others to follow the Lord Jesus and our readiness to explain His Gospel.  We can do this through our actions and by our words.  One does not have to be a priest to be a true disciple of Christ.  We are all called.  We can be Ministers of the Eucharist, deacons, ushers, work in the church office, perhaps provide food for the poor.   There are many ways we can work for the Lord.  You may have a special talent such as singing so you might join the choir.  God gave us many such talents to use for His glory.  Find one that suits you.  God bless you on your journey of discipleship. – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I am someone with Bipolar and Obsessive-Compulsive and I have been told that I probably would not be able to be a priest because of this. How can I devout my life to God in service even though I can't be a priest? - Michael

 Michael:

You can serve God by spreading the message of the salvation we find in Jesus Christ.  A Christian doesn't have to be an ordained deacon, priest, or bishop because we all called to discipleship.  We can all serve the Lord in various ways.  Since you are struggling with Bipolar and Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies or disorders, you could bring hope to those who struggle with you in gaining control over their lives.  Reach out and support those who need someone to understand them and accept them as they fight to gain peace of mind and soul.  By listening and even praying with people like yourself, together you will find mental and emotional stability that we all want.  With Jesus, anything is possible.   With Jesus, hope springs from our hearts to give us strength to overcome our personal obstacles.  Prayer calms the anxious heart and mind and quiets the soul.  You can make a personal commitment to the Lord and say to God that you will serve Him in others who need your support and help.  May the Lord bless you in your efforts to serve Him with all your heart.  CatholicView Staff

CatholicView Staff:

I am sort of a "fallen Catholic"   I have been looking for God again.  Problem is, a person I know is trying to talk me out of going back to my church and joining theirs.  It is a "Christian" church.  They say the bible I am reading is wrong.  I am so confused!!!  I am looking for God but do not know where to turn.  Please help! – Mary

Mary:

Ask God to show you the way “home”.  Pray.  Do not let others influence you even though they are well meaning.  It is you who must decide as it will be you who will stand in judgment before God.  So you need to choose how YOU want to serve the Lord.  Go and talk to your parish priest.  He will hear you out and make suggestions to you.  If the Catholic Church is where you want to be, start worshipping there.  If not, ask God to show you where you should be.  May you find the peace of our Lord in your heart and May He guide you to the right decision.  - CatholicView

CatholicView Staff:

I am a Catholic who is engaged to a divorced non-catholic but plan to marry in the church (she has no problems with any requirements).  We have been together for 4 years and have known each other over 10 years.  The wedding is 16 months away.  The problem is that she has to sell her current house and is buying a new one - which will be our new home so I will be sharing expenses.  Financially it is too difficult to maintain my apartment and the mortgage of this new home for 16 months (the wedding is November 2006. 

My question is whether it is considered a sin for me to move into this new home with her prior to the wedding?  Even if I renew the lease on the apartment, that will expire in July 20006, meaning I would probably then have to move into the new house for at least 3 months prior to the wedding.  Financially it is beneficial to move in now - but I do not want to jeopardize getting  married in the church.  Does the church allow couples to live together prior to wedding if they will be getting married and are going into the situation with the knowledge that they will be getting married?  - Chris

Dear Chris:

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.  It is a very special  and beautiful sacrament that is worth waiting to receive.

Our faith tells us to avoid the occasion of sin.  To move into a house with your loved one is inviting sin.  I am sure you realize the impossibility of such an arrangement between two single people in love.  So my answer would be NO, you cannot in good conscience live in such close proximity with your loved one