PREVIOUS QUESTIONS

JULY 2003

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

 

CatholicView Staff:

If you have your ears pierced or even belly button, does that make you a bad Catholic? Is it against the religion?  Thanks for your help.  Paige

Dear Paige:

Ear piercing is widely accepted today and carries no offensive baggage.  There are some conditions however.  Body piercing must not signify anything that is Satanic, cultic, or gang affiliated.  There is nothing wrong in having your ears pierced or however painful, even a belly button piercing.  No sin is associated with these practices.  Body art has been practiced in every culture.  In the Old Testament, such body art was always associated with pagan cults.  Therefore, the Hebrew people were forbidden to have body art since it represented that they were worshiping false gods.  Today, most body art is not associated with cultic practices.   God bless, CatholicView Staff 



CatholicView Staff:

My wife left me two weeks ago.  We have been married for 5 years and married at a catholic church. Towards the last 5 months we have been arguing constantly.  She works and I have two jobs and between us are able to get what our children need.  However, she began to act very cold toward me and refused to have a sexual relationship in the last months.  We fought constantly but she insisted she was not having an affair.  I was raised in a home where God is very important in our lives.  I am afraid to break this promise of marriage we made to God.   I have not cheated on her but there have been several occasions where my wife has lied to me and done things behind my back.  She has agreed to counseling.  Can you give me any advice?  Francisco

Dear Francisco:

Your problems are multiple.  Rather than prolonging this estrangement that might prove irreparable, you need to seek “sit down” help to find out how to perhaps undo whatever caused you and your wife to grow so far apart. From your letter it seems you and your wife are both valiantly trying to earn money that you need for the family upkeep.  But, sometimes, in trying to do this, you do not have time to spend with each other.   This can cause a strain in the close intimacy you used to share.  Divorce is a very serious step and must be taken only after other avenues have been explored such as marriage counseling and marriage retreats.  Please do not delay in getting the help you need.  Call your parish priest immediately and set up an appointment to see him.  May God help you to find your way back to the peace and joy the Lord wants you to have.  God bless.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView Staff:

I have not been Catholic for about 15 years now, and would like to come back"home".  I was baptized Catholic, but never confirmed. How can I go about this, and must I have baptism records to accomplish this?  I am 39, and it was 38 years ago that I was baptized, in Cleveland, Ohio.  Once I start the process, how long will it take for me to be recognized as a Catholic? Thank you! Anthony

 

Dear Anthony:

In order to rededicate yourself as a Catholic you must see your local parish priest.    He will secure your baptismal records from your former church in Cleveland, Ohio if at all possible.  But, first steps first.  Set up an appointment with your parish priest.  He will guide you through this process.

Once you go over all that is necessary for your confirmation he will be able to tell you how long the full process will take.  God has blessed you with a strong desire to return “home”.  May He give you the courage and strength to continue on your way in your quest for Him.   May God be with you always.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView Staff:       

Hello.  My question is about the saints who spent 20 years alone in the desert to learn about GOD, they didn’t see anyone else so obviously didn’t go to Mass on Sunday so didn’t they live in a state of mortal sin according to the Catholic faith, and would be in Hell?  So why should we pray to them in Hell?  Also Jesus went for 40 days in the desert and didn’t come in every week for temple so according to the Catholic church He was sinning !!   I disagree and think it is not a mortal sin if a person does not go to Mass every Sunday.  People need time to be alone sometimes too.  Eileen

Eileen:

The Catholic Church has set guidelines for sins it feels are mortal or venial and are very vocal on this issue.  But God is the final judge of whether we spent eternity in Hell for omission to attend Mass.  For instance, the Saints who spent 20 years learning about and in union with God would not be committing a mortal sin because they did not go to Mass.  They were making a sacrifice to learn more about God.  This is not the same as simply saying to oneself  “I don’t want to go to Mass today”.  In spending 40 days and nights in the desert in communion with the Heavenly Father, Jesus was worshipping God in the highest order, and setting an example of fasting and prayer that even today cannot be equaled.  Jesus, the Son of God, was a perfect Being, without sin or blemish.   It is He Who has given us salvation and the right to eternal life.  We, as believing Christians go to Mass to sustain, rededicate ourselves and partake of the Body of Christ.   When we miss Mass we break a tie that is necessary to us as Christians.  There are times when we are ill or something vital happens and we cannot go to Mass.  God understands this and we do not go to Hell because of this but seek to make amends for missing our Sabbath.  Hope this helps.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:               

We are adopting a daughter from Korea and would like to Christen her in a traditional Korean Hanbok.  Traditional  Hanboks are very colorful. We have a white Hanbok, but it is decorated in pink flowers with gold leafing (very decorated).  Are there any protocols for Christening outfits?  Many thanks.  Jessica

Dear Jessica:

There are the traditional outfits for Catholic baptisms and they are usually white and represent the purity of being without sin.  You need to talk to your priest who will be actually be performing the baptism to get his view on what is necessary.  I am sure this can worked out to your mutual satisfaction.  Congratulations on your adoption.  May God bless your “new” family member always.  CatholicView Staff 





 

CatholicView:                
 
I have believed in the existence of God since childhood but was just baptized last month. The reason why I became a Catholic is a friend of mine told me that God is my real Father (Not adoptive), whether God or I try to reject it. I suddenly fell in love with God after my baptism. I could describe Him as nice, “smart”, creative, interesting, honest, truthful and especially always full of patience. He is always very kind to me, even kinder than my biological parents are.  A friend of mine (also my Godmother) told me that God told the Hebrews to stone adulterous women, ignoring the sufferings of their biological relatives. I asked her if God loved them and she said He did but He had to be just, and He is still just when He punishes us for all sins no matter if we confess them (She said the church teaches so). That grieves me a lot.  I had never thought that this “dearest Person” would hurt, neglect or be angry with me. I am often awake and cry all nights in fears of being abandoned. It is also incomprehensible to me that God would tell people to stone his own daughters.  Please tell me what you think.  Thank you.  Penny

Dear Penny:

God does not abandon us.  Because of our free will we often abandon Him.  He is our Creator and as such, He is our Heavenly Father.  Since God is a forgiving God, whenever we commit a sin we must go to Him and confess that sin and He will forgive us.  He loves us so much that He sent His Son Jesus to die for us in order that we have that right to His forgiveness.  So He is a just and loving God. 

With the coming of Jesus, a new way was created for us as believers.  No longer do we worry about being stoned for our transgressions for Jesus paid the price for our sins.  Because of His great love He is always with us and we will never be left alone.  The only thing God wants is that we believe, live a decent life and go forth in faith.  As long as we follow in the path He has set for us, we built a relationship that will last not only through this life but through eternity.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

I am Obsessive-Compulsive and make vows that I will go to hell if I don't do something a certain way. For example, I vowed to the Holy Spirit that I would burn in hell if I went with my family to the Adirondacks(NY) this summer. Now I feel compelled to stay and I really want to go. Should I feel liable for these vows and follow them or are they useless?  Michael Fannon

Dear Michael:

God created you and understands that you are Obsessive-Compulsive.  This is not your fault.  Because of your condition, you say or do things that you later regret.  You must ask God to help you restrain the urge to make these vows and ask Him to forgive your transgressions.  Go and talk this matter out with your parish priest.  He will be able to suggest how you can avoid this occasion of sin.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

How do you live with someone and see that they do wrong everyday to people and not judge them?   I know it's wrong to judge. Is it wrong to try and help someone change?  Linda

Dear Linda:

It is sometimes hard not to tell someone that they are at fault in dealing with others.  It is not wrong to want to help someone close to you to be a better person but many times they will not accept your help.  But you can be an example.  Try to show that person by your own actions the right way to relate to others.  If you act in a Christ-like way, the other person may understand and see the right way to treat other people.  Don’t forget to pray and ask God to soften this person’s heart so that it can be open to God’s goodness.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

I am divorced and now remarried. My wife and I attend church and have became parishioners. Can I receive communion like I did in the past when I regularly went to church?  - Craig

Dear Craig:

