ASK A PRIEST
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
FATHER LAZARUS CHAWDI
priest anointed me with Holy Oil and
"May your sins be forgiven. Does this
that all of my sins are forgiven? "Stephen
I recently went to
an Anointing of the Sick Mass. When the priest was anointing me
with holy oil, he said may your
mean that all of my sins are forgiven from my past? Thank you,
Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick,
once called Extreme Unction (the Last
Rites), is a beautiful sacrament
healing of body
and soul. Let's see what the bible
says about this sacrament. In the
Letter of James, Chapter 5,
13-15, in the New Testament
(the Christian scriptures), James writes
Is there anyone among you
should pray. Is anyone in good spirits? He
should sing praise to God. Is anyone
among you sick? He
presbyters of the church, and they
should pray over
him and anoint him with oil in the name
and the prayer of faith
will save the sick person, and the Lord
will raise him up.
If he has committed any
sins, he will
forgiven." Yes, the forgiveness
of sin is part of the sacrament of the
Anointing of the Sick
to the bible.
If you were repentant of your
sins when you were anointed, you received the forgiveness of all
your sins. Usually, the
forgiveness of sins
usually associated with the sacrament of Penance (confession).
But in times of spiritual healing,
the Anointing of the sick has the component
of forgiveness of sin. That is made clear in the Gospel of
Mark, Chapter 2,
Verses 1-12, when Jesus healed the paralytic
Jesus didn't say
be healed of being a paralytic.
Jesus said that his sins were
forgiven. True healing comes from the
of sin. And such forgiveness of sin
makes its healing
power present in the sick body.
Yes, the sacrament of the anointing of
the Sick forgives sin. But that
all depends on the repentant heart of
The graces and forgiveness of sin
through the Sacrament of Penance and the
Sacrament of the Anointing of the sick
dependent on whether one's heart is open
to God's grace. And when one's
heart is open to the forgiveness of God,
healing happens within and effects the
whole body in miraculous ways!
- Father Carlos Morales
"I am Catholic. My Grandson was baptized on Easter in
a Christian Church.
I was not invited. Should I have gone to the
grandson was Baptized on Easter Sunday
in what they call a Christian Church. I
did not attend. I wanted to. I was
did not attend.
Just told about it. I did not make
a big deal out of it because my
understanding is if I had
against the Catholic faith. I have had
such issues with my kids their whole
life about the Catholic
husband used my faith
against me to tear my kids away from me.
It worked. I was not strong enough to
stand up to it. He won. He passed away
My daughter passed away 3 years ago and
she was baptized
Mormon. I did go to
that. I did not think about it as being
going but, that I was helping my
daughter get away from
drugs. It failed.
She died from drugs in a house fire. I
cannot get my kids
or grand kids to attend mass with me.
Christmas Eve the one Grandson
that is only 16 and has been Baptized is
and he went to Mass with me.
spent Christmas Eve together and he
believes in God but, he does not go to
church regularly. I
used the going to
as a Christmas
gift to me and he was really happy with
that. We had spent the day together and
Ending with mass and him
meeting Father Titus, our priest. Could
I have gone to the Baptism? What should
God Bless...+ MD
You could question yourself to the
extreme, but what is past is past.
Since you were not invited to attend the
of your grandchild
in another Christian denomination, there
was nothing you could do about it. So,
please stop punish-
something you could
not have done anything about. Now, you
could have gone to the baptism of your
grandchild. That would have been
family ties are sacred, and your
presence in your children's lives
is extremely important and suggests that
God loves them even though
you may not agree with what they are
Family ties are important since
these ties are forever. Yes, forever.
In heaven, you will still
be their mother and they
will still be your children. Forever. But in
you all will know everything about God's
plan for your earthly
and be amazed at the depth of
God's love for you all. Any mistakes
will be corrected and in Jesus all will
could have gone to the baptism of your
grandchild with no sin involved. Family
ties are important and must be
strong. Be at peace.
I share your joy that your grandson
shared the Christmas Mass with you even
though he is
not Catholic. You are
- Father Carlos Morales
"I have been baptized in the Baptist Church but I want to know
more about the Catholic Faith. Is it possible for me to
to Catholicism?" - Felicia
My husband is currently
incarcerated. He has found God through the Catholic
religion and it's a blessing! For me on
I have no clue about the Catholic Religion. I do believe
in God. I have been baptized in the Baptist
would love to know
more about the Catholic Church. Is it possible for me to
convert to Catholicism? I
have so many
unanswered questions and He tries
to explain them, but still don't understand. Is there any
that could help me?
