Father Kowalski:

Is it wrong to worry about God coming?  It's not that I don't want him to come at all but I would like to have a family of my own and I also want to make sure everyone in my family is saved. Is that okay or is that not really believing in GOD? - Merri

Merri:

Jesus said that no one knows the time of the Second Coming except God.  That means we should not worry about it.   But we should live in a way that we would be ready for His coming at any time.   I"m not sure I understand all of your message.  Most people are more likely to forget about the Second Coming than to worry about it.  Go ahead and make your plans in life, just remember everything comes to an end someday.  - Father Kowalski

Father Kowalski:

How does a person refute paganism?  Thanks for your help.  - Marcus

Marcus:

That is a very "big" question, because there are different things that go by the name of paganism nowadays. For some people, usually younger, it means an attitude of "I'll do whatever I want" in life.  This attitude is easy to criticise because it inevitably leads to problems, both for the people who live that way and those around them.

But another type of paganism is people who claim to worship the good things in nature that we see around us.  These people may have clear attitudes of what is right or wrong, and may be attempting to live by them. One example of this in history is pagan Rome. They built the greatest empire in history, but eventually they couldn't deal with their own success.  Rome was corrupted by wealth and power.  And this is the great weakness of natural paganism: the goodness in human beings isn't good enough. Eventually even the most moral people will cause trouble and see much suffering in life. We cannot save ourselves, and those who try always fail at a great cost in suffering.    We can only be saved by a power greater than ourselves. - Father Kowalski

Father,

I suspect that my 16-year-old son is gay and may have possibly engaged in some homosexual relations. As a concerned father, I was wondering if you could explain what the Roman Catholic Church's opinion of homosexuality is so I can find an appropriate way in which to deal with this situation.  I love my son dearly and I don't want to push him away.  Your help would be appreciated.  - Craig

Dear Craig

The Church teaches that homosexual actions are serious sins. The attraction that some may feel to these sins is often a complex phenomenon.  The roots of it can be in different causes, and I had best not generalize from a brief email.  It sounds like your relationship with your son has had some difficulties in the past.  My experience with homosexuals is that any criticism, even the slightest, is interpreted as a personal attack and causes a "fight or flight" reaction.  The situation may need the help of a professional counselor. Depending on your son's age, it may be possible to change things.   The first step may be to improve communication with him.  – Father Kowalski

Father Amaro Saumell

Father:

How can a priest give absolution to someone who has had an abortion? Isn't that considered a mortal sin? Can you settle this issue for me?   Thanks. - Mary

Dear Mary,

Think about the Ten Commandments of God.   Every one of them would be considered a grave act.    However, they may not all be mortal sins.  For a sin to be mortal, three elements must be present.  First of all, the act must be a grave act.  Secondly, there must have been sufficient reflection to do it.  Thirdly, there must be a complete consent of the will to do it.   Yes, abortion can fall under mortal sin. "Thou shalt not kill" is a direct commandment from God.

If the person committed abortion, thought about it sufficiently before doing it, and then made a complete informed choice to do it, it would be mortal.  But don't just single out this sin.  How about "Thou shalt not bear false witness against they neighbor?" How many times to people knowingly gossip about each other?  Here's another one... "Thou salt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." People often think of this as swearing.  But they forget how many times they'll say "Amen" to a prayer in Jesus' name without even considering the prayer.  Doing something in vain means to do it to no productive purpose. There are all sorts of mortal sin. But there is no sin that God cannot forgive to the truly repentant person. These are the sins that must be taken to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. "Through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace.  I forgive you of your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  Those are powerful words. They come from the power instituted by Christ to the Apostles, "Those sins you forgive are forgiven, those you hold bound are held bound."   In imitation of Christ, we who have the faculties granted by the successors to the Apostles, the bishops, forgive all mortal sins to the repentant sinner... yes, even abortion. That is the great mercy of God.  God bless, Fr Amaro

Dear Father Amaro:

My husband was abusive, committed adultery and I have been divorced unwillingly since 1992. I am a deeply religious Christian and would like to become Catholic. Is it hopeless for me to want to do this? Any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Sherry

Dear Sherry,

Oh yes!  It is very possible for you to become Catholic. Let me explain something to you though. What happens after a marriage is not important. One is married for "better or for worse."  However, a person must be able to make these vows in the first place with full capability to fulfill them.  The things of which you speak are symptoms that either your husband or you or both were not capable of making or fulfilling those vows. If that is the case, the marriage was not valid in the first place and an annulment can be proclaimed, leaving you free to marry in a valid marriage. Please see your local priest about this.  But let me also add a little challenge.  You could have been married to the Boston Strangler.  You must ask yourself, "Why did I not know this person well enough before I got married?"  The evidence of an invalid marriage may have been on your part too if you were not mature enough to choose wisely.  Immaturity or lack of discretion is also grounds for annulment.