You do not say how your first marriage was terminated.  Until you sit down with your parish priest to determine whether your first marriage was annulled and your new marriage was sanctioned by the Church you cannot receive communion.   You must see your parish priest to sort these issues out.  May God bless you and give you the courage to set your life in order.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

What specific days in 2004 can marriage ceremonies NOT be performed? Thanks.  Pam


Dear Pam:

You cannot be married on any Holy Day of Obligation, Ash Wednesday or from Holy Thursday to Easter Sunday.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

Years ago I confessed an abortion. I did not confess the part behind the abortion. The part that has recently come to light is a lie about who the father of the child was to a doctor friend of the "alleged" father who gave me counsel at the time. When I confessed the abortion, did the confession cover all aspects of the sinfull behavior or do I need to re-confess the new parts of the sin which have recently come to light in my soul?  Norma


Dear Norma:

You need to make an appointment with your priest to determine these issues.  Just to be sure that your soul is not in danger.  You will feel better if you can sit down and talk about this matter.  May God bless you always.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

I am a cradle Catholic and have been taught that my moral duties are first to God, then family, then society/government.  A friend asked me today where this order came from.  I did not know.  I could not find it referenced in The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  I think it came from a Saint (perhaps Thomas Aquinas).  Can you tell me the source?  Thank you for your time and consideration.  Sincerely, Lisa

  

Dear Lisa:

What you are referring to can be found in the Ten Commandments in Exodus Chapter 20 in the Old Testament.   In the first three commandments, the Lord God is first in the order.  Then family comes in the fourth commandment, followed by laws of our society and government.    (1) I am the Lord thy God. You shall not have strange gods before me.  (2) You shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.  (3)   Remember to keep the Sabbath Day.   (4)   Honor thy Father and thy Mother.   (5) You shall not kill. (6) You shall not commit adultery.  (7)   You shall not steal.  (8)  You shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor.  (9) You shall not covet thy neighbor's wife. (10)    You shall not covet thy neighbor's goods.

Hope this helps.   CatholicView Staff





FATHER PETER AUER

June 2003



Father Peter:

What is the Church's position on Catholic attendance at churches of other denominations?  My question comes for a client of mine whose mother told him that he should not attend any service that isn’t Catholic.  I work in a residential treatment facility for delinquent youths and the only worship service available to the residents is a Christian Reformed service.  I responded by telling him that this is not the Church's position.  Am I in error? Could you please provide a citation from the Catechism of the Catholic Church that would answer this question? Thanks and God bless - Joe

Dear Joe,

This is a matter of Ecumenism, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church writes in # 821  “prayer in common, because "change of heart and holiness of life, along with public and private prayer for the unity of Christians, should be regarded as the soul of the whole ecumenical movement, and merits the name 'spiritual ecumenism;'" - there is a reference to the document Unitatis Redintegratio ( http://www.ewtn.com/library/COUNCILS/v2ecum.htm ) which I suggest you read (it is not all that long).  And there is much to glean from.... 

As a Catholic, one can participate in other Christian worship - but not partake of their communion - since they do not possess the true Reality of the Presence of the Body and Blood of Christ.  In ordinary circumstances, when a Catholic goes to a Christian Church and participates in their worship, this does not take the place of the duty of a Catholic to participate in Catholic worship - in other words, one must still "go to Mass" and participate in a Catholic Mass.  In the case you presented, it would be good for the youngster to participate in this service - since it is a Christian service, and the only one available.  They DO have the WORD of God and Christ said: "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in their midst."  It builds a Christian Community - and the youngsters do need Christ more than anything else in their lives....  Father Peter



Father:

My husband of 23 years committed adultery. After a hard time conceiving we have a son 3 years old.  He brought a woman into our new home before we moved into it and now I cannot get myself to move to this house where she slept with him. I really want a divorce, but am afraid that my son will want his Dad when he gets older.  What should I do?  Thank you. – Charlene

Dear Charlene,

People are by no means perfect - and adultery is a very serious offense against God and spouse.  Yet that is what Christ came for - to save sinners....  and He does this by forgiving people's sins. 

 When you married your husband, you entered into a covenant by which you said: "I will love you and honor you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, until death does us part."  Your situation is a very sad situation, there is no doubt, but rededicate yourself to the vow which you have made some years ago.  Then get help - you and your husband - and talk with your local priest - have the house blessed, go and participate in Retrouvaille ( http://www.retrouvaille.org/ ) or any other marriage healing program - and make this marriage work; love is a decision - and you have decided to love him, even in 'bad times'.  And most of all: "please do forgive and forget;" whenever you think about what your husband has done - give that thought right-away to Mama Mary and place the thought, place your husband and that lady into the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  Then, let go of the thought.  Your decision to stick this out and pray through it, may save your spiritual life, that of your husband and will give a great example to your child.  I do not say that is easy, but trust in God and let Him do His work of grace in the life of your family.  God knows that you can carry this cross (it fits your shoulders) - still, you will need His assistance and grace - ask Him to teach you how to carry this cross and ask Him how to forgive.  God Bless, Father Peter.



Father Peter:

I am a Seventh Day Adventist and I attend church on Saturday.  My question is why do most Christians keep Sunday instead of the Sabbath?   I have always been told that the Catholic Church changed it.    If this is true who changed it and by what authority?  I am not one to believe blindly what I am told so I thought I would ask.  I would like to know when it happened and who changed  it.  Thank you so much.  Erin

Dear Erin:

Maybe I will just refer you to the Catechism of the Catholic Church and let you read it at your own leisure.  It is only a short section and it explains it far better than I ever could.  http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c1a3.htm#II.  Enjoy!  Father Peter



Father:

I was conceived by donor insemination on January 7, 1949 to an Italian Catholic family.  DNA tests were conclusive, but my 87 year old mother will not discuss the circumstances.  My non-biological father committed suicide in 1978 but he had a vasectomy in early 40's. Would this have been considered a sin? My mother is a devout catholic in a convenient way. Maybe the church's view on this is keeping her silent?  Any suggestions as to what I should do?  - Pat

Dear Pat,

The Catechism of the Catholic Church writes in # 2376: "Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child's right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses' "right to become a father and a mother only through each other."

"Donor insemination" means that the sperm was not the sperm of your mother's husband, and by this very fact, adultery has been committed.  This seems like a harsh reality, but this is the bottom line.  Despite all this, you have been conceived and you are God's blessing to all of us - you are a gift from God - as every person is!  Now, looking at a situation like yours, we do this with two things in mind: the sin and the sinner.  The deed itself  was 'gravely immoral' as the Catechism writes, yet we must never let mercy and love be withheld from the one who committed this deed - despite everything, your mother is your mother and you should always honor her, as the 4th Commandment teaches us.  And one day, God pleasing, you will meet your real father in heaven, and hopefully you will meet also the rest of your family.   Maybe God allowed this to happen, so that through your prayers and forgiveness, all people involved will be brought into heaven?  -   Father Peter



Father:

Why does God, Jesus, and Mary sound so egotistical sometimes? When they are asking us to love them and adore them that sounds very egotistical to me.  Thank you, Father. - Alice

Alice:

Honor your father and mother - is the 4th Commandment.  God IS our Father and we must honor Him and since He is also our God, we must also adore Him; Mary is our spiritual mother and we must show her reverence and devotion.  Like your own parents, who do love you - and you can never repay them for the gift of life, so God loves us and we can never repay Him for creating us.  Your parents love ought to be reciprocal or mutual - for that is what perfect love is: mutual giving of self. 

If you have ever been in love, you know what I mean - love is wonderful, because of the "being loved back" kinda thing.   If someone loves out of a selfish kind of motive, then it is not called 'love' any longer.  Christ showed us that He is not selfish at all - He even died for us so that we might have eternal life - but He does not force us to love Him - it is still a free choice on our part!  He said: "whoever loses his life, shall find it." (Mk 10:39)   There are many people who reject Christ and what He has done for us - it seems that Christ died in vain.  Still, He waits with open arms for the return of a sinner - He never rejects anyone who comes to Him.  And if someone chooses not to love Him, at the end of that person's life, Christ will confirm that person in his/her decision of selfishness - which then is called: hell - an absence of God and His love.  Father Peter



Father Peter:

I have always wondered about the order of positions in the catholic church; I have not been able to find the answer.   What comes after altar boy and so on, up to Pope?  Thank you. -  Curious Kat

Dear Kat,

There are the following:  Lector, Acolyte, Deacon, Priest, Bishop, (Archbishop), Cardinal, and Pope.  Hope this helps.  Father Peter.




CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

CatholicStaff:

Does God punish us for our sins?   Thanks for your time.  - Edith

Dear Edith:

You asked if God punishes us for our sins in your letter.  Absolutely!  Otherwise why be good, why worship a perfect God Who sent His only Son to die for these sins?  And most of all, why is there a heaven and a hell, if not to reward us for our lives of striving to live Christlike lives.  We cannot enter God's sinless kingdom if we have sins on our souls.  If we do not live according  to His laws we must face eternal damnation in hell.  Yes, we are judged and punished for our sins.  But the good news is God IS WILLING to forgive us if we ask for that forgiveness. - CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

Why is it that the church refuses to see and admit it failings when it is wrong? I was in a chatrrom with Fr. Amaro on June 16th and he asked the room to block me because I showed where the church had made it mistakes and I even apologize for my actions, but the Father refused to admit the wrongdoings of the church. I am Catholic and my family is one of the best families in our parish. You can look and see. My family and I belong to the Holy Name Parish of Columbus, Ohio. You can ask Msgr. Rusk about how my family is a big supporter of the church. My family's name is Damron and Stoltz. Is it wrong for a person to question some of his faith and question the people for whom does the teachings, or are most Catholics too unwilling to see how the church treated and misuse the people Christ asked the church to protect. This e-mail will not be read noe answered because you and the other will believe it is Catholic bashing instead of one man questioning his faith beliefs. – Charles

Dear Charles:

We have to admit our failings in order to follow in the footsteps of Christ.  Then we can ask for forgiveness and try to make amends.  No one is infallible.  We have to confess that we fell short of what God expects of us when we do not meet the standards God has set up for us to follow during these recent times as well as in past history.  

Now the Church is made up of human beings like you and I.  None of us is perfect.   Knowing this our leaders must strive to clean house if there are things that God does not allow.  Wrongdoing  must be routed out.  Our leaders are human and sometimes some let us down.  But it is our Catholic Faith that keeps us going, our faith in Jesus Christ as Lord, our belief that our Heavenly Father loves us that keeps us returning to His house of worship, even when our human leaders sometimes fail us. 

Remember there is good and evil in this world.  No one is perfect.  We must continue in our faith and try to make changes when wrongdoing happens.  Our faith does not come from man but from God.  And no one can take it away.

Let's pray that God intervenes and keep our dedicated priests strong in their paths, that they keep on giving God's message and living the lives that they promised on their ordination.  The good and worthy priests have given their lives to serve us.   There are good priests out there too who follow in the righteousness of Christ and these will triumph over the bad.

God wants us to question because He wants us to keep striving for truth and betterment of our beliefs.  So keep your faith.  Pray!  Continue to be loyal and supportive.  Ask God to show you the way to do this.  Pray that God protects the good people of His Church.  And try to make things better by serving Him and making the Church a place of clean and dedicated worship.  May God continue to bless and keep you. - CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

My husband & I are both practicing Catholics.  He has a number of female single friends most of which I have no problems with but he would like for them to stay with us when they come to town to visit or go to lunch with them.  I disagree and say it is inappropriate now that we are married. – April

Dear April:

You are absolutely right in your feelings that once married a man should no longer have ties to his unmarried female friends except in the most casual way.  Having his female friends over to your home is considered inappropriate and disrespectful especially since it causes you to feel uncomfortable.  Sit down and discuss this with your spouse and if you cannot come to an amicable agreement, make an appointment with your parish priest to discuss this vital issue.  CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

I was wondering if practicing some pagan rituals was wrong being that I am a Catholic.  I do not share in most of their beliefs.  Such as many Gods and Goddesses.  I know there is only one God.  I believe in the Ten Commandments and am a devoted Christian.  I was just wondering if doing "spells" for good is wrong.  Such spells as "the Protection Spell" or the "Spell to help heal the sick".  None of them mention the name of another type of God.  Or the "Spell to help relieve stress" that is used on oneself.  It's just words and I was wondering if it is a sin or not.  And for the spells that do mention different God and Godesses' names just changing them to Virgin Mary or God.  Is this wrong? - Ashley

Dear Ashley:

You asked CatholicView in "Ask a Priest": "I was wondering if practicing some pagan rituals was wrong being that I am a catholic".

In Exodus 20:2-4 God tell us "I am the Lord your God.  Thou shall not have any other gods before Me.  Thou shall not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth..." so it is most certainly wrong.  The Bible is clear on this.  To dress it up any other way is still wrong.  Paganism is NOT CHRISTIANITY.  Why not go and see your parish priest and put this question to him so that he can discuss and clarify it at length for you.

May you find the peace you seek on this subject and May God be with you always.

CatholicView Staff



CatholicView Staff:

I have an Anxiety & OCD Disorder.  I really don't want to take these meds.  I am also a recovering Alcoholic 14 Yrs and attend AA.  I just don't want the Lord to think badly of me because I am weak.  I take the meds as prescribed.  I am seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist and both are good men.  Please tell me if I still loved by GOD because of this mental disease. Please respond.  Thanks. - George.

Dear George:

It is not your fault that you are sick and in need of medication.  You are what God made you.  Because you love the Lord, He understands and is and always will be with you through your sickness and through all your problems with mental health.  He will never leave you alone to face these problems.  You are doing everything you can and God understands this.   God knows everything that is happening in your life and He loves you greatly.  Remember God sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for you and for all of us.  He knows we all have weaknesses and He will always come to us and give us the courage to keep going.  Know that each step we take He is right there carrying us through it all.  Keep on praying and never forget He knows you believe in Him and knows your faith.  May God bless you and keep you.  May He light your path with His Grace and His Goodness.  - CatholicView Staff



CatholicView Staff

My wife recently converted to Catholicism, and we had our marriage blessed by the Church.  A few weeks later my alcoholism got out of hand and she was unfaithful to our marriage.  I have since gone to AA and have been sober for one month (one day at a time, Sweet Jesus) However, she is filled with hate and resentment for me.  I am praying to our Lord, Jesus, and all the angels and saints to restore our Holy unity.  I know there's no answer save the will of our Lord, but could you possibly be of some consolation to me in this time of need? - Charles

Dear Charles:

All of us are imperfect beings.  We all make mistakes and that is why we have the Sacrament of Penance, which is for renewal and forgiveness.   It sounds like you are trying to amend your life.  You are to be congratulated for this and with the help of God you can make it through and find solace for yourself and those you love.  This is commendable.  But it seems both you and your wife could benefit from counseling as there are things that need to be addressed such as your part in this as well as her part in seeking comfort elsewhere.  Let us say a prayer together:   Lord, we are offering up your servant Charles for Your help.  He needs you during this period of his despair, when nothing seems to be working out for him.   He has made the first steps in his addiction to alcohol by staying away from drinking for one month.  Lord, he is facing a breakdown of his marriage and needs Your help on this also.  We know you can make a way even when there seems to be no way.  We know You can do anything if we ask in faith and if it is good for us.   Be his light during this dark time of his life.  We ask that you send your legions of angels to comfort him.  Your Son, Jesus Christ, told us to use His Name when asking for Your help and so we ask in the name of Jesus that you give Charles the courage he seeks.  Amen.  Please see your parish priest and talk this out.  There is an answer for you.  May God hold you always in the palm of His hand with loving peace.  - CatholicView Staff




FATHER PETER AUER

AND

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

MAY 2003

Father Peter:

I am at a midway point here. I disagree with my Catholic upbringing on Praying to Mary, the saints, the establishment of the Pope and basic core things that I am supposed to believe. If I disagree with these issues should I really try and remain Catholic?? I have read enough to know that I am saved by my faith in God. So why do I need all of this extra baggage and theory?  Help me, Father. - David

Dear David,

You bring up an interesting question, which many people at one time or another entertain in their minds.  Even priests have doubts about their faith.  Doubts are only normal for mortals - but everything that we go through in our lives will, through our choices, draw us closer to God or move us further away from God.  It is up to us to make a decision.  Faith is a gift that was infused into you at the time of your Baptism.  It came to you in seed form and with the power of the other Sacraments and our openness towards the Holy Spirit, we let this faith grow within us until Christ is formed in us in full stature.  Christ MUST be the center of our lives - for He is the Way, the Truth and our Life. 