Your husband has found his faith in Jesus as his Lord and Savior
within the Catholic Church. Yes, you too can
you reach the stage that you want to become Catholic, you will speak
with your parish
priest or deacon and they
will guide you into the
process of becoming Catholic called the Rite of Christian
Initiation for Adults. (RCIA). Here is a simple
summary of the Catholic Church here:
And for a more detailed
look at the
Catholic faith, may I suggest that you read the
"catechism of the Catholic Church".
It is detailed and
"heavy" reading, but
will answer all your questions:
click on the chapters and
read the paragraphs
according to subject
title. You could also download
the whole Catechism for free here:
I hope that the Spirit of
will inspire you as you begin to
understand the Catholic faith and your
husband's new found relationship
Jesus as Lord
and Savior in the Catholic Church. -
Father Carlos Morales.
"Can I Become Catholic If I have Tattoos?"
I was wanting to know if I already have
tattoos, can I becme a Catholic? Thank you. - Dustin
Yes, you can become Catholic even if you
have tattoos. There is no prohibition
your tattoos are
not glorifying the devil or sin.
Father Carlos Morales
"I have a history of trauma that
causes me to be extremely
careful and extremely risk-averse.
Can you help me?
Thank you for
providing this service. I don't know
what my actual question is. Here
is the problem I find myself
I have always wanted a relationship with
the Divine in some way. One day, I was
listening as someone
in my family was watching a religious
program. A woman was preaching,
telling a story about how she gave
She said as soon as she gave her life
over to God's will, she more or less
went bankrupt, lost everything, and
ended up living out of her car with her
family. This absolutely terrified
me, and I have been scared to pray or
with really have anything to do with
spirituality ever since. I don't know
what my actual question is, but can
you provide any guidance, or even just
comfort about this issue? What am
I supposed to do? I have known
a lot of pain and gotten a lot of
horrible surprises, including being
homeless, and I'm really not willing to
experiencing any more of that.
Please help. Thank you so much for your
time. Sincerely, Deschene:
I am responsible for my life, and what
happens to me and to others around me
(since every action I do
affects those around me). And there are
times when bad things happen because
others cause the problems and
pain, and I must somehow rise above that
and become master of my life despite
what others are doing around me
and possibly to me. My faith in God
enables me to see the BIG PICTURE of
life. When I am in trauma, as you per-
sonally know, I do not see anything but
the pain. I see nothing else. But my
Creator (my celestial Parent) wants
me to open my eyes and see the bigger
picture and wants me to have hope of
overcoming the negative. That's what
faith is all about: to see that life is
bigger than me, to snap me out of my
self-centeredness and self-pity, and to
move forward without looking back and
being weighed down by the past (the
meaning of forgiveness).
As a Catholic Christian, I
am in a faith relationship with Jesus
Christ as my Lord and Savior. It is
that Christian faith
that enables me to break free from my
own pain made by my own decisions or by
the decisions of others. Instead
of feeling sorry for myself and allowing
myself to be imprisoned by inaction and
depression, my faith in God tells me
that life is so much more than the
present pain. I could go on, but I just
wanted to simply answer your question
Having a relationship with God
our Creator and Father does NOT bring
anything negative. Such a spiritual
only brings life, joy, peace, serenity,
strength, love, and hope. The negative
comes from within and from others around
me. Without God, there is no hope and
without hope, there is no joy. With
God, there is hope, joy, and fullness of
For me, I cannot imagine life without
God. Now, it is up to you whether or
not to have a relationship with the
Have no fear of God. That I do not
have. I do, sadly, have concern (fear,
anxiousness) about the sinfulness of
beings that can make life miserable.
Without faith in God, life can seem
quite hopeless. Choose God and live
life to the full without fear. And when
choose God, you can do the impossible
because, you see, God always believes in
you. And when you believe in Him,
you can overcome the negative and trauma
of life. Faith in God gives me the
self-confidence I need for every
..why? When I
my Creator, in whose Image I was
created, through my spiritual life, I
realize how much He be-
lieves in Me because He truly loves what
He has made. God looks upon me and sees
me as "very good" (see Genesis
1:31). Once I realize this truth of
being eternally loved, I am at peace no
matter what is going on around me. -
"My daughter is a cantor at Church but
moved in with
her boyfriend. Her priest told her she
could never hold her
Could she still take communion? - Lulu
My grown daughter served as a cantor at
Mass. she moved in with her boyfriend. I
was told by our priest that
she could no longer hold that position
because she could not receive communion.
The words he used were
"scandalous" and the Parish would never
tolerate this." Is this within the
rules of the Church? Could she
cantor but not receive communion?"