When I applied for an annulment (yes, I have been married) I never said anything about my former spouse.   I was the one who chose to marry her.  It was my decision.  I had to take ownership.  She could have been a mass murderer (which I assure you, she was not.) I was not looking to blame anyone else for my choice, not even her.  In other words, I was not looking to harm her or the hurt in a "second divorce."   An annulment is NOT a second divorce.   I was looking for the truth, for all truth exists in Christ.  I was so young when I got married that I could not possibly choose correctly.  Marriage is for adults, not children.  I had a lot of issues and a terrible temper because those issues were unresolved.  In my case, it was not that I didn't know her.  It was that I had not matured enough to know myself. 

You must be just as honest with yourself.  Why did you not know how abusive this person could be? What was your maturity level when you made this choice?  Did you not look for traits that could allow for infidelity, or were you just going on feelings of attraction?  Was abuse part of your conditioning while growing up to where you didn't recognize it in your relationship?   There are so many areas to examine.

This is such an opportunity for you to grow.  It is also an opportunity for you to learn to choose more wisely in your life so that you may have success as God wants you to.  If you want to approach the Sacraments by becoming a Catholic, be truthful in everything. It is so freeing.

Let me add one more thing. When I was first ordained, there were many in the Church that were upset because I am so open about my past invalid marriage and annulment.  Many thought it was opening things to scandal and that I should keep it secret.  In present times, we have found that hiding things from ourselves as well as others only adds to scandal.   But being truthful has opened the doors to many to the wonders for being honest before God and neighbor as an act of loving God and neighbor.  It has afforded many to come to me to process annulments for them so that they could return to the Sacraments or, like you, become Catholics. For, if God can be so merciful in letting me become a priest at the altar after going through such an experience, imagine what he can do for you! Be honest. Be open. Any encounter with the truth is an encounter with Jesus.  God bless, Father Amaro

Father:

Does receiving the last rites guarantee you an entrance into heaven? Are there other requirements? Many thanks. – Irv

Dear Irv,

I'm so glad you asked this question, mainly because people are not educated to know exactly what "Last Rites" are!  The "Last Rites" are a combination of different Rites.  There is the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.  This anointing can and should take place whenever there is a life threatening illness or decline of health, especially in elderly years.  It should take place when one is going to have surgery. (There is always a danger of death, even in the most routine of surgeries."  The Anointing calls upon the gifts of the Holy spirit in which you were sealed at your Confirmation, especially that gift of "Courage." Remember, you don't use courage if you're feeling confident.  You must draw on it as Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemene when He was afraid.  He moved beyond his fear and acted on his conviction. He moved beyond "Take this cup from me" to "Not my will, but yours..."  If courage is a gift from God, the Holy Spirit, then discouragement is from you know who!   The Sacrament of the Sick recalls our decisive use of the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

When we call the Anointing of the sick "Last Rites," it is often preceded by the Sacrament of Reconciliation and absolution of sins and ended with what is called "Viaticum" or food for the journey."  this means that the receiver of the Sacraments knows that it is possibly the last time that he or she will be receiving them.  However, if the person is not conscious to make the decision, it is presumed that the person would do all these things and during the Anointing, there is an absolution.  For that absolution to be valid, the person must, according to his or her abilities, have sincerely grieved their sins and wanted absolution.

Nonetheless, the priest never judges, just as he never judges in the confessional.  In answer to your question, the guarantee of entrance into heaven is dependent upon the person’s sincere desire to be with God through honest repentance and God's mercy in receiving his or her soul through that

 repentance. It is never up to us to judge.  -  God bless, Fr Amaro

CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:  

Can a Catholic man marry a non-Catholic woman who is a divorcee with a child in the Catholic Church and still remain in good standing?  Does the non-Catholic have to convert prior to this being possible or is it never possible?  Please advise. - Bruce

Bruce:

Your question has three parts.  First, a Catholic can marry a non-Catholic in the Church.   There is no impediment to that.  But the second part of the question is the problem.  The non-Catholic party that you are talking about is divorced and has a child from that marriage.  The Catholic Church accepts the non-Catholic marriage of the non-Catholic woman as valid and unbreakable even though she was not married "in the church."  The Church says that any marriage between non-catholics are valid (unbreakable bond).  So, before you can marry in the church, an annulmentof her marriage must be done.  This process can be initiated by talking to your parish priest and explaining the situation. Usually, an annulment process takes about two years in some dioceses.  the third part of the questions:  Does the non-Catholic have to convert?  The answer is no.  After an annulment of the non-Catholic party's first marriage is complete, you can marry in the church. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:

I am an alcoholic.  I want to quit.  I go to confession a lot.  I am going to get help and I will figure this out.  Am I committing a mortal sin when I get drunk?   Does Jesus want me to go to AA or some other program?  It seems like prayer doesn't work.  Please respond to me personally.  Thanks, Tom.

Tom:

Anytime any believer in the Lord Jesus abuses alcohol, drugs, food, or anything that endangers the health and quality of life of a person, that believer commits a mortal sin.  So, as to your first question, is it a mortal sin when you get drunk, the answer is yes.  As to your second question, the Lord Jesus is calling you to conversion and repentance.  Through your faith in the love and mercy of the Lord, you will achieve victory over this addiction to alcohol.  So, do not lose hope.  It seems that you do need the help of a program like Alcohol Anonymous or some other program to help you understand why you must get drunk and to understand the roots of your addiction.  You cannot overcome addiction without the help of people, friends, family, and Jesus (and the sacraments and Bible Study)!   Through the support of others who have overcome their addiction to alcohol and through prayer and faith in the Lord Jesus, you will succeed in having victory over alcoholism and live a life free from this sin – CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:

I don't believe that when I receive communion that it truly is the body of Christ.   I believe it represents the body of Christ.  My question is if it is still OK to go to communion? - Joe

Joe:

I cannot understand why any Catholic would not believe that the bread and wine consecrated during the Mass (and given in Holy Communion) is not the real and true body and blood of Christ.  The New Testament scripture says it so clearly that there can be no question.  In the gospel of John, Chapter 6, Verses 53-58:  "Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you do not have life within you.   Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life."  Mark 14:22-26:  "This is my Body....This is my Blood..."  I Corinthians 11:27: "Therefore, whoever eats the bread and drinks the cup of the Lord unworthily will have to answer for the body and blood of the Lord."  And there are many other verses in the New Testament that clearly teach that the Holy Eucharist (Holy Communion) is the real body and blood of Christ.  If scripture cannot convince you as well as 2,000 years of Christian teaching on the Eucharist, then all I can say is that I don't understand your position.  If you really don't believe that the bread and wine in the Holy Eucharist (Holy Communion) is the body and blood of Christ, then DO NOT RECEIVE communion.  Without your belief in the body and blood of Christ in communion, then receiving communion means nothing. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:

I was married in the church and now I am divorced.  I have spoken to my priest who says my marriage is not one that would qualify for an annulment.  I have recently met a woman and we are considering marriage again.  I know that my choices are limited.  I spoke to my mother who stated if I choose to marry outside the church, she would not be allowed to attend.  I asked her where she got this information and she said in one of the sermons.  Although I understand getting married outside the church will not be recognized by the church, would my parents be doing wrong by attending their divorced son's marriage? -  Mark

Mark:

I am sorry to hear that your parish would say that your marriage "would not qualify for an annulment."   I hope your parish priest really researched this option for you.  Let me explain in a concise way the elements required for an annulment of an existing sacramental marriage (representing the love of Christ for His Church).  There are basically four conditions (though there are others, but I will mention the main ones) of a sacramental marriage (a marriage recognized by the church as an unbreakable bond).  First, both parties (male and female) must be free to marry and cannot be forced to marry by any person, fear, blackmail, circumstance, or event (such as an unplanned pregnancy).   Second, both parties must be emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually mature adults (18 years or over is a minimum for both parties...no marriage for minors is recognized in the church) understanding that marriage is for both unitive love (the completion of the other in love and life-commitment) and open for procreation of children (to be baptized and educated in the catholic Faith) and that both parties understand and freely accept the responsibilities of building a marriage, home, and family together (having the ability to communicate openly).  Third, this might seem strange in these modern days, but a sacramental marriage must be entered into without any conditions (unconditional love is demanded in a sacramental marriage), such as a pre-nuptial agreement, or even an unspoken condition such as "I will marry you if you do this (whatever it may be) for me." Fourth, that both parties must enter a sacramental marriage with sexual maturity and awareness of self (self-knowledge).  If any of these conditions is missing, then it is not a sacramental marriage.  That's what an annulment process does:  it answers only one question, is this marriage a sacramental marriage?  So, I hope your priest went over this with you.  As for you real question, would your parents be wrong to attend your wedding outside the church (or would they be right in not attending your wedding)?  It was taught for many centuries after the Protestant break from the church (in the 16th century) that Catholics were not allowed to attend the church services in other churches outside the Catholic church.  So, your parents may remember this admonition.  But family bonds must be maintained because God made us to be in families.  Your parents are in a situation that they don't want to be giving their blessing to a non-sacramental wedding for fear that they would be encouraging your leaving the church (and encouraging others to follow and get married outside the church).  At the same time, you are their son and they love you with all their hearts.  So, your parents must make a decision depending on how they feel about your marriage and the implications of their actions as seen by others.  I encourage all parents to support their children.  If your parents decide to attend your non-sacramental wedding, there is no sin in that.  If your parents decide not to attend your wedding, there is no sin in that either.  - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:

I am already married (civil) but would like to have a church wedding.  Is this possible?   Are there any special requirements?  My husband is Anglican.  Thank you.  - Anne

 Anne::

 Yes, having your marriage convalidated in the church (blessed in the church through the sacrament of marriage) is possible!  Here are some requirements:   (1) Neither of you are divorced; (2) that your husband agrees to having you bring up the children in the Catholic Faith.  No need for your husband to become Catholic (but if he wants to become Catholic, good for him and you).  Please talk to your local priest and set up the date to get married in the Church.  May God bless your marriage with joy, love, peace, and fulfillment!  - CatholicView  Staff  

CatholicView:

I have often wondered why Jesus had never written anything down.  He  obviously could read and write as evident in His Bar Mitzvah.  In addition are there any writings from the original 12?  Hope all is well. - Dave

Dear Dave:

Yours is an interesting inquiry.  Jesus was a teacher and not a writer.  The short span of His life was dedicated to spreading the gospel in person, healing the sick and dying.  The only writings from the Apostles that we have are only from the following:  Matthew, John, Mark, and Peter.   Paul and Like came later and were not part of the original twelve.  That's it.  The others did not write or their letters no longer exist.  God blessed the Apostles with those talents of writing about the wondrous things Christ did in their eye witness accounts and religious happenings . – God Bless.   Catholicview Staff

CatholicView:

I'm confused about something.  I have a couple of Catholic friends and they had a disagreement recently. One said it was forbidden for a Priest to say the person's name during confession, and the other said that his Priest addresses him by name during confession from time to time and it was all right.  Is there a "right" answer to this?- Jim

Dear Jim:

Perhaps you do not know that there are two ways to go to confession.  One can go into a confessional that is a private booth separating the confessor from the priest by a privacy screen.  The priest does not see the confessor therefore he would not be able to call that person by name.   Secondly there is the “face to face” confession in which the confessor sits in the open and speaks to the priest.   If the priest knows the person he can call him by name.  This is acceptable.   God bless. - CatholicView Staff

CatholicView:                           

Not long ago, my confessor gave me 3 weeks without smoking for penance. Unfortunately, I failed at my penance.

I then went to confession and confessed my failing at carrying out my penance and the priest gave me a new penance. Am I still bound to complete the original penance--the 3 weeks without smoking--or does the new penance replace the "old?"

I've cut back from 2 packs per day to a half pack a day and I still plan to quit smoking. It has been a gradual process and while I am of mixed emotions to quitting, I'm convinced it's the best thing to do and I am  looking forward to being smoke free. - Terry

Dear Terry:

You are entitled to follow the new penance.  The old is now replaced by the current penance.  May the Lord give you the courage you need to stop endangering your health and quality of life.  God bless you.  - CatholicView StaffCatholicView:

My fiancé is discerning his calling to be a deacon, like his dad.  I'm concerned because I have been married before and have obtained an annullment for my previous marriage.  Can this prevent my fiancé from being considered as a deacon?

Dear Kara:

If the church has granted you an annulment from your previous marriage, this should not be a hindrance to your fiancé becoming a deacon.  However, since CatholicView has limited information from you, you might want to visit your parish priest to discuss in detail this matter.  God bless you.  – CatholicView Staff

MARCH 2004

Father Amaro Saumell