Once I made a decision to give myself to God and want to follow Christ, I will accept all that Christ accepted in His life, that is, He chose us as brothers and sisters, He chose His Mother to be His Mother (and by our brotherhood with Christ she is also OUR Mother), the angels are our servants of God, the Saints are our examples already dwelling in Glory - as Jesus dwells in Glory (the FIRST and the Last).  Among other things, Christ also gave Peter the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. 

We have the FULLNESS of the faith in the Catholic Religion.  If we believe it or not does not do away with the fact that this supernatural reality really exists.  Atheists don't believe that there is a God - yet He exists anyway.  So who sells himself short?  Is it God or is it the atheist? 

The real issue here, David, is the question "why do you question these things?"  What I would suggest is that you find a priest who is willing to take time with you to go over each issue that you have doubts about and in a dialogue express your thoughts and feelings, but be also open to another point of view.     Remember the disciples who went to Emmaeus and as Christ joined them on their journey, he explained the Scriptures to them so much so that they told later: "our hearts were burning within us as HE opened the Scriptures for us." 

God gave us a Cadillac for our faith.  Just because you don't want to use the AC or play the stereo, or use the sun roof, does not mean that it is not a good car.  Other Christian denominations have less equipped cars and have to struggle harder to find their way into the Kingdom.  It takes time to get to know your faith - priests and lay faithful struggle every day to enter deeper into the mystery of God.  Even if we don't understand, we still consent to the truth which the Church (= Christ) teaches.   I will say "I don't understand, but I will adhere to the teachings of the Church"  This is Faith in Action - a faith that has its origin not in this world, but uses this world to help us get to know our "real" home with our Father.  - Father Peter Auer



Dear Father Peter:

What attitude should I take in regard to my mildly retarded adult daughter and the sacrament of Penance? She seems to know the difference between right and wrong, but has little understanding of the Catholic faith.  We have led her to the Sacrament, but I wonder if she is really able to have true contrition. Should I continue to take her to confession? - Marie

Dear Marie,

You can be assured that your child knows right from wrong - not as we know it, but as God teaches the child.  Please give her this gift of experiencing the forgiveness and love of her heavenly Father.  He loves her very, very much.  Maybe you want to call your priest and explain her situation and make an apointment for confession, rather than go at scheduled confession times.   If the priest has a difficulty with it, just call a neighboring parish and then make a pilgrimage out of your trip.

Regarding her contrition: maybe you can pray with her and also for her to be open to God's grace.  You may use words that she comprehends - it does not have to be a lengthy act of contrition - for it is the Spirit in her that makes sounds beyond any human sound, as the Spirit communicates with God. - Father Peter

 

Dear Father:

What is the Catholic Church's position on cremation?  I am against it, but my spouse who is Catholic wants to be cremated.  We are still in our 50-60's but it is a big problem as far as our trust is concerned. Any advice as to what the Catholic church teaches would be appreciated.  Thanks.  Micheal

Dear Michael,

It used to be a "no-no" for Christ died and was "buried" - and we ought to do likewise.  But times have changed a bit and the Church is now more and more open to the possibility of cremation.  Often it is a financial issue that makes one move in this direction.  For whatever reason, here is a wonderful excerpt from the "Liturgical Norms on Cremation" - as found at the EWTN webpage: http://www.ewtn.com/library/CURIA/CDWCREMA.HTM 

I hope that this will answer any questions in this regard.  - Father Peter



Father Peter

Can a person who is not married by the church be an Eucharistic Minister?  People are saying that this man who is totally devoted to God could not become one because he is living in sin. I thought we were not supposed to judge one another. At the same time, does it mean that all EM have to be sinless? I have seen the behavior of some who do not act in a Christian way.  Thanks for your insight.  Shania

Dear Shania,

God is the Judge of all things - we ought to leave this to Him.  BUT it is the duty of the pastor to select people who are in good standing with the Church to be involved within the Church, especially extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist.  Maybe it was an oversight by the pastor, who did not know the situation in which this person finds himself.  It might be a good idea to let your pastor know what you know, so that he can get to the bottom of this and act accordingly. 

BUT there are at times circumstances, like two people living together, in chastity, maybe one is the care taker of the other, or maybe for other reasons.  In such cases, the situation would only be known to the priest, and if he made a decision based on that knowledge, we might not like what we see, but we don't know the whole story.

Make an appointment with your pastor and explain what you know, and then abide by his decision. - Father Peter



Dear Father Peter:

My marriage is in trouble and I am seeking comfort with another man. Please help me.  I find it difficult to talk to my own priest.  I have other issues too but am too ashamed to express them.  What should I do? Thanks.  - Deb

Dear Deb,

If you have a problem and can't talk to your local priest about it, take the phone book and look for a neighboring parish, or if you have a religious order or a retreat center nearby, call them up and ask to speak to a priest or counselor.  Please act soon and DO NOT BE AFRAID.  When you speak to the priest, just ask him to place everything spoken there into the seal of confession and nothing will ever get outside of that room.  And the next time you see that priest again, he cannot even make a remark about the last meeting/confession you had with him.   (Counselors ought to be confidential, but it is not the same as a confession and the counselor can bring up that topic at another time he sees you).

Shame is good, that means that you have a built in sense of right and wrong - just don't let it keep you from making peace with God and bring peace to your soul, mind and heart.  - Father Peter



CatholicView:

Does the church believe that Israel becoming a nation was an act of GOD? - Phil

Dear Phil:

Although God gave us free will, the ultimate happenings on this earth are governed by Him, otherwise we would have supreme control over everything and as Christians we know this is not so.  God has plans for us all and Israel has always been a part of God's plan from the beginning.  As we know Jesus first came for the Israelites then to us as non-Jews.  By virtue of the covenant of Jacob they are regarded as the chosen people of God.  He has kept them in His sight always and made special promises regarding Israel as a nation, therefore we believe it to be an act of God.  - CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

I am dating a man who used to be in the seminary. He has been out of the seminary for 2 years. I have fallen so in love with him! Our shared faith, his encouragement and support for me as I am receiving my BA this May and moving on to Youth Ministry this fall is amazing. He is my best friend, the man that I see myself spending the rest of my life with. However, I have recently learned that he has a disease that may have caused him to be sterile. I just don't know what to do about it. He says that he would not be tested to see if he is in fact sterile. Should I even be asking him to be tested? Of course, it is important for me to have children. I have always envisioned having a large family. Yes, we could adopt... but, it's just not the same. Should I end the relationship, knowing that he may not be able to have kids? Or should I accept that fact, keep loving him, and deal with the possibility of having to adopt our family if and when we marry? my heart tells me that I should just offer it up, and continue in the relationship. My head tells me that when the time comes, I will be devastated if I am unable to give birth to my children, unable to watch as the perfect combination of my husband and I comes into this world and grows up. What should I do? - Denise

Dear Denise:

When two people truly love one another, they will want to discuss a serious problem together and come to an amicable agreement.  It is unfair to withhold information that will affect you both.  And if you and your fiance cannot agree on this issue this could lead to other problems later.  Marriage is not a one sided affair.  You must meet on a common ground on such important matters as the procreation of children.