We are extremely hurt
by how this has been handled. Lots of
talk in the parish. Yet the priest has
NEVER spoken to my daughter but called
us in to let us know she can't
fulfill that position any longer. She is
25 years old and the 7th generation in
my family to be a member of that
parish. We are so hurt that my child
feels unwelcome in our parish that we
are considering leaving.
extremely hurtby how this has been
handled. Lots of gossip and talk in the
parish. Yet the priest has NEVER
spoken to my daughter but called us in
to let us know she can't fulfill that
position any longer. She is 25 years
old and the 7th generation in my family
to be a member of that parish. We are
so hurt that my child feels un-
welcome in our parish and we are
considering leaving. - Lulu
I am saddened that your parish priest did not handle this
situation better, but the conclusion he came to is
correct. As a parish priest, if I had a concern or problem
with anyone if the parish, I would talk to that person
face to face. I would never talk to the parents unless the
person in question is a minor. Your daughter is not
a minor so your priest should have spoken to your daughter
directly and not to you, her parents.
Let's be clear about a moral Christian life expected of all
leaders of the Church: all leaders, even cantors, must
be living the teachings of the Church in their daily lives.
Since there is no acceptance of sexual relationships out-
side of a sacramental marriage as a Christian moral decision,
your daughter made a decision to live with her boy-
friend before marriage, and by doing so, is loudly saying that
she is rejecting the teachings of the church and the
gospels in regards to living a moral life in the area of
The role of Cantor (leading the people in song during liturgical
celebrations) is considered a leadership role. She
is before the people of God not only as a song leader, but also
as an example of a Christian moral life. By lead-
ing in prayer and song, she is a leader and a moral example of
living the Gospel in all areas of her life.
By living with her boyfriend, she has decided to leave behind
her role as leader and example, and, sadly, there
are consequences to that decision. One of the consequences
is that her parish priest has to remove her from her
leadership role because she is living in fornication (a sexual
relationship outside of a sacramental marriage). Any
sexual relationship outside of marriage is sinful. And as
long as she lives with her boyfriend and continues her sexual
relationship with him, she cannot receive communion and she
cannot be in a leadership role in the parish. As soon
as she moves out on her own and not live with her boyfriend, she
can come back to her leadership role in the parish.
As soon as she moves out on her own and not live with her
boyfriend, she can come back to her leadership role after
participating in the sacrament of Penance (confession).
If she should marry her boyfriend in the Church, she would be
able to return to her role as Cantor. But as long as she
is in this relationship outside of marriage, she will not be
able to take part in a leadership role in the Church. She
participate in the life of the Church, but she cannot receive
Holy Communion until this relationship is resolved according
to the Gospels and the Church. Being a Catholic Christian
means that we take on a specific life long spiritual discipline
upon ourselves as we journey to salvation in Jesus. Jesus
wants us to be pure.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 5, Verse 48, Jesus said this:
So be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.
The Gospels demand that we take on the discipline of
Jesus' teachings (hence, we are disciples of Jesus) as we look
forward to our place with Him in Heaven. And spiritual
discipline and faith is what being a Christian is all about.
Once again, your parish priest handled this badly but he knew
that he had to challenge your daughter to be a disciple of
Christ by pointing out her sinful decision to live with her
boyfriend. I know that your daughter is strong enough to
the right way of Christian morality.
It is difficult to live as Christ wants us to live, to be a
light and model to the world of Christian virtue. As
loving Parents, I
appreciate your hurt and anger towards your parish priest about
this matter. But see the bigger Christian picture in this
painful moment Your daughter is an adult and she must know
that there are consequences to every decision she makes.
May the Spirit of God guide her in all that she does and I pray
that she re-evaluates her moral decisions. I will pray for
her tonight, and I will pray for you as well.
Your daughter's decision does not reflect your excellent
parenting. All children adults are responsible for their
decisions. Their parents are not. But you can speak
to your daughter about her decision to live with her
Then, after doing so, let her be. She is
responsible for her life before God. - Father
Dad was diagnosed with heart Arhythmia a while
ago and takes heat medications. I get very unsettling feelings
think he's not telling me everything about his health. Please
First off, thank you all for taking the time to answer
questions. I'm in need of advice here! Here's the problem I'm
facing. which was a while ago, don't exactly know how many
years it's been. I just wonder if there are times that
he's not telling me certain things. I can't say for sure.
I know that we have a great relationship and do talk, but
sometimes. I did ask him before, a few times at least how he's
feeling. I know that there have been times that he
would feel lousy, sometimes it happens, he's on heat
medications, and that's good. I just don't know what to think. I
have to be honest here, what I'm feeling Is I just don't know
what to do. Please help! Any advice would be welcomed!
I know that your feeling of love and care for your father is
driving you to protect him and control every aspect of his life.
But there is only so much you can
do. If your father wants to spare you what he is feeling, or if
he doesn't have the
vocabulary to express what's going on, then please, let him be
at peace. You cannot heal his heart problems. You can-
not stop the march of time. You
cannot make your father say anything he doesn't want to share.