If you proceed with this situation, in time you will resent your fiance for his restrictions.  You need to come to a decision so you can act accordingly on it.  Ask your fiance if he will go with you to talk to your parish priest.  There you will both will be able to talk this through with a priest who can offer a knowledgeable and Christian insight.  With the help and the grace of God you will see your way to make the right decision.  - CatholicView



CatholicView:

You're probably familiar with this already but I've yet to hear any good answer to date:  If God is "all knowing" and God created everything, then God KNEW that the angel who later turned out to be Satan would be evil--thus, it stands to reason that God knowingly created evil (since he knew in advance the absolute and only way in which it would turn out--if he's all knowing). It cannot be said that Satan had a choice if God already knew the outcome, I mean, that would suggest God was expecting to be surprised, to see a result that would not comply to his foreseeing knowing-all-ness but since he is all knowing, that cannot ever happen. If I roll a bowling-ball downhill, I know it's not going to turn around and come up. No surprise, no choice. Therefore, we can say only as a matter of logic that God knew Satan would become evil each and every time putting the true creator of evil back in his court, so my question is, why do Catholics deny the logic? - Calven

Dear Calven:

Your question is a very interesting one.  Yes, God knows what choices we make.  He is an all knowing God.  But, and this is important, He also gave us free will.  God gave you and I free will.  I can choose this way of life or that way, I can choose the car I like and I can choose, for example, Heaven or Hell.  If I choose not to serve the Lord, He will not make me.  He will allow me to pay the penalty of Hell.  So this is with Satan.  Satan chose not to continue serving the Lord.  God, Who is Almighty, knew the outcome but He allowed Satan, in His scheme of things, to choose the right way or the wrong way, without interference.

God cannot create evil for He is holy and infinite.  But we are imperfect creations and sinful by nature.  If we were perfect creations, we would all be Gods.  God gives us a way to gain that perfection through the blood of His Son, Jesus Christ.

There are many things that do not seem to have an answer but our Father promises to make it clear to us as believers when we come into His Presence. So keep the faith.  Hope this helps a bit. - CatholicView Staff



CatholicView                               

My wife (38) and myself (41) have recently been advised that our first pregnancy is failing or has already done so. On our second visit to the OGBYN for a sonar gram, the growth of the child was not at the expected level and the doctor gave little encouragement. The third visit verified the doctor’s first diagnosis, as there was no further development of the baby. A third visit is scheduled, just to be sure, next week but serious hope has left us. We are both aware and have accepted that a miscarriage will occur.
My question is: Should my wife wait for nature to take it’s course and allow a painful miscarriage to take place and then visit the doctor for a DNC or would it be acceptable to schedule the DNC upon the conclusion of next weeks sonar gram. This of course pending a result that would prove no possible full term pregnancy. Simply put, would this (A DNC prior to a natural miscarriage) constitute being an abortion? My wife has asked me what my thoughts are and I cannot honestly answer her not knowing the facts.. Thanks for your advice and knowledge on the subject. - Tim

Dear Tim:

I am sorry to hear that your child is not growing and progressing as you had planned.  I pray that the Lord will send His Holy Spirit of healing and peace upon you at this most difficult time.  Since the unborn child within your wife is still alive (you did not say the child shows no signs of life), you must wait for "nature to take its course."  But if the unborn child shows no signs of life, and the doctors have concluded that the child within your wife is deceased, then follow the doctor's orders.  But since the child is still alive, we must wait.  The Lord will take care of everything.  Trust in Him. - CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

Is it alright to have sex with people because they haven't exactly said no but didnt say yes either?
or to get their parents involved as well.... please write back this has been troubling me since 1992. -Tavis

Dear Tavis:

You stated in your letter you are not Catholic.  Is it safe to assume you have not sought forgiveness for this sin?

There are two important parts to your question.  Apparently you feel you took an unfair advantage of your partner by not getting her valid and definite consent.  That constitutes an unfair and sinful action.  That is the first issue.  The second issue is you have committed the act of fornication and this is wrong unless the two people involved have taken the Sacrament of Marriage.

The good news is our Heavenly Father is a forgiving God and if this has been bothering you since 1992, you would be wise to seek the help of your church pastor.  You would then be able to talk this out and restore your peace of mind through the Sacrament of Penance or forgiveness.  May God strengthen you to seek the help you need.  Hope this helps.   CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

I have practiced the Catholic religion since I can remember.  I am going to ask my girlfriend to marry me but she is not a Christian. She say's that she wants to do the RCIA program, but never takes the initiative.  Should I still be thinking about marrying her and how do I help her in this important decision? - David

Dear David:

If your girlfriend is unwilling to make the first step in becoming a Catholic you need to sit down and talk about this very important issue.  Remember that one cannot "force" another person to accept your religious choice.

If your girl friend does not want to become Catholic then she must sign papers indicating that the children born of this union be raised in the faith.  If she is willing to do this, there should be no reason not to marry.  But it would be wise for you both to go to your parish priest and talk this out in order to see where these matters stand.  May God help you to work this important step out to your mutual satisfaction.  God bless.  CatholicView Staff 




APRIL 2003

FATHER PETER AUER

Dear Father:                                                     
According to a statement issued by the Vatican last year, Jews do not need to believe in Jesus or convert to Christianity, because Jews are already in a "saving covenant" with God.  Based on this, is it valid to assume that an individual who is not Jewish or Christian may choose either religion should he or she choose to convert?   Thank you.  Victor

Dear Victor,

I am not aware of that statement made by the Vatican.  I know that the Vatican emphasizes freedom of religion, without negating that the fullness of Truth lies in the Catholic Faith and it is also the fulfillment of the Old Testament.  Given that, it would be rather easy to make a decision then.

Here is the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

# 830 The word "catholic" means "universal," in the sense of "according to the totality" or "in keeping with the whole." The Church is catholic in a double sense: First, the Church is catholic because Christ is present in her. "Where there is Christ Jesus, there is the Catholic Church." In her subsists the fullness of Christ's body united with its head; this implies that she receives from him "the fullness of the means of salvation" which he has willed: correct and complete confession of faith, full sacramental life, and ordained ministry in apostolic succession.

# 1223 All the Old Covenant prefigurations find their fulfillment in Christ Jesus.

# 1747 The right to the exercise of freedom, especially in religious and moral matters, is an inalienable requirement of the dignity of man. But the exercise of freedom does not entail the putative right to say or do anything.

Hope this helps.  Father Peter



Father Peter:

How do you get rid of resentment? Thank you for your help.  Keven

Dear Keven,

You can not not deal with it!!!  Many people just suppress it or deny it or what not - that would be the wrong thing to do.  The proper way is first: to become aware that there is something that bothers you, second: to deal with it in a right way - in a Christ like way.

If we cannot change anything on our part, we have to either learn to live with a situation, or make changes within our own self.   We do this by: taking the person or situation or feeling or resentment (in your mind) and transferring the person/situation/feeling/resentment into the Heart of Jesus or Mary.  You do this as often as you experience that situation.   THEN: praise God for His wisdom, goodness and humility for taking this burden off you and carrying your pain and suffering.  Then continue to concentrate on what you were doing before; continue to work, read and play.

What you actually are doing now is: you connect that person with God: and that is the reason why God allowed that person to come into your life - so that you can help lift that person into God's presence.  Without you - there might be no one else to do that.  Others might just cuss or curse that person, or even physically hurt that person - but YOU help that person to come closer to God and so you fulfill your mission on earth.

Blessings always, Father Peter



Dear Father:
Is it possible for evil spirits to manifest in the home of an ill person?  And for other family members to hear their voice and smell the odor of sulfer and a musty odor?   Jim

Dear Jim,

It is possible that evil becomes manifest in many ways.  Saints were tempted by evil spirits and even suffered by their maliciousness (i.e: Padre Pio).  But ordinarily it does not happen.

What usually needs to happen is that a person opens himself up to the world of evil spirits (i.e: by using a Ouija board, going to fortune tellers, practicing spiritism,...)  this is usually accompanied by a non-practice of a sacramental life (Eucharist, Confession).  I have been called to houses where there was an evil presence - and this was the case.  There is also witchcraft, which is to be taken seriously - but again, if a person is active in the sacramental life, there is very little to worry about.

But that does not mean that wherever there is a bad smell in the house, that the person living there is not practicing their faith!   Besides, it is not so easy to get an exorcist to come to the house.   There are lots of other steps to be taken first; maybe you want to talk to a priest who will shed more light on this situation.

Father Peter



Dear Father Peter:

I am failing in overcoming sins involving masturbation and feel I cannot attend Mass if I cannot refrain from sin.  I spent many years praying to overcome them and it gets harder to overcome and easier to get into the sinful actions.  I spent very prayerful hours before the Tabernacle and
saying Divine Chaplets .  Yet, it gets more difficult to stay holy...Please advise on what I can do.  I thought the Eucharist and its Adoration was medicine for the soul.   Please help.  - James

Dear James,

You are right, the Eucharist and Adoration is medicine for the soul - these are divine gifts.  But grace builds on nature!!!   That means that it is not just God alone gives us the gift of abstinence and celibacy.  We have to do our part as well.  Prayer is a major part, but then we do have to be smart as well.

Masturbation is, like so many other vices, something that one hates to do, but still it happens.  What to do?

When a mother sees her young child play with a knife, she takes it away and puts it back into the drawer.  Now that kid KNOWS that it is not supposed to play with a knife, but because it is forbidden and it has already played with it, looks for ways to get in possession of that knife again - just because....   And so, the youngster martyrs his brain on how to accomplish that - he becomes obsessed.  Maybe even as an adult, because it is an obsession, he still has a desire for knifes - subconsciously perhaps, but still he does have it.  So, what do do?

A wise mother on seeing her child playing with a knife, would look for something for the child to play with - like a matchbox car or a ball, and then entice the child to play with her with the toy.  The kid then drops the knife and plays with mom, and when the kid is distracted, she takes puts that knife away - without the kid knowing what has happened.  When the kid grows older, it will learn the proper use of the knife.

See what has happened?  It is a matter of occupying one's mind!!!  If I am fixated on: "no, I cannot masturbate" - then I am engaging myself in a constant thought of what I am not to do.  Therefore, I find myself something that I like to do, like a hobby, sports, reading,...., so that my mind gets engaged in a different thought, and voila!  I have overcome the temptation.   Once we learn to deal with our minds properly, then God is able to work wonders with us.

(Of course, we must not put us into an occasion of sin - that is a given!)

Hope this helps.  Fr Auer



Father:

My parents don't want me dating anyone who is outside of our race.  I want to respect their wishes, but it doesn't seem right.   Is it wrong to be in a relationship with someone outside of your race?  Thanks - Christy

Dear Christy,

Love is a many splendored thing!  And every person needs to experience love to be able to experience God.  God created all peoples.  In Christ we are all one and one day there will be no more slave or free, man or woman,. . . . we will all be one in Christ.  Marriage is a tool to reach heaven.  Once "death do you part" you are no longer bound together - it is only an earthly bond - established by God, so that the partners and the children will find their way to their heavenly Father.

When you parents advise against such a marriage, it is not because God is cruel - but because people are cruel - and your parents know that.  You might remember how in elementary school some children are singled out and given names and being persecuted by their peers because of that - well, the whole world is a school and there are still names being given to a "non-conforming," "non-ordinary" individuals.  Also, if you have different backgrounds of upbringing - this can cause friction in a marriage, then the raising of children, then the matter of outlook of life,.....  In a racially mixed marriage, there are many  more things that can disturb the peace of an ordinary family life. 

But that does not mean it cannot be done.   There are many who have taken spouses from other races - and are happy!  My advise to you would be, take some extra time in courting one another, so as to get immersed into each others backgrounds, culture,....  Time is on your side, so do take time before you say "I do." 

United in Prayer always,

Father Peter




APRIL 2003

CATHOLICVIEW STAFF

CatholicView:

Is oral sex ever acceptable in our faith between husband & wife who has had children? I had read an article some years ago that the Pope said it was acceptable if both parties were willing & the obligation of children were met, is this true?  Thanks for your help.  NewMar

Newmar:

I know that the present Pope or any Pope in the past 2,000 years has NEVER said that “oral sex” is acceptable for Christians.  The church’s teaching about sexuality is based on the following scriptures:  Genesis 1:27-28 “God made them male and female, and God blessed them and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it.”  Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.”  The Acts of the Apostles 15:20 “They must abstain…from fornication.”  Romans 13:13-14 “Let us walk honestly as in the day, not in rioting and drunkenness, not in sexual excess and wantonness, not in strife and jealousies.  But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.”  I Corinthians 6:13, 18-19 “Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you?”  Paul’s interesting advice from I Corinthians 7:1 “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”   I could go on and on scripturally.  So, in answer to your question, any sexual act that is not orientated to the completion of the love bond and open to procreation of children, then the sexual act is not what God intended as HIS Will for His people.  And what is not God’s Will is a sin.  It is hard to be a follower of Christ in ALL things.  But that is what Christ meant to “carry our cross.”   Live the ideal, and if you should find that living the ideal is difficult and you fail, we have a merciful and loving God who forgives and challenges us to grow and mature to be what He wants us to be.  The Lord God will NEVER abandon us and is always ready to forgive and accept.  So, live the ideal!   Our bodies belong to God!  We are temples of the Holy Spirit. - CatholicView

 

Father:

My father is a recovering alcoholic and I am about to wash my hands of him. My mom and I are tired of getting blamed because he's not happy.  My dad needs to get a life and start praying.  I’m really tired of this. Can you help? - Carol

Dear Carol:

You mentioned that your father is “a recovering alcoholic.”  I presume that means that he is attending a support group that will help him overcome his addiction, and that he is seeking medical help for his addictive behaviors.  If he is not seeking professional help with the alcoholism, then he needs to get to some help now.  Your father is most likely expressing his feelings and trying to spread the blame for his actions that he is not yet able to accept responsibility for.  Recovery is a difficult thing for any person, and there are changes to a person that are difficult to make and accept.  So, please be patient with your father.  It is amazing that we expect God the father to forgive us and accept us and understand us totally when we fail.  That’s why Jesus Christ said that we should not judge or condemn anyone.  And that’s why we say the prayer, The Our Father, and these words, “forgive us our trespasses as WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS (sin) AGAINST US.”   Now, here is something for you.  Once your father begins to blame and express his frustration in not drinking alcohol to settle his anxieties and fears, do not listen nor take his comments personally.  Just let it go in one ear and go out the other.  I know this is difficult since he can say things that are personal and hurtful.  But you cannot accept the blame.  One day he will be free when he can accept responsibility for his actions.  When that day comes, your family will rejoice!

CatholicView Staff 



Father:

I've been married for 25 yrs. and it was placed on my heart before this last Christmas that my marriage was invalid. I've been very active in my church having taught Religious Ed for 15 yrs. and also being a lector. I did stop receiving the Eucharist but not attending Mass. I guess this entire thing was brought to mind due to the ignorance of my youth. I married someone not of the Catholic religion. He had been married before and divorced. I had spoken to my pastor at the time because I was worried about excommunication. Unfortunately, I didn't offer enough information, since I didn't have it all, nor did he ask enough questions. It was left that I could still receive the sacraments. I now feel very much in the wrong. I did speak to a priest and was told that since my misinformation and activity was not due to malice Jesus would not want me to distance myself from Him by not receiving Eucharist. Nor should I cause undo strain on my marriage and children by making an issue of this now. I'm not comfortable with this information but I want to do what is right. Please help me.   Beverly

Dear Beverly:

There are some questions that I have been missing: 1) When you married 25 years ago, were you married in the Catholic Church?  2) Did your husband receive a church annulment before he married you?  If the answer to these two questions is “no,” then it is time to get your marriage “convalidated” (blessed sacramentally) in the church.  Your husband should ask for a questionnaire that would start the annulment process from your pastor.  As soon as the annulment process is complete, you can have your marriage convalidated in the church and you can return to Holy Communion.  Your husband does not have to become a Catholic to be married in the church to you.  All he needs to do is to see if he can annul his first marriage so that he can be free to marry you in the church.  May God bless your endeavors.  Please say involved in your parish church.  You are doing such great things for the Lord! - CatholicView Staff

Hello:

Jesus said if you love me then keep my commandments. What are the
commandments of Jesus?  Thank you.  Michael

Michael:

The two great commandments of the Lord Jesus are “Love God with all your heart, with all your strength, and will all your soul; and love your neighbor as yourself.”  - CatholicView

 

CatholicView:

I was raised as a catholic but not confirmed. Is it ok for me to genuflect and make the sign of the cross? - Chris

Chris:

Yes, it is acceptable that you would genuflect before the Blessed Sacrament and make the sign of the cross.  Please make an appointment with your local priest and ask about how you can receive the sacrament of Confirmation and become more involved in your parish church.  God bless. - CatholicView



CatholicView:

I have begun to organize a Men's Club in our parish. Our pastor is vehemently opposed to it for reasons no one seems to understand. We have published a mission statement on a web site as follows:
To build the community of parish men into a robust body of faith,
service and friendship.
To actively promote increased participation by ALL parish men in ALL areas
of parish life.
To provide a large resource of combined time, talent and treasure to be
made available to all proper goals within our parish and broader
communities.
To provide an environment for spiritual growth and synergy at the
individual and community levels.
To provide leadership by example in the pursuit of a Christian life.
To accomplish the above goals by implementation of various social,
ministry and financial programs.
To have a tremendous amount of fun and laughter in the process.