Please accept that your father is in God's Hands and that your
father's life is in God's control, not yours. You are feeling
unsettled because you feel so powerless. This is one of those
life situations in which you give to God and say that you will
trust God totally. Just be present to your father, do what is
necessary, and make sure that he has what he needs. Other-
wise, let your father lead his life as he wishes. Here is
my favorite little prayer when things get out of control in my
Lord Jesus, I trust in you.
Keep saying that prayer when you are anxious about your
father's health. Trust in God always even when life
out of your control. - Father Carlos Morales
"I have been a smoker since young age and it is a difficult
I also smoked cannabis since high school. Until I break the
habits, should I be confessing every week?" - Kevin
I have been a regular smoker since a young age and am finding it
difficult to give up the habit. I have also smoked
cannabis since high school and been a heavy user most of my
life, though with
determination to also give up this
habit, I now only smoke cannabis occasionally. Having attended a
Catholic school and then straying from the
Church for more than 40 years I now attend Mass every Sunday and
usually take communion. Until I break
the habits should I be confessing every week. I am now 57
and wanting to amend my life and be at grace
with the Lord. - Kevin
Whenever a person does something against the
body, the temple of the Holy Spirit, that is addictive, it is
considered sin, something that is against God's Will for the
welfare and salvation of a person. Smoking,
in excess, smoking marijuana recreationally (cannabis),
overeating (gluttony) and other des-
tructive behaviors are all considered actions against the temple
of the Holy Spirit (please see 1 Corithians 6:
19). Since you are trying to be free from addictions and
keeping your body pure for God, I would strongly sug-
gest that you mention your struggle with these additions in
confession so that you may leave them in God's
merciful hands and seek His strength and grace in the sacrament
of Penance (confession). By doing so,
you hold yourself accountable to God for your actions against
the temple of the Holy Spirit which is your body
created for God's greater Glory. -
Father Carlos Morales
"What is the meaning of the Second Coming?"
I hope this message reaches you in good health. I was hoping you
could give me an answer to
a question. What is the meaning of the Second Coming? As
for my religion I would say that I am the perfect
example of a Christian, of course preferring the Catholic
tradition. - Gianni
The Second Coming is the promise that Jesus would return at the
end of time to bring everything together and
present all creation to the Father. I think of one particular
bible verse that sums all the teaching about Jesus
coming back at the end of time in the Book of Revelation,
Chapter 1, Verse 7: "Behold,
He is coming amid
the clouds; and every eye will see Him; even those who pierced
Him; All the peoples of the world will
lament Him; Yes, Amen."
In the Acts of the Apostles, when Jesus ascended into heaven
before his disciples,
this happened as stated in Acts of the Apostles, Chapter 1,
Verse 10: While
they were looking intently at
the sky as He was going, suddenly two men dressed in white
garments stood beside them. They said,
"Men of Galilee, why are you standing there looking at the sky?
This Jesus who has been taken up
from you into heaven will return in the same way as you have
seen him going into heaven."
is coming again, and when He does, all things will be reconciled
in Him! A very important aspect of the Second
Coming of Jesus Christ at the end of time is the Final Judgment.
In the Gospel of Matthew,
31-46, Jesus said that at the end of time, the sheep and the
goats will be separated and judged according to
their deeds while on earth, and judged according to their deeds
while on earth and judged according to their
deeds while on earth. You can read the verses yourself and
judged according to their deeds while on earth. You
can read the verses yourself. In the same Gospel of Matthew,
Chapter 24, Verses 29-50, there is quite a clear
description of the end of times and the Second Coming of Jesus.
Yes, Jesus is coming again! and they will see
Him come on the clouds and there will be no doubt about Jesus as
the Son of God and Savior. Come Lord
I was in my early teen years I became severely depressed
and renounced my faith. I committed what Jesus said was an
unforgiving sin. Recently I was told I can never be forgiven
for blasphemy. Is this Really true ? Aleeshya
When I was in my early teen years I became severly depressed.
At that time
I renounced my
faith. At that
time I committed what Jesus said was an unforgiving sin. I
was so depressed I even turned to other religions
trying to find some form of happiness. Nothing worked
until I went back to my Christian faith where constantly
prayed and tried to find my way back to God. Recovery was
long and difficult but with faith
I got through and
now I'm stronger. But recently I told I can never be
forgiven for blasphemy. Is that really true?
I was raised in
Pentecostal home but went to Catholic school and chose the
Catholic way because
I felt it
me more. - Aleeshya
I praise God for your recovery and your control over depression.
God has guided you in this recovery and has
given you the spiritual strength to stay on course oin your
healing. You have had a difficult journey.
you have now been healed from your pain, you have found the
peace you desire in God's Spirit through Jesus
Christ! Praise God!
Now, to make this as clear as I can:
You have not committed the unforgivable sin of blasp-
hemy against the Holy Spirit. You are making a reference to the
verse in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 12,
Verse 31: "Therefore
I say to you: every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven, but
blasphemy against the
Holy Spirit will not be forgiven."
Blasphemy against the Holy
Spirit is a life long act that will not accept the
free gift (amazing grace) of forgiveness from God. A person,
making a life long free will act of not accepting
God's forgiveness, means that the person will die with all
their sins intact. Blasphemy
against the Spirit is more
than just one act of blasphemy or sin. Notice that in Matthew,
Chapter 12, Verse 31, Jesus said clearly that
every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven.
So, even though you said things when you were in the grip of
despair and painful depression, the fact that you
forgiveness and were given the spiritual and emotional strength
to reach recovery, that in itself
is clearly a sign that you have
NOT committed the unforgivable sin. You are forgiven and saved!
Revel in the
love that God has for you, and give thanks for your recovery!
Now, go help others to reach recovery and know
of the eternal love that God has in reach for each of us.
The unforgivable sin is dying without accepting God's
forgiveness and turning one's back on God's Spirit even at the
point of death. You have not committed this un-
forgivable sin. You are saved by
God's grace. You are
loved forever! Alleluia! -
Father Carlos Morales
"If a couple has divorced but remain intimate, are
they committing fornication? - Rcorujo
If a couple who was married in
the Catholic Church divorce, yet remain with each other and
still love each other
very much, are they committing fornication? I would expect
"no" since although they have a civil divorce, they
are still married according to the Church. Is this
Your first answer is correct: The couple who are divorced and
living separate lives are committing sin if they
continue to have physical sexual relations. My first
question is why did they divorce? What was the purpose
of divorce if they will continue to have sexual relations?
You say that the couple still love each other? Then
what up with that? What's the divorce for? Yes, the
couple is still sacramentally married, but their decision
to divorce would mean that they also decided to end all physical
If they want to be faithful to themselves and to God, then they
should end their divorce and reaffirm their marital
vows. Until they do, their sexual relationship is sinful.
Father Carlos Morales
"A Friend of mine was refused entry into a Catholic
Secondary School in the UK because the child was
not baptized before 6 months." - Onet
I have a question. A friend of mine was refused entry into
a Catholic secondary school in the UK because the
child was baptized before 6 months. The reasons behind
this was that she was awaiting papers from the home
office, as she is from the Philippines and she was unsure of her
residence status. Furthermore, she wanted all
her family to take part in this event but could not travel, due
to the lack of papers.
is and was a very devout
Catholic and her husband is too. They have a second son
who was baptized within the 6 months time frame.
the first was not, he was baptized after. Also the mother
suffered severe depression during the period she waited
for her papers.
My question is, does this brand her as a bad Catholic? Where
was it written that she has to bap-
tize in 6 months,
apostles were baptized as adults,
and furthermore the fact that she desperately
wanted her family to take part and was awaiting the papers, does
this work against her decision to baptize later?
can she be branded not worthy of a Catholic School? - Onet
I must say, I am mystified by this situation that you described.
A baptized person is a Catholic no matter what the
age is, and the baptized person is free to be a student at a
Catholic school. I have no idea what the rationalization
for their decision not to accept this student is. The reason why
the student wasn't accepted into the school must be
that the student was
baptized after 6 months of age. There is more to this story
that you do not know. Any
Catholic baptized person can be accepted into a Catholic school.
I must conclude that there is another compelling
reason for the non-acceptance of this student into that school.
Father Carlos Morales
"I am a Hindu boy and I am in a relationship with a
She wants me to become Catholic for the future of our children.
I am willing to become Catholic, can I be baptized or would this
be sinful?" - Arjun
I am a Hindu boy but now I"m in a relationship with a Catholic
girl. She loves me and she wants me to change into
Catholic for the better future of our children. If I am
willing to change into Catholic, can I be baptized or is that
kind of sin? Please give me an instant reply after reading
this email. - Argun
If you are
willing to leave behind your Hindu faith and accept Jesus Christ
as your Lord and Savior, then you can be bap-
tized and be saved according to Catholic Christian theology. I
know that you will think very deeply about this decision
to leave behind behind your Hindu faith, customs, traditions,
family activities that involve Hindu worship of various deities,
and the Hindu thought process (theology).
Once you accept being a Catholic Christian, you will leave
behind all worship of the various deities of Hinduism. You as a
Catholic will only worship one God (Father, Son, and Holy
Spirit), and you will have Jesus Christ as your Lord and no one
else. If you are willing to do that and truly believe only in
Jesus Christ, then I welcome you. There is only grace and
God and salvation ensured by your new relationship with Jesus!