We are now in a dilemma in which our pastor, whom we have all loved and respected for many years, is thwarting something that a group of us all believe is important and innocent. My personal opinion is that we should proceed with the group. Our pastor has always emphasized the role of the laity and now that some members are trying to follow that direction we are being ambushed. Do we have the right to conduct our business under our parish's name without the consent of our pastor? What should we do? – Thank you for your help. - Ralph

Ralph:

I wish your were in our parish!  I would find someone building up a men’s club for your goals a blessing for us all!   But I do not know the circumstances why your pastor has such negative feelings about the establishment of this wonderful idea.   But unless your pastor accepts your plan, your organization and your “charter,” then you cannot act or conduct business under your parish name.  So, if your pastor is so against your plan, then you can pursue it without using the parish’s name.   So, an example of a name: The Good Shepherd Men’s Club, or something like, <en for Christ!  But I would first try one more time to see what his objections are.  Maybe he feels that a “men’s club” would be exclusive and may be seen as anti-women.  Maybe he has concerns about who will lead such a group.  I don’t know.  But I pray that the Lord will guide you in this badly needed ministry to men!  - CatholicView



MARCH 2003

 

Dear CatholicView:

How does one talk with a person who does not think that they owe anybody any explanation of their actions, especially when it causes others pain?   Please help.  - Chris

Chris:
You don't.  If someone is not open to you and your concern for that person and what that person is doing, there isn't much you can do.   Jesus gave us an example in the scriptures: (Matthew 10:26) "Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known."  So, let the Lord take care of it.  There isn't much you can do.  The Lord will reveal the weakness of this person if they are willing to see.    Let the Lord fix things, and be free of worry.
CatholicView Staff



CatholicView:

My daughter's CCD teacher told her that (1) the Pope is God on earth; and (2) the Pope goes straight up to heaven when he dies.  Is either statement true?  Thank you. - Julie

 


Dear Julie:
 What an interesting question you sent through the site.  The Pope is NOT God on earth.  He does have a title, "Vicar for Christ" meaning that he is a representative of Christ, but so are you and I.  Are we not ambassadors for Christ?  Of course we are.  The Pope is the universal pastor of the church which he received through the ages from Saint Peter, the first pope.  The Pope's ministry is one of unity and supporting the brothers and sisters in the Lord with teachings and advice.  But he is certainly not God on earth, and maybe your daughter misunderstood the religious education teacher.  As for your second question, that all popes go to heaven, who knows?  I am not God here.   Everyone is going to be judged by the Lord according to his deeds and his faith.   In our church history, there were some very holy popes and some very bad popes, especially during the renaissance period of European history.  But nonetheless, the faith has been persevered because Jesus promised us that the gates of hell will not prevail against the church.  For me, the pope is a symbol of unity, tradition, and the promise that Jesus is with us until the end of time.
CatholicView Staff




To CatholicView:

If two people are married to others yet find themselves in love and truly believe that God in his wisdom has brought them together to grow in faith and in love is that wrong?  Thank you for your help.  – Kent


Dear Kent:
You are still married in the eyes of the church and therefore you are breaking one of God’s commandments.
If yours is a marriage problem concerning sexual immorality, physical or mental abuse or other irreparable conditions you must get the professional help of your parish priest who can suggest counseling or annulment in dire cases.  The vows you took are legally and morally binding before God and you must be responsible for what you are doing.  God does not send such entanglements to us therefore it is a choice we have made on our own.
Please see your priest immediately.  May God grant you the wisdom and courage to set your life in order.
CatholicView Staff



To CatholicView:

What would you say to a Catholic who is considering conversion to Judaism?  - Patricia


Dear Patricia:
One cannot change another’s mind but you can offer your own point of view.  Ask your friend if he/she would be willing to give up our Lord and Savior.  Judaism is the beginning of our religion but not the end.  Becoming a member of Judaism means waiting for the Messiah to appear.  Our belief and faith comes from knowing He has already come and left us the legacy of eternal life.  He is the fulfillment of what the prophets spoke about in the Old Testament. 
Would your friend give up all that the New Testament and Jesus Christ represents?
Please pray for your friend.  May God bless you.
CatholicView



Dear CatholicView:

What is a mortal sin?  What happens if you commit one?  - Penny

                         
Penny:
There are many kinds of sin.  The ones Catholics associate with themselves are mortal and venial sins.  The more serious sin is called mortal and the lesser sin being venial.  Mortal sin is defined by St. Augustine as something said, done or desired contrary to the eternal law, or a thought, word, or deed contrary to the eternal law.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines a mortal sin as follows: "Mortal sin destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God's law; it turns man away from God, who is his ultimate end and his beatitude, by preferring an inferior good to him." (C.C.C. # 1855)
The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines a venial sin as follows:  Venial sin allows    charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it." (To "subsist" means to    "exist.") (C.C.C. # 1855)  "Venial sin constitutes a moral disorder that is reparable by charity, which    it allows to subsist in us." (C.C.C. # 1875)  "One commits venial sin when, in a less serious matter, he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law, or when he disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent."
Should someone commit a mortal sin, that person should immediately seek the Sacrament of Penance or confession to gain forgiveness for the sin.  If it is allowed to remain and that person dies he\she is in danger of losing eternal life.  It is best to talk to a priest in person to determine the gravity of the sin and to seek repentance.
Hope this helps.  God bless.                                                                   
CatholicView




Dear CatholicView:
Is it a sin to be bi-sexual?   Thank you for your time.  - Bill

Dear Bill:
The Lord has made us to fill the earth, and to populate it, so obviously the heterosexual orientation is what the Lord intended from the beginning.   But things became broken by original sin (the sin of Adam and Eve).  When Adam and Eve sinned and turned their back on the Father's Will, that sin ruined everything.   It started a domino effect of sin throughout history to this present day.  It is interesting in the Book of Genesis (Chapter 4) that right after the original sin of Adam and Eve, the first murder happened, the ultimate sin against human life and God who is life!  The Father in heaven promised a savior to fix the broken things of creation, and that savior is Jesus Christ!  From this original sin came death, sickness, pain, confusion, sadness, war, and all sorts of human pain.  With all that in mind, the homosexual orientation is to be seen as an effect of original sin.  But because it is a consequence of original sin, the person who has a homosexual orientation is not necessarily always in control of this aspect of his/her personality.  It is interesting that Jesus said in Matthew 19:12 in answer to his question about marriage and divorce on why some people do not marry: "For there are some who do not marry because they were born that way; others do not marry because they were made by that by men; others do not marry because of the kingdom of heaven."  So, obviously, there are always exceptions to the rule because of original sin.  We cannot judge anyone, nor can we judge why some people are different from others.  Remember the words of our Lord Jesus: "Do not judge lest you be judged.  Do not condemn lest you be condemned."  So, instead of closing doors, we should be opening the doors of our faith to those who seek peace and clarification of God's Will in their lives.  Sexual expressions are meant only for those who are in a committed relationship we call marriage.  The Lord wants us to be faithful and not people who only are ruled by our desires.  Do not become a slave to your desires.  That brings me to bisexuality: most people have experienced some kind of bi-sexual attraction, but usually people just acknowledge it and let it pass.  But calling yourself bisexual betrays a sexual identity confusion that needs the help of a spiritual and/or psychological counselor/therapist who can help you understand your own sexual attractions and concerns.  You need to clarify these issues.  I pray that the Lord will guide you in making decisions that will help you find God's will in your life and bring you true happiness and peace.
CatholicView