God bless and think clearly. Are you ready to leave
Hinduism behind? And what about your own family? How will
they react? These are points that you need to think clearly.
I hope you chose Jesus! My prayers are with you this day.
- Father Carlos Morales
husband does not go to Church anymore and
this hurts me when I discovered his cell phone has many
porn sites on it.
And would a Catholic priest ever tell a man
that looking at porn is okay? - JD
Would a Catholic Priest ever tell a man who looks at porn is
of 52 years has been addicted to
some time. He doesn't go to church with me anymore and that
hurts me too but when I discovered his cell
phone has many
porn sites on it, I was devastated. I did suggest to him that
he go to Penance at a church nearby
today. When he came
home he told me that the priest said it was okay to look at porn
as long as he doesn't do any-
thing further. What does that
mean? Now I am angrier than I
was before...I don't even know if I can
Could he be
purposely misunderstanding the priests words so that he doesn't feel any
guilt or sorrow?
Our marriage isn't the greatest but I would have
never believed he would do this to me or to himself. Ok..
with my rant. I guess I just don't understand why a priest
would give a penitent the red light to continue in sin.
sorry. I suppose this question is too long to expect
an answer. Thank you. A Sad wife. -
a confessor, I would NEVER advise anyone with an addiction to
pornography to continue to feed his addiction.
husband must have heard or misinterpreted his priest-confessor.
Addictions are serious human actions that get out of control of
the addicted person. Pornography is addictive be-
causes the brain to actively seek pleasure and fantasy and then
this process of seeking pleasure and fantasy
changes the brain
neurons and chemical interaction between neurons to further
cause the person to fall more deeply
in addiction. Your husband
needs an addiction intervention. He needs the help of a
therapist to get his addiction back
in his control. He cannot
addiction on his own. He needs others, professional therapists,
and he needs
Jesus Christ and the Holy Eucharist (holy communion)
to overcome this addiction.
This addiction is not your fault.
can punish yourself saying if you were more intimate or more
turning to pornography. That
is not true.
Your husband's pornography addiction is a deep seated pro-
blem within your husband
and his own selfishness and narcissism.
might be wise for you to seek a counselor
about this situation with a professional. You
need to understand the nuances of addiction so that you can deal with your
husband. You cannot change your husband.
Only your husband
himself. People caught in the slavery of addiction will not
easily accept counsel from those
around him. So, don't blame
yourself for your husband's addiction. Please pray each day for
your husband's deliverance
from this addiction. Trust in God
all you can to learn more about this type of addiction and find
a way to help your
husband. But if he doesn't want your help,
need others in the family to help you confront your husband
issue. You are in my prayers and thoughts this day.
- Father Carlos Morales
FATHER KEVIN BATES, SM
"It is my
understanding that the Blessed Mother was born without
original sin so that she could be the vessel for the Son of
if God made her without original sin why doesn't He make every
human without original sin? - Tom
Good morning, Father:
I'm a Catholic married to a non-denominational Christian.
Sometimes she has questions for me about Catholicism and
answer them as best I can. But some questions stump me.
For instance: it is my understanding
Blessed Mother was born without original sin so that she could
be the vessel for the Son of God. So if God
made her without
why doesn't He make every human without original sin? Good one
right? You could help
me out with this I'd greatly
Thank you and God bless. Respectfully, Tom
Thomas and good question:
The Churchís teaching on Original Sin is a sound one based on
human experience. all have the propensity to sin. We
in ourselves and see it at work in each other. Why didnít God do
things differently? Perhaps God had too
much respect for human
freedom and wanted us to have choices in the way we behave. Our
teaching about Original
sin is healthy and realistic.
that, it is possible for a person like you and me to have
original sin but never to sin. Thatís probably a bit of
of course given our track record, but we can say that this is
possible for someone.
When it came to Mary, the Church
she had to be free of all semblance of sin in order to carry
for the rest of us. Itís a tradition that grew
up in the Church
over time and developed to the point where the Church de-
cided it was true. Maryís perfection gives us something to
meantime we struggle along and have the joy
of being victorious
over our sinful self from time to time. I wouldnít miss
for the world.
- Father Kevin
regards to abortion, I understand that the procedure is strictly
forbidden, but are there any circumstances where abortion is
allowed or tolerated? What would be the moral fallout for a
Catholic if they were to be forced to perform an abortion?"
have currently came across a controversy regarding the Catholic
Healthcare system and reproductive rights. It is
my understanding that a Catholic hospital or Catholic affiliated
hospital follows the Ethical and Religious Directives
set by the United States
Conference of Catholic Bishop. These Directives provide
guidance on how to treat patients
according to the Catholic Church. In
regards to abortion, I understand that the procedure is
strictly forbidden, but are
there any circumstances where abortion is allowed
or tolerated? I ask this because of the reported cases raining
controversy at Catholic hospitals where it is claimed that an
was necessary to save the life of the mother but
provided because of the Directives. Further, doctors are
protected by refusal laws in the U.S. from being
forced to perform procedures
that go against moral beliefs. But how would that affect
their conscience? I am not
a Catholic so any insight you could provide would be greatly appreciated in understanding the Catholic
you. - Lorrie
You raise a question around one of the more vexed moral issues
of our time. I am an Australian and live in Sydney
and so am not
privy to the legal caveats that may or may not apply to doctors
with these decisions in the US.
If a Catholic doctor went
and performed an abortion, the question of his conscience would
be strictly between
that doctor and God. While he or she
acting against Catholic teaching in doing so, none us is privy
pressures, the workings of the doctorís on heart that
taking of that decision. The doctor may choose to
the matter with a priest following the event and would be
offered appropriate pastoral care and forgiveness
should he or she ask for
it. There is no way that the doctorís belonging to the
be jeopardised. We are
a Church of sinners, each of us
struggling to learn and observe Godís good purposes.
are not as clear-cut as is sometimes imagined.
Godís first movement towards us is one of compassion,
and healing when we stand before God as honestly as we can. Every blessing to you Lorrie. - Father Kevin
live in Malaysia and want to ask you about Filial Fear.
Does this mean God hurts when we offend Him? - Christopher
Shalom Friar! I'm Christopher and I live in Malaysia. I
just want to ask you Father about filial fear. "Fear of the
more like the fear of a good child about causing hurt to his
mother" Does it mean God hurts when we
or it just
anthropomorphism? Thanks and God bless. - Christopher
If I was asked to play a set of tennis against someone like
Roger Federer, I would no doubt be shaking with fear and
feeling completely out of my depth. If however, I was given front
seat tickets to watch Federer play, I would not only
delighted but filled
with awe in the presence of such sporting greatness.
What we mean by
Fear of the Lord is a more like my second situation than the
first. Being in Godís presence and
even getting a
glimpse of what God is a bit like, leaves us in awe and wonder,
almost like fear, but not quite. Being
in the presence of
love and knowing that love is for me, leaves me most aware of my
sinful self and perhaps
in fear of being exposed.
that this love is more than enough to forgive anything I have
come up with, then fear is quickly replaced
offend God we hurt ourselves. God is perfectly fine and His
happiness does not depend on
our good behaviour.
that God aches for us to be happy. That is why He sent his Son
to save us. I
hope this clears the air for you a bit.
blessing. - Father Kevin
we die do we meet our loved ones who
have died before us? - Derek
When we die do we meet our loved ones
who have died before us? Will we recognize each other? Thank
you. - Derek
I am assuming that your loved ones are believers in God, our
Heavenly Father. As a believer yourself, you will absolutely
and recognize each other and together you will live forever and
ever. It will be a wonderful meeting because there
suffering, sickness, and no more dying. If your family meet the
Lord one glorious day, together you will
sit at the feet
God and Jesus, our Redeemer, Who paid for all our sins. Glory
be to God for His eternal love
for us. - CatholicView
Is it a grievous offense if we were intimate with each other?"
I am a Catholic and a widow in
my 70's. I recently began seeing a widower who is also in his
70s and Catholic. Is it a
if we were to be intimate with each other? - Mary
Yes, it is a grievous offense to be intimate with each other
without the bond of marriage. As both of you are Catholic
you would be an offense to God. If you love each
other, then you must marry. Intimate relations without
is sinful in God's
eyes. If you cannot exercise self-control,
get married. Read 1 Corinthians 7:2 "To the
the widows I say that it
is well for them to remain single as I
am. But if they cannot exercise
self-control, they should marry.
For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion."
Please talk to your
priest about your situation. - CatholicView Staff
Best Friend invited me to her wedding which will be a Goth
ceremony in Vegas on Halloween.
The ceremony will include a
coffin and a person in a
Dracula costume as an officiate.
Is attending the wedding wrong?" Deborah
I was raised Catholic, and currently rediscovering my faith.
My best friend has invited me to her wedding which will be a
goth ceremony in Vegas on Halloween. The ceremony will
include a coffin and a person in a Dracula costume as an
officiant. My friend thinks its just Halloween fun. So I
am wondering if it would be wrong for me to attend this wedding.