Dear CatholicView:
My sister (age 28) who has been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder after several suicide attempts, is also an alcoholic.  She has difficulty keeping jobs, and wastes her money.  My parents want her to move in.   I say no!  I find it very difficult to see how my sister abuses us and my generous parents.  She blows up at us.  Then she comes back asking forgiveness.  Help me with some direction in this.  Thank you for your help with this. - David


Dear David:
No one really understands the pain of a family that has to deal with a family member that struggles with mental illness and emotional disorders unless it has happened to them.   Most mental illnesses have a medical and physical reason, such as the imbalance of brain chemical called serotonin, or the "misfiring" of brain electrical impulses.  So, let's make this clear:  your sister is not totally responsible for her actions and therefore not culpable.  She has several illnesses that are working here: bipolar disorder and alcoholism.  Some people who have mental illness actually abuse alcohol because they "self-medicate" meaning that some people think that alcohol makes their illness more controllable.  Sadly, this brings so much pain to the people that love and care for them.  I am reminded what the Lord Jesus said in scripture (Mathew 5:41-42): "And whatsoever shall compel you to go a mile with him, go with him two.  Give to him who asks, and from him who would borrow from you turn not away...(46) For if you love those who love you, what reward is there in that?    Do not sinners do the same?  Do not close the door on you 28 year old sister.  You do not understand the pain that is in her mind and soul.  This pain is not of her own making, but the making of an imbalanced brain or some other physical/medical reason.  If she had cancer, or some other physical illness, would you not help her?  Of course, you would.  I say, do not listen to people who say to shun your sister because she is mentally ill. Some still think that people who are mentally ill are that way because they want to be that way.  That is truly naive and cruel as well as ignorant.  Your sister is sick.  She needs your help.  Do not abandon her.  Your parents are not "enablers" but parents who love and care for their daughter.    They even feel guilty that she is mentally ill because of something they did.  That's not true either.  Mental illness is sickness that needs to be cured by medicine and doctors and your love.  Now, as to your question about money and giving your sister money: since you are concerned that she is not making financially responsible decisions because of her illness, why not go shopping with her?  Instead of giving her money, offer your time and effort and go with her to buy the food she needs.  That way, you can be assured that your money is being used well.  If she doesn't want to go, just say that you are willing to go shopping for or with her when she is ready but don't give her any money,  As for your parents wanting to have your sister move in, once again, I say, do not close the door on your sister in her time of need.  She needs the family's love and support.  But my concern is this: Your sister must be reminded not to abuse her parents by being disrespectful to them, but also remember that she is not totally in control of her outbursts.  And tell your parents what I already told you: don't give her any money, but offer to buy the things she needs to live.  And if she gets upset, just tell her that when she is ready, you will go shopping with her or for her.  She must also go the the doctors and find out why she is struggling with this illness and must continue to follow doctors orders.  By doing this, she will be able to be free from her mental illness, or at least, in control of her illness.  Love your sister into health with God's help.
CatholicView Staff




Dear CatholicView:
Is it permissible for a grandparent to baptize the grandchild of the non-practicing Catholic adult child by either Baptism of Desire or with oil and saying the words over the child?  If so then, what are the duties thereafter especially if the parents do not want to raise the child Catholic?  Thanks. - Patricia


Patricia:
Baptism always involves the use of water while saying the words, "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  So, you cannot desire baptism on a child(because the baptism of desire can only be invoked the person himself when there is no Christian to baptize him), or use oil since that is not water.  Plus, baptism must be accepted freely by parents of the child or by the person himself.  So, I am sorry but you cannot baptize your grandchild by your own initiative.  I know that you care for the spiritual welfare of your grandson, but leave that in the hands of God.  Hopefully, and with your care and concern for your grandchild as an example, your grandchild will make his/her own decision to ask for baptism and accept Jesus and the church into his/her life.  Hope this helps.
CatholicView Staff




Dear CatholicView:
Was Jesus wrapped in 2 inch cloths from head to toe?  Or was He just wrapped?  Thanks - Dana


Dear Dana:
The Scriptures do not exactly say how Jesus was wrapped.  But Matthew 27:59-60 says that: "And when Joseph had taken the body, he wrapped it in a clean linen cloth and laid it in his own new tomb."  It seems that Joseph wrapped Jesus in ONE single linen cloth as he didn't;t have time to do anything else since the Sabbath was about to begin. Mary Magdalene and "the other Mary" was to come later and anoint the body of Jesus but when they came back to do things right according to their customs, Jesus was raised from the dead!  So, it seems clear that the Jesus was merely wrapped in a single linen cloth (the Shroud of Turin???) and not in 2 inch cloths like a mummy.
Catholic Staff




CatholicView:
I was wondering where the tradition of inner silence that John of the Cross practiced originated from.  Is it biblically based?  Also, Thomas Merton talks a lot about it and I was wondering where the tradition started.  Many thanks.  Michelle


Michelle:
Silence and inner silence is biblically based and is the key to knowing God's Will for your life.  The prophet Elijah found God not in the earthquake, wind or fire, but in the silence of a gentle breeze.  And Jesus said in his teaching us the prayer OUR FATHER that it is best to close the door and pray in secret and the Father Who sees in secret will reward you (see Mathew 6:6).  The tradition of silence started from the beginning of human history!
CatholicView Staff




Dear CatholicView:
Do you believe that a typical family exists today?  Thanks.  Lita


Lita:
I do not know what you mean by "typical family."   My family has a mom and dad and four brothers and sisters and we all love being together.  We pray together, play together, respect each other, and disagree with each other.  Is that a typical family?
CatholicView Staff



CatholicView Staff:
Can a Catholic in good faith disagree with the Pope on the war in Iraq?  Thank you.  Annette

Dear Annette:

Yes, of course.  The Pope is the universal pastor of our Church, and therefore the universal teacher of us all.  He mediates on the word of God and has a teaching opinion on the war with Iraq after much thought and prayer.   Yet, we can disagree with him, of course.  He is expressing his opinion as pastor of the church.  I hope you have done the same:  mediate on the word of God, looked at the teachings of the church on war, prayed and asked the Holy Spirit for guidance in regards to your own opinion on the war in Iraq.  The only thing we cannot disagree on are the defined articles of faith such as the Lordship of Jesus Christ, the Trinity, Salvation, the Scriptures as the Word of God, and major topics such as these.   These teachings have been defined as infallible (without error) by the Church, councils, and popes throughout the ages.  And remember, if something is being defined as infallible, you would know it:  A council would probably be called, bishops and faithful around the world would be consulted, and the Pope would define the truth in a formal and clear way called "ex cathedra," meaning from the chair of the office of the Pope.  In regards to Iraq, he has not done so because it is not a matter of faith, doctrine, or morals.  The last time a Pope has defined a truth "from the chair" was in 1950 when he defined the truth of the Assumption of Mary into Heaven, a truth always held from the beginning of our church's history.  By the way, the Pope and Councils would not be making a NEW TRUTH by defining a truth "ex cathedra."   Such declarations are only definitions of truth ALWAYS HELD BY THE CHURCH from the beginning.  So, if you disagree with the Pope on the war in Iraq, I hope you have done your homework.
CatholicView Staff



Dear CatholicView:
I was wondering if you could tell me your views on hell. I am struggling with this idea, if it exists or doesn't exist.  Thanks a lot.  Jeremy



Dear Jeremy:
Hell is very real.  The scriptures are filled with references with hell.  So, simply hell exists.  You may wonder why a loving and care God would make a hell.  Hell exists simply because we are free will beings.  Follow me closely: love cannot be forced, right?  For love to be true, there must be a choice, and I must be free to make that choice.  God cannot force me to love Him if I didn't have a choice.  If I choose to love Him, and make Him part of my life, then I will go to heaven.  If I chose not to love Him, and I actually chose to hate Him, then I will go to Hell.  Hell exists because I have a choice.  I am in charge of my destiny.  If I hate God, then I don't want to go to heaven.  Simple as that.
CatholicView Staff



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