Is attending a friend's Halloween wedding wrong? Thanks for any
You know your heart and you know your own moral code that you
live by. If you feel that you attending this Halloween
marriage ceremony is uncomfortable or too weird for you, then
you are free not to attend. Please be true to your
principles. I do feel, in my opinion, that making a marriage
ceremony a Halloween farce means that they do not take
their marriage vows seriously. They would not have a goth
wedding in the Church. My prediction: this civil goth-themed
marriage won't last long. Marriage is a serious, cultural, and
religious public act that represents God's love for us all.
True marriage is a sacrament. Marriage is not to be
trivialized in such a way.
Mom requested to be cremated when she died. We had a small
Catholic Church service and her ashes were blessed, etc. My
brother and I took some of the ashes and we now feel
guilty. Any advice?" - Laura
My mom died in
2010 and requested to be cremated-we had a small Catholic Church
service where her ashes were
blessed etc - she had purchased a plot at the cemetery to have
her ashes buried which we did. My brother and I re-
moved some of her ashes to be kept for our own special reasons.
Mine are buried in my garden at the beach.
Neither of us knew this was against catholic teachings and we
both are experiencing tremendous guilt!
would be greatly appreciated- my brother has scattered his-
sincerely, - Laura
Please be at peace. There isn't much you can do about what
happened in the past concerning the placement cremains
(ashes) of your beloved mother. I understand why you wanted to
have a relic of your mother always near you. It is the
Church's teaching a believer's deceased body be buried or ashes
set in one place in the belief that Jesus is coming at
the end of time to raise our mortal bodies from our graves.
Burying or placing cremains in one place is a sign that I am
awaiting the resurrection of the dead at the end of time. But
Jesus will find your mother and all will be reunited with her
GLORIFIED body. Don't feel guilty. Instead, feel grateful
for your mother and for the coming resurrection from the dead
where there will be no more tears, sadness,
or pain! (see Revelation 21:4). Jesus is Lord! He is coming
Father Carlos Morales
father is a habitual and pathological liar. He has
been charged by the police with several financial crimes.
How do I raise a child with a man like this?" Lindsay
I am seeking guidance on how best to understand a person in my
life who is Catholic, and with whom
I am involved in a
highly conflicted custody case for our son. Over the course of
our custody case he has lied extensively, falsified
evidence, and fabricated allegations. He never takes
responsibility for his sins. Instead he denies, makes excuses,
shifts blames on to others. All the while quoting scripture. So
my question, how do I deal with someone who professes to
be a devout Christian but lives his life contradictory to
Christian values. When he denies his sins, he diminishes the
When he avoids any guilt he diminishes CRUXIFIXION making it
seem a fool's errand. In my mind, he conducts himself in
such a manner that the death of Christ seems unnecessarily
cruel. So how can he call himself a Christian? How do I
raise a child with a man like this? Thank you, Lindsay
Well, it seems you understand your husband very well. Catholic
or not, you have correctly understood the situation with a
man who is a pathological liar. You are also correct in saying
that your husband's inability to accept responsibility for his
actions is diminishing the eternal value of the saving act of
the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
is the bad news: you cannot change your husband's pathology.
He can change himself, of course:
all have free will and we are in control of our destiny. We all
have free will and we are in control of our destiny. Right
now, it seems he lives in his own pathological world of lies and
crime. We do not have control over others, so only your
husband can change himself and his inability to see the
consequences of his evil actions. But you can confront him
his actions and show him the truth of the situation. Just know
that you cannot make him see it. He is blinded by sin itself.
That's why when we give our lives to Jesus as Lord and Savior,
then we are no longer a slave to sin. Your husband is
enslaved by his sins.
Everything you said in your question to me is correct. You are
an amazing spiritual person. Obviously, you are wise and
have been guided by the Holy Spirit. . You said
that he likes to quote scripture to throw you off and make him
or intelligent. Well, even the devil himself can quote
scripture to make himself look like telling the truth. An
example of this
is seen in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 4. Read it for
yourself. Here is the devil quoting scripture to Jesus! So,
husband can quote scripture to you all he wants. It is just a
ruse to confuse you and deflect the truth from him and his
actions. Your husband is showing signs of mental and emotional
and even illness. Please understand that this is not your
fault, nor is your husband's posturing against the truth
something that is acceptable. He needs to accept responsibility
all his actions.
My advice: pray, pray, pray for your husband's deliverance from
this pathological world of lies and immaturity. I am sure
that others have told you about getting into marriage
counseling. That is all good and fine if your husband is willing
into counseling. But if he doesn't want to, then you must do
all you can to stay away from your husband, and if possible,
keep your child away from this destructive man. You asked if I
could give you insight how to deal with a Catholic man.
Your question is clear. You already understand this man.
Your husband claiming to be a Christian Catholic doesn't make
him right. Instead, it shows how evil he has become. Pray.
And protect your son and yourself in all ways, even
Father Carlos Morales